Khadijah bint Khuwaylid

Khadijah nacque a Mecca, all'interno della tribù dominante dei Quraysh. Suo nonno Asad, il capo del suo gruppo, era il nipote di Qusayy ibn Kilab, il custode della Ka’aba e legislatore di Mecca.^[5] This Qusayy had also been a great-great-great-grandfather of Muhammad.^[6] Sua madre, Fatima bint Za’ida, veniva da un altro gruppo di Quraysh, il Amir ibn Luayy.^[7] Il nome Khadijah significa “prematura”,^[8] probabilmente relativo alle circostanze della sua nascita.

Le narrazioni riguardo i primi anni di vita di Khadijah sono scarse e spesso contraddittorie. È generalmente accettato che nacque "quindici anni prima dell'Elefante" e che aveva 65 anni (lunari) quando morì,^[9] quindi nacque tra giugno 556 e luglio 557. C'è però da dire che la fonte di questa narrazione è il nipote di Khadijah, Hakim ibn Hizam, ^[10] uno dei molti primi musulmani che dichiarò di avere 120 anni.^[11] Al contrario, Abdullah ibn Abbas, il cugino che visse al fianco di Maometto durante gli ultimi anni di Medina,^[12] affermò che "il giorno che Khadijah sposò il messaggero di Allah, lei aveva 28 anni."^[13] Se ciò è corretto, lei nacque fra marzo 658 e marzo 569. Altre narrazioni riferiscono altri anni.^[14] Qualunque sia stato il suo anno di nascita, era ancora incinta nel 605.

La personalità di Khadijah è descritta come "determinata e intelligente". ^[15] Sebbene non sia specificato che suo padre fosse un mercante, "i Quraysh erano un popolo dato al commercio,"^[16] quindi Khadijah probabilmente spese la sua infanzia seduta al bazar imparando a negoziare affari. I suoi fratelli conosciuti erano due fratelli, Hizam^[17] e Al-Awwam,^[18] due sorelle, Ruqayqa^[19] e Hala,^[20] e un fratellastro paterno, Nawfal.^[21] Ad un certo punto si parlò del matrimonio di Khadijah con suo cugino, Waraqa ibn Nawfal, ma il matrimonio non avvenne.^[22]

Il primo marito di Khadijah fu Atiq ibn A'idh (anche detto Abid), un giovane membro del gruppo Makhzum.^[23] I Makhzumiani si arricchirono col commercio e la loro generosità gli valse la lealtà dei loro vicini. Erano adesso dei veri e propri contendenti per la guida della città.^[24] Questo matrimonio fu perciò un salto nella scala sociale per Khadijah, ma forse un piccolo salto se la sua famiglia era già ricca. Atiq e Khadijah ebbero due figli, probabilmente – dato che Khadijah generò i suoi figli con un intervallo di due anni^[25] – che il matrimonio durò tra i due e i quattro anni. Da sua figlia, Hind, Khadijah derivò il suo "kunya Umm Hind".^[26] Their son, Abdullah,^[27] Il loro figlio Abdullah,^[28] morì infante.^[29] La maggior parte delle fonti affermano che Atiq morì,^[30] anche se c'è una narrazione differente che dice che il matrimonio terminò con un divorzio.^[31]

Dopo Khadijah sposò un nobile beduino, Malik ibn An-Nabbash, della tribù dei Tamim. Da nomadi che aspiravano allo stile di vita urbano, Malik e i suoi due fratelli erano immigrati a Mecca e avevano formato un'alleanza con il gruppo dei Abduldar dei Quraysh.^[32] Dato il loro rango, i fratelli Tamim avrebbero trattato i loro nuovi alleati come pari e non come vassalli. Per completare la loro cittadinanza meccana cercarono delle mogli Quraysh, alle quali potevano offrire il rango, connessioni e probabilmente anche denaro. È interessante notare come Malik scelse Khadijah, dato che il gruppo Asad era il rivale tradizionale di Abduldar.^[33] Il loro matrimonio diede vita a tre bambini, il che indica che durò fra i quattro ed i sei anni. Dal loro primo figlio, Hala, Malik prese il suo "kunya" Abu Hala.^[34] Il loro secondo figlio fu chiamato anch'egli Hind.^[35] La loro figlia, Zaynab,^[36] probabilmente morì giovane, dato che non se ne sa più nulla, e la stessa Khadijah disse poi che da entrambi i suoi primi due mariti ebbe un figlio morto infante.^[37]

In contraddizione con tutto ciò, qualche fonte dice che Khadijah sposò prima Abu Hala e Atiq dopo.^[38] Ad ogni modo, un "kunya" era generalmente preso da un primogenito, e questo indica che Umm Hind e Abu Hala non condividevano il primogenito.

