Khadijah bint Khuwaylid: Difference between revisions

Muslim apologists sometimes point to Khadijah’s independence and success as an example of the great opportunities that Islam grants to women. Typical claims cite her as an example of the "vibrant, liberating spirit of early Islam"<ref>"''Khadija, the first wife of the Prophet ... an outstanding female liberating figure in history ... can help us reclaim the vibrant, liberating spirit of early Islam. That alone could go a long way in removing the current image of Muslims among non Muslims.''" - Bandukwala, J. S. “Hazrat Khadija was an outstanding female liberating figure in history,” letter to the editor in ''New Age Islam'', 22 May 2010.</ref> or state that the modern-day justifications for "denying girls an equal chance at success lies in archaic interpretations of religion".<ref>"''For Muslim girls everywhere, Khadijah is one of the first female role models introduced by parents and teachers of religion. A self-made businesswoman … She had already created her own success … The justification for denying girls an equal chance at success lies in archaic interpretations of religion… There is nothing contradictory about being a powerful Muslim female.''" - Saraswati, R. E. (2012). “[http://www.aquila-style.com/focus-points/khadijah-bint-khuwaylid-one-of-the-four-perfect-women/ Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid: Perfect Woman]” in ''Aquila Style''.</ref> These claims are illogical, since Khadijah’s career was established before Islam existed. What it really demonstrates is the opportunities that pre-Islamic Arabs (sometimes) granted to women, who not only mingled freely with men in the market-place but were also respected for doing so. Most merchants were men, but among the women were the very pagan Hind bint Utba<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:165.</ref> and the perfumer Asma bint Mukharriba.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:209.</ref><ref>[http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., Bianquis, T., Bosworth, C. E., van Donzel, E., & Heinrichs, W. P. (Eds.). (2006). '''Encyclopaedia of Islam, 2nd Ed.'' Brill Online.]</ref> After Khadijah died, Muslim women were ordered to stay at home and wear veils,<ref>{{Quran|33|54}}</ref> and it became impossible for an adherent Muslim woman to conduct any such enterprise. Khadijah had no way of knowing that within a decade of her death, her lifestyle would be forbidden to the women of Arabia.

Two months later Muhammad returned to Mecca with merchandise worth nearly double what Khadijah had expected.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 48}}. Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> Goods commonly imported from Syria included grain, oil, wine, weapons, cotton and linen.<ref>Crone, P. (2007). [http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., et al. (Eds.) (2006).]</ref> As Khadijah worked on a profit-share basis,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> she doubled Muhammad’s commission.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> It is said that Khadijah later dispatched him on a second trip, this time to Tihama<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 49}}</ref> in Yemen to import frankincense, myrrh and fine textiles.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 128, 158, 271.</ref> It is not clear whether Khadijah took the unusual step of sending her agent southwards in the heat of summer<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 58. [http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., et al. (Eds.) (2006).] See also {{Quran|106|2}}.</ref> in order to import a near-monopoly; or whether this second venture occurred during a subsequent winter, after Muhammad and Khadijah were already married, and the detail that she “employed” him is an error; or whether the whole timeline has been confused, and these events occurred over a longer timespan than is usually assumed. What is certain is that by the summer of 595, Khadijah had decided to marry her agent.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82; Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref>

==Why Muhammad Married Her==

When Muhammad told Nafisa that he had always wanted to marry but could not afford it, he was speaking directly from his personal experience. He had hoped to marry his cousin Fakhita, but Abu Talib had prevented it by giving her to a wealthy man and telling Muhammad that the family needed to marry money.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 196}}. Bewley/Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 8:109.</ref> So Muhammad was looking for a wife and was in a frame of mind to consider any reasonable offer. Khadijah’s offer, of course, was beyond reasonable. She was the Arab equivalent of a multi-millionaire, and her patronage was the most extraordinary luck for Muhammad.

Nor is there any reason to assume that Khadijah was physically unattractive. If the report of Abdullah ibn Abbas is correct, she was a mere three years older than Muhammad, which hardly qualifies as an age-difference. While a modern hagiography that describes her as “beautiful, tall and light-skinned”<ref>[http://www.maaref-foundation.com/english/library/pro_ahl/fatima/fatima_the_gracious/03.htm/ Ordoni, Abu M. (1987). ''Fatima the Gracious'', p. 27. Qum: Ansariyan Publications.]</ref> does not cite early sources, the servant Nafisa had also mentioned that she was “beautiful”.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:1].</ref> Even if Nafisa was exaggerating (the word “beautiful” in this context usually means “normal-looking” as opposed to deformed or ugly), she achieved no purpose in telling an outright lie to a man who already knew what Khadijah looked like.

