'Iddah (Female Menstrual Waiting Period)

The length of 'iddah (waiting period) of different kind of women in Islam varies depending on her status:

• A prisoner/slave woman: The waiting period is becoming free from the blood of the first menstrual cycle^[5]. The reason is to determine the parentage of the child. Islam considers first menstrual cycle as enough to determine if a woman is pregnant or not.
• A divorced woman: The waiting period is 3 menstrual cycles. The reason is to make sure she's not pregnant before she can marry another man and to give time to the couple to solve their dispute during this period^[5][6].
• A widowed woman: The waiting period is 4 months and 10 days. The reason is to make sure she's not pregnant before she can marry another man and to give time to the woman to mourn the death of her husband^[5][6].
• A pregnant woman: The waiting period is up to 9 months (till the birth of the baby). The reason is to prevent that another man (as 2nd husband) could "water" the fetus from the previous husband^[5][7].

An important factor in Islamic divorce is whether the husband has declared the divorce for three times or less.

The case of a single or a double divorce:

If the husband says to his wife, once or twice, that he has divorces her, then she begins her 'Iddah period which lasts for three menstrual cycles. During this period, she’s still formally considered to be his wife: He’s obliged to house her and provide for her and they both can inherit from one another in case of death. During the Iddah, the husband can cancel the divorce even without her approval by saying that he's taken her back to him or by having sex with her. But if the 'Iddah period passes without any of these two events, then she’s formally divorced.^[8] After that, if the husband wishes to remarry her, he needs a new marriage contract, two witnesses, to pay the Mahr (Marital Price) and he also needs her approval.^[9]

The case of a triple divorce:

If the husband declares the divorce for three times, by saying “I have divorced you, I have divorced you, I have divorced you”, then the woman is no longer considered to be his wife.^[10] She enters her 'Iddah period which lasts for three menstrual cycles. The husband cannot remarry her unless she marries another man and gets divorced again.^[11] This is based on the following Hadith from Sahih Bukhari:

In summary, if the husband declares divorce once or twice and doesn't cancel the divorce during her waiting period, his wife is formally divorced and he needs a new marriage contract to remarry her. But if the husband declares divorce thrice then his wife is immediately considered to be formally divorced regardless of her waiting period, and the husband cannot remarry his triple-talaq divorced wife unless she marries another man and gets divorced by him.

Triple-talaq divorce in one sitting proved to be problematic:

1- In one moment of anger, a husband could end the marriage and the family by saying a triple divorce, and the literature is clear that his remorse or regret does not invalidate the triple-talaq.

2- Triple divorce led to the spread of a fake kind of marriage where a divorced woman is married to another man only for him to immediately divorce her so that she can return to her original husband. This practice is called Nikah Al-Tahlil نكاح التحليل. ^[12]

This triple divorce in one sitting is considered valid by most classical scholars and by the four traditional Sunni schools of Islamic jurisprudence.^[13]

Ibn Taymiyah (d.1328) was the one who popularized the minority opinion which says that a triple divorce in one sitting counts only as one divorce. And for that opinion, Ibn Taymiyah was accused of breaking the consensus and he was sent to prison.^[14] Despite the opposition to this at the time, Ibn Taymiya’s opinion is the popular one in the Muslim world today.^[15][16]

Another opinion of Ibn Taymiyah which was adopted by prominent Saudi scholars Ibn Baz and Ibn Uthaymin is that in a single menstrual cycle only one divorce counts^[17]. This would imply that for the husband to initiate a triple-talaq divorce he needs to declare divorce once in the each of the three menstrual cycles of the 'Iddah period.

1- The case of a single or a double divorce (by saying “I divorce you” once or twice, in one sitting or two different sittings)

This case is the best for the divorced wife in terms of her rights since she’s considered to be married to her husband until the waiting period is over. During the waiting period, scholars unanimously agree that the husband is obliged to house his wife and provide for her.^[18] If the waiting period ends without the husband canceling the divorce, then she’s no longer considered to be his wife.

The wife cannot leave the husband’s house during the waiting period. The four mainstream schools of Sunni Islamic jurisprudence have the following opinions on the right of leaving the house during the waiting period of a woman divorced with less than three divorce announcements:

The Hanafi and the Shafi’i schools: She cannot leave her husband’s house neither during the day nor the night.

The Hanbali and the Maliki schools: She can leave the house during the day for her daily needs. But she cannot leave during the night because it’s the time when adultery is feared.^[19]

2- The case of a triple divorce (The husband says “I divorce you” three times in one sitting or multiple sittings).

The four schools of Islamic jurisprudence have different views:

The Hanafi school: The husband is obliged to house his triply divorced wife and provide for her.

