'Iddah (Female Menstrual Waiting Period)

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In Islamic Sharia, 'iddah or 'iddat (Arabic: العدة‎; period (of waiting)), also spelled iddah, idda, or iddat, is the period a woman must observe after the death of her husband or after a divorce, during which she has to face numbers of restrictions[1].

These restrictions are criticized and it is claimed that:

  • Women have to "unilaterally" face these restrictions, which make their life difficult, while the husbands don't have to face any restriction.
  • Many of these restrictions are not reasonable, and also go against the modern science.
  • Muhammad took these restrictions of 'Iddah from the pre-Islamic Arab culture (which is known as "Time of Ignorance (i.e. jāhiliyyah)"[2].

But Muslim scholars defend these restrictions upon the women in 'Iddah. They claim that rulings of 'Iddah could neither be abolished, nor could they be changed as the rulings of the Islamic Sharia are based upon wisdom, justice and the best interests of the women, and they protect the women against the gender oppression and misogyny, while the man made laws of the modern Western world lead to the sexual exploitation of the women[3][4].

The different lengths of the waiting periods and their reasons

The length of 'iddah (waiting period) of different kind of women in Islam varies depending on her status:

  • A prisoner/slave woman: The waiting period is becoming free from the blood of the first menstrual cycle[5]. The reason is to determine the PARENTAGE of the child. Islam considers first menstrual cycle as enough to determine if a woman is pregnant or not.
  • A divorced woman: The waiting period is 3 menstrual cycles. The reason is to give time to the couple to solve their dispute during this period[5][6].
  • A widowed woman: The waiting period is 4 months and 10 days. The reason is to give time to the woman to MOURN the death of her husband[5][6].
  • A pregnant woman: The waiting period is up to 9 months (till the birth of the baby). The reason is to prevent that another man (as 2nd husband) could "water" the fetus from the previous husband[5][7].

Other Restrictions (except for marrying another man) upon the women during her 'Iddah:

Islamic 'Iddah not only prohibits the women from remarriage with another man, but it also puts other restrictions upon them.

First Restriction: She has to undergo the 'Iddah even without any 'maintenance' money

According to the traditional rulings of Shari'ah, after the death and divorce of a woman's husband she is not entitled to any support from his family or estate. As the Dar-ul-Ifta says:

The maintenance and providing of shelter for a woman observing the Iddat of Death are not the responsibility of her in-laws. She also does not have the right to take her maintenance out of the Estate of her deceased husband.

A woman has no choice but to compulsorily undergo the 'Iddah of period of 4 months and 10 days (or up to 9 months in case of pregnancy), yet she has no right for maintenance money from the estate of her husband for this long period of time, and this in traditional cultures where women often rely upon men for their sustenance. In such cultures this stricture would be a huge financial burden upon the women, who often did not and do not even have any source of income in such cultures.

Second Restriction: She has to stay in the house of her ex-Husband during the entirety of the ‘Iddah

According to the ruling of traditional Islamic Sharia'h, if a woman's husband dies then she is allowed to stay only in the house of her husband during this whole period of 'Iddah. She is not allowed to spend this time of 'Iddah in any other place (like house of her parents or any other family members).[8][9] Sunan Abu Dawud bears witness to this custom, and further clarifies that her need for financial support is not to be taken into consideration:

The woman has to stay in the husband’s house, even if it doesn’t belong to her husband, or even if he hasn’t left any maintenance money for the wife

Furay'ah said that she came to the Messenger of Allah and asked him whether she could return to her people, Banu Khidrah, for her husband went out seeking his slaves who ran away. When they met him at al-Qudum, they murdered him.

So I asked the Messenger of Allah: "Should I return to my people, for he did not leave any dwelling house of his own and maintenance for me?

She said: The Messenger of Allah replied: Yes. She said: I came out, and when I was in the apartment or in the mosque, he called for me, or he commanded (someone to call me) and, therefore, I was called.

He said: what did you say? So I repeated my story which I had already mentioned about my husband.

Thereupon he said: Stay in your house till the term (of four months and 10 days) lapses.

