'Iddah (Female Menstrual Waiting Period): Difference between revisions

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The 'iddah (waiting period) of different kind of women in Islam varies depending on her status:

Muslim scholars defend these restrictions upon the women in 'Iddah. They claim that rulings of 'Iddah could neither be abolished, nor could they be changed as the rulings of the [[Shari'ah (Islamic Law)| Islamic Sharia]]  are based upon wisdom, justice and the best interests of the women, and they protect the women against the gender oppression and misogyny, while the man made laws of the modern Western world lead to the sexual exploitation of the women<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/39286 Islam Question Answer Fatwa Website: Is it correct to think that fatwas may vary according to time and place?] </ref><ref>[https://yaqeeninstitute.org/read/paper/women-in-islamic-law-examining-five-prevalent-myths Women in Islamic Law: Examining Five Prevalent Myths]</ref>. Yet in point of fact women are forced to unilaterally face these restrictions, which make their life difficult, while the husbands don't have to face any restriction. The basis of these restrictions, the need to be sure of fatherhood, has been rendered obsolete by modern science. In addition, these restrictions are not found anywhere in the bible or Judeo-Christian tradition. Their antecedents seem rather to be pre-Islamic Arab culture (which is known as "Time of Ignorance (i.e. jāhiliyyah)"<ref>[https://www.al-islam.org/man-and-ignorance/what-does-jahiliyah-mean What does Jahiliyah mean?]</ref>.

*'''A prisoner/slave woman''': The waiting period is becoming free from the blood of the first menstrual cycle<ref name=":3">[https://web.archive.org/web/20201219104233/https://www.iium.edu.my/deed/lawbase/risalah_maliki/book33.html 'Idda, Istibra' and Maintenance]</ref>. The reason is to determine the parentage of the child. Islam considers first menstrual cycle as enough to determine if a woman is pregnant or not.

*'''A pregnant woman''': The waiting period is up to 9 months (till the birth of the baby). The reason is to prevent that another man (as 2nd husband) could "water" the unborn child from the previous husband<ref name=":3" /><ref>[https://quranx.com/Hadith/AbuDawud/DarusSalam/Hadith-2158/ Sunnan Abu Dawud, Hadith 2158]</ref>.

If the husband says to his wife, once or twice, that he has divorces her, then she begins her 'Iddah period which lasts for three menstrual cycles. During this period, she’s still formally considered to be his wife: He’s obliged to house her and provide for her and they both can inherit from one another in case of death. During the Iddah, the husband can cancel the divorce even without her approval by saying that he's taken her back to him or by having sex with her. But if the 'Iddah period passes without any of these two events, then she’s formally divorced.<ref>[https://al-maktaba.org/book/9486/1034 Fiqh Al-Sunnah by Sayyid Sabiq, Dar Al-Kitab Al-Arabi, vol.2 p.274]</ref> After that, if the husband wishes to remarry her, he needs a new marriage contract, two witnesses, to pay the [[Mahr (Marital Price)]] and he also needs her approval.<ref>[https://al-maktaba.org/book/9486/1037 Fiqh Al-Sunnah by Sayyid Sabiq, Dar Al-Kitab Al-Arabi, vol.2 p.277]</ref>

Scholars unanimously agree that a widowed wife should mourn her husband during the waiting period. She mourns him by avoiding wearing perfume, beautiful clothes, and jewelry during her waiting period (4 months and 10 days).<ref>[https://al-maktaba.org/book/11430/18742 The Kuwaiti encyclopedia of jurisprudence by the Ministry of Religious Endowments and Islamic Affairs in Kuwait, vol.29 p.353,354]</ref>   

Although this clearly serves the purpose of insuring that the next man who marries her does not inherit a son from the previous marriage or another man she had relations with during her 'Iddah, the wellbeing of the woman here is not considered at all; her need to either work to support herself or be with her own family for succor and support is not taken into account at all, and neither is her freedom of movement and intention.

Jurists agree that a woman observing her Iddah must not leave her house, with many jurists saying she can only leave for necessary needs. Many Islamic fatawa (religious rulings) decree that Muslim women observing their 'iddah must not leave their (husband's) house even for a walk and certainly not for any type of social gathering ([https://web.archive.org/web/20211014114224/https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/349861/woman-in-iddah-may-go-out-for-need Fatwa 1], [https://web.archive.org/web/20211014114300/https://idealwoman.org/2021/can-a-woman-go-out-for-a-walk-during-iddat/ Fatwa 2]). Although this makes sense from the perspective of insuring that her next husband does not inherit the baby of a man she had relations with during her 'iddah and that any pregnancy which comes about in the 'iddah can only be the work of her husband, it completely disregards her human rights. No consideration is given for the women's freedom of movement, freedom of choice, social or relationship needs.   

{{Quote|[https://sunnah.com/mishkat:3333 Mishkat al-Masabih 3333]|Umm Salama said: God’s Messenger came to visit me when Abu Salama died, and I had put the juice of aloes on myself. He asked me what it was, and I told him it was only the juice of aloes and contained no perfume, so he said, “It gives the face a glow, so apply it only at night and remove it in the daytime, and do not comb yourself with scent or henna, for it is a dye.” I asked God’s Messenger what I should use when combing myself, and he told me to use lote-tree leaves and smear my head copiously with them. Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani declared this Hadith to be FAIR (حسن) (link).}}Although these strictures again work to keep the woman from having any intercourse or attracting any male attention during her 'iddah by keeping herself (relatively) unattractive, these laws once again completely disregard the happiness and freedom of the woman to whom they are applied. They also seem excessively harsh, as if she is truly keeping herself confined to her house the question arises as to who would see her with all of this makeup on even if she did apply it.  

*If she is a virgin girl, then no waiting period is necessary, and the Muslim owner is allowed to force her to provide him the sexual services the same night.

*If she's married and has a husband, then the waiting period is to become free of the first menstrual blood. Even if this blood stopped the first night after the capture/purchase, the owner is allowed to force her to provide him the sexual services the same night.

Saffiyyah (a Jewish captive woman) became free of her blood the next night after her father, brother and husband were killed in the war by Muslims. Thus Muhammad had sex with her the next night

Some Islamic preachers and scholars argue that the reason for the 4 month and 10 days long 'iddah of a widow is to ''''mourn'''<nowiki/>' the death of the husband.<ref name=":0" /><ref>Reason for 4 months 10 days long Iddah of a widow [https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/88684/rights-of-a-deceased-husband-on-his-wife]</ref> Yet it should be noted that there is no obligation of any “mourning” upon a man if the wife dies. There is clerarly a different standard vis-a-vis the same situation involving a man and a woman, as the husband is totally free to marry a new wife the same night, without any waiting period in name of "mourning." He's also totally free to have sex with his other wives and dozens of slave girls the same night as his divorce, and there is no restriction upon him in name of "mourning."

Moreover, the 'iddah is even incumbent upon the widow in cases where she has never seen her husband after the marriage, and in cases where the marriage has not been consummated, and even if she is a minor child,  or even if the marriage was abusive <ref>Widow has to observe 'Iddah even if she never saw the husband after the marriage, or even if she is a small child. [https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/145179/the-waiting-period-of-an-old-woman-after-the-death-of-her-husband]</ref>. ''In all such cases, a widow has no emotional connection with the deceased husband, but still she has to undergo the restrictions of 'Iddah in name of mourning''.  As such, feminist critics of the institution of the 'iddah have decried it as misogynist.