Qur'an, Hadith and Scholars:Caring for Parents: Difference between revisions

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The Quran emphasises the importance of being good to one's parents, obeying them (unless it is sinful to do so), giving to them and being dutiful towards them. The believer is reminded in particular that his mother bore him in her womb.
 
==Quran==
===Goodness to parents===
{{Quote|{{Quran|17|23}}|And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word}}
 
{{Quote|{{Quran|4|1}}|O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer.}}
 
{{Quote|{{Quran|31|14}}|And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.}}
 
{{Quote|{{Quran|46|15}}|And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims."}}
 
{{Quote|{{Quran|2|83}}|And [recall] when We took the covenant from the Children of Israel, [enjoining upon them], "Do not worship except Allah; and to parents do good and to relatives, orphans, and the needy. And speak to people good [words] and establish prayer and give zakah." Then you turned away, except a few of you, and you were refusing.}}
 
{{Quote|{{Quran|2|215}}|They ask you, [O Muhammad], what they should spend. Say, "Whatever you spend of good is [to be] for parents and relatives and orphans and the needy and the traveler. And whatever you do of good - indeed, Allah is Knowing of it."}}
 
{{Quote|{{Quran|4|36}}|Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful.}}
 
{{Quote|{{Quran|6|151}}|Say, "Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment, and do not kill your children out of poverty; We will provide for you and them. And do not approach immoralities - what is apparent of them and what is concealed. And do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed] except by [legal] right. This has He instructed you that you may use reason."}}
 
===Disbelieving parents===
{{Quote|{{Quran|29|8}}|And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.}}
 
{{Quote|{{Quran-range|31|14|15}}|And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.}}
 
{{Quote|{{Quran|4|135}}|O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah, even if it be against yourselves or parents and relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, Allah is more worthy of both. So follow not [personal] inclination, lest you not be just. And if you distort [your testimony] or refuse [to give it], then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted.}}
 
A verse in Surah al-Tawba talks about close allies / guardians (awliyaa).
 
{{Quote|{{Quran-range|9|23|24}}|O you who have believed, do not take your fathers or your brothers as allies if they have preferred disbelief over belief. And whoever does so among you - then it is those who are the wrongdoers. If your fathers, and your sons, and your brethren, and your wives, and your tribe, and the wealth ye have acquired, and merchandise for which ye fear that there will no sale, and dwellings ye desire are dearer to you than Allah and His messenger and striving in His way: then wait till Allah bringeth His command to pass. Allah guideth not wrongdoing folk.}}
 
In context the above verses may have been meant in the context of opposition to Muhammad as in a similar verse:
{{Quote|{{Quran|58|22}}|Thou wilt not find folk who believe in Allah and the Last Day loving those who oppose Allah and His messenger, even though they be their fathers or their sons or their brethren or their clan. As for such, He hath written faith upon their hearts and hath strengthened them with a Spirit from Him, and He will bring them into Gardens underneath which rivers flow, wherein they will abide. Allah is well pleased with them, and they are well pleased with Him. They are Allah's party. Lo! is it not Allah's party who are the successful?}}
 
==Hadiths==
===Kindness===
{{Quote|{{Al Tirmidhi||5|38|2612}}|Narrated 'Aishah:
 
that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "Indeed among the believers with the most complete faith is the one who is the best in conduct, and the most kind to his family."}}
 
{{Quote|{{Muslim|1|155}}|It is reported on the authority of 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah observed:
 
The best of' the deeds or deed is the (observance of) prayer at its proper time and kindness to the parents.}}
 
===Cursing parents===
{{Quote|{{Bukhari|8|73|4}}|Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr:
 
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said. "It is one of the greatest sins that a man should curse his parents." It was asked (by the people), "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! How does a man curse his parents?" The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "'The man abuses the father of another man and the latter abuses the father of the former and abuses his mother."}}
 
===Duty to parents===
{{Quote|{{Bukhari|8|74|290}}|Narrated Abu Bakra:
 
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the great sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Apostle!" He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents. "}}
 
{{Quote|{{Bukhari|1|10|505}}|Narrated `Abdullah:
 
I asked the Prophet (ﷺ) "Which deed is the dearest to Allah?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents" I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, 'To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause." `Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet (ﷺ) would have told me more."}}
 
===Obeying parents===
{{Quote|{{Muslim|1|158}}|It is narrated on the authority of 'Abdur-Rahman b. Abu Bakra that his father said:
 
We were in the company of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) that he observed: Should I not inform you about the most grievous of the grave sins? (The Holy Prophet) repeated it three times, and then said: Associating anyone with Allah, disobedience to parents, false testimony or false utterance. The Prophet was reclining, then he sat up, and he repeated it so many times that we wished that he should become silent.}}
 
{{Quote|{{Al Tirmidhi|5|344|3018}}|Narrated 'Ubaidullah bin Abi Bakr [bin Anas]:
 
from Anas bin Malik, that the Prophet (ﷺ) [said] about the major sins: "Shirk with Allah, disobeying the parents, taking the life, and false statement."}}
 
===Duty to Mothers===
 
{{Quote|{{Bukhari|3|41|591}}|Narrated Al-Mughira bin Shu`ba:
 
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Allah has forbidden for you, (1) to be undutiful to your mothers, (2) to bury your daughters alive, (3) to not to pay the rights of the others (e.g. charity, etc.) and (4) to beg of men (begging). And Allah has hated for you (1) vain, useless talk, or that you talk too much about others, (2) to ask too many questions, (in disputed religious matters) and (3) to waste the wealth (by extravagance).}}
 
{{Quote|{{Ibn Majah||3|22|2706}}|It was narrated that Abu Hurairah said:
 
