Khadijah bint Khuwaylid: Difference between revisions

This circumstance explains a great deal about Muhammad’s relationship with Khadijah. His assertion that Khadijah “spent her wealth for me”<ref>Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 6 pp. 117-118.</ref> indicates his keen awareness that the money was hers and not his. However important his managerial position in the family firm, and however generously Khadijah shared her wealth, she remained in control of her own money. Muhammad was effectively his wife’s employee. He was in no position to displease her, for he would have lost everything if he had dared to stray. Therefore he was not only faithful to Khadijah but he also allowed her to make all their major decisions.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 313.</ref> He was neither so faithful nor so obliging to any of his subsequent wives. In other words, Muhammad made the best husband to the only one of his wives who was able to dictate the terms of their relationship.

It should not be assumed that Muhammad’s fidelity to Khadijah caused him any particular hardship. She was equally faithful to him; and to judge by the regularity of her childbearing, his quickness to “draw close to her” for comfort,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 106</ref> and her deliberate ploy of using sex to distract him from his troubles,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 107; {{Tabari|6|p. 73}}.</ref> she made herself very sexually available to him. Muhammad’s compliance with this convenient arrangement therefore reveals more about his common sense than about his virtue.

Khadijah’s two sons lived with Muhammad for several years,<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 127}}. Note that Tabari assumes that Hind was a girl (''Hind'' and ''Hala'' were both unisex names, though more common for females), which only adds to the general confusion.</ref> and it is known that he liked to play with children.<ref>{{Bukhari|8|73|151}}. See also {{Bukhari|8|73|150}}.</ref> Of Hala it is recalled that “the Prophet arose and saw Hala in his room. He pressed him to his breast and uttered joyously: ‘Hala, Hala, Hala!’”<ref>Ibn Hajar, ''Al-Isaba'' 6:516:8919, cited in [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)].</ref> If this was all anyone could remember, then nobody remembered very much. Hala was later killed in a street-brawl after he challenged a man who had insulted Muhammad.<ref>Baladhuri, ''Ansab al-Ashraf''; Ibn Hajar, ''AI-Isaba'' 1:604:1501; both cited in [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)].</ref> This was probably before Islam,<ref>{{Tabari|39|pp. 79-80}}.</ref> as the Muslims never complained that their Prophet’s own stepson had been martyred for the cause.

The younger stepson, Hind, reminisced to his nephew, Hussayn ibn Ali, that Muhammad's "blessed face shone like the full moon… His modest habit was to look at something without staring... He greeted whomever he met ... He was not short-tempered, nor did he embarrass anyone…", and so on.<ref>"''[Muhammad’s] blessed face shone like the full moon… His modest habit was to look at something without staring... He greeted whomever he met ... He was not short-tempered, nor did he embarrass anyone… When he became angry with someone, he turned his face away from that person and either ignored him or forgave him. When he was happy due to humility it seemed as if he had closed his eyes. His laugh was mostly a smile, when his blessed front teeth glittered like white shining hailstones.''" - [http://www.hadithcollection.com/shama-iltirmidhi/269-shama-il-tirmidhi-chapter-01-the-noble-features-of-rasoolullah/191-shama-il-tirmidhi-chapter-001-hadith-number-007-007.html/ Tirmidhi, ''Shama’il'' 1:7]; [http://www.hadithcollection.com/shama-iltirmidhi/301-shama-il-tirmidhi-chapter-33-the-speech-of-rasoolullah/431-shama-il-tirmidhi-chapter-033-hadith-number-003-215.html/ Tirmidhi, ''Shama’il'' 33:3.]</ref> Perhaps Hind’s affection for his stepfather was real; there is no evidence of any conflict between them. However, he gave this memoir – and much more in similar vein – long after the Islamic empire was established, when only good things could be spoken of Muhammad; and he did not include any specific events from his childhood. It is clear that Hind was never in Muhammad’s inner circle. His name does not appear in Ibn Hisham’s recension of Ibn Ishaq’s ''Sirat'', which lists all the early converts and describes, name by name, the doings of the emigrants in Medina. Nor does he appear in the ''ahadith'' covering that period. This suggests that he did not become a Muslim until the conquest of Mecca in 630, when Muhammad appointed him a governor in Yemen.<ref>{{Tabari|3|pp. 228-230, 318-321, 328}}; Ibn Hajar, ''Al-Isaba'' 3:515:3258; both cited in [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)].</ref> The distant location of this post would have continued to keep him away from Muhammad’s intimate affairs. Hind died after 656 at Basra in Syria. “The market was cancelled that day, and there was no loading or unloading of ships.”<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 80}}.</ref> He had at least one son, also named Hind; but it is again reported that no descendants survived to the time of writing.<ref>Ibn al-Kalbi, ''Jamharat al-Nasabi'', cited in [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)].</ref>