The Hanbali school: The husband isn’t obliged to house her nor provide for her.

The Shafi’i and the Maliki schools: The husband is obliged to house her but not obliged to provide for her except in case she’s pregnant; the husband here is obliged to provide for her until she gives birth.^[20]

As for the right of leaving the house during the waiting period of a triply divorced woman, the Maliki, Shafi’i and Hanbali schools say that she can leave the house during the day for her daily needs, but she can’t leave during the night. While the Hanafi school says she cannot leave not in the day nor in the night.^[21]

Fatwa from Islam q&a:

A widowed wife goes through additional mourning restrictions in her waiting period. The mourning restrictions are the avoidance of wearing perfume, beautiful clothes and jewelry during the waiting period.^[22] Many scholars say a formally divorced woman should go through the same mourning restrictions to mourn the loss of the blessing of marriage. The views of the four jurisprudence schools on this issue are as follows: The Hanafi school says a formally divorced woman has to mourn. The Maliki school says she doesn’t need to mourn. While each of the Shafi’i and the Hanbali schools are split on this issue.^[23]

3- The case of a widowed woman.

During the waiting period which lasts for four months and ten days, the widow is obliged to stay in her home. She can leave during the day for her daily needs, but she can’t leave during the night.^[24]

There’s disagreement between scholars on whether the widowed woman has the right for housing and maintenance out of her dead husband’s money and estate. The Hanafi and the Hanbali schools say she doesn’t have the right. The Maliki school says she has the right. While the Shafi’i school is split on this issue, with the prominent opinion saying she has the right. Those who say a widowed woman doesn’t have the right for housing and maintenance have based their opinion on:

1- A hadith where Muhammad says: “A (divorced) woman is entitled for housing and provision only if her husband can take her back (i.e. she isn’t triply divorced, or still in her Iddah in case of a single or a double divorce)."

2- The dead husband’s house and money belong to the heirs. The widowed wife is only entitled to her share of the inheritance.^[25]

The mourning restrictions:

Scholars unanimously agree that a widowed wife should mourn her husband during the waiting period. She mourns him by avoiding wearing perfume, beautiful clothes and jewelry during the waiting period (4 months and 10 days).^[26]

Fatwa from Islam q&a:

Islamic 'Iddah not only prohibits the women from remarriage with another man, but it also puts other restrictions upon them. In the case of a widowed woman, she may face more restrictions than a formally divorced woman; yet jurists are split on whether a formally divorced woman should go through the same restrictions of a widowed woman.

First Restriction: She has to undergo the 'Iddah even without any 'maintenance' money

Jurists are split on this issue with many saying that a widowed woman is not entitled to any support from the deceased husband's family or estate. Dar-ul-Ifta takes the following opinion:

A woman has no choice but to compulsorily undergo the 'Iddah of period of 4 months and 10 days (or up to 9 months in case of pregnancy), yet she has no right for maintenance money from the estate of her husband for this long period of time, and this in traditional cultures where women often rely upon men for their sustenance. In such cultures this stricture would be a huge financial burden upon the women, who often did not and do not even have any source of income.

Second Restriction: She has to stay in the house of her ex-Husband during the entirety of the ‘Iddah

If a woman's husband dies then she is allowed to stay only in the house of her husband during this whole period of 'Iddah. She is not allowed to spend this time of 'Iddah in any other place (like house of her parents or any other family members).^[27][28] A Hadith recorded in Sunan Abu Dawud bears witness to this custom, and further clarifies that her need for financial support is not to be taken into consideration. It should be noted though that jurists are split on whether a triply divorced woman or a widowed woman has the right for financial support and housing. The following Hadith, classified as authentic by Al-Albani, shows that a widowed woman has to stay in the husband’s house, even if it doesn’t belong to her husband, or even if he hasn’t left any maintenance money for the wife

Although this clearly serves the purpose of insuring that the next man who marries her does not inherit a son from the previous marriage or another man she had relations with during her 'Iddah, the wellbeing of the woman here is not considered at all; her need to either work to support herself or be with her own family for succor and support is not taken into account at all, and neither is her freedom of movement and intention.

Third Restriction: The Woman should not leave the house even for daily walks, or visit the relatives or attend any social gathering

Jurists agree that a woman observing her Iddah must not leave her house, with many jurists saying she can only leave for necessary needs. Many Islamic fatawa (religious rulings) decree that Muslim women observing their 'iddah must not leave their (husband's) house even for a walk and certainly not for any type of social gathering (Fatwa 1, Fatwa 2). Although this makes sense from the perspective of insuring that her next husband does not inherit the baby of a man she had relations with during her 'iddah and that any pregnancy which comes about in the 'iddah can only be the work of her husband, it completely disregards her human rights. No consideration is given for the women's freedom of movement, freedom of choice, social or relationship needs.

