'Iddah (Female Menstrual Waiting Period): Difference between revisions

*'''A pregnant woman''': The waiting period is up to 9 months (till the birth of the baby). The reason is to prevent that another man (as 2nd husband) could "water" the unborn child from the previous husband<ref name=":3" /><ref>[https://quranx.com/Hadith/AbuDawud/DarusSalam/Hadith-2158/ Sunnan Abu Dawud, Hadith 2158]</ref>.

If the husband declares the divorce for three times, by saying “I have divorced you, I have divorced you, I have divorced you” (the so-called "triple talaq", طلاق talaq being the Arabic word for "divorce"), then the woman is no longer considered to be his wife.<ref>[https://al-maktaba.org/book/9486/1027 Fiqh Al-Sunnah by Sayyid Sabiq, Dar Al-Kitab Al-Arabi, vol.2 p.267,269]</ref> She enters her 'Iddah period which lasts for three menstrual cycles. The husband cannot remarry her unless she marries another man and gets divorced again.<ref>[https://al-maktaba.org/book/9486/1037 Fiqh Al-Sunnah by Sayyid Sabiq, Dar Al-Kitab Al-Arabi, vol.2 p.277]</ref> This is based on the following Hadith from Sahih Bukhari:{{Quote|[https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5260 Sahih al-Bukhari 5260]|The wife of Rifa`a Al-Qurazi came to Allah's Messenger and said, "O Allah's Messenger! Rifa`a divorced me irrevocably. After him I married `Abdur-Rahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi who proved to be impotent." Allah's Messenger said to her, "Perhaps you want to return to Rifa`a? Nay (you cannot return to Rifa`a) until you and `Abdur-Rahman consummate your marriage."}}

Triple-talaq divorce in one sitting has proven to be problematic:

Ibn Taymiyah (d.1328) was the one who popularized the minority opinion which says that a triple repition of the word divorce (talaaq طلاق) in one sitting counts only as one divorce. And for that opinion, Ibn Taymiyah was accused of breaking the consensus and he was sent to prison.<ref>Daf’ Shubah by Taqiy Al-Din Al-Hisni, Dar Al-Mustafa, p.271

The four schools of Sunni Islamic jurisprudence have different views:

A widowed wife goes through additional mourning restrictions in her waiting period. The mourning restrictions are the avoidance of wearing perfume, beautiful clothes, and jewelry during the waiting period.<ref>[https://al-maktaba.org/book/11430/18742 The Kuwaiti encyclopedia of jurisprudence by the Ministry of Religious Endowments and Islamic Affairs in Kuwait, vol.29 p.353,354]</ref> Many scholars say a formally divorced woman should go through the same mourning restrictions to mourn the loss of the blessing of marriage. The views of the four Sunni schools of jurisprudence  on this issue are as follows: The Hanafi school says a formally divorced woman has to mourn, the Maliki school says she doesn’t need to mourn, while the Shafi’i and the Hanbali schools are split on this issue.<ref>[https://al-maktaba.org/book/11430/768 The Kuwaiti encyclopedia of jurisprudence by the Ministry of Religious Endowments and Islamic Affairs in Kuwait, vol.2 p.104]</ref>

During the waiting period which lasts for four months and ten days, the widow is obliged to stay in her home. She can leave during the day for her daily needs, but she can’t leave during the night (the Hanafi and Shafi'i schools say she can't leave at all).<ref>[https://al-maktaba.org/book/11430/18737 The Kuwaiti encyclopedia of jurisprudence by the Ministry of Religious Endowments and Islamic Affairs in Kuwait, vol.29 p.350]</ref>

{{Quote|{{Abu Dawud||2300|darussalam}}|Furay'ah said that she came to the Messenger of Allah and asked him whether she could return to her people, Banu Khidrah, for her husband went out seeking his slaves who ran away. When they met him at al-Qudum, they murdered him.

{{Quote|{{Abu Dawud||2158|darussalam}}|(Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said): ... it is not lawful for a man who believes in Allah and the Last Day to have intercourse with a captive woman till she is free from a menstrual course (i.e. her first menstrual blood).}}

Some Islamic preachers and scholars argue that the reason for the 4 month and 10 days long 'iddah of a widow is to ''''mourn'''<nowiki/>' the death of the husband.<ref name=":0" /><ref>Reason for 4 months 10 days long Iddah of a widow [https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/88684/rights-of-a-deceased-husband-on-his-wife]</ref> Yet it should be noted that there is no obligation of any “mourning” upon a man if the wife dies. There is clearly a different standard vis-a-vis the same situation involving a man and a woman, as the husband is totally free to marry a new wife the same night, without any waiting period in name of "mourning." He's also totally free to have sex with his other wives and dozens of slave girls the same night as his divorce, and there is no restriction upon him in name of "mourning."

This prohibition seems to imply some impurification of the preborn child by the seed of the second man, but scientifically once the woman has been impregnated this is impossible, the DNA of the baby will not be affected by any other semen in the woman's body. This hadith thus seems to present an unscientific view of human gestation. Moreover, the man is under all circumstances able to take sexual pleasure from any other wife or sex slave that he possess immediately after the end of his marital bond, but it is only the woman who is not allowed to fulfil her natural need to have love and sex from any man.   

