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'''‘Iddah (i.e. waiting period)'''


‘Iddah<ref>In Islam, '''''iddah''''' or '''''iddat''''' (Arabic: العدة‎; ''period of waiting'') is the period a woman must observe after the death of her husband or after a divorce, during which she may not marry another man.[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iddah]</ref> (waiting period) of different kind of women in Islam is as under:
'''<u><big>Remarriage to Ex-Spouse after the Divorce</big></u>'''


* '''A widow woman''': Waiting period is 4 months and 10 days
According to Islam, if a man divorces his wife thrice, then he could not directly remarry her. But if the divorced woman marries another man, and he divorces her or dies, after that she is allowed to remarry her first husband. This ruling has been directly mentioned in Quran. {{Quote|{{Quran|2|230}}|If a man divorces her again (a third time), she becomes unlawful for him (and he cannot remarry her) until she has married another man. Then if he divorces her there is no harm if the two unite again (by remarrying)}}This affects the whole family, but especially women and the children are affected from it.
* '''A pregnant woman''': Waiting period is up to 9 months (till the birth of the baby)
* '''A divorced woman''': Waiting period is 3 menstrual cycles. (However, Islam critics point out that actually she will not get the attention and love and emotional help from any man for 6 menstrual cycles. The first 3 menstrual cycles are the process of Divorce, in which she could not leave the husband's house, and her husband does not touch her. And after divorce, again she has to stay in the waiting period of 3 more menstrual cycles with many restrictions, especially to come in contact with any man. She stays practically in this situation for about 6 months).


Muslim Scholars claim that [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharia Islamic Sharia] rulings are based upon logic, wisdom, justice and the best interests of the humankind, and they protect the women against the gender oppression and misogyny, while the man made laws of the modern Western world have contradictions, which leads to the sexual exploitation of the women.
This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time of Ignorance, and Islam adopted it from there (along with the other related practices like only husband had the right to divorce, and the system of 3 divorces etc).  


While Islam critics object the logic and wisdom behind all these restrictions in 'Iddah, where only the women had to suffer unilaterally.  
The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake.
==This was the practice of the pre-Islamic era Arabs==
This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time.  


=== Muslim Excuse: ‘Iddah is necessary in order to keep the ‘parentage’ of the child safe. ===
Actually, the whole "system" of pre-Islamic era consisted of<ref>[https://religion.asianindexing.com/index.php?title=Al-Idah/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A8_%D8%B9%DB%81%D8%AF_%D8%AC%D8%A7%DB%81%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%AA_%D9%85%DB%8C%DA%BA_%E2%80%99%E2%80%99%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82%E2%80%98%E2%80%98_%DA%A9%D8%A7_%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%88%D8%B1:_%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%82%DB%8C_%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A6%D8%B2%DB%81&mobileaction=toggle_view_desktop Divorce during the pre-Islamic era of Arab.]</ref>:
But this Muslim excuse is illogical and not correct, while:


* Becoming free of blood of the first menstrual cycle is enough to know if the woman is pregnant or not, and about the “parentage” of the child.
#Only husband had the right to give divorce, while the women didn't have this right.
* That is why Islam itself stipulated the ‘Iddah (waiting peirod) of only first menstrual cycle for the prisoner woman, slave woman, and a free Muslim woman who enters into an Islamic State from and non-Muslim country.  
#The 3 Talaqs (divorces) system<ref>[https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Women_in_Islamic_Law#Triple-talaq Triple-Talaq]</ref> i.e. Husband was allowed to take his wife back till 2 divorces. But after the 3rd divorce, he was not allowed to take her back.
* After this first menstrual cycle, Muslim men are allowed to have sex with them.  
#But if he desired her even after the 3rd Talaq, then she had to first marry another man, and after the divorce from the 2nd husband, she could return to her former husband.
* Muhammad himself had sex with Saffiyah the same night, when in the day her father, brother and husband was killed, while she became free from blood of her first mentraul cycle the same day (Reference: Sahih Bukharii).  


<br />
The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake. {{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20211219162614/https://al-maktaba.org/book/7299/3369 Dr. Jawad Ali, in his book "Detailed in the history of the Arabs before Islam" كتاب المفصل فى تاريخ العرب قبل الإسلام [جواد علي] ]|ويظهر أن الجاهليين كانوا قد أوجدوا حلًّا لهذا الطلاق الشاذ، فأباحوا للزوج أن يرجع زوجه إليه بعد الطلاق الثالث، ولكن بشرط أن تتزوج بعد وقوع الطلاق الثالث من رجل غريب، على أن يطلقها بعد اقترانها به، وعندئذ يجوز للزوج الأول أن يعود إليها بزوج جديد.</br>It is apparent that the people from the era of Ignorance found a way to make their wives permissible (Halal) for them even after 3 divorces. Therefore, if the husband wanted to take her back, then that woman had to marry a stranger man on the condition that he would divorce her later. After this process had been completed (i.e. the divorce from the stranger), then the first husband was allowed to remarry her.}}
Later, Islam also adopted whole of this system of the pre-Islamic era (i.e. only husband having the right to divorce + 3 Divorces + the ruling of wife having to marry another man before returning to the 1st husband). 