Khadijah asked for a dower of 20 camels.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82; Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref> Twenty camels would have been worth about £8,000,<ref>Numerous ''ahadith'' such as {{Bukhari|2|24|528}} and {{Muslim|10|3893}} indicate that a camel cost about 80 ''dirhams'', although this varied with the age and health of the camel. Hence 20 camels would be worth 1,600 ''dirhams''. {{Bukhari|5|59|357}} indicates that an annual income of 5,000 ''dirhams'' was a comfortable living, so Khadijah’s dower was equivalent to four months’ (middle-class) income. However, it seems that a frugal person could survive on a ''dirham'' a day ([http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life4/chap25.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 4 p. 156]), so the same sum came to over four years’ wages for a labourer. While it is almost impossible to calculate equivalent prices for such a different culture, the ''dirham'', a silver coin, was the price of a wooden bowl or a ground-sheet ({{Abudawud|9|1637}}) or a cheap necklace ({{Abudawud|14|2704}}), so we might, very roughly, think of a ''dirham'' as £5. A ''dinar'', a gold coin worth 10 ''dirhams'', was the price of a sheep.</ref> which was four times the dower that Muhammad gave to any of his subsequent wives.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 189}}. See also Ibn Hisham note 918. The same 400 ''dirhams'' (£2,000) was also the ransom for a war-captive ({{Abudawud|14|2685}}) or the starting price for a slave ({{Tabari|39|p. 6}}).</ref> This suggests that Khadijah was “worth four women” to him, i.e. that it was part of their marriage contract that he would not take another wife in her lifetime. A poor man like Muhammad would have had some trouble amassing such a hefty gift, even if he returned all the beasts that Khadijah had personally given him (she had paid his commissions in camels).<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 34.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:34:2.]</ref> His good fortune in attracting the wealthiest woman in Mecca must have delighted the investment-seeking Abu Talib, and we can only assume that the family combined resources to raise the dower.

Marriage required the consent of the bride’s guardian, and Khadijah’s father Khuwaylid had refused her previous suitors. She therefore plotted to secure his permission through trickery. She plied her father with wine until he was drunk. Then she slaughtered a cow, covered his shoulders with a new striped robe and sprinkled him with perfume, whereupon Muhammad and his uncles entered the house. Khadijah extracted the legally binding words from her father while he was too inebriated to know what he was saying. As the day wore on and the wedding party was in full swing, Khuwaylid recovered his sobriety enough to ask, “What is this meat, this robe and this perfume?” Khadijah replied, “You have given me in marriage to Muhammad ibn Abdullah.” Khuwaylid was as furious as his daughter had expected, protesting that he had never consented to any such thing and even unsheathing his sword. Muhammad’s kin also brandished weapons before everyone realised that the matter was not worth actual bloodshed. It was too late. Muhammad was Khadijah’s husband.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 49}}. [http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.4/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:4, 5.] See also Guillaume/Ishaq 83 and Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref>

Although the Muslim historian Waqidi denied this embarrassing story (even while reporting it), the British historian Muir points out that nobody had any reason to fabricate it. The tradition is from two independent sources, both of whom were biased in Muhammad’s favour and neither of whom had any reason to disparage Khadijah’s father or his clan. Two further independent sources, without mentioning the drunken party, state that it was Khuwaylid who married Khadijah to Muhammad. Although Waqidi claims that it was Khadijah’s uncle who gave her away because her father had died before the Sacrilegious War (591-594), his pupil Ibn Saad names Khuwaylid as a commander in that war. Muir therefore concludes that the tradition of Khuwaylid’s death “has been invented, to throw discredit on the story of his drunkenness.”<ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap2.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 2 p. 24f]. See also {{Tabari|6|pp. 48-50}}; Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref>

This story highlights the Arab assumption that marriage was a contract between bridegroom and father-in-law in which they transferred the guardianship of a woman. It was somewhat similar to buying a camel: the purchase required the consent of the vendor. Muhammad never questioned this view of marriage. It would have been highly convenient for him to perceive some of his marriages, including the one to Khadijah, as purely a contract between husband and wife. Yet there is no evidence that this concept ever occurred to him, even after he declared himself the final prophet who was wise for all time and had authority to change all the rules. To the end of his life, he was particular about meeting the legal requirement to contract with a guardian;<ref>E.g., see Bewley/Saad 8:63, 65; {{Tabari|39|pp. 178-179}}; Bewley/Saad 8:105.</ref> he never questioned that every woman belonged to a man.  

