Rawaha (Former Muslim)
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Testimony of Leaving Islam
I am from Pakistan and I'm 17 years old. I must admit that I was not a religious Muslim but I used to believe in Islam with my heart and considered it true and everything else wrong. I usually listened to claims such as famous astronauts hearing adhan on the Moon and that the Quran and hadiths had many scientific miracles etc but I never bothered to research these claims for myself because I believed what I heard was the truth. Then I saw things like innocent non-Muslims being killed by Muslims in the name of jihad and their heads being cut off. I saw that most Muslims enjoyed those things and said Allah hu Akbar (Allah is great) and I saw such things all over the social media and my surroundings but I always thought that they are lost and don't understand Islam properly. When I argued with them I thought maybe I was wrong but I continued to believe in Islam. One day I decided to do the research on Islam. I opened Google and decided to research the scientific miracles in the Quran as they are often claimed by Muslims. I found several Muslim websites claiming incredible miracles in the Quran but I wanted to know what non-Muslims have to say about them. I found websites like freethinker. I read an article on the site and realized that there are no such scientific miracles in the Quran. The website's arguments contained logic and they made a lot of sense. I was deeply shocked but I didn't give up. I wanted to prove that website wrong but the more I searched the more I disappointed I became. Then I tried to change the topic and searched about Neil Armstrong converting to Islam and I realized that it was all just a myth and I found many other such lies. I was disappointed and I realized that most Muslims blindly believe what they are told.
Then I decided to do research on Islam and soon I came across a website called WikiIslam. When I read it I discovered things about my religion that 80% of the Muslims don't know. I was shocked. I read hadiths that I couldn't believe to be true. I always thought that Islam was a religion of peace, love and equality but I thought that maybe such hadiths or Quranic verses are wrong and are taken out of context. I took the matter in my own hands and decided to borrow some hadith books from Islamic libraries. I matched it with WikiIslam and I was stunned I couldn't believe that it was actually true. Anyway I continued my research on my religion and faced disappointment every time. I thought that maybe I should visit some pro-Islamic websites but mostly they didn't make any sense. I didn't know what to do for about one month. I was spending most of my days on the internet researching about Islam and I had many doubts about Islam by now. So I decided to consult with my father thinking maybe he could clear my doubts. I asked him about marriage of prophet Muhammad to Ayesha when she was 9 years old and he said that I was lying. I realized that he didn't know about that. He became angry and called his friend on his mobile who was religious and knew much about Islam. He ran an Islamic academy and asked him about it but he said that she was at least 14 year old I said that I have read hadiths from Sahih Bukhari. He asked me to send the references and I did. I was confident and was waiting for his call but he didn't call me back.
I even asked my father to tell me about those references. I knew they were true as I had already confirmed them myself from the books that I borrowed from Islamic libraries. I soon realized that I have to keep it to myself or I may get killed. After some time he called and told me that Google is owned by the Jews they are doing propaganda to wipe out Islam and I heard the same things from my family. But I knew that was not the answer to my questions. I have not openly declared myself as a non-Muslim because I know that if I did such a thing my family will kick me out and even kill me because here leaving Islam is the most unthinkable a person could ever do in life. Well that is my story.
My message to all the non-Muslims who are interested in Islam is that don't listen to Muslims what they say about Islam because 80% of them don't know Islam properly.
Do research on your own instead of trusting what Muslims are telling you!
Love and peace.