== '''Long ‘waiting periods’ is not the only Injustice, but Allah/Muhammad put other oppressive and illogical “RESTRICTIONS” too''' ==
Islam added another extra condition to this pre-Islamic era practice i.e. no contract of divorce could be made at the time of marriage with the 2nd man<ref>[https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:9I3RzrTPfxEJ:https://www.aliftaa.jo/QuestionEn.aspx%3FQuestionId%3D2813+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=de No contract of divorce could be made at the time of marriage in Islam.] </ref>. This means, if the 2nd husband likes her, then he could keep her for himself. It was intended to make the punishment even more "severe".  
Long waiting periods are not the only oppression she has to face, but Allah/Muhammad went further, and they also put other unnecessary and illogical restrictions upon her in order to make her life more difficult and miserable.
<br />


=== First Restriction: She has to obligatorily stay only in the house of Husband during ‘Iddah ===
The logic was to compel the husband to think more carefully before giving the 3rd divorce, and it was also a warning for a woman to solve the dispute, and to make her husband happy before he divorces her the 3rd time. 


* She has to stay ONLY in the house of her husband during this whole period.
Nevertheless, this extra condition brought even more miseries upon the Muslim women as compared to the women of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance. Also, the children were also more affected.  
* What does that have to do with the ‘parentage’ of the child where she lives after the death of her husband?
* Why could she not spend the waiting period in the house of her parents, where she feels comfortable and where she is among the people who love her? While in the house of her husband, she could be all alone, and she has to live like she is in a Solitary confinement. This  restriction is unnecessary and makes absolutely no sense.
* Moreover, it could be a huge mental torture for many women to live for 4 long months in the house where their husband died. But Allah/Muhammad do not realize this simple thing and they put women under huge pressure unnecessarily.
* And in the case of a pregnant widow, it could be a period of up to 9 long months, where she has a baby in her belly, and she is alone in solitary confinement in the house where her husband died.  


<br />
==The time period for solving the disputes in the Islamic 3 Talaqs System==
There are 2 ways of giving 3 Talaqs in Islam. 


=== Second Restriction: She has to stay in the husband’s house, even if it doesn’t belong to him, or even if he hasn’t left any maintenance money for the wife ===
#A husband gives 3 Talaqs (i.e. divorces) to his wife in one sitting i.e. if he says "Talaq, Talaq, Talaq" (i.e. 3 times Talaq) to his wife at the same time<ref>[https://islamqa.org/hanafi/askmufti/44814/three-divorces-in-one-sitting/ Three Talaqs in one sitting.] </ref>, then the final irrevocable divorce takes place within seconds.
This is unbelievable.
#A husband gives the 1st Talaq (divorce) after the wife becomes free of her monthly bleeding. Then he gives the 2nd after the 2nd menstrual bleeding. These first 2 Talaqs (divorces) are reversible and he could took her back. But if he also divorces her the 3rd time after the third menstrual bleeding, then it becomes the irrevocable divorce<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/222367/what-is-tahleel-marriage Quranic way of giving divorce.]</ref>. This procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time.


Sunnan Abu Dawud, Book of Divorce:<blockquote>Furay'ah said that she came to the Messenger of Allah and asked him whether she could return to her people, Banu Khidrah, for her husband went out seeking his slaves who ran away. When they met him at al-Qudum, they murdered him.
In the first case, if a husband pronounces 3 divorces at once in anger, then there is absolutely no time left to solve the disputes. The whole family is destroyed within seconds.  


So I asked the Messenger of Allah: "Should I return to my people, '''for he did not leave any dwelling house of his own and maintenance for me'''?
In the 2nd case, the procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time. '''Nevertheless, still there is no guarantee that the dispute between the husband and the wife is going to be over within 3 months.''' Some people, sometimes need some more time to learn their lessons than the 3 months.


She said: The Messenger of Allah replied: Yes. She said: I came out, and when I was in the apartment or in the mosque, he called for me, or he commanded (someone to call me) and, therefore, I was called.
==Why a divorced Muslim couple still wants to reunite?==
===First Reason: The couple still love each other, despite the temporary anger and dispute===
A divorce may occur due to many reasons (like temporary anger, inexperience of the young couple to solve their disputes, or family pressure, or financial situation etc.).  