Fourth Restriction: The mourning woman should not even use collyrium/kohl on her eyes even for eye disease, since it beautifies her

Although a woman is allowed to take medical care during her ‘iddah, still she should not use collyrium/kohl as a cure even against any eye disease, since this substance can be used as a form of makeup to beautifie her. According to many jurists, this restriction not only applies on a widowed woman, but it also applies to a formally divorced woman.

Fifth Restriction: Women are not allowed to use good clothes, jewelry, perfume, Henna and to comb their hair or to oil it

Widowed women observing their 'Iddah are not allowed to wear good clothes, or jewelry, or use perfume or Henna. With some jurists saying that even combing their hair and applying the oil to it is forbidden^[29].

Although these strictures again work to keep the woman from having any intercourse or attracting any male attention during her 'iddah by keeping herself (relatively) unattractive, these laws once again completely disregard the happiness and freedom of the woman to whom they are applied. They also seem excessively harsh, as if she is truly keeping herself confined to her house the question arises as to who would see her with all of this makeup on even if she did apply it.

According to the following hadith, the concept of 'iddah was taken from pre-Islamic Arabian culture:

Apparently women even at the time the hadith was created were complaining of the burdens of the 'iddah, but the hadith admonishes them that they ought to be thankful for Islam, since in the jahiliyyah (the pre-islamic time of "ignorance" before the coming of Islam in the Arab peninsula) the 'iddah lasted a whole year. That there were complaints, though, can be seen from the existence of the hadith in the first place, so even in the time of this hadith women were not happy with them; by comparison, modern secular culture imposes no such restrictions on women at all.

The waiting period of captive/slave-women is as follows:

• If she is a virgin girl, then no waiting period is necessary, and the Muslim owner is allowed to force her to provide him the sexual services the same night.
• If she's married and has a husband, then the waiting period is to become free of the first menstrual blood. Even if this blood stopped the first night after the capture/purchase, the owner is allowed to force her to provide him the sexual services the same night.

Imam Abdullah Ibn Abi Zayd (who is also knows as younger Imam Malik), writes in his Fiqh book Risalah:

Even if the first menstrual blood stops the first night after becoming captive/purchase, the Muslim owner is allowed to have sex with her the same night.

Saffiyyah (a Jewish captive woman) became free of her blood the next night after her father, brother and husband were killed in the war by Muslims. Thus Muhammad had sex with her the next night

Criticism of the 'Iddah of a widow

Some Islamic preachers and scholars argue that the reason for the 4 month and 10 days long 'iddah of a widow is to 'mourn' the death of the husband.^[6][30] Yet it should be noted that there is no obligation of any “mourning” upon a man if the wife dies. There is a clear a double standard vis-a-vis the same situation involving a man and a woman, as the husband is totally free to marry a new wife the same night, without any waiting period in name of "mourning." He's also totally free to have sex with his other wives and dozens of slave girls the same night as his divorce, and there is no restriction upon him in name of "mourning."

Moreover, the 'iddah is even incumbent upon the widow in cases where she has never seen her husband after the marriage, and in cases where the marriage has not been consummated, and even if she is a minor child, or even if the marriage was abusive ^[31]. In all such cases, a widow has no emotional connection with the deceased husband, but still she has to undergo the restrictions of 'Iddah in name of mourning. As such, feminist critics of the institution of the 'iddah have decried it as misogynist.

Criticism of the 'Iddah of a pregnant woman

According to the Quran, the 'iddah of a pregnant woman is till the birth of a child (Quran 65:4).

Muhammad in the hadith of Sunan Abu Dawud justifies the practice in this manner:

This prohibition seems to imply some impurification of the fetus by the seed of the second man, but scientifically once the woman has been impregnated this is impossible, the DNA of the baby will not be affected by any other semen in the woman's body. This hadith thus seems to present an unscientific view of human gestation. Moreover, the man is under all circumstances able to take sexual pleasure from any other wife or sex slave that he possess immediately after the end of his marital bond, but it is only the woman who is not allowed to fulfil her natural need to have love and sex from any man.

Criticism of the Islamic Ruling that a pregnant woman has to stay in the house of her ex-husband till the delivery

A pregnant woman has to stay in the house of her ex-husband:

This ruling is criticized while a woman is alone in the house of her ex-husband, and she has to observe Hijab from him too^[32]. Living under one roof with the ex-husband is a cause of mental torture for a woman.

As compared to the house of ex-husband, she could find a lot of love in house of her parents or relatives and live freely there and deliver the child in the comfort of her family.