Non si sa dove o come Abu Hala morì, ma la Guerra Sacrilega contro la tribù Qays-Aylan dominò gli anni 591-594.^[39] Il fratello di Khadijah Hizam fu ucciso nel secondo turno del conflitto,^[40] e loro padre Khuwaylid, che doveva avere circa 60 anni, era un generale sul campo.^[41] Dopo la morte di Abu Hala, molti cittadini importanti si proposero come mariti per la vedova Khadijah, alcuni di loro investendo grosse somme di denaro nella loro corte, ma suo padre pose il veto per ogni corteggiatore.^[42]

Khadijah era la donna più ricca a Mecca. Questo spiega il perché attraeva molti corteggiatori. Quando Abu Hala morì, lei era diventata "una donna mercante di dignità e ricchezza. Era solita assumere uomini per continuare i traffici fuori del paese."^[43] Sebbene le affermazioni che "metà dei traffici a Mecca appartenevano a Khadijah^[44] sono senza dubbio esagerati, è possibile che sia stata la commerciante più facoltosa. Le narrazioni non dicono in che settore operò, ma tra le esportazioni di Mecca si menzionano pellame, lana, profumi, argento, formaggio e farine secche.^[45] Non si sa nemmeno come ottenne il suo giro d'affari. Forse suo padre la aiutò a sistemarsi, ma questo porta a chiedersi come mai Khadijah divenne la più prospera tra tutti i suoi fratelli. Se ha avuto un finanziatore in più non disponibile ai suoi fratelli, è stato probabilmente uno o entrambi i suoi mariti. O forse gli affari prosperarono a causa degli sforzi di Khadijah.

Gli apologetici musulmani a volte usano l'indipendenza di Khadijah per indicare le grandi opportunità che l'islam garantisce alle donne. Affermazioni solite la citano come un esempio del "vibrante, spirito liberatore del primo islam"^[46] o dicono che le giustificazioni moderne per "rifiutare alle ragazze le stesse possibilità di successo si trovano in un'interpretazione arcaica della religione".^[47] Queste affermazioni sono illogiche, dato che la carriera di Khadijah si sviluppò prima che l'islam esistesse. Ciò che ella dimostra sono le opportunità che gli arabi pre-islamici (a volte) garantivano alle donne, le quali non sono si mescolavano liberamente con uomini nel commercio ma erano anche rispettate per questo. La maggior parte dei mercanti erano uomini, ma tra le donne c'erano le pagane Hind bint Utba^[48] e la venditrice di profumi Asma bint Mukharriba^[49][50] Dopo la morte di Khadijah, alle donne musulmane fu ordinato di restare a casa e indossare il velo,^[51] e divenne impossibile per una musulmana condurre ogni tipo di impresa. Khadijah non poteva sapere che a una decade dalla sua morte, il suo stile di vita sarebbe stato proibito alle donne dell'Arabia.

Nella primavera del 595, Khadijah richiese un nuovo agente per accompagnare i suoi cammelli in Siria. Il fratello di sua cognata, Abu Talib ibn Abdulmuttalib,^[52] raccomandò i servizi del suo protetto, un nipote che lui [Abu Talib] non poteva più tenere. Khadijah accettò di assumerlo per una commissione superiore a quella che di solito pagava.^[53] Il suo nome era Maometto.^[54]

Due mesi dopo Maometto tornò a Mecca con della merce con un valore quasi doppio rispetto a quanto atteso da Khadijah.^[55] I beni generalmente importanti dalla Siria includevano grano, olio, vino, armi, cotone e lino.^[56] Khadijah, che divideva le sue entrate,^[57] raddoppiò la commissione di Maometto.^[58] Si dice che Khadijah dopo lo inviò per un secondo viaggio, questa volta verso Tihama^[59] nello Yemen per importante incenso, mirra e tessuti.^[60] Non è chiaro se Khadijah inviò i suoi agenti verso sud nel caldo dell'estate^[61] in modo da eliminare la concorrenza; oppure se questo secondo viaggio avvenne durante un inverno dopo che Khadijah e Maometto erano già sposati, e che il dettaglio che lei lo "assunse" sia un errore; oppure se l'intera cronologia è sbagliata, e questi eventi avvennero in un lasso temporale

più lungo di quel che si crede. Ciò che è certo che che per l'estate del 595, Khadijah decise di sposare il suo agente.^[62]

Khadijah inviò come sua intermediary Nafisa bint Umayya, una donna liberata dalla tribù di Abu Hala.^[63] Nafisa approcciò Maometto al bazar e vli chiese perché non si era mai sposato. Lui rispose che non poteva sostenere una famiglia. "Ma se i soldi non fossero un ostacolo," Nafisa insistette, "sposeresti una donna ricca, di rango e bella?" Maometto chiese quale donna con quelle caratteristiche lo sposerebbe, e Nafisa disse Khadijah. Maometto insistentemente si disse favorevole.^[64] Quando Khadijah chiese di Maometto la volta dopo, era per fare una proposta ufficiale. Disse che la sua nobile famiglia, buona reputazione e onestà personale lo rendessero eleggibile, e si offrì come sua moglie.^[65]