He said: what did you say? So I repeated my story which I had already mentioned about my husband.
But all these factors could change with time, and they may be able to solve their dispute later.  


'''Thereupon he said: Stay in your house till the term (of four months and 10 days) lapses.'''
Nevertheless, problem occurs for the divorced Muslim couples that they don't have any chance to correct their mistake later, and to reunite due to this Islamic ruling.  


She said: So I passed my waiting period in it (her house) for four months and ten days. When Uthman ibn Affan became caliph, he sent for me and asked me about that; so I informed him, '''and he followed it and decided cases accordingly'''.</blockquote>This is simply the Peak of illogicality.  
===Second Reason: Preserving the family life for their children===
In case of irrevocable divorce, both the partners have to live separately, and thus the children are also separated either from the father or from the mother.  


How is she going to pay the rent of the house?
In both cases, the family life of the children is destroyed.


Why is she compelled to bear the expenses of her daily needs on her own, while her family could take care of it easily if she stays in the house of her parents/brothers/sisters.
Therefore, for the sake of their children, the divorced couples often wish to reunite later.
<br />


=== Third Restriction: She could not leave the house even for daily walks, or visit the relatives or attend any social gathering ===
But again, due to this Islamic Ruling, the divorced couple get's no chance to correct their mistake and to reunite for the sake of their children.  
Women are human beings. They thus also need to entertain themselves buy going out in the parks, and daily walks, and shopping, and eating in restaurants, attending the parties, sleeping at her parents house, visiting her relatives etc.  


But Allah/Muhammad prohibited for a woman from all this. And what to talk about the social gatherings, she could not even attend the funeral of her parents (Link):<blockquote>'''Q:''' Is a woman allowed to visit family members like her parents or sisters if she is observing iddat and use the excuse that she will be with her family so she doesn’t  see the problem?
==Women especially feel themselves compelled to reunite with their ex-husbands==
Another Islamic Ruling stipulates that<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210606140409/https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/182019/why-a-wife-loses-custody-of-her-children-in-case-she-remarries Woman looses the custody of children if she remarries. www.Islamweb.net Fatwa Site.] </ref>:


'''A:''' A woman who has been divorced is not allowed to leave the confines of her home during the iddat for whatever reason, '''be it to visit friends or relatives or to attend the funeral of even her parents.'''</blockquote>She could also not go outside for daily walks, as they are not a necessity (Fatwa 1, Fatwa 2).  
*A woman will lose all of her children and they are separated from her if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband).
<br />
*Islamic Logic is that all the time of the wife (except of the prayers) belongs to the new husband. He could call her for sexual enjoyment at any time. But if children from the first husband are still there, then it hampers the right of 2nd husband to enjoy her. Thus, the children should be separated from her if she decides to remarry another person.


=== Fourth Restriction: She could not even use collyrium/kohl in eyes despite eye disease, while it beautifies her ===
In an Islamic society, it is very difficult for a woman to survive alone. She has to face a lot of restrictions (like taking Hijab and not to make interaction with men). Thus, her life becomes really difficult to go outside of house, and then to find a good job, and then to work whole day there, and at the same time to look after her small children at home too. Thus, the easiest way for a divorced woman to survive in an Islamic society, is to remarry and get the financial support from the 2nd husband.
Although a woman is allowed to take medical care during ‘Iddah, still she should not use collyrium/kohl as a cure even against any eye disease, while it beautifies her.  


Sahih Bukhari, Book of Divorce:<blockquote>Um Salama said that a woman came to Allah's Messenger and said, "O Allah's Messenger ! The husband of my daughter has died and she is suffering from an eye disease. Can she apply  collyrium/kohl to her eye?" Allah's Messenger replied, "No," twice or thrice. (Every time she repeated her question) he said, "No."</blockquote><br />
Thus, all the divorced Muslim mothers are badly affected and they are in a hard rock and hard place. They are practically "compelled" to choose one of the following options below:


=== Fifth Restriction: Women are not allowed to use good clothes, jewelry, perfume, Henna and comb the hairs with only leaves of lote-tree ===
#Their first option is to choose to stay with their children. But then they could not marry another man, and they have to give away their natural need of being loved by a man, and the financial support of a man, which is very much needed in an Islamic society.
Mishkat al-Masabih 3333:<blockquote>Umm Salama said: God’s Messenger came to visit me when Abu Salama died, and I had put the juice of aloes on myself. He asked me what it was, and I told him it was only the juice of aloes and contained no perfume, so he said, “It gives the face a glow, so apply it only at night and remove it in the daytime, and do not comb yourself with scent or henna, for it is a dye.” I asked God’s Messenger what I should use when combing myself, and he told me to use lote-tree leaves and smear my head copiously with them.
#Their second option is to marry another man of their choice, in order to get the financial support and love from him. But the evil for them in this option is that all their children will be separated from them. And it is one of the most horrible thing for any mother to loose any or all of her children.
#Their third option is to remarry their ex-husband. In this case, they will get the financial support and love of a man, and children will also not be separated from her. Even if the she does not love the first husband, still getting the "financial support" from him along with the option of separation from her children is enough reason for her to wish to reunite with the former husband.


Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani declared this Hadith to be FAIR (حسن) (link).</blockquote><br />
This is one of the main reason why Muslim women are very harshly and unilaterally hit by divorce, and they may feel themselves strongly compelled to return to their first husband (even if these women were totally innocent, and it was the fault of their husbands to divorce them). This is the "Only Chance" available for a Muslim woman in Islam to have a complete family life (which includes husband and her children).  


=== Sixth Restriction: She should give up her Natural needs of getting any emotional support and attention and love from any other partner during the ‘Iddah ===
==Combination of This Ruling + Wife Beating + Wife not having the right to get her freedom through divorce==
Need of sex is not only limited to men, but it is a natural need of woman too. But Allah/Muhammad does not recognise this right and natural need of a woman, and they have limited it to the man only. Thus, a woman is not allowed to have sex with any partner for this long period of time of ‘Iddah.  
This Islamic Ruling does not affect the woman's life alone, but it works in combination of two other Islamic ruling (i..e Wife beating + A wife does not have the right to take divorce).  


But sex is not the only problem, while divorce or death of husband also comes with extreme Emotional Stress for the woman. This is exactly the time when she needs emotional support from a caring partner the most, who could give attention to her, talk with her and give her love, so that she feels herself “secure” in his arms.  
The combination of all three of them in action is found in the following Hadith:{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5825|darussalam}}|Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband '''and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by severe beating)'''. It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, `Aisha said, ''' "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women (i.e. men were not beating their wives so brutally during the era of ignorance as they beat after Islam). Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" '''When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but '''he is impotent''' and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient '''and wants to go back to Rifa`a (i.e. the first husband)'''." Allah's Apostle said, to her,''' "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you'''." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"}}


But Allah/Muhammad deprived her exactly from this emotional support and security too.  
===Why this Sahabaia lady (i.e. female companion) made false slander of impotency against her 2nd husband?===
<br />
From the Hadith of wife of Rifa`a, it is clear that either this Sahabia lady (i.e. female companion) was telling a lie about the impotency of her husband (and that too in front of Prophet Muhammad himself), or her 2nd husband was telling a lie when he claimed to not to be impotent.


=== Seventh Restriction: She could not secure herself and her children financially through relationship with any partner in the ‘Iddah ===
Muhammad later declared that female companion to be a lair, while her 2nd husband already had 2 sons from another wife.
We have seen the Hadith above of Furay'ah, that she had to stay in the waiting period in the house of her deceased husband, even though he had left no maintenance money for her.


And women in Islamic society are poorly educated. And Islamic society also does not provide women with job opportunities too, but she has to face so many hurdles in doing a job outside.
So, what compelled that female companion to come up with this lie of impotency of her husband? 


The best bet for such a divorced/widow woman (even if she is pregnant) is to get another partner and get herself and her children financially secured in this way.  
Answer is, in case of impotency, she had a chance to get her freedom through an Islamic court. Here you could read about these rare cases, where an Islamic court could give freedom to the women through [https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Khul%27#Faskh_.D9.81.D8.B3.D8.AE_.28i.e._dissolution_of_marriage.29.2C_and_the_unilateral_women.27s_sufferings: Faskh (i.e. dissolution of marriage)].


But Allah/Muhammad also completely  blocked woman this opportunity too.  
===Risks involved for the Muslim woman in the 2nd marriage:===
This hadith of the wife of Rifa`a also makes clear about the huge risks and the severe consequences that a woman could face in case of marriage with the 2nd husband.  


Neither other men are allowed to see her, nor to meet her and decide if they could come into the relationship, nor they could make any proposal to them.  
Even if a woman marries with the intention of divorce to the 2nd man, still there is a huge risk for her that  the 2nd husband would not grant her freedom by giving her divorce as it is solely his right according to Islam. A Muslim woman could not get her freedom even through [[Khul']] in Islam, as Khul' is also the right of the husband in Islam and no Islamic court could compel him to set her free.  