She said: So I passed my waiting period in it (her house) for four months and ten days. When Uthman ibn Affan became caliph, he sent for me and asked me about that; so I informed him, and he followed it and decided cases accordingly.

Although this clearly serves the purpose of insuring that the next man who marries her does not inherit a son from the previous marriage or another man she had relations with during her 'Iddah, the wellbeing of the woman here is not considered at all; her need to either work to support herself or be with her own family for succor and support is not taken into account at all, and neither is her freedom of movement and intention.

Third Restriction: The Woman should not leave the house even for daily walks, or visit the relatives or attend any social gathering

Question: Is a woman allowed to visit family members like her parents or sisters if she is observing iddat and use the excuse that she will be with her family so she doesn’t  see the problem?
Answer: A woman who has been divorced is not allowed to leave the confines of her home during the iddat for whatever reason, be it to visit friends or relatives or to attend the funeral of even her parents.

Many Islamic fatawa (religious rulings) decree that Muslim women observing their 'iddah must not leave their (husband's) house even for a walk and certainly not for any type of social gathering (Fatwa 1, Fatwa 2). Although this makes sense from the perspective of insuring that her next husband does not inherit the baby of a man she had relations with during her 'iddah and that any pregnancy which comes about in the 'iddah can only be the work of her husband, it completely disregards her human rights. No consideration is given for the women's freedom of movement, freedom of choice, social or relationship needs.

Fourth Restriction: The woman should not even use collyrium/kohl on her eyes even for eye disease, since it beautifies her

Although a woman is allowed to take medical care during her ‘iddah, still she should not use collyrium/kohl as a cure even against any eye disease, since this substance can be used as a form of makeup to beautifie her.

Um Salama said that a woman came to Allah's Messenger and said, "O Allah's Messenger ! The husband of my daughter has died and she is suffering from an eye disease. Can she apply  collyrium/kohl to her eye?" Allah's Messenger replied, "No," twice or thrice. (Every time she repeated her question) he said, "No."

Fifth Restriction: Women are not allowed to use good clothes, jewelry, perfume, Henna and to comb their hair or to oil it

Women observing their 'Iddah are not allowed to wear good clothes, or jewelry, or use perfume or Henna. Even combing their hair and applying the oil to it is forbidden[10]. Washing the face with aloe is also forbidden.

Umm Salama said: God’s Messenger came to visit me when Abu Salama died, and I had put the juice of aloes on myself. He asked me what it was, and I told him it was only the juice of aloes and contained no perfume, so he said, “It gives the face a glow, so apply it only at night and remove it in the daytime, and do not comb yourself with scent or henna, for it is a dye.” I asked God’s Messenger what I should use when combing myself, and he told me to use lote-tree leaves and smear my head copiously with them. Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani declared this Hadith to be FAIR (حسن) (link).

Although these strictures again work to keep the woman from having any intercourse or attracting any male attention during her 'iddah by keeping herself (relatively) unattractive, these laws once again completely disregard the happiness and freedom of the woman to whom they are applied. They also seem excessively harsh, as if she is truly keeping herself confined to her house the question arises as to who would see her with all of this makeup on even if she did apply it.

Pre-Islamic Influences on the Concept of ‘Iddah

According to the following hadith, the concept of 'iddah was taken from pre-Islamic Arabian culture:

Um Salama said that a woman came to Allah's Messenger and said, "O Allah's Messenger ! The husband of my daughter has died and she is suffering from an eye disease. Can she apply collyrium/kohl to her eye?" Allah's Messenger replied, "No," twice or thrice. (Every time she repeated her question) he said, "No." Then Allah's Messenger added, "It is just a matter of four months and ten days. In the Pre-Islamic Period of ignorance a widow among you should throw a globe of dung when one year has elapsed (i.e. she had to stay in ‘Iddah for the whole one year)."

Apparently women even at the time the hadith was created were complaining of the burdens of the 'iddah, but the hadith admonishes them that they ought to be thankful for Islam, since in the jahiliyyah (the pre-islamic time of "ignorance" before the coming of Islam in the Arab peninsula) the 'iddah lasted a whole year. That there were complaints, though, can be seen from the existence of the hadith in the first place, so even in the time of this hadith women were not happy with them; by comparison, modern secular culture imposes no such restrictions on women at all.