Quando Maometto disse a Nafisa che aveva sempre desiderato sposarsi ma non poteva permetterselo, parlava per esperienza personale. Aveva sperato di sposare sua cugina Fahkita, ma Abu Talib lo aveva proibito dandola ad un uomo ricco e dicendo a Maometto che la famiglia aveva bisogno di sposare i soldi.^[66] Quindi Maometto stava cercando una moglie ed era disposto a considerare ogni offerta ragionevole. L'offerta di Khadijah, ovviamente, era molto più che ragionevole. Era l'equivalente arabo di un multimilionario, e il suo appoggio fu la più grande fortuna di Maometto.

I commentator musulmani sogliono sottolineare il fat to che Khadijah era una donna "molt più vecchia" e quindi Maometto doveva esser stato nobile e magnanimous per sposarla per il duo carattere piuttosto che per il duo fisico.^[67] Sarebbe però difficile prover che Maometto fosse attratto solo dal carattere di Khadijah e non dai suoi soldi. Anche se lei si dimostrò leale ed empatia,^[68] non si sa se Maometto avesse avuto la possibilità di conoscere queste qualità caratteriali prima. È certo che conosceva la sua ricchezza.

Non c'è nemmeno alcuna ragione per assumere che Khadijah fosse brutta fisicamente. Se il rapporto di Abdullah ibn Abbas è corretto, era più vecchia di Maometto di soli tre anni. Sebbene un moderno agiografo la descrive come "bella, alta e dalla pelle chiara"^[69] senza però citare fonti, anche la serva Nafisa disse che era "bella".^[70] Anche se Nafisa stava esagerando (la parola "bella" in questo contesto generalmente significa "aspetto-normale", nel senso di non-malformata o deforme), non aveva motivo di mentire ad un uomo [Maometto] che già sapeva qual era l'aspetto di Khadijah.

Khadijah cheese una controdote di 20 camellia.^[71] Venti camellia valevano circa 9,700 €,^[72] ovvero quattro volte la dote che Maometto diede successivamente alle sue altre mogli.^[73] Questo suggerisce che Khadijah "valeva quattro donne" per lui, nel senso che era parte del loro contratto di matrimonio che lui non avrebbe preso altre mogli durante la vita di lei. Un uomo povero come Maometto avrebbe avuto parecchi problemi ad ammassare un così grosso regalo, anche se averse ritornato tutte le bestie che Khadijah gli aveva personalmente donato (vli aveva pagato le commissioni in camellia).^[74] La sua buona fortuna nell'accaparrarsi la donna più ricca di Mecca deve aver attratto Abu Talib, che cercava investimenti, e possiamo assumere che la famiglia accomunò le risorse per mettere insieme la controdote.

Il matrimonio richiedeva il consenso del guardiano della sposa, e il padre di Khalijah aveva rifiutato i precedenti pretendenti. Lei perciò si assicurò il suo permesso con l'inganno. Offrì insistentemente a suo padre del vino finché fu ubriaco. Dopo macellò una vacca, coprì le sue spalle con una veste a strisce e sparse profumo su di lui, quando Maometto e i suoi zii entrarono nella casa. Khadijah tirò fuori da suo padre le parole necessarie quand'era troppo ebbro per capire cosa stava dicendo. Quando il matrimonio era in corso, Khawaylid tornò sobrio abbastanza da domandare, "Cos'è questa carne, questa veste e questo profumo?" Khadijah rispose, "Mi hai dato in matrimonio a Maometto ibn Abdullah." Khuwaylid era furioso come sua figlia si aspettava, protestando che non aveva mai dato il suo consenso ad una cosa del genere e sguainò addirittura la sua spada. Anche i parenti di Maometto brandirono le armi prima che qualcuno si rese conto che non valeva la pena spargere sangue per questa faccenda. Era troppo tardi. Maometto era il marito di Khadijah.^[75]

Sebbene lo storico musulmano Waqidi negò questa storia imbarazzante (anche mentre la riportava), lo storico britannico Muir argomenta che nessuno aveva nessuna ragione per fabbricarla. La narrazione viene da due fonti indipendenti, entrambi a favore di Maometto e nessuna delle quali aveva nessuna ragione per denigrare il padre di Khadijah o il suo gruppo. Altre due fonti indipendenti, senza menzionare la festa ubriaca, dicono che fu Khuwaylid che diede in sposa Khadijah a Maometto. Sebbene Waqidi sostenga che fu lo zio di Khadijah a darla in sposa perché suo padre era morto prima della Guerra Sacrilega (591-594), il suo pupillo Ibn Saad nomina Khuwaylid come un comandante in quella guerar. Muir quindi conclude che la narrazione della morte di Khuwaylid "è stata inventata, per gettare discredito sulla storia della sua ubriacatezza."^[76]