She is all alone during the ‘Iddah period to financially secure herself and her children.  
Even more risk is involved for her that Islam also allows the 2nd husband to beat her severely in order to make her submissive, so that she provides him with the sex-services properly.  
<br />


=== Muslim Excuse: Strict 'restrictions' are placed upon the divorced woman during the 'Iddah due to the danger of sin ===
This beating could be so severe that she could even get the bruises all over her body. Even 'Aisha was complaining and testifying that the women in the pre-Islamic era were not beaten so brutally, as the Muslim women were being beaten by their Muslim husbands.
This excuse is also illogical, while:


* If normal Muslim women (or even the virgin Muslim girls) are allowed to go outside to entertain themselves in the Parks, and for picnic, and attend the social gatherings, and visit their relatives, and sleep in their parent's home, and attend the funerals of their parents and they don't indulge into sin, why then a divorced woman will indulge in the sin for doing these same things?
===Love and desire to reunite with the first husband is "natural" despite the irrevocable divorce===
* And if normal Muslim women (or even the virgin Muslim girls) are allowed to use the Kohl in their eyes, and parfum, and comb their hairs, and use the jewelry, and to wear good clothes, and use henna, or to wash their faces with Aloe, and still they don't indulge into sin, why then a divorced woman will indulge in the sin for doing the same thing?
This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves that love is natural, and desire to return to him is also natural and no irrevocable divorce could end this love and desire.


<br />
And if a Sahabia (female companion) lady was unable to control over her love and desire for the 1st husband, and if she was ready to come up with false slanders to achieve her desire, then it could not be expected from the women of today to not to love their ex-husbands and not to make such false moves in order to achieve their true desires.


=== Muhammad copied this illogical practice of ‘Iddah from the pre-Islamic period of so-called Ignorance ===
===Two houses and two families are going to be destroyed due to the restriction upon the love===
Muhammad copied this ‘Iddah from the culture of people of Pre-Islam period of so-called ignorance.
This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves if religion is going to curb the love, and even succeeds in compelling her to marry another man, then still two families are going to be destroyed.  


Just check the brainless logic of Muhammad for putting all these oppressive restrictions upon the woman in the name of ‘Iddah, where he told them to not to complaint against the Islamic Iddah, while they had to stay even longer in ‘Iddah during the pre-Islamic days.  
The house of first husband is going to be destroyed, while the children are without the mother. And the house of 2nd husband is going to be destroyed while there is no peace there and this house becomes the the center of beating of the woman.


Sahih Bukhari, Book of Divorce:<blockquote>Um Salama said that a woman came to Allah's Messenger and said, "O Allah's Messenger ! The husband of my daughter has died and she is suffering from an eye disease. Can she apply  collyrium/kohl to her eye?" Allah's Messenger replied, "No," twice or thrice. (Every time she repeated her question) he said, "No." '''Then Allah's Messenger added, "It is just a matter of four months and ten days. In the Pre-Islamic Period of ignorance a widow among you should throw a globe of dung when one year has elapsed (i.e. she had to stay in ‘Iddah for the whole one year)."'''</blockquote><br />
Therefore, it is not only the woman, but the children and the whole two families are going to pay the price of this restriction.


== '''Muslim Excuse about the ‘Iddah of a widow women''' ==
==Halala (Tahleel Marriage)==
This long ‘Iddah of 4 months and 10 days of a widow has nothing to do with the parentage of the child, while:
In Halala (or Tahleel Marriage), the 2nd marriage tooks place with the intention of later giving divorce to the woman, so that she could become lawful (Halal) for her former husband to marry her again. 


* It is  possible to be determined even at time of the first menstrual cycle.
There is a difference of opinion in different Fiqhs regarding the 2nd marriage with the intention of divorce<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/222367/what-is-tahleel-marriage Intention of Divorce makes Tahleel Marriage invalid. Islamqa.com]</ref> 
* A virgin wife, i.e. the one who hasn't moved out to her husband house, and has never seen him, must also undergo the 'Iddah of 4 months and 10 days.  
* And a wife who hasn't seen her husband for years, should also undergo the sufferings of 'Iddah for this long period.  


The only excuse which has been presented by Muslims for this long waiting period is that she should “'''MOURN'''” the death of her husband.  
*Hanafi and Shafi'i Fiqhs allow a woman to marry a 2nd man with the 'intention' of taking divorce later, and to remarry her first husband. That is why, we see 'Halala Centers' in the Islamic countries, and even in the western countries too where Muslim population resides.
*While Hanbali and Maliki Fiqhs don't allow such marriage with the intention of later taking Talaq. In this case, practically all the doors are shut for a woman to reunite her children and the former husband.


 
==References:==
'''Double Standards of Allah/Muhammad:'''
<references />
 
Are you able to see these Double Standards, where:
 
* There is no obligation of any “mourning” upon a man if the wife dies.
* And he is totally free to marry a new wife the same day.
* And he is also totally free to have sex with his other wives and dozens of slave girls the same night, and there is no restriction upon him in name of ‘mourning’.
* But only the woman is compelled to ‘mourn’ the death of her husband.
* She is deprived of her Natural Needs in the name of ‘mourning’.
* And simple mourning was not enough, but Allah/Muhammad put a lot more of other oppressive restrictions too upon her in name of ‘mourning’.
 