In addition to their biological children, Muhammad and Khadijah freed and adopted their slave-boy, Zayd ibn Haritha. Zayd was from the Udhra tribe. At a young age he was kidnapped by slave-traders and sold on the slave-market for 400 ''dirhams'' (about £2,000). He was purchased by Khadijah’s nephew, who made her a present of him. When it became clear that Muhammad and Khadijah would not have a son of their own, Muhammad took Zayd to the steps of the Ka’aba and declared before the assembled citizens that he took Zayd to be his heir.<ref>{{Tabari|39|pp. 6-9}}.</ref> Although Muhammad kept Zayd close to him<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 115; 314-315. {{Tabari|7|p. 8}}. {{Bukhari|4|53|324}}. {{Abudawud|12|2271}}. {{Muslim|8|3441}}.</ref> and conferred many small favours on him,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 186; 308; 364; 660; 662; 664. {{Tabari|7|16}}. Bewley/Saad 8:72. {{Bukhari|5|59|562}}.</ref> when the two finally had a conflict of interest, Muhammad ignored Zayd’s rights and served only himself.<ref>See {{Tabari|8|pp. 1-4}}.</ref>

When a drought caused widespread hardship, Khadijah presented Muhammad’s former foster mother with 40 sheep and a camel loaded with supplies.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 27.20/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:27:20.]</ref> Muhammad volunteered to relieve his uncle Abu Talib by taking charge of one of the latter’s children. Thereafter Muhammad and Khadijah brought up Muhammad’s young cousin Ali but they did not adopt him legally.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 83}}.</ref> Again, Muhammad always made a great show of affection towards Ali<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 234, 286, 293, 593, 650; {{Bukhari|4|52|219}}; {{Muslim|1|141}}; {{Muslim|31|5917}}.</ref> and even gave him Fatima as his wife.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 167}}.</ref> But the apparent success of this family arrangement has to be set against the reality that Ali grew up with a remarkable lack of empathy for other human beings.<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 496; {{Bukhari|5|59|637}}; {{Bukhari|8|82|803}}; {{Bukhari|8|81|769}}; {{Bukhari|9|84|57}}.</ref>

