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'''<u><big> | '''<u><big>Remarriage to Ex-Spouse after the Divorce</big></u>''' | ||
According to Islam, if a man divorces his wife thrice, then he could not directly remarry her. But if the divorced woman marries another man, and he divorces her or dies, after that she is allowed to remarry her first husband. This ruling has been directly mentioned in Quran. {{Quote|{{Quran|2|230}}|If a man divorces her again (a third time), she becomes unlawful for him (and he cannot remarry her) until she has married another man. Then if he divorces her there is no harm if the two unite again (by remarrying)}}This affects the whole family, but especially women and the children are affected from it. | |||
Islam critics deem this practice to be illogical. | |||
* It takes away the chance from the couple to reconcile later, and to correct their mistake. | |||
* And it is the woman and the children, who have to suffer mainly. | |||
* It combines with another Islamic Ruling of Talaq in Islam i.e. if a divorced woman marries another man, then all her children will be taken away from her immediately. | |||
* Therefore, every divorced Muslim woman is compelled to choose between the two options i.e. either she should give her right to remarry another man, or she should giver her right to have children. In both these cases, a family life of divorced Muslim woman (i.e. to have a husband and children at the same time) is broken. | |||
* The only way for a divorced Muslim woman to enjoy the love and financial support of a man, and at the same time to keep her children, is to remarry her first husband. But again this door has also been shut for her due the Islamic Ruling that she could not remarry her ex-husband directly. | |||
* Children will also certainly loose either their father, or their mother in this case. | |||
==This Islamic Ruling was taken from the pre-Islamic era of Ignorance== | |||
ٰIslam took the following practices of the era of Ignorance of the Arab society<ref>[https://religion.asianindexing.com/index.php?title=Al-Idah/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A8_%D8%B9%DB%81%D8%AF_%D8%AC%D8%A7%DB%81%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%AA_%D9%85%DB%8C%DA%BA_%E2%80%99%E2%80%99%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82%E2%80%98%E2%80%98_%DA%A9%D8%A7_%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%88%D8%B1:_%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%82%DB%8C_%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A6%D8%B2%DB%81&mobileaction=toggle_view_desktop Divorce during the pre-Islamic era of Arab.]</ref>: | |||
* Talaq was only the right of husband, while women din't have this right. | |||
* The 3 Talaqs system was also a practice of pre-Islamic era. | |||
* A Husbands was allowed to take his wife back up till after the 2 Talaqs. | |||
* But after the 3 Talaqs, the wife became prohibited for him, till the time she married another person, who later divorced her. Only after that, the former husband could have married her ex-wife back. | |||
For the people of time of ignorance, it should serve as a punishment for the husband that any other man also tasted his wife (i.e. had intercourse with her). But they didn't consult the women, if they wanted to be used in such a way or not, while women had a lower rank and they were not worthy of consultation. | |||
{{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20211219162614/https://al-maktaba.org/book/7299/3369 Dr. Jawad Ali, in his book "Detailed in the history of the Arabs before Islam" كتاب المفصل فى تاريخ العرب قبل الإسلام [جواد علي] ]|ويظهر أن الجاهليين كانوا قد أوجدوا حلًّا لهذا الطلاق الشاذ، فأباحوا للزوج أن يرجع زوجه إليه بعد الطلاق الثالث، ولكن بشرط أن تتزوج بعد وقوع الطلاق الثالث من رجل غريب، على أن يطلقها بعد اقترانها به، وعندئذ يجوز للزوج الأول أن يعود إليها بزوج جديد.</br>It is apparent that the people from the era of Ignorance found a way to make their wives permissible (Halal) for them even after 3 divorces. Therefore, if the husband wanted to take her back, then that woman had to marry a stranger man on the condition that he would divorce her later. After this process had been completed (i.e. the divorce from the stranger), then the first husband was allowed to remarry her.}} | {{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20211219162614/https://al-maktaba.org/book/7299/3369 Dr. Jawad Ali, in his book "Detailed in the history of the Arabs before Islam" كتاب المفصل فى تاريخ العرب قبل الإسلام [جواد علي] ]|ويظهر أن الجاهليين كانوا قد أوجدوا حلًّا لهذا الطلاق الشاذ، فأباحوا للزوج أن يرجع زوجه إليه بعد الطلاق الثالث، ولكن بشرط أن تتزوج بعد وقوع الطلاق الثالث من رجل غريب، على أن يطلقها بعد اقترانها به، وعندئذ يجوز للزوج الأول أن يعود إليها بزوج جديد.</br>It is apparent that the people from the era of Ignorance found a way to make their wives permissible (Halal) for them even after 3 divorces. Therefore, if the husband wanted to take her back, then that woman had to marry a stranger man on the condition that he would divorce her later. After this process had been completed (i.e. the divorce from the stranger), then the first husband was allowed to remarry her.}} | ||
Later, Islam also made it a part of Islamic Sharia too. | |||
Nevertheless, Islam made it more difficult for the couple to reunite, by putting a condition that no contract could be made with the 2nd husband at the time of marriage, that he would later divorce her. This practically ended (or severely limited) the chance of reunion between the the first husband and the wife. | |||
==Muslim women still feel themselves compelled to go back to their ex-husbands== | ==Why Muslim women still wish or even feel themselves compelled to go back to their ex-husbands?== | ||
Many divorced Muslim women wish | Many divorced Muslim women wish, or even feel themselves compelled, to reunite with their ex-husband. | ||
The reasons are as under. | The reasons are as under. | ||
===First Reason: | ===First Reason: The couple still love each other, despite the temporary anger and dispute=== | ||