 
Moreover, please also consider the following cases, and tell us why she should obligatorily mourn his death.
 
* What if she hardly saw him after the marriage, while he had other wives and slave girls, or if died immediately after the marriage? Thus why should she mourn if she feels no emotional connection and love for him in her heart?
* What if the husband was abusive and he tortured her when he was alive, and thus she HATED him?` Remember a woman does not have a right to get her freedom even through Khul’ if an abusive husband does not agree upon it. Not even a court could compel him to give her Divorce or Khul’ despite torturing her brutally and even if she gets bruises over her skin all over her body. Court could only compel him for Khul’ if he breaks any bone or part of wife’s body during the torture session (Please read our Khul’ article for the details). So, why should she still obligatorily mourn such an abusive husband?
 
This is absolutely cruel to still compel the woman for such a long obligatorily waiting period, with so many inhumane restrictions, where she is in a solitary confinement like situation.
 
 
Therefore, Islam could have left it upon the woman:
 
* That she could decide for herself if she loved her deceased husband or not.
* That she decides herself to mourn his death or not.
* That she decides how long she wants to mourn, and when she is ready for the new relationship.
* That she decides if living in her deceased husband’s house is causing her unnecessary mental stress or not.
* That she decides for herself if she needs the help and love of her parents and family or not by staying with them.
 
Why does Allah/Muhammad consider a woman a “'''Brainless Creature'''”, who is unable to even decide for the matters which are only related to her and her personal life?
<br />
 
== '''Injustice upon the Pregnant woman in name of ‘Iddah''' ==
According to the Quran, the waiting period of a pregnant woman is till the Birth of a child (Quran 65:4).
 
And then Muhammad further told the '''Scientific LOGIC''' behind this Quranic order:
 
Sunnan Abu Dawud, Book of Marriage:<blockquote>The Messenger of Allah said: It is not lawful for a man who believes in Allah and the last day '''to water what another has sown with his water (meaning intercourse with a woman who is pregnant from her previous husband)'''.</blockquote>But this is a Scientific Mistake from Allah/Muhammad.
 
Science is very clear if woman has already become pregnant, then other man could do as much sex as possible, but his sperms are not going to have any effects upon the fetus (i.e. he is not going to water the fetus from previous man). No DNA changes are going to take place in the fetus due to the sex. These were the concepts of times of ignorance, and Allah/Muhammad were also prey of those ignorant and wrong concepts. Muhammad took this concept from the Jews.
 
But once again the poor pregnant woman has to bear the consequences of this ignorance of Allah/Muhammad.
 
* The pregnant woman is alone after the death of her husband, and she is financially very weak.
* What if the deceased husband has left no money for her and the baby?
* And it is impossible for her to go to work outside while carrying the baby in her belly.
* A woman is in a state of extreme emotion during the pregnancy. This is the time when she needs emotional support the most from a partner, who could take care of her.
* But Allah/Muhammad made her helpless and compelled her exactly in this hard time to lead a solitary confinement like life.
* She is compelled to face this difficult stage till birth of the baby alone.
 
 
In principle:  
 
* A pregnant woman should not go for ‘Iddah of even a single day, while the parentage of the child is already known due to her pregnancy.
* If husband could divorce such a pregnant woman and then start having sex with dozens of other slave girls and wives, why then should the poor pregnant woman be deprived of the emotional support and love and attention and care of the new partner, in a hard time when she needs these things the most?
 
<br />
 
== '''Injustice upon the divorced woman in name of ‘Iddah''' ==
Please note:
 
* The whole process of Divorce + ‘Iddah lasts for 6 menstrual cycles for a divorced woman.
* Muslim man forces her to lead a life of solitary confinement in his house for the 3 menstrual cycle during the process of 3 Talaqs.
* He does not touch her during this period, but he is free to have sex with other wives and slave girlst during all this time.
* And after the divorce, she again has to undergo a waiting period of 3 more menstrual cycles. But why? There is no logic behind it. There is no issue of parentage of the child either, while her husband didn’t touch her for the last 3 cycles. And there is no option of reunion of both of them after the divorce, till the time she undergoes the Quranic Halala. So, why is the poor woman then still forced to undergo solitary confinement for 3 more months in the name of ‘Iddah?
 
 
Muslim answer to this by saying:
 
* She was ‘alone’ with her previous husband under one roof during the process of 3 Talaqs.
* And the WITNESSES of man and woman are not accepted in Islam that they didn’t have sex during this period.
* Being ‘alone’ under one roof is enough in Islam, to force the woman to undergo the waiting period, in order to determine if she is pregnant or not, and thus to make the parentage of the child safe.
 
