Kinjicki (Former Muslim)

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This is a testimony of a Muslim leaving Islam. It was originally posted at the FFI Forum and has been reproduced here with permission. Views contained in these testimonies are not necessarily endorsed by WikiIslam. See the Testimony Disclaimer for details.
Personal information
Country of origin    United Kingdom
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Gender    Female
Age    31
Influences    Life, love, humanity
Other interests    Gaining knowledge, experiencing life
Faith Information
Current worldview Christianity
Born or convert to Islam? Born into Islam
Parents' worldview Islam
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Testimony of Leaving Islam

I was born to Pakistani parents, I had a fairly normal upbringing, as a child I wanted desperately to learn about everything. My family were happy to indulge me and taught me to read and write the Arabic alphabet while I was still quite young. Around the age of six I was sent to a local Quran class that took place in the back room of some woman's house, I'd heard that you had to keep your head covered all the time you were there and if you didn't remember what you were supposed to be reading you would get hit. Naturally I hated the idea of this and put up a fight but to no avail. It was as awful as it sounded. I don't know how it works everywhere else, but in this place we were given a line of Arabic to 'read', no explanation as to what it was we were saying, just repeat it over and over again for a hour every afternoon that felt like eternity. When I questioned my family as to what it all meant they wouldn't tell me, when I refused to go again, I was told all sorts of horror stories about hell and the like. I reluctantly went back but refused to wear the headscarf. Men didn't wear it, boys didn't wear it, none of my friends in school wore it so I wasn't wearing it! My grandfather eventually convinced the woman running the classes to allow me to wear a hat, and so I continued for a few years.

We eventually left that town and moved to a place with no other Muslim families, I learnt so much in the new town, it was like a sanctuary away from the stifling religion, Arabic lessons continued at home, but again I fought against them, I didn't why I didn't want to learn but it always felt wrong to me. forward 10 years and I went off the rails. My parents thought I was out of control and suggested maybe I would like to get married instead of continuing with my education. The thought of being married to a Muslim man absolutely mortified me, I couldn't live the rest of my life in Islam and I certainly couldn't inflict it on any children I had. I got into a relationship with a non Muslim man and left home at 18. I eventually married him and had a child. When my parents found me I was 7 months pregnant. My mother told me to have an abortion and wished awful things on the baby. I told them I wouldn't and eventually they left, saying I was no longer their daughter. When I gave birth I called my parents to tell them I'd had a daughter, they offered to take her and raise her if I would come home but I couldn't do that. Over the years there were lots of tears and arguments, I eventually divorced my husband and moved into my own place, again, my parents asked me to come home, they'd gotten more and more religious over the years, even moving back to a town with a lot of other Muslims around.

My story may not seem like one of the other apostates on here, but I have never believed in Islam and certainly don't think walking around a box in the desert and kissing a rock is what God would want of his creations, let alone the praying 5 times, covering women, allowing men to have 4 wives and believing Mohammed was the 'perfect man'.

Religion has always been the point at which my family and I differ. They believe the Quran is the book from God, I always thought it was nonsense, the main point in it being the treatment of women, along with the intolerance of anyone who isn't a Muslim. I always believed God would love all people, no matter what their faith was and I found this to be the case when I read the Bible. I am hoping to get baptised soon and be free of the darkness of Islam for good.

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