Questa storia evidenzia la natura contrattuale dei matrimoni in Arabia, in cui il guadiano della sposa (suo padre), trasferiva la guardia della donna al nuovo marito. Era in qualche modo simile a comprare un cammello: l'acquisto richiedeva il consenso del venditore. Maometto non criticò mai questa concezione del matrimonio. Sarebbe stato molto conveniente per lui percepire i suoi matrimoni, incluso quello con Khadijah, puramente come un contratto tra marito e moglie. Eppure non c'è nessuna evidenza che lui volle mai cambiare queste cose, anche dopo che si dichiarò come l'ultimo profeta che era saggio per tutti i tempi ed aveva autorità di cambiare tutte le regole. Alla fine della sua vita, fu specifico per quanto riguardava avere i requisiti legali per contrattare con un guardiano;^[77] lui non si oppose mai al fatto che la donna appartenesse all'uomo.

Questa storia rivela anche che Khadijah e Maometto capivano il consenso. Non c'era bisogno che fosse "libero" o "informato"; ogni tipo di consenso era legalmente vincolante. Questo tema ricorrerà altre volte nella vita di Maometto. Avrebbe successivamente estratto il consenso con la spada,^[78] in difficoltà,^[79] da una mente immatura,^[80] non rilevando informazioni essenziali,^[81] offrendo una falsa dicotomia tra due cattive alternative,^[82] sfruttando credi spirituali,^[83] attraverso la corruzione^[84] o facendo promesse che sapeva che avrebbe spezzato.^[85] Eppure non disse mai che ci fosse un problema etico nell'estrarre il consenso in qualsiasi modo potesse funzionare; era chi acconsentiva con Maometto, che era obbligato, in ogni modo, a rispettare la sua parola.

Muhammad and Khadijah were married for 25 years. Modern biographies of Khadijah sometimes claim her duties during the first fifteen years of her marriage were "purely those of a housewife and a mother,"^[86] or that she "decided to retire and enjoy a comfortable life with her husband who, on his part, preferred an ascetic life to that of money making."^[87]

These creative interpretations do not accord with early records that Muhammad went into partnership with a Makhzumite, Qays ibn Saayib, and sold merchandise in his shop.^[88] Since Muhammad was not producing anything by means of a craft, he could only have sold items in Mecca if he had imported them from elsewhere; and if he could pay for imports, he must have been exporting at a profit. In other words, Khadijah’s business continued after their marriage exactly as it had beforehand.

This circumstance explains a great deal about Muhammad’s relationship with Khadijah. His assertion that Khadijah “spent her wealth for me”^[89] indicates his keen awareness that the money was hers and not his. However important his managerial position in the family firm, and however generously Khadijah shared her wealth, she remained in control of her own money. Muhammad was effectively his wife’s employee. He was in no position to displease her, for he would have lost everything if he had dared to stray. Therefore he was not only faithful to Khadijah but he also allowed her to make all their major decisions.^[90] He was neither so faithful nor so obliging to any of his subsequent wives. In other words, Muhammad made the best husband to the only one of his wives who was able to dictate the terms of their relationship.

It should not be assumed that Muhammad’s fidelity to Khadijah caused him any particular hardship. She was equally faithful to him; and to judge by the regularity of her childbearing, his quickness to “draw close to her” for comfort,^[91] and her deliberate ploy of using sex to distract him from his troubles,^[92] she made herself very sexually available to him. Muhammad’s compliance with this convenient arrangement therefore reveals more about his common sense than about his virtue.

Khadijah brought three stepchildren into the marriage. It is striking how little is known about them. Later historians eagerly collected every possible scrap of information about Muhammad, down to how he cleaned his teeth^[93] and his attitude to a broken sandal.^[94] People who had lived under his roof should have been in high demand as eyewitnesses. Yet by the time the traditions were committed to writing, almost everything about his stepchildren had been forgotten. This implies that their lives did not intersect very much with those of the Muslim community.

Given that girls were often married off at puberty, it is possible that Muhammad never lived with his stepdaughter, Hind bint Atiq. She married a Makhzumite cousin, Sayfi ibn Umayya, to whom she bore at least one son, Muhammad ibn Sayfi. Though this Muhammad in his turn had descendants, it was said that none of the family survived; yet there is not a word about how they died.^[95]

Khadijah’s two sons lived with Muhammad for several years,^[96] and it is known that he liked to play with children.^[97] Of Hala it is recalled that “the Prophet arose and saw Hala in his room. He pressed him to his breast and uttered joyously: ‘Hala, Hala, Hala!’”^[98] If this was all anyone could remember, then nobody remembered very much. Hala was later killed in a street-brawl after he challenged a man who had insulted Muhammad.^[99] This was probably before Islam,^[100] as the Muslims never complained that their Prophet’s own stepson had been martyred for the cause.