Criticism of 'Iddah in case of triple divorce

If the husband says to his wife three times that he has divorced her, then she's formally considered to be divorced from him even if he said the three announcements in one sitting. The husband cannot remarry his wife unless she marries another man and gets divorced by him. Meaning the moment the husband pronounces three Talaqs (announcements of divorce) in one sitting, his wife will need to go through a waiting period of three menstrual cycles where she's forced to stay at her ex-husband's home. But this ruling is criticized, while the parentage of the child could be determined only after the first menstrual cycle (as in case of the captive/slave woman). Therefore, logically the 'Iddah should be only one menstrual cycle long if this idea were to be followed to its logical conclusion^[33]. Scholars claim that one of the purposes of the Iddah is to give a chance for reconciliation between the couple. This may be true in the case of one Talaq or two, but after 3 Talaqs there's no chance of reconciliation which makes the additional two menstrual cycles not only meaningless but also mentally harmful for the divorced wife as she's forced to live with her ex-husband in the same home for three menstrual cycles.

Moreover, in the present modern era, it is not necessary to wait even for one menstrual cycle, as the pregnancy could be determined right away through the medical tests.

Implantation Bleeding Despite Being pregnant

(Implantation bleeding happens when the fertilized egg attaches to the lining of the uterus.)

Islamic preachers and scholars claim that the Islamic 'Iddah of 3 menstrual cycles is correct, while some women have implantation bleeding despite being pregnant, and it is difficult for a woman to differentiate between the periods and the implantation bleeding. Yet despite this rule, traditional Islamic law itself stipulates an 'Iddah of a prisoner/slave woman as only one menstrual cycle, in contradiction to this idea. If parentage were the main issue, the status of the woman (free or slave) should not matter. Also some jurists including Ibn Taymiyah say that the 'Iddah of a free Muslim woman in the case of Khul' is only one period.^[34] Even Muhammad himself slept with Safiyah the same night when her first menstrual blood stopped, after he had murdered her previous husband. Note that Safiyyah was not a slave, but a free woman when Muhammad took her as a wife:

There is no Sahih Hadith of the prophet in which he ever mentions the 'Iddah of 3 periods due to any implantation bleeding. Muhammad adopted the practice of 'Iddah from his native Arabian culture. It is in response to modern conceptions of biology and ideals about women's rights that these arguments about parentage have been formulated. But Muslims will fail, as contradictions in Islam will then occur (like having sex with a slave girl after one menstrual cycle). They are not based on the actual source material but rather on a desire to make the source material acceptable to a modern audience.

Why no waiting period in name of "mourning" for the captive/slave women?

In spite of the aforementioned claims of concern for the well-being of women, according to traditional Fiqh (Islamic Jurisprudence) Muslim men are allowed to derive sexual pleasures from the virgin girls taken as war booty during Jihad without giving them any 'waiting period' to mourn their dead family members. As far as the non-virgin slaves taken as war booty are concerned, if they already have husbands, then vaginal coitus is not allowed till they become free of their first menstrual period, but the Muslim Mujhaahiduun (i.e. warriors) are allowed to undress them the same night and to take all kinds of other sexual pleasures and sexual favors from them aside from vaginal penetration.

According to Islamic Scholars, the Fiqh (Jurisprudence) of Imam Bukhari lies in the “Headings of Chapters” of his Book. And Imam Bukhari gave this heading in his book Sahih Bukhari^[35]:

Chapter: If one buys a slave woman, can he then take her along with him in a journey without her completing her waiting period?

Under this heading, Imam Bukhari writes:

The sorrow and pain of such women are recorded in Tabari:

The clear disregard for the well-being of women presents a conundrum for modern day advocates of these Islamic laws and traditions. On one hand, Islamic law advocates claim that a Muslim woman is not allowed to be wed during 3 periods/months long 'Iddah while she is mentally under stress after the divorce. Yet on the flip side of the coin, by endorsing a tradition with such endorsements of sexual slavery, they ignore any such mental stress for the prisoner women and girls. Far away from the subject of divorce, even after killing all the men of their family, Muslim men are allowed their use sex objects the very same night that their slavery begins. They are provided with no 'waiting period' to come out of their mental stress.

Contrary to Islam, even the laws of the Jewish Bible allowed the prisoner women to mourn their relatives for one complete month, during which men were not allowed to take any other sexual services from them.

In creating these new rulings around taking the sexual pleasure of female sex slaves, Islamic law rejected the law of the Bible in this case, and more closely followed the laws of the pagan Arab society of the time of Muhammad, as it benefitted the Muslims financially and they were free to seek sexual pleasures through the prisoner women the same night.