Waiting period for the captive/slave-women

The waiting period of captive/slave-women was as under:

  • If she was a virgin girl, then there was no waiting period necessary, and the Muslim owner was allowed to force her to provide him the sexual services the same night.
  • If she was married and had a husband, then the waiting period was to become free of the first menstrual blood. Even if this blood stopped the first night after the capture/purchase, the owner was allowed to force her to provide him the sexual services the same night.
(Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said): ... it is not lawful for a man who believes in Allah and the Last Day to have intercourse with a captive woman till she is free from a menstrual course (i.e. her first menstrual blood).

Imam Abdullah Ibn Abi Zayd (who is also knows as younger Imam Malik), writes in his Fiqh book Risalah:

واستبراء الامة في انتقال الملك حيضة انتقل الملك ببيع أو هبة أو سبي أو غير ذلك. ومن هي في حيازته قدحاضت عنده ثم إنه اشتراها فلا استبراء عليها إن لم تكن تخرج.
The istibrā' (waiting) period for a slave concubine who changes ownership is one menstruation. Ownership may change by selling, giving away, capture, or any other way. If the woman menstruates after being taken possession of in advance by her new owner, and then he buys her, she does not have to go through a period of istibrā' (i.e. waiting period).

Even if the first menstrual blood stopped the first night after becoming captive/purchase, the Muslim owner was allowed to have sex with her the same night.

Saffiyyah (a Jewish captive woman) became free of her blood the next night after her father, brother and husband were killed in the war by Muslims. Thus Muhammad had sex with her the next night

Narrated Anas bin Malik: We arrived at Khaibar, and when Allah helped His Apostle to open the fort, (then) the beauty of Safiya bint Huyai bin Akhtaq whose husband had been killed while she was a bride, was mentioned to Allah's Apostle. The Prophet (ﷺ) selected her for himself, and set out with her, and when we reached a place called Sidd-as-Sahba, (which is 14 miles away from Khaibar)' Safiya became clean from her menses then Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) married her.

Criticism upon Islamic 'Iddah

Criticism upon the 'Iddah of a widow

Islamic du'aah, shaykhs, and ulemaa' argue that the reason for the 4 month and 10 days long 'iddah of a widow is to 'mourn' the death of the husband.[6][11] Yet it should be noted that there is no obligation of any “mourning” upon a man if the wife dies. There is a clear a double standard vis-a-vis the same situation involving a man and a woman, as the Husband is totally free to marry a new wife the same night, without any waiting period in name of "mourning". And he is also totally free to have sex with his other wives and dozens of slave girls the same night as his divorce, and there is no restriction upon him in name of "mourning".

Moreover, the 'iddah is even incumbent upon the widow in cases where she has never seen her husband after the marriage, and in cases where the marriage has not been consummated, and even if she is a minor child, or even if the marriage was abusive [12]. In all such cases, a widow has no emotional connection with the deceased husband, but still she has to undergo the restrictions of 'Iddah in name of mourning. As such, feminist critics of the institution of the 'iddah have decried it as misogynist.

Criticism upon the 'Iddah of a pregnant woman

According to the Quran, the 'iddah of a pregnant woman is till the birth of a child (Quran 65:4).

Muhammad in the hadith of Sunan Abu Dawud justifies the practice in this manner:

رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ يَوْمَ حُنَيْنٍ قَالَ ‏"‏ لاَ يَحِلُّ لاِمْرِئٍ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ أَنْ يَسْقِيَ مَاءَهُ زَرْعَ غَيْرِهِ ‏"


The Messenger of Allah said: It is not lawful for a man who believes in Allah and the last day to water what another has sown with his water (meaning intercourse with a woman who is pregnant from her previous husband).

This prohibition seems to imply some impurification of the fetus by the seed of the second man, but scientifically once the woman has been impregnated this is impossible, the DNA of the baby will not be affected by any other semen in the woman's body. This hadith thus seems to present an unscientific view of human gestation. Moreover, the man is under all circumstances able to take sexual pleasure from any other wife or sex slave that he possess immediately after the end of his marital bond, but it is only the woman who is not allowed to fulfil her natural need to have love and sex from any man.