The younger stepson, Hind, reminisced to his nephew, Hussayn ibn Ali, that Muhammad's "blessed face shone like the full moon… His modest habit was to look at something without staring... He greeted whomever he met ... He was not short-tempered, nor did he embarrass anyone…", and so on.^[101] Perhaps Hind’s affection for his stepfather was real; there is no evidence of any conflict between them. However, he gave this memoir – and much more in similar vein – long after the Islamic empire was established, when only good things could be spoken of Muhammad; and he did not include any specific events from his childhood. It is clear that Hind was never in Muhammad’s inner circle. His name does not appear in Ibn Hisham’s recension of Ibn Ishaq’s Sirat, which lists all the early converts and describes, name by name, the doings of the emigrants in Medina. Nor does he appear in the ahadith covering that period. This suggests that he did not become a Muslim until the conquest of Mecca in 630, when Muhammad appointed him a governor in Yemen.^[102] The distant location of this post would have continued to keep him away from Muhammad’s intimate affairs. Hind died after 656 at Basra in Syria. “The market was cancelled that day, and there was no loading or unloading of ships.”^[103] He had at least one son, also named Hind; but it is again reported that no descendants survived to the time of writing.^[104]

Over the next ten years, Khadijah bore six more children to Muhammad, attended at each birth by a midwife named Salma.^[105] From their first son, Qasim, Muhammad took the kunya Abu Qasim. There followed Zaynab, Abdullah, Ruqayya, Umm Kulthum and Fatima.^[106] Some historians name two additional sons, Al-Tahir (“the Pure”) or Al-Tayyib (“the Good”), but this is a misreading of Waqidi, who clearly states that these were both bynames given to Abdullah.^[107] Qasim and Abdullah both died in infancy; the girls all grew up.^[108] Fatima, who looked like Muhammad^[109] and was his favourite,^[110] is known to Muslims as az-Zahra (“the Dazzling”) and is regarded as a great saint.^[111]

In addition to their biological children, Muhammad and Khadijah freed and adopted their slave-boy, Zayd ibn Haritha. Zayd was from the Udhra tribe. At a young age he was kidnapped by slave-traders and sold on the slave-market for 400 dirhams (about £2,000). He was purchased by Khadijah’s nephew, who made her a present of him. When it became clear that Muhammad and Khadijah would not have a son of their own, Muhammad took Zayd to the steps of the Ka’aba and declared before the assembled citizens that he took Zayd to be his heir.^[112] Although Muhammad kept Zayd close to him^[113] and conferred many small favours on him,^[114] when the two finally had a conflict of interest, Muhammad ignored Zayd’s rights and served only himself.^[115]

When a drought caused widespread hardship, Khadijah presented Muhammad’s former foster mother with 40 sheep and a camel loaded with supplies.^[116] Muhammad volunteered to relieve his uncle Abu Talib by taking charge of one of the latter’s children. Thereafter Muhammad and Khadijah brought up Muhammad’s young cousin Ali but they did not adopt him legally.^[117] Again, Muhammad always made a great show of affection towards Ali^[118] and even gave him Fatima as his wife.^[119] But the apparent success of this family arrangement has to be set against the reality that Ali grew up with a remarkable lack of empathy for other human beings.^[120]

Modern hagiographers sometimes claim that the virtuous Khadijah, "unlike her people, never believed in nor worshipped idols." ^[121] The early sources state otherwise. Khadijah kept in her house an idol of Al-Uzza, a virgin star-goddess who was the patroness of Mecca and was supposed to be powerful in war.^{[122][123][124]} The family used to worship it just before bedtime.^[125] Muhammad sometimes sacrificed a white sheep to the goddess,^[126] and Khadijah sacrificed two kids at the birth of each son and one at the birth of each daughter.^[127] When Muhammad complained of the Evil Eye, Khadijah used to send for an elderly sorceress to charm it away.^[128] In 605 a severe flood damaged the Ka’aba, and the principal citizens of Mecca cooperated to rebuild it. Muhammad played a prominent part by arbitrating a dispute over who should have the honour of reinstalling the Black Stone.^[129] He gave no hint at that date that he had rejected any of the 360 gods whom he thus rehoused.