===Criticism of 'Iddah in case of triple-talaq divorce===

If the husband says to his wife three times that he has divorced her, then she's formally considered to be divorced from him even if he said the three announcements in one sitting. The husband cannot remarry his wife unless she marries another man and gets divorced by him. This means that the moment the husband pronounces three Talaqs (announcements of divorce) in one sitting, his wife will need to go through a waiting period of three menstrual cycles where she's forced to stay at her ex-husband's home. But this ruling is criticized as unnecesary, since the parentage of the child could be determined after just the first menstrual cycle (as in case of the captive/slave woman). Therefore, logically the 'Iddah should be only one menstrual cycle long if the idea of assuring the parentage of any babies were to be followed to its logical conclusion<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20220113121219/https://atheism-vs-islam.com/index.php/women/94-iddah-i-e-waiting-period-is-illogical-unnecessary-oppressive-injustice-against-the-women Iddah of 3 menstrual cycles in case of 3 Talaqs in one sitting]</ref>. Scholars claim that one of the purposes of the Iddah is to give a chance for reconciliation between the couple. This may be true in the case of a single or double talaq divorce, but after 3 Talaqs there's no chance of reconciliation which makes the additional two menstrual cycles not only meaningless but also mentally harmful for the divorced wife as she's forced to live with her ex-husband in the same home for three menstrual cycles.{{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20210512143740/https://daruliftaa.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/rules_of_iddat-1.pdf Rules of Iddat]|When the husband divorces his wife, she will have to spend her Iddat in the matrimonial home. She must not leave the house during the day nor at night, nor can she make nikah with anyone else ... This rule will apply irrespective of whether the man issued one two or three divorces, and irrespective of whether he issued a talaaqul baa-in (irrevocable divorce) or a talaaq-ur-raj’ee (revocable Talaaq). The same rule will apply in all cases ... If she is observing her ‘Iddat in the same house wherein the man who issued a talaaqul baain to her is also living, she will have to observe strict Purdah (Hijab) with him.}}Moreover, in the present modern era, it is not necessary to wait even for one menstrual cycle, as the pregnancy and paternity can be determined right away through the modern medical tests.   

Islamic preachers and scholars claim that the Islamic 'Iddah of 3 menstrual cycles is correct, since some women have implantation bleeding (bleeding from when the fertilized egg attaches to the lining of the uterus.) despite being pregnant, and it is difficult for a woman to differentiate between the periods and the [https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-does-spotting-last#implantation-spotting implantation bleeding]. Yet despite this rule, traditional Islamic law itself stipulates an 'Iddah of a prisoner/slave woman as only one menstrual cycle, in contradiction to this idea. If parentage were the main issue, the status of the woman (free or slave) should not matter. Also some jurists including Ibn Taymiyah say that the 'Iddah of a free Muslim woman in the case of [[Khul']] is only one period.<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/5163/does-iddah-apply-in-the-case-of-khula 'Iddah in Khul' is one menstrual period]</ref> Even Muhammad himself slept with [[Safiyah]] the same night when her first menstrual blood stopped, after he had murdered her previous husband. Note that Safiyyah was not a slave, but a free woman when Muhammad took her as a wife:  {{Quote|{{Muslim||1365c|reference}}|He (the Holy Prophet) then granted Saffiyyah emancipation and married her. Thabit said to him: Abu Hamza, how much dower did he (the Holy Prophet) give to her? He said: He granted her freedom and then married her. On the way Umm Sulaim embellished her and then sent her to him (the Holy Prophet) at night.}}{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||2893|darussalam}}|Narrated Anas bin Malik: We arrived at Khaibar, and when Allah helped His Apostle to open the fort, the beauty of Safiya bint Huyai bin Akhtaq whose husband had been killed while she was a bride, was mentioned to Allah's Apostle. The Prophet selected her for himself, and set out with her, and when we reached a place called Sidd-as-Sahba,' '''Safiya became clean from her (first) menses then Allah's Apostle took her into his bed.'''}}

There is no Sahih Hadith of the prophet in which he ever mentions the 'Iddah of 3 periods due to any implantation bleeding. Muhammad adopted the practice of 'Iddah from his native Arabian culture. It is in response to modern conceptions of biology and ideals about women's rights that these arguments about parentage have been formulated. But these arguments fall flat, as upon further inspection the contradictions in them are evident (such as having sex with a slave girl after one menstrual cycle). They are not based on the actual source material but rather on a desire to make the source material acceptable to a modern audience.  

===No waiting period in name of "mourning" for the captive/slave women===

The clear disregard for the well-being of women presents a conundrum for modern day advocates of these Islamic laws and traditions. On one hand, Islamic law advocates claim that a Muslim woman is not allowed to be wed during 3 periods/months long 'Iddah while she is mentally under stress after the divorce. Yet on the flip side of the coin, by endorsing a tradition with such endorsements of sexual slavery, they ignore any such mental stress for the prisoner women and girls. Far away from the subject of divorce, even after killing all the men of their family, Muslim men are allowed to use them as sex objects the very same night that their slavery begins. They are provided with no 'waiting period' to come out of their mental stress.