 
But this Muslim answer makes absolutely no sense, while:
 
* If the witness of ONLY man is accepted in the process of Talaq (i.e. he didn’t touch her for the last 3 menstrual cycles), and he gets her divorced on the bases of his single witness, why then the witnesses of BOTH the Man and Woman are rejected when they testify that they didn’t have the sex for the last 3 mentrual cycles, and thus she is not pregnant, and thus she does not need any further ‘Iddah in name of parentage of the child?
* As compared to the rejection of witnesses of these 2 Free Adult Muslim Man and Woman, this same Islam allows the man to start having sex with the slave woman of another person, on the bases of singular testimony of the slave-girl that she is not pregnant. Fatawa Alamgiri, vol 3, page 268, Urdu edition (link): ''A Singular Report is enough on religious issues. Therefore, if a slave woman comes to any person and tells him that her master has gifted her to him, then that person could trust the testimony of that slave-girl and have sex with her.''
* And lastly, even one menstrual cycle is enough to know if she is pregnant or not (just like the prisoner/slave woman). Why then she still had to undergo the 3 menstrual cycles long waiting period? This again makes no sense.
* And why should she not use perfume and make-up and make herself attractive to other men, as there is no option of returning to previous husband without the Halala?
 
 
Moreover, Islamic ruling of 'Iddah is also illogical in the following cases for the divorced woman:
 
* A wife who hasn't seen her husband for years, should also undergo the sufferings of 'Iddah.
* A minor girl (who has not started to menstruate), why then does she also have to undergo the waiting period of 3 months as she couldn't even get pregnant?
* Similarly, an old woman could also not get pregnant, why then does also have to undergo the solitary confinement of ‘Iddah?
 
<br />
 
=== Muslim claim: 'Iddah is necessary while a women is emotionally disturbed after the divorce ===
An Islam apologist wrote:<blockquote>"The last thing on a woman's mind after she has got divorced is intimacy. She is mentally disturbed and needs time to come out of this shock"</blockquote>'''Answer''':
 
The answer is simple:
 
* i.e. to let the women decide for themselves. If they don't have wish, then no one should force them into any relationship.
* If they wish to not to enter into the new relationship, then what to talk about 3 menstrual cycles of 'Iddah, they could stay out of any new relationship for an year or longer as they wish.
* But if they wish otherwise, and decide to enter into a new relationship just after the divorce, then no one should stop them. There could be many women for whom divorce is not a mental shock, but divorce is a form of  freedom for them and it is a ''''mental relief'''<nowiki/>' for them to come out of abusive relationship.
* Why Islam forcefully imposes itself upon the masses, killing the wishes and the right of self-determination of millions of women.
* Wy Mr. Religion thinks that women are ''''brainless Creatures'''<nowiki/>' who could not even decide for their personal lives?
* It would become double standards of Islam if it considers that men are not mentally disturbed from Talaq, and thus have the right to decide for themselves to have sex with multiple other slave women or wives the same night, or to take marry another wife same night, but only women are unable to decide for themselves.
 
 
Moreover:
 
* Islam itself allowed the pregnant woman to deliver a child after divorce (be it only few hours), and then immediately wed to another man. This proves that Islam itself doesn't consider that all women are necessarily mentally stressed, or emotionally attached with the previous husbands despite the divorce.
* Muhammad himself married Saffiyah the same night, when in the day her husband was killed, and Muhammad didn't care if she was mentally stressed or emotionally attached with her husband.  
 
<br />
 
== Not only ‘Iddah, but the process of Islamic Talaq is itself is an Injustice against the woman ==
Not only the ‘Iddah is cruel, but itself the Islamic process of 3 menstrual cycles long “Talaq” is an oppression and great injustice against the woman:
 
* Muslims claim that a woman has to stay in the house of husband for 3 menstrual cycles, while this could provide them with the chance to have a '''‘settlement’'''.
* But what if the husband is an abusive evil person? What if he tortures her all this period without any reason? What if he beats her so wildly that she gets bruises all over her body? (Note: According to Islam, even courts could not compel him to divorce her on the bases of bruises on her body. Even if he exceeds the limits and breaks any part of her body, still she will not get her freedom automatically, but at least in this case courts could ask her to pay her “ransom money” and then separate from that abusive man).
* Only the woman is forced to sacrifice in the name of so-called “Settlement” in this Islamic Talaq process, as she could not even visit her parents and she is in solitary confinement alone. While the husband has to bring no sacrifice. He is free to have sex with all other wives and slave girls, and to visit his relatives and do whatever he wants.
 