However, at an unspecified date and for an unknown reason, Muhammad and Khadijah became disillusioned with their traditional religion. Muhammad and his son Zayd came under the influence of the outspoken monotheist Zayd ibn Amr al-Adiyi, who told them that he never ate meat offered to idols. Muhammad then decided that he too would never again sacrifice to Al-Uzza.^[130] Finally he confessed his unbelief to Khadijah. She replied by telling him to “Leave Al-Lat and leave Al-Uzza.”^[131] (Al-Lat was an earth-mother goddess who was revered in Ta’if.)^[132][133] Such a placid acceptance of her husband’s apostasy suggests that Khadijah in her turn had already lost faith.

It is not stated what Muhammad and Khadijah did with their idol; nor is it known which religious group, if any, they joined next. Monotheists who lived in or travelled through Mecca included Jews, Christians, Zoroastrians and Sabians;^[134] but Zayd ibn Amr did not identify with any of these groups. However, there is little doubt that Muhammad and Khadijah learned monotheistic ideas – Heaven, Hell, holy books, prophets – from Khadijah’s cousins Waraqa ibn Nawfal and Uthman ibn Al-Huwayrith and from Muhammad’s cousin Ubaydallah ibn Jahsh.^[135] Khadijah began to speak as if there was only one God.^[136]

Muhammad took to meditating in caves, often leaving his family for days at a time to focus on his devotions.^[137] In August 610, when he was 39 years old, these meditations were interrupted by an experience that terrified him.^[138] He staggered home to Khadijah under the conviction that he had seen the angel Jibreel (Gabriel) and that he was demon-possessed.^[139] Khadijah wrapped him in a blanket and consoled him. She did not believe that Muhammad could be possessed. “Allah would not treat you thus since he knows your good character. So rejoice and be glad! I have hope that you will be the prophet of this community.” Then she put on her cloak and took Muhammad to consult her cousin Waraqa.^[140]

Waraqa was a blind old man who had converted to Christianity and had studied an Arabic translation of the Gospels.^[141] According to Muhammad, Waraqa declared: “Holy, holy! This was the great Namus [law] that came to Moses. You are the prophet of these people. Should I live till you receive the Divine Message, I will support you strongly.”^[142] If Waraqa really said this, he did not keep his promise. Although he lived for at least another three years,^[143] people afterwards had to ask whether he had even been a Muslim,^[144] meaning that Waraqa never made a public profession of Islam. Nobody except Muhammad and Khadijah ever heard him endorse Muhammad as a prophet. Muhammad even admitted to Aisha that he had required prompting from Khadijah before he could answer this straightforward question.^[144]

It was not Waraqa whose confidence moved Muhammad to discard his terrors and believe in his own mission, but Khadijah herself.^[145] Within hours of deducing that her husband was a prophet, she secured the conversion of her next-door neighbour.^[146] When he next announced that Jibreel was in the room, Khadijah tested the visitor (whom she could not see) by standing in his supposed line of vision, stripping off her gown and enticing Muhammad to have sex with her. Muhammad then reported that Jibreel had departed, and Khadijah declared that Jibreel’s modesty was a certain sign that he was an angel and not a demon.^[147]

Soon after this, Muhammad reported that Jibreel had stopped visiting him. Despite his initial terror of his strange experiences, he was now distraught by their absence.^[148] Several times he became so depressed that he considered committing suicide by throwing himself off a cliff. Although he returned home from each attempt saying that Jibreel had reappeared in time to prevent him,^[149] the angel did not remain long enough to give him any new prophecies. Eventually Khadijah taunted him: “I think that your Lord must have come to hate you!”^[150] This goading, the only recorded incident in which her sympathy for her husband failed, suggests a profound disappointment with the possibility that Muhammad might not be a prophet after all. It was very soon afterwards that Muhammad reported a new prophecy: “Thy Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor doth He hate thee...”^[151]

Muhammad never again mentioned being afraid of the angel. Thenceforth he reported regular visits from Jibreel, who brought new revelations from Allah.^[152] One of the earliest messages concerned the correct ritual for the five daily prayers. After this Muhammad was often to be seen in full public view, first abluting then standing face to the Ka’aba to pray, with Ali at his side and Khadijah a pace behind them.^[153] Khadijah accepted from the beginning that a woman’s place in Islam was behind the men. Their four daughters and Zayd were also among the earliest converts.^[154] After the conversion of Abu Bakr, of course, there was no turning back.^[155]

After three years and some fifty converts,^[156] it was known throughout Mecca that Muhammad considered himself a prophet. He received little attention^[157] until the day when he gathered his relatives together for a dinner-party and invited them to forsake their idols and submit to Allah. But no mass-conversions followed;^[158] the Meccans doubted, questioned and ignored him. Discouraged, Muhammad confided his troubles to Khadijah,^[159] who was quick to console him. The citizens of Mecca accused him of outright lying, and Khadijah continued to reassure him that he was a prophet.^[160] Debates led to angry arguments and mockery, and Khadijah disparaged their folly. Notwithstanding this concise summary of Khadijah’s attitude, surprisingly few specifics are recorded. The exact words of her counter-mockery do not survive, and nor is it precisely described how she “helped him in his work.”^[161] There are very few ahadith about her everyday life with Muhammad or her involvement in community affairs, although there must have been multiple witnesses to both.

