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Muhammad set up an orderly roster so that each wife would have an equal share of his attention. Every afternoon he paid a social call on all his wives before settling in the house where he intended to sleep.<ref>{{Bukhari|3|47|766}}. See also {{Bukhari|3|48|853}}; {{Muslim|8|3450}}; {{Muslim|8|3451}}; {{Muslim|8|3452}}.</ref> When he went on a journey, he cast lots among his wives to determine who would accompany him.<ref>{{Muslim|37|6673}}.</ref> But rosters and lotteries did little to secure fair turns, for all the wives knew about his preference. As Aisha said, “When a lot other than mine came out, his dislike could be seen. He did not return from any journey and visit any of his wives before me. The division [roster] began with me.”<ref>Bewely/Saad 8:124.</ref> He said, “Aisha has a part in me occupied by no one else.”<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 176}}.</ref> When he teased his wives by saying that he would give his favourite an onyx necklace, he waited for them to whisper that he would give it to Aisha before presenting it to his little granddaughter.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:27-28.</ref> | Muhammad set up an orderly roster so that each wife would have an equal share of his attention. Every afternoon he paid a social call on all his wives before settling in the house where he intended to sleep.<ref>{{Bukhari|3|47|766}}. See also {{Bukhari|3|48|853}}; {{Muslim|8|3450}}; {{Muslim|8|3451}}; {{Muslim|8|3452}}.</ref> When he went on a journey, he cast lots among his wives to determine who would accompany him.<ref>{{Muslim|37|6673}}.</ref> But rosters and lotteries did little to secure fair turns, for all the wives knew about his preference. As Aisha said, “When a lot other than mine came out, his dislike could be seen. He did not return from any journey and visit any of his wives before me. The division [roster] began with me.”<ref>Bewely/Saad 8:124.</ref> He said, “Aisha has a part in me occupied by no one else.”<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 176}}.</ref> When he teased his wives by saying that he would give his favourite an onyx necklace, he waited for them to whisper that he would give it to Aisha before presenting it to his little granddaughter.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:27-28.</ref> | ||
Inevitably, Aisha was not always the wife who benefited from Muhammad’s favouritism. A revelation gave him special permission (not available to any other Muslim) to postpone one wife’s turn if he wanted to be with another.<ref>See {{Quran|33|51}}; {{Bukhari|3|47|766}}.</ref> Muhammad would ask the rostered wife’s permission before he skipped her, but Aisha never dared say no. She only told him: “If I really were free to say no, I would never allow you to favour another woman.”<ref>[http://www.searchtruth.com/book_display.php?book=60&translator=1&start=307&number=312/ {{Bukhari|6|60|312}}].</ref> One night, when Muhammad left Aisha’s room, she assumed he had gone to visit one of the others out of turn. She was so angry that she ripped up his clothes. When he returned to find his cloak in ribbons, he asked: “What is the matter, Aisha? Are you jealous?” She retorted: “And why shouldn’t I be jealous over a man like you!”<ref>{{Muslim|39|6759}}; Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' 6:115.</ref> Only a few days before Muhammad died, he asked Aisha, “Would you like to die before me so that I might wrap you in your shroud, pray over you and bury you?” She replied, “After you had done that, I think you would return to my house and spend a bridal night in it with one of your other wives!” He smiled but he did not deny it;<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 678-679.</ref> for his newest bride, a princess whom he had never met, was at that moment journeying towards Medina.<ref>{{Tabari|9|pp. 138-139}}; Bewley/Saad 8:105.</ref> | Inevitably, Aisha was not always the wife who benefited from Muhammad’s favouritism. A revelation gave him special permission (not available to any other Muslim) to postpone one wife’s turn if he wanted to be with another.<ref>See {{Quran|33|51}}; {{Bukhari|3|47|766}}.</ref> Muhammad would ask the rostered wife’s permission before he skipped her, but Aisha never dared say no. She only told him: “If I really were free to say no, I would never allow you to favour another woman.”<ref>[http://www.searchtruth.com/book_display.php?book=60&translator=1&start=307&number=312/ {{Bukhari|6|60|312}}].</ref> One night, when Muhammad left Aisha’s room, she assumed he had gone to visit one of the others out of turn. She was so angry that she ripped up his clothes. When he returned to find his cloak in ribbons, he asked: “What is the matter, Aisha? Are you jealous?” She retorted: “And why shouldn’t I be jealous over a man like you!”<ref>{{Muslim|39|6759}}; Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' 6:115.</ref> On another night when he departed before dawn, Aisha sent Barira to follow him; but Barira reported that Muhammad had only gone to the graveyard to perform a prayer-ritual.<ref>{{Muwatta|16|16|57}}.</ref> Only a few days before Muhammad died, he asked Aisha, “Would you like to die before me so that I might wrap you in your shroud, pray over you and bury you?” She replied, “After you had done that, I think you would return to my house and spend a bridal night in it with one of your other wives!” He smiled but he did not deny it;<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 678-679.</ref> for his newest bride, a princess whom he had never met, was at that moment journeying towards Medina.<ref>{{Tabari|9|pp. 138-139}}; Bewley/Saad 8:105.</ref> | ||