This story also reveals how Khadijah and Muhammad understood consent. It did not need to be “free” or “informed”; any type of consent was legally binding. This theme was to recur in Muhammad’s life. He was to extract consent at sword-point,<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 547.</ref> under duress,<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 314-315. Bewley/Saad 8:87-88.</ref> from an immature or unsound mind,<ref>E.g., Bewley/Saad 8:43.</ref> by withholding essential information,<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 463-464. {{Tabari|39|p. 165}}.</ref> by offering a false dichotomy between two bad alternatives,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:40. Guillaume/Ishaq 493.</ref> by exploiting spiritual beliefs,<ref>[http://altafsir.com/Tafasir.asp?tMadhNo=0&tTafsirNo=74&tSoraNo=33&tAyahNo=36&tDisplay=yes&UserProfile=0/ Jalalayn, ''Tafsir'' Q33:36]. See also {{Quran|33|36}}. {{Bukhari|3|43|648}}, {{Muslim|4|3511}}.</ref> through bribery<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 438; 594-597.</ref> or by making promises that he intended to break.<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 504, 509. Bewley/Saad 8:181-182.</ref> Yet he never suggested there was any kind of ethical problem in extracting consent in whatever manner might succeed; it was the one who consented to Muhammad, no matter how, who was morally obliged to stand by his word.

These creative interpretations do not accord with early records that Muhammad went into partnership with a Makhzumite, Qays ibn Saayib, and sold merchandise in his shop.<ref>Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 4 p. 352.</ref> Since Muhammad was not producing anything by means of a craft, he could only have sold items in Mecca if he had imported them from elsewhere; and if he could pay for imports, he must have been exporting at a profit. In other words, Khadijah’s business continued after their marriage exactly as it had beforehand.

Modern hagiographers sometimes claim that the virtuous Khadijah, "unlike her people, never believed in nor worshipped idols." <ref>"''One particular quality in Khadija was quite interesting, probably more so than any of her other qualities mentioned above: she, unlike her people, never believed in nor worshipped idols.''" - [http://www.al-islam.org/masoom/bios/khadija.htm/ Al-Jibouri, Y. T. (1994). ''Khadija Daughter of Khuwaylid, Wife of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).]</ref> The early sources state otherwise. Khadijah kept in her house an idol of Al-Uzza, a virgin star-goddess who was the patroness of Mecca and was supposed to be powerful in war.<ref>[http://www.pantheon.org/areas/mythology/other/articles.html/ “Al-Uzza” in ''Encyclopaedia Mythica''].</ref><ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Al-Kalbi/uzza.htm/ Al-Kalbi, ''The Book of Idols'', pp. 16-29.]</ref><ref>[http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1691&Itemid=109/ Ibn Kathir, ''Tafsir'' on Quran 53:19–26.]</ref> The family used to worship it just before bedtime.<ref>Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 4 p. 222.</ref> Muhammad sometimes sacrificed a white sheep to the goddess,<ref>[http://answering-islam.org/Books/Al-Kalbi/uzza.htm/ Al-Kalbi, pp. 16-17.]</ref> and Khadijah sacrificed two kids at the birth of each son and one at the birth of each daughter.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 36.2/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:36:2].</ref> When Muhammad complained of the Evil Eye, Khadijah used to send for an elderly sorceress to charm it away.<ref>Yunus ibn Bakayr from Ibn Ishaq, cited in [http://books.google.com.au/books?id=tNHnAAAAIAAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_vpt_buy#v=onepage&q&f=false/ Guillaume, A. (1960). ''New Light on the Life of Muhammad'', p. 7. Manchester: Manchester University Press.]</ref> In 605 a severe flood damaged the Ka’aba, and the principal citizens of Mecca cooperated to rebuild it. Muhammad played a prominent part by arbitrating a dispute over who should have the honour of reinstalling the [[Black Stone]].<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 84-86.</ref> He gave no hint at that date that he had rejected any of the 360 gods whom he thus rehoused.

Muslims often speak with pride of how Muhammad was faithful to Khadijah. They comment on how it was the "prime time of his youth and constitutes two-thirds of his marriage life,"<ref>"''His first marriage was with Khadija. He lived with her alone for twenty-five years. It was the prime time of his youth and constitutes two-thirds of his marriage [''sic''] life.''" - Al-Jibouri, Y. T. (1994). “[http://www.al-islam.org/muhammad-yasin-jibouri/8.htm/ Marriages of the Prophet]” in ''Muhammad: The Prophet and Messenger of Allah. Qum, Iran: Ansariyan Publications.</ref> and that it "should be noted by those who criticise him for his polygamy in later years."<ref>"''The Prophet did not marry another woman during his first marriage with Khadija, is a fact that should be noted by those who criticise him for his polygamy in later years.''" - [http://www.bzu.edu.pk/PJIR/eng%201%20Hafiz%20M.pdf/ Saleem (2012)]</ref>

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