Criticism upon the Islamic Ruling that a pregnant woman has to stay in the house of her ex-husband till the delivery

A pregnant woman has to stay in the house of her ex-husband:

If a woman is pregnant and her husband divorces her, she will have to remain in that house until she delivers her child.

This ruling is criticized while a woman is alone in the house of her ex-husband, and she has to observe Purdah (Hijab) from him too[13]. Living under one roof with the ex-husband is a cause of mental torture for a woman.

As compared to the house of ex-husband, she could find a lot of love in house of her parents or relatives and live freely there and deliver the child without any mental tension.

Criticism upon 'Iddah in case of divorce

There are 2 procedures of giving 3 Talaqs in traditional Sunni Islam[14][15]:

  • Firstly, when husband pronounce 3 Talaqs in one sitting (known as Talaq al-Bidah).
  • Or husband gives each divorce after one menstrual cycle without touching her (known as Talaq al-Sunnah). This means, the process of 3 Talaqs takes 3 menstrual cycles.

Both of these two procedures are criticized.

Criticism upon the 'Iddah in case of Talaq al-Bidah (i.e. Triple Talaqs in one sitting):

In the first case of triple Talaqs in one sitting, a woman has to go the restrictions of 'Iddah for 3 menstrual cycles before remarrying another man. But this ruling is criticized, while the parentage of the child could be determined only after the first menstrual cycle (as in case of the captive/slave woman). Therefore, logically the 'Iddah should be only one menstrual cycle long[16]. There is no chance of reconciliation between the couple after the 3 Talaqs.

Moreover, it is also claimed that in the present modern era, it is not necessary to wait even for one menstrual cycle, as the pregnancy could be determined right away through the medical tests.

Criticism upon the 'Iddah in case of Talaq al-Sunnah (i.e. Triple Talaqs in 3 different sittings)

In case of Talaq al-Sunnah, the process of divorce itself takes the time of 3 menstrual cycles, during which husband is not allowed to touch the woman[14][15]. Therefore, this process of divorce (which is 3 menstrual cycles long) is itself enough to make sure if the woman is pregnant or not (as the husband has not touched her during this period).

But according to the traditional Sunni Islam, a woman has to undergo 3 more menstrual cycles of 'Iddah (i.e. The whole process of Divorce + ‘Iddah lasts for at least 6 menstrual cycles for a divorced woman).

If the woman is not pregnant and she menstruates (is of child-bearing age), then her ‘iddah is three complete menstrual cycles after the divorce, i.e., her period comes then she becomes pure, then her period comes again and she becomes pure, then her period comes again and she becomes pure. That is three complete menstrual cycles, regardless of whether the time between them is long or short. Based on this, if he divorces her and she is breastfeeding and does not menstruate until two years later, then she remains in ‘iddah until she has had three menstrual cycles, so she may stay in this state for two years or more. The point is that she should go through three complete menstrual cycles whether the time involved is long or short, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And divorced women shall wait (as regards their marriage) for three menstrual periods”

[al-Baqarah 2:228]

Criticism upon the Islamic Ruling that in case of Divorce too, woman has to stay in the house of her ex-husband during the period of 'Iddah

Not only the widow has to compulsorily stay in the house of deceased husband during 'Iddah, but in case of divorce too, a woman has to compulsorily stay in the house of ex-husband:

When the husband divorces his wife, she will have to spend her Iddat in the matrimonial home. She must not leave the house during the day nor at night, nor can she make nikah with anyone else ... This rule will apply irrespective of whether the man issued one two or three divorces, and irrespective of whether he issued a talaaqul baa-in (irrevocable divorce) or a talaaq-ur-raj’ee (revocable Talaaq). The same rule will apply in all cases ... If she is observing her ‘Iddat in the same house wherein the man who issued a talaaqul baain to her is also living, she will have to observe strict Purdah (Hijab) with him.