Some Muslims, especially Shi’a, hold up Aisha’s “jealousy” as an example ''not'' to be followed: “She was absolutely consumed by jealousy throughout her whole life, and jealousy is a major sin. I don’t know why such a person should be considered to be a great saint, when many ordinary women are able to rid themselves of this disease.”<ref>Haydar Husayn on [http://www.shiachat.com/forum/index.php?/topic/234992525-why-aisha-is-a-bad-woman/ ''Why Aisha is a Bad Woman''].</ref> This attempt to label Aisha as “selfish” for wanting a normal monogamous marriage deflects the blame for the conflict away from Muhammad the “perfect man”. Once the focus is returned to Muhammad, it is obvious that he showed very imperfect judgment about the nature of marriage. He claimed to be a prophet in the line of the Jews, and they did not find polygamy acceptable.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:143. “When the Jews saw Allah’s Messenger marrying women, they said, ‘Look at this person who is not satisfied by food. By God, he is only interested in women!’ They envied him because of the number of his wives and they criticised him for that, saying, ‘If he had been a prophet, he would not have desired women.’”</ref> While it is true that polygyny was normal for the pagans, Muhammad was claiming to know better than they did. The same pagans also practised polyandry, and Muhammad had enough insight to forbid this.<ref>Watt, W. M. (1956). ''Muhammad at Medina'', pp. 277-280. Oxford: Oxford University Press.</ref> He also knew that polygyny hurt women. When his son-in-law Ali considered taking a second wife, Muhammad preached from the pulpit that he forbade it because, “What hurts Fatima hurts me.”<ref>{{Bukhari|7|62|157}}.</ref> If he did not forbid polygyny for everyone, beginning with himself, it was essentially because he wanted this form of adultery to be legal. The South African theologian John Gilchrist believes: “Ayishah … may have been his favourite wife but her grievances clearly were motivated … by the fact that she was not his ''only'' wife … Ayishah’s expressions of jealousy are perhaps the best judgment that can be passed on the whole defence that polygamy is justified where all the wives are treated equally.”<ref>[http://www.bible.ca/islam/library/Gilchrist/Vol1/2c.html/ Gilchrist, J. (1986). “The Circumstances of his Marriages,” pp. 77-90, in ''Muhammad and the Religion of Islam''. Benoni, South Africa: Jesus to the Muslims.]</ref> | Some Muslims, especially Shi’a, hold up Aisha’s “jealousy” as an example ''not'' to be followed: “She was absolutely consumed by jealousy throughout her whole life, and jealousy is a major sin. I don’t know why such a person should be considered to be a great saint, when many ordinary women are able to rid themselves of this disease.”<ref>Haydar Husayn on [http://www.shiachat.com/forum/index.php?/topic/234992525-why-aisha-is-a-bad-woman/ ''Why Aisha is a Bad Woman''].</ref> This attempt to label Aisha as “selfish” for wanting a normal monogamous marriage deflects the blame for the conflict away from Muhammad the “perfect man”. Once the focus is returned to Muhammad, it is obvious that he showed very imperfect judgment about the nature of marriage. He claimed to be a prophet in the line of the Jews, and they did not find polygamy acceptable.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:143. “When the Jews saw Allah’s Messenger marrying women, they said, ‘Look at this person who is not satisfied by food. By God, he is only interested in women!’ They envied him because of the number of his wives and they criticised him for that, saying, ‘If he had been a prophet, he would not have desired women.’”</ref> While it is true that polygyny was normal for the pagans, Muhammad was claiming to know better than they did. The same pagans also practised polyandry, and Muhammad had enough insight to forbid this.<ref>Watt, W. M. (1956). ''Muhammad at Medina'', pp. 277-280. Oxford: Oxford University Press.</ref> He also knew that polygyny hurt women. When his son-in-law Ali considered taking a second wife, Muhammad preached from the pulpit that he forbade it because, “What hurts Fatima hurts me.”<ref>{{Bukhari|7|62|157}}.</ref> If he did not forbid polygyny for everyone, beginning with himself, it was essentially because he wanted this form of adultery to be legal. The South African theologian John Gilchrist believes: “Ayishah … may have been his favourite wife but her grievances clearly were motivated … by the fact that she was not his ''only'' wife … Ayishah’s expressions of jealousy are perhaps the best judgment that can be passed on the whole defence that polygamy is justified where all the wives are treated equally.”<ref>[http://www.bible.ca/islam/library/Gilchrist/Vol1/2c.html/ Gilchrist, J. (1986). “The Circumstances of his Marriages,” pp. 77-90, in ''Muhammad and the Religion of Islam''. Benoni, South Africa: Jesus to the Muslims.]</ref> | ||