Modern hagiographers sometimes claim that the virtuous Khadijah, "unlike her people, never believed in nor worshipped idols." <ref>"''One particular quality in Khadija was quite interesting, probably more so than any of her other qualities mentioned above: she, unlike her people, never believed in nor worshipped idols.''" - [http://www.al-islam.org/masoom/bios/khadija.htm/ Al-Jibouri, Y. T. (1994). ''Khadija Daughter of Khuwaylid, Wife of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).'']</ref> The early sources state otherwise. Khadijah kept in her house an idol of Al-Uzza, a virgin star-goddess who was the patroness of Mecca and was supposed to be powerful in war.<ref>[http://www.pantheon.org/areas/mythology/other/articles.html/ “Al-Uzza” in ''Encyclopaedia Mythica''].</ref><ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Al-Kalbi/uzza.htm/ Al-Kalbi, ''The Book of Idols'', pp. 16-29.]</ref><ref>[http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1691&Itemid=109/ Ibn Kathir, ''Tafsir'' on Quran 53:19–26.]</ref> The family used to worship it just before bedtime.<ref>Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 4 p. 222.</ref> Muhammad sometimes sacrificed a white sheep to the goddess,<ref>[http://answering-islam.org/Books/Al-Kalbi/uzza.htm/ Al-Kalbi, pp. 16-17.]</ref> and Khadijah sacrificed two kids at the birth of each son and one at the birth of each daughter.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 36.2/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:36:2].</ref> When Muhammad complained of the Evil Eye, Khadijah used to send for an elderly sorceress to charm it away.<ref>Yunus ibn Bakayr from Ibn Ishaq, cited in [http://books.google.com.au/books?id=tNHnAAAAIAAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_vpt_buy#v=onepage&q&f=false/ Guillaume, A. (1960). ''New Light on the Life of Muhammad'', p. 7. Manchester: Manchester University Press.]</ref> In 605 a severe flood damaged the Ka’aba, and the principal citizens of Mecca cooperated to rebuild it. Muhammad played a prominent part by arbitrating a dispute over who should have the honour of reinstalling the [[Black Stone]].<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 84-86.</ref> He gave no hint at that date that he had rejected any of the 360 gods whom he thus rehoused.

However, at an unspecified date and for an unknown reason, Muhammad and Khadijah became disillusioned with their traditional religion. Muhammad and his son Zayd came under the influence of the outspoken monotheist Zayd ibn Amr al-Adiyi, who told them that he never ate meat offered to idols. Muhammad then decided that he too would never again sacrifice to Al-Uzza.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 99. See also {{Bukhari|7|67|407}}; {{Bukhari|5|58|169}}. Variant forms of this ''hadith'' are cited in [http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/content/bag-meat-study-early-%E1%B8%A5ad%C4%ABth/ Kister, M. J. (1970). “A Bag of Meat.” A Study of an Early Hadith. ''Bulletin of the School of Oriental and African Studies, 33'', 267-75.] Ibn Ishaq (Guillaume, pp. 102-103) describes how Zayd ibn Amr was eventually murdered. Although the culprit was never discovered, Ibn Ishaq apparently suspected Zayd’s half-brother, Al-Khattab ibn Nufayl, the father of Caliph Umar.</ref> Finally he confessed his unbelief to Khadijah. She replied by telling him to “Leave Al-Lat and leave Al-Uzza.”<ref>"''A neighbour of Khadijah bint Khuwaylid heard the Prophet say, “O Khadija! By Allah, I do not worship Al-Lat or Al-Uzza. By Allah, I do not worship [them] at all.” Khadijah replied, “Leave Al-Lat and leave Al-Uzza.” He [the neighbour] said this was their idol, which they all used to worship, after which they would lie down to sleep.''" - Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 4 p. 222.</ref> (Al-Lat was an earth-mother goddess who was revered in Ta’if.)<ref>[http://www.pantheon.org/articles/a/allat.html/ “Allat” in ''Encyclopaedia Mythica''.]</ref><ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Al-Kalbi/allat.htm/ Al-Kalbi, ''The Book of Idols'', pp. 14-15.]</ref> Such a placid acceptance of her husband’s apostasy suggests that Khadijah in her turn had already lost faith.

It is not stated what Muhammad and Khadijah did with their idol; nor is it known which religious group, if any, they joined next. Monotheists who lived in or travelled through Mecca included Jews, Christians, Zoroastrians and Sabians;<ref>{{Quran|2|62}}. {{Quran|5|69}}. {{Quran|22|17}}. Guillaume/Ishaq 90, 106.</ref> but Zayd ibn Amr did not identify with any of these groups. However, there is little doubt that Muhammad and Khadijah learned monotheistic ideas – Heaven, Hell, holy books, prophets – from Khadijah’s cousins Waraqa ibn Nawfal and Uthman ibn Al-Huwayrith and from Muhammad’s cousin Ubaydallah ibn Jahsh.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 99.</ref> Khadijah began to speak as if there was only one God.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 106-107.</ref>