A divorce may occur due to many reasons (like temporary anger, inexperience of the young couple to solve their dispute, or family pressure, or financial situation etc.). | |||
But all these factors could change with time, and they may be able to solve their dispute later. | |||
Nevertheless, problem occurs for the divorced Muslim couples that they don't have any chance to correct their mistake, and to reunite due to this Islamic Ruling. | |||
===Second Reason: Preserving the family life for their children=== | ===Second Reason: Preserving the family life for their children=== | ||
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*And thus the children are also separated either from the father or from the mother. | *And thus the children are also separated either from the father or from the mother. | ||
*In both cases, the family life of the children is destroyed. | *In both cases, the family life of the children is destroyed. | ||
*Therefore, for the sake of their children, | *Therefore, for the sake of their children, the divorced couples may wish to reunite later. | ||
But again, due to this Islamic Ruling, the divorced couple get's no chance to correct their mistake and to reunite for the sake of their children. | |||
===Third Reason: Islamic Ruling that a all the children will be separated from the mother, if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband)=== | ===Third Reason: Islamic Ruling that a all the children will be separated from the mother, if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband)=== | ||
Another Islamic Ruling stipulates that<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210606140409/https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/182019/why-a-wife-loses-custody-of-her-children-in-case-she-remarries Woman looses the custody of children if she remarries. www.Islamweb.net Fatwa Site.] </ref>: | |||
*A woman will loose all of her children and they are separated from her if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband). | *A woman will loose all of her children and they are separated from her if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband). | ||
*Islamic Logic is that all the time of the wife (except of the prayers) | *Islamic Logic is that all the time of the wife (except of the prayers) belongs to the new husband. He could call her for sexual enjoyment at any time. But if children from the first husband are still there, then it hampers the right of 2nd husband to enjoy her. Thus, the children should be separated from her if she decides to remarry another person. | ||
*Thus, all the divorced Muslim mothers are affected and they are in a hard rock and hard place due to the "combination" of these 2 "Islamic Rulings". | |||
Thus, all the divorced Muslim mothers are | *They either have to deny the financial support and their wish to have love and attention from another husband, or to deny her children. | ||
*Only option for such divorced Muslim mothers to have a complete family life (along with love from any man and children), is to return to her former husband. | |||
This is one of the main reason why Muslim women are very harshly and unilaterally hit by divorce, and they may feel themselves strongly compelled to return to their first husband (even if these women were totally innocent, and it was the fault of their husbands to divorce them). This is the "Only Chance" available for a Muslim woman in Islam to have a complete family life (which includes husband and her children). | |||
Nevertheless, this "Only Chance" has also been usurped by religion from her. Even if she wishes to reunite with her ex-husband for the sake of family life and her children, still she has to take many "risks". | |||
==Combination of This Ruling + Wife Beating + Wife not having the right to get her freedom through divorce== | |||
This Islamic Ruling does not affect the woman's life alone, but it works in combination of two other Islamic ruling (i..e Wife beating + A wife does not have the right to take divorce). | |||
The combination of all three of them in action is found in the following Hadith:{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5825|darussalam}}|Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband '''and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by severe beating)'''. It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, `Aisha said, ''' "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women (i.e. men were not beating their wives so brutally during the era of ignorance as they beat after Islam). Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" '''When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but '''he is impotent''' and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient '''and wants to go back to Rifa`a (i.e. the first husband)'''." Allah's Apostle said, to her,''' "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you'''." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"}}Therefore: | The combination of all three of them in action is found in the following Hadith:{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5825|darussalam}}|Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband '''and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by severe beating)'''. It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, `Aisha said, ''' "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women (i.e. men were not beating their wives so brutally during the era of ignorance as they beat after Islam). Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" '''When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but '''he is impotent''' and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient '''and wants to go back to Rifa`a (i.e. the first husband)'''." Allah's Apostle said, to her,''' "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you'''." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"}}Therefore: |
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