Muhammad kept preaching, and the public arguments led to fights in the streets. It was a Muslim who struck the first blow,^[162] but when Muhammad continued his “shameless” attacks,^[163] mocking the idols in the Ka’aba, the pagans began a systematic campaign of punishing Muslim slaves and teenagers.^[164] One of the worst offenders was Khadijah’s brother Nawfal, whom the Muslims called “a satan of the Quraysh.” He once tied Abu Bakr to his kinsman Talha ibn Ubaydullah and left them helplessly roped together.^[165] His attitude raises interesting questions about Khadijah’s relationship with her brother – especially as Nawfal’s own son was an early convert to Islam.^[166] However, while his spiteful prank no doubt caused Abu Bakr and Talha some inconvenience, if this was deemed the action of a “satan”, then the general harassment of freeborn adults was far from life-threatening. The majority of these converts fled to Abyssinia, where the Christian King extended his unqualified protection. Muhammad and Khadijah, being under the protection of Muhammad’s uncle Abu Talib, remained in Mecca.^[167]

More questions about Khadijah’s family arise over Abu Bakr’s purchase and manumission of seven mistreated slaves,^[168] among them Al-Nahdiya bint Habib and her (unnamed) daughter. The story is told of how Al-Nahdiya’s mistress swore never to free them, of how quickly she changed her mind when she heard Abu Bakr’s ransom-offer, and how they dutifully postponed accepting their freedom until they had finished grinding their ex-mistress’s flour.^[169] But the usual retellings of this story omit one important detail: Al-Nahdiya was Khadijah’s own grand-niece. Khadijah’s sister Ruqayqa had a daughter named Umayma bint Abdullah.^[170] There was something irregular about Umayma’s married life: “she went to a foreigner” (whatever this expression means) and married a man from Ta’if. The daughter of this union was the slave Al-Nahdiya bint Habib.^[171] What is more, Al-Nahdiya’s owner belonged to the rival Abduldar clan.^[172] It is not clear whether Umayma herself had been for some reason reduced to slavery or whether it was only her daughter, perhaps deemed in some way illegitimate, who was in bondage. Either way, Khadijah could have easily afforded to ransom her nieces if she had wanted to; since she did not, there must have been some social disgrace or personal grudge associated with Al-Nahdiya’s situation that made Khadijah unwilling to help her. For that matter, no other family member helped either. Since the exact chronology of these events is unknown, it is difficult to discern whether there was any connection between Nawfal’s trick with the rope and Abu Bakr’s ransom of Nawfal’s embarrassing nieces. Indeed, it is difficult to calculate overall how much of the harassment of Muslims was due to Islam and how much might be attributed to old quarrels from pre-Islamic times.

Muhammad warned his opponents of Hellfire, graphically describing how sinners would be “thrown headlong”^[173] into “a fierce blast of fire and boiling water, shades of black smoke,”^[174] to drink “a boiling fluid, and a fluid dark, murky, intensely cold,”^[175] allowing nothing to survive and nothing to escape, “darkening and changing the colour of man.”^[176] Khadijah had to take her share of the warning. When she asked about her children who had died in the days of ignorance, Muhammad replied, “They are in Hellfire. If you saw them, you would hate them.” When she asked about the child that she bore to him, he replied, “He is in Paradise... Verily, the believers and their children will be in Paradise, and the polytheists and their children in the Hellfire.”^[177] Muhammad’s conclusion is interesting in the light of the fact that all the children in question had died before Islam. He did not explain why Khadijah’s subsequent conversion was retrospectively effective to save some of her children but not all of them.

After the conversions of two famously violent citizens, Hamza ibn Abdulmuttalib^[178] and Umar ibn Al-Khattab,^[179] the ruling clans of Mecca declared a boycott. This boycott was against Muhammad’s entire clan, including its non-Muslims. Thenceforth no Meccan might trade, socialise or intermarry with the Hashimites.^[180] The clan inferred that they had been condemned to outlaw status and would not be protected against theft or violence. Fearing worse hostility to follow, in September 616 Abu Talib evacuated the Hashimites from Mecca proper. They camped out in a mountain gorge “formed by one of the defiles, or indentations of the mountain, where the projecting rocks of [Mount] Abu Cobeis pressed upon the eastern outskirts of Mecca. It was entered on the city side by a low gateway, through which a camel passed with difficulty. On all other sides it was detached from the town by cliffs and buildings.”^[181] Such a narrow entrance could be constantly guarded, leaving the Hashimites safe but effectively trapped.