Waraqa was a blind old man who had converted to Christianity and had studied an Arabic translation of the Gospels.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 99; {{Muslim|1|301}}.</ref> According to Muhammad, Waraqa declared: “Holy, holy! This was the great ''Namus'' [law] that came to Moses. You are the prophet of these people. Should I live till you receive the Divine Message, I will support you strongly.”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 107. {{Bukhari|1|1|3}}. {{Bukhari|4|55|605}} [http://www.searchtruth.com/book_display.php?book=55&translator=1&start=55&number=597]. {{Bukhari|9|87|111}} [http://www.searchtruth.com/book_display.php?book=87&translator=1&start=0&number=0]. {{Muslim|1|301}}.</ref> If Waraqa really said this, he did not keep his promise. Although he lived for at least another three years,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 144,</ref> people afterwards had to ask whether he had even been a Muslim,<ref name="Tir4623">"''Aisha narrated. Someone asked Allah’s Messenger about Waraqa. So Khadijah told him, “He believed in you, but died before you appeared as a prophet.” Allah’s Messenger then said, “I was shown him in a dream, wearing white clothes, and if he had been one of the inhabitants of Hell he would have been wearing different clothing.''” - [http://www.oocities.org/tirmidhihadith/page7.html/ Tirmidhi 4623.]</ref> meaning that Waraqa never made a public profession of Islam. Nobody except Muhammad and Khadijah ever heard him endorse Muhammad as a prophet. Muhammad even admitted to Aisha that he had required prompting from Khadijah before he could answer this straightforward question.<ref name="Tir4623"></ref>

It was not Waraqa whose confidence moved Muhammad to discard his terrors and believe in his own mission, but Khadijah herself.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 112.</ref> Within hours of deducing that her husband was a prophet, she secured the conversion of her next-door neighbour.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 201}}.</ref> When he next announced that Jibreel was in the room, Khadijah tested the visitor (whom she could not see) by standing in his supposed line of vision, stripping off her gown and enticing Muhammad to have sex with her. Muhammad then reported that Jibreel had departed, and Khadijah declared that Jibreel’s modesty was a certain sign that he was an angel and not a demon.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 107. {{Tabari|6|p. 73}}. The sanitised version of this story, in which Khadijah merely removes her veil, is unlikely to be the correct one, as Khadijah died long before the veil was mandated. The mere removal of a veil would not have shocked anyone at that early date – assuming that a lady sitting indoors was even wearing one.</ref>

Soon after this, Muhammad reported that Jibreel had stopped visiting him. Despite his initial terror of his strange experiences, he was now distraught by their absence.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 111.</ref> Several times he became so depressed that he considered committing suicide by throwing himself off a cliff. Although he returned home from each attempt saying that Jibreel had reappeared in time to prevent him,<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 76}}. {{Bukhari|9|87|111}}.</ref> the angel did not remain long enough to give him any new prophecies. Eventually Khadijah taunted him: “I think that your Lord must have come to hate you!”<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 70}}.</ref> This goading, the only recorded incident in which her sympathy for her husband failed, suggests a profound disappointment with the possibility that Muhammad might not be a prophet after all. It was very soon afterwards that Muhammad reported a new prophecy: “Thy Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor doth He hate thee...”<ref>{{Quran|93|3}}.</ref>

Muhammad never again mentioned being afraid of the angel. Thenceforth he reported regular visits from Jibreel, who brought new revelations from Allah.<ref>{{Bukhari|1|1|3}}. {{Bukhari|6|60|478}}. Guillaume/Ishaq 111-112.</ref> One of the earliest messages concerned the correct ritual for the five daily prayers. After this Muhammad was often to be seen in full public view, first abluting then standing face to the Ka’aba to pray, with Ali at his side and Khadijah a pace behind them.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 112-114. Bewley/Saad 8:11.</ref> Khadijah accepted from the beginning that a woman’s place in Islam was behind the men. Their four daughters and Zayd were also among the earliest converts.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 114-115, 313-314.</ref> After the conversion of Abu Bakr, of course, there was no turning back.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 114-117.</ref>