The critics of this ruling points out that after the irrevocable triple talaq (either in one sitting or three different sittings), no reconciliation is possible (except that she marries another man and he also divorces her). So, what is the purpose to compel her to stay during the 'Iddah period in the house of her ex-husband, where she undergoes another hardship to observe the Purdah (Hijab) too even inside the house?

Implantation Bleeding Despite Being pregnant

Islamic du'aah and shaikhs claim that the Islamic 'Iddah of 3 menstrual cycles is correct, while some women have implantation bleeding despite being pregnant, and it is difficult for a woman to differentiate between the periods and the implantation bleeding. Yet despite this rule, traditional Islamic law itself stipulates an 'Iddah of a prisoner/slave woman as only one menstrual cycle, in contradiction to this idea. If parentage were the main issue, the status of the woman (free or slave) should not matter. Also the 'Iddah of a free Muslim woman in the case of Khul' is only one period.[17] Even Muhammad himself slept with Safiyah the same night when her first menstrual blood stopped, after he had murdered her previous husband. Note that Safiyyah was not a slave, but a free woman when Muhammad took her as a wife:

He (the Holy Prophet) then granted Saffiyyah emancipation and married her. Thabit said to him: Abu Hamza, how much dower did he (the Holy Prophet) give to her? He said: He granted her freedom and then married her. On the way Umm Sulaim embellished her and then sent her to him (the Holy Prophet) at night.
Narrated Anas bin Malik: We arrived at Khaibar, and when Allah helped His Apostle to open the fort, the beauty of Safiya bint Huyai bin Akhtaq whose husband had been killed while she was a bride, was mentioned to Allah's Apostle. The Prophet selected her for himself, and set out with her, and when we reached a place called Sidd-as-Sahba,' Safiya became clean from her (first) menses then Allah's Apostle took her into his bed.

There is no Sahih Hadith of the prophet in which he ever mentions the 'Iddah of 3 periods due to any implantation bleeding. Muhammad adopted the practice of 'Iddah from his native Arabian culture. It is in response to modern conceptions of biology and ideals about women's rights that these arguments about parentage have been formulated. But Muslims will fail, as contradictions in Islam will then occur (like Muslims having sex with prisoner/slave women and  while Muhammad had himself sex with Safiyyah after only the first menstrual cycle. They are not based on the actual source material but rather on a desire to make the source material acceptable to a modern audience.

Why no waiting period in name of "mourning" for the captive/slave women?

In spite of the aforementioned claims of concern for the well-being of women, according to traditional Fiqh (Islamic Jurisprudence) Muslim men are allowed to derive sexual pleasures from the virgin girls taken as war booty during Jihad without giving them any 'waiting period' to mourn their dead family members. As far as the non-virgin slaves taken as war booty are concerned, if already have husbands, then vaginal coitus is not allowed till they become free of their first menstrual period, but the Muslim Mujhaahiduun (i.e. warriors) are allowed to undress them the same night and to take all kinds of other sexual pleasures and sexual favors from them aside from vaginal penetration.

وقال عطاء لا بأس أن يصيب من جاريته الحامل ما دون الفرج

Translation:

Atta said: ‘There is no harm to drive sexual pleasure from the body of the pregnant slave/(or prisoner) woman except from vagina’

According to Islamic Scholars, the Fiqh (Jurisprudence) of Imam Bukhari lies in the “Headings of Chapters” of his Book. And Imam Bukhari gave this heading in his book Sahih Bukhari[18]:

Chapter: If one buys a slave woman, can he then take her along with him in a journey without her completing her waiting period?

Under this heading, Imam Bukhari writes:

ولم ير الحسن بأسا أن يقبلها أو يباشرها. وقال ابن عمر ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ إذا وهبت الوليدة التي توطأ أو بيعت أو عتقت فليستبرأ رحمها بحيضة، ولا تستبرأ العذراء. وقال عطاء لا بأس أن يصيب من جاريته الحامل ما دون الفرج.

Translation:

Hasan Basri finds nothing objectionable in kissing a woman or to having sex with her. And Ibn Umar said that such a slave woman who is given as a present, or who is sold, or who is made free, but sex had been done with her before that, then she had to undergo a waiting period. And Atta said if a slave woman had become pregnant (from the earlier owner/husband), then still pleasure could be derived from the whole of her body, except for her vagina.