“The Quraysh blocked food-grain and other necessaries.”^[182] For supplies the Hashimites had to depend on smuggler-friends who were willing and able to bypass the Meccans.^[183] For example, Hisham ibn Amr “used to bring a camel laden with food by night, and then when he had got it to the mouth of the alley, he took off its halter, gave it a whack on the side, and sent it into the alley to them. He would do the same thing another time, bringing clothes for them.”^[184] As the Hashimites had no way of earning money to pay for this food, they had to expend their savings. Over the next three years, Khadijah exhausted all her wealth to support the community.^[185] The severity of the blockade continued to grow more intense and the Hashimites remained in the mountain pass for three years.^[186]

Muslims often speak with pride of how Muhammad was faithful to Khadijah. They comment on how it was the "prime time of his youth and constitutes two-thirds of his marriage life,"^[187] and that it "should be noted by those who criticise him for his polygamy in later years."^[188]

In one sense this is true. For example, when the Quraysh chiefs wanted to end the boycott, they offered Muhammad “as many wives as he wanted in marriage,” together with wealth, political power and a competent exorcist, if only he would stop reviling their gods. Muhammad scorned this bribe.^[189] In this case, however, his loyalty to Khadijah can scarcely be disentangled from his loyalty to his own prophetic office. He responded to Khadijah’s support with a nepotistic revelation that the Virgin Mary had been the best woman of her generation while Khadijah was the best woman of the present generation.^[190] He claimed that although there were many perfect men, there had only ever been only three perfect women: Asiya “wife of Pharaoh,” who had rescued the infant Moses; Mary the virgin mother of the Prophet Jesus; and Khadijah. He later allowed that their daughter Fatima was also one of the four “best among the women of Paradise.”^[191] How his three elder daughters reacted to such open favouritism is not recorded. When Khadijah once brought Muhammad a bowl of soup, she was granted a personal message from Jibreel (of which Aisha was later intensely jealous): “Give her Allah’s greeting and the good news that in Paradise she will have a palace built of a hollow pearl, where there will be no noise or fatigue.”^[192]

Yet despite this outward loyalty to Khadijah, it was exactly at this period when Muhammad frankly admitted that he was thinking about other women. It was only after 614 that he introduced to his descriptions of Paradise the “modest houris” (virgins) with “lustrous eyes” and “swelling breasts” who reclined “like pearls or rubies” on “green cushions”.^[193] According to Muir, all of the Qur’anic descriptions of houris date to the last few years of Khadijah’s life; after Muhammad moved to Medina, remarried to a younger woman, there were only two brief and tame references^[194] to “companions pure”.^[195] Muir might have miscalculated, as the most detailed reference to the divine virgins^[196] is sometimes dated to the Medina period,^[197] although the German historian Nöldeke assigned even this one to Khadijah’s lifetime.^[198] Regardless of the exact date when Muhammad eventually shifted his focus, it is certain that the ageing Khadijah knew about the houris.

The boycott against the Hashim clan was lifted “in the tenth year” (between August 619 and August 620), and Muhammad’s clan returned to their houses in Mecca.^[199] By this time, Khadijah was dying.^[200] Muhammad comforted her in her final illness with the reminder that she was going to her jewelled palace in Paradise – so she must convey his best wishes to her co-wives. When Khadijah expressed surprise at the news that Muhammad already had deceased wives, he explained that Allah had wedded him in Paradise to Queen Asiya, to “Kulthum the sister of Moses” and to the Virgin Mary. The theme of having four wives appears to have been on his mind even in his last moments with Khadijah. She responded with the conventional congratulation to a newlywed: “May the union be blessed.”^[201]

Khadijah died on 10 Ramadan “in the tenth year of prophethood, three years before the Hijra,” i.e., on 22 April 620, and was buried in Mount Hajun Cemetery near Mecca.^[202]

“The Messenger of Allah was so grieved about Khadijah that people feared for him.”^[203] For the rest of his life, he spoke warmly and often of her^[204] and sometimes seemed overwhelmed by sorrow at her absence.^[205] He used to say: “Khadijah believed in me when they doubted me; she financed me when they tried to starve me out; and she is the mother of my children. Allah himself nurtured love for her in my heart.”^[206]

Islam changed direction after Khadijah’s death. Within seven weeks Muhammad had become a bigamist.^[207] At the same time he began negotiations for military alliances with foreign tribes,^[208] although it was to be another two years before he succeeded in declaring war on Mecca.^[209] Even the sections of the Qur’an that were composed at the end of Muhammad’s Meccan period, though narrative rather than legislative, read more like the flat prose of Medina than the poetry of Khadijah’s lifetime.^[210] It is frequently said that “Islam arose by Ali’s sword and Khadijah’s wealth.”^[211] It is clear that what Khadijah contributed to the foundations of Islam was far more than money.

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