“A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said: “O Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), tell me, which of the people has most right to my good companionship?' He said: 'Yes, by your father, you will certainly be told.' He said: 'Your mother,' He said: 'Then who?' He said: Then your mother.' He said: 'Then who?' He said: Then your mother.' He said: 'Then who?' He said: Then your father.' He said: 'Tell me, O Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) about my wealth- how should I give in charity?' He said: 'Yes, by Allah (SWT) you will certainly be told. You should give in charity when you are still healthy and greedy for wealth, hoping for a long life and fearing poverty. Do not tarry until your soul reaches here and you say: “My wealth of for so-and-so,” and “My wealth of for so-and-so,” and it will be for them even though you dislike that.'”}}
 
==References==
{{Reflist|30em}}
 
[[Category:QHS]]

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The Quran emphasises the importance of being good to one's parents, obeying them (unless it is sinful to do so), giving to them and being dutiful towards them. The believer is reminded in particular that his mother bore him in her womb.

Quran

Goodness to parents

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word
O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer.
And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.
And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims."
And [recall] when We took the covenant from the Children of Israel, [enjoining upon them], "Do not worship except Allah; and to parents do good and to relatives, orphans, and the needy. And speak to people good [words] and establish prayer and give zakah." Then you turned away, except a few of you, and you were refusing.
They ask you, [O Muhammad], what they should spend. Say, "Whatever you spend of good is [to be] for parents and relatives and orphans and the needy and the traveler. And whatever you do of good - indeed, Allah is Knowing of it."
Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful.
Say, "Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment, and do not kill your children out of poverty; We will provide for you and them. And do not approach immoralities - what is apparent of them and what is concealed. And do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed] except by [legal] right. This has He instructed you that you may use reason."

Disbelieving parents

And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.
And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.
O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah, even if it be against yourselves or parents and relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, Allah is more worthy of both. So follow not [personal] inclination, lest you not be just. And if you distort [your testimony] or refuse [to give it], then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted.

A verse in Surah al-Tawba talks about close allies / guardians (awliyaa).

O you who have believed, do not take your fathers or your brothers as allies if they have preferred disbelief over belief. And whoever does so among you - then it is those who are the wrongdoers. If your fathers, and your sons, and your brethren, and your wives, and your tribe, and the wealth ye have acquired, and merchandise for which ye fear that there will no sale, and dwellings ye desire are dearer to you than Allah and His messenger and striving in His way: then wait till Allah bringeth His command to pass. Allah guideth not wrongdoing folk.

In context the above verses may have been meant in the context of opposition to Muhammad as in a similar verse:

Thou wilt not find folk who believe in Allah and the Last Day loving those who oppose Allah and His messenger, even though they be their fathers or their sons or their brethren or their clan. As for such, He hath written faith upon their hearts and hath strengthened them with a Spirit from Him, and He will bring them into Gardens underneath which rivers flow, wherein they will abide. Allah is well pleased with them, and they are well pleased with Him. They are Allah's party. Lo! is it not Allah's party who are the successful?

Hadiths

Kindness

Narrated 'Aishah: that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "Indeed among the believers with the most complete faith is the one who is the best in conduct, and the most kind to his family."
It is reported on the authority of 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah observed: The best of' the deeds or deed is the (observance of) prayer at its proper time and kindness to the parents.

Cursing parents

Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said. "It is one of the greatest sins that a man should curse his parents." It was asked (by the people), "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! How does a man curse his parents?" The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "'The man abuses the father of another man and the latter abuses the father of the former and abuses his mother."

Duty to parents

Narrated Abu Bakra: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the great sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Apostle!" He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents. "
Narrated `Abdullah: I asked the Prophet (ﷺ) "Which deed is the dearest to Allah?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents" I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, 'To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause." `Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet (ﷺ) would have told me more."

Obeying parents

It is narrated on the authority of 'Abdur-Rahman b. Abu Bakra that his father said: We were in the company of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) that he observed: Should I not inform you about the most grievous of the grave sins? (The Holy Prophet) repeated it three times, and then said: Associating anyone with Allah, disobedience to parents, false testimony or false utterance. The Prophet was reclining, then he sat up, and he repeated it so many times that we wished that he should become silent.
Narrated 'Ubaidullah bin Abi Bakr [bin Anas]: from Anas bin Malik, that the Prophet (ﷺ) [said] about the major sins: "Shirk with Allah, disobeying the parents, taking the life, and false statement."

Duty to Mothers

Narrated Al-Mughira bin Shu`ba: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Allah has forbidden for you, (1) to be undutiful to your mothers, (2) to bury your daughters alive, (3) to not to pay the rights of the others (e.g. charity, etc.) and (4) to beg of men (begging). And Allah has hated for you (1) vain, useless talk, or that you talk too much about others, (2) to ask too many questions, (in disputed religious matters) and (3) to waste the wealth (by extravagance).
It was narrated that Abu Hurairah said: “A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said: “O Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), tell me, which of the people has most right to my good companionship?' He said: 'Yes, by your father, you will certainly be told.' He said: 'Your mother,' He said: 'Then who?' He said: Then your mother.' He said: 'Then who?' He said: Then your mother.' He said: 'Then who?' He said: Then your father.' He said: 'Tell me, O Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) about my wealth- how should I give in charity?' He said: 'Yes, by Allah (SWT) you will certainly be told. You should give in charity when you are still healthy and greedy for wealth, hoping for a long life and fearing poverty. Do not tarry until your soul reaches here and you say: “My wealth of for so-and-so,” and “My wealth of for so-and-so,” and it will be for them even though you dislike that.'”

References