The sorrow and pain of such women are recorded in Tabari:

Ibn Ishaq said: After the Messenger of God conquered al-Qamus, Safiyyah bint Huyayy was brought to him, and another woman with her. Bilal (a companion), who was the one who brought them, led them past some of the slain Jews. When the woman who was with Safiyyah saw them, she cried out, struck her face, and poured dust on her head. When the Messenger of God saw her, he said, "Take this she-devil away from me!" ... The Messenger of God said to Bilal, when he saw the Jewish woman doing what he saw her do, "Are you devoid of mercy, Bilal, that you take two women past their slain men?"

The clear disregard for the well-being of women presents a conundrum for modern day advocates of these Islamic laws and traditions. On one hand, Islamic law advocates claim that a Muslim woman is not allowed to be wed during 3 periods/months long 'Iddah while she is mentally under stress after the divorce. Yet on the flip side of the coin, by endorsing a tradition with such endorsements of sexual slavery, they ignore any such mental stress for the prisoner women and girls. Far away from the subject of divorce, even after killing all the men of their family, Muslim men are allowed their use sex objects the very same night that their slavery begins. They are provided with no 'waiting period' to come out of their mental stress.

Contrary to Islam, even the laws of the Jewish Bible allowed the prisoner women to mourn their relatives for one complete month, during which men were not allowed to take any other sexual services from them.

יכִּֽי־תֵצֵ֥א לַמִּלְחָמָ֖ה עַל־אֹֽיְבֶ֑יךָ וּנְתָנ֞וֹ יְהֹוָ֧ה אֱלֹהֶ֛יךָ בְּיָדֶ֖ךָ וְשָׁבִ֥יתָ שִׁבְיֽוֹ:

יאוְרָאִ֨יתָ֙ בַּשִּׁבְיָ֔ה אֵ֖שֶׁת יְפַת־תֹּ֑אַר וְחָֽשַׁקְתָּ֣ בָ֔הּ וְלָֽקַחְתָּ֥ לְךָ֖ לְאִשָּֽׁה:

יבוַֽהֲבֵאתָ֖הּ אֶל־תּ֣וֹךְ בֵּיתֶ֑ךָ וְגִלְּחָה֙ אֶת־רֹאשָׁ֔הּ וְעָֽשְׂתָ֖ה אֶת־צִפָּֽרְנֶֽיהָ:

יגוְהֵסִ֩ירָה֩ אֶת־שִׂמְלַ֨ת שִׁבְיָ֜הּ מֵֽעָלֶ֗יהָ וְיָֽשְׁבָה֙ בְּבֵיתֶ֔ךָ וּבָֽכְתָ֛ה אֶת־אָבִ֥יהָ וְאֶת־אִמָּ֖הּ יֶ֣רַח יָמִ֑ים וְאַ֨חַר כֵּ֜ן תָּב֤וֹא אֵלֶ֨יהָ֙ וּבְעַלְתָּ֔הּ וְהָֽיְתָ֥ה לְךָ֖ לְאִשָּֽׁה:

ידוְהָיָ֞ה אִם־לֹ֧א חָפַ֣צְתָּ בָּ֗הּ וְשִׁלַּחְתָּהּ֙ לְנַפְשָׁ֔הּ וּמָכֹ֥ר לֹֽא־תִמְכְּרֶ֖נָּה בַּכָּ֑סֶף לֹֽא־תִתְעַמֵּ֣ר בָּ֔הּ תַּ֖חַת אֲשֶׁ֥ר עִנִּיתָֽהּ:

Marrying a Captive Woman

(10) When you go to war against your enemies and the Lord your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives,

(11) if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife.

(12) Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails

(13) and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife.

(14) If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.

In creating these new rulings around taking the sexual pleasure of female sex slaves, Islamic law rejected the law of the Bible in this case, and more closely followed the laws of the pagan Arab society of the time of Muhammad, as it benefitted the Muslims financially and they were free to seek sexual pleasures through the prisoner women the same night.

References