 
Moreover:
 
* Is there any guarantee that this dispute between husband and wife is going to resolve in 3 months time of Talaq process?
* Is it not possible that it may take more than 3 months that both of them come back in their senses and end the dispute after this period? For example, a man comes back to his senses after 1 years, and realises that it was a mistake to divorce his wife and she was totally innocent. Then what are the options available there to undo this mistake?  The answer is, there are NO more options available, while she could not return to him without undergoing the shameful process of Halala. In simple words, there is absolutely no ''''wisdom'''<nowiki/>' in this so called divine ruling.
 
 
Moreover:
 
* Islam compels the woman to stay in the house of husband during the process of Talaq.
* While it has been seen that in case of disputes, it could also be helpful that both parties take a break from each other and live separately for some period of time.
* This provides both parties with chance to ponder upon, and to learn from their mistakes in a better way and they realise their mistakes in a better way.
* When wife has to face the difficulties in living in house of her parents or brothers/sisters, then she realises quickly the importance of house of her husband. And when husband has to do all the work in the house alone, and has to take care of the children alone too, then he also realises his mistake quickly.
* But Islam closed this option for them by ordering the woman for not leaving the husband's house even in case of serious disputes.
 
<br />
 
=== Pronouncing 3 Talaqs in one sitting is also illogical and great Injustice towards the woman ===
Another way of divorce in Islam is when a mone says three times Talaq in one sitting. But again it is illogical and unjust, while:
 
* Only may is allowed to give Talaq in this way. Why these double standards? Answer is this that Allah/Muhammad consider woman a "Brainless Creature", who is emotionally unstable and thus does not take her own decisions regarding her own personal life.
* And this Talaq becomes valid even if the wife was totally innocent, and he only pronounced 3 Talaqs in '''ANGER'''. Yes, although Islam considers only women as emotionally unstable, but the reality is this that men could also become totally emotionally unstable, especially in the state of Anger and they are capable of doing every kind of stupid things, including killing others.
* What type of '''Divine Wisdom''' is this, then to give right to such emotionally unstable men in anger to divorce their wives in 3 seconds, by saying 3 times Talaq Talaq Talaq?
* The consequences of such 3 times Talaq in anger has to be bear by the poor innocent wife, where her whole family is destroyed and she may loose her children too.
* And despite being totally innocent, again only she is forced to undergo the shameful process of Halala too, if she wishes to reunite with here family (i.e. husband and the children).  Is it really that giving rights with Justice to the woman by Islam about which Muslims boast, as compared to the evil "Equal" rights to the women in the West?
 
<br />
 
=== Blackmailing the woman in name of so-called ‘Settlement’ in the Talaq Process ===
While only the woman suffers during the process of Islamic Talaq, thus it works as a weapon in hands of  an abusive husband, to blackmail the her unjustly, and to usurp her rights by compelling her to give up her rights. <blockquote>(Quran 4:128-129) And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of '''settlement''' between them (i.e. woman agrees upon leaving some of her rights) … And you will never be able to do Justice (Arabic: '''تَعْدِلُوْا''') between wives, even if you should strive [to do so].</blockquote>Are you able to see the contradiction? Previously, in the verse 4:3, the writer of Quran put the condition of ‘ADL (i.e. Justice) for having more than one wife.<blockquote>(Quran 4:3) If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.</blockquote>But later Allah/Muhammad allowed the husband to blackmail the wife by threatening her with divorce, and showing contempt and evasion and thus compelling her to give away her rights in the name of settlement. Thus, the condition of Justice was abrogated for the so-called settlement which is always going in favor of the husband while he controls the right of giving divorce.
 
Muhammad himself threatened his wife Sawdah with Talaq (while she was older in age as compared to the other wives of Muhammad). Thus under this blackmailing, Sawadah started weeping and she came to ‘Aisha’s house and told Muhammad that she was ready to give her TURN To ‘Aisaha, but Muhammad should not make her homeless by divorcing her in that old age.  Remember, Sawdah served Muhammad the longest, and in the most difficult times. Still this didn’t stop Muhammad to usurp her right of turn.
<br />
 
=== Muslim Excuse: Some women keep on bleeding for three months after conceiving ===
Muslim come up with this excuse that some women keep on bleeding for three months even after conceiving, and thus Islamic ruling of 3 months of 'Iddah in case of divorce is correct.
 
Firstly:
 
* Laws and rules are made on the bases of "Generality", and not on the bases of "Exceptions".
* Islam itself does not accepts this "exceptional" incidents for making the "general laws".
* Therefore, Islam itself made a law that the 'Iddah of a prisoner/slave woman is only one menstrual cycle.
 
Muslims try to come up with this next excuse that ''''status'''<nowiki/>' of slave woman is not equal to the the status of the free woman, and thus Islam is correct to extend the 'Iddah of free woman to 3 months in case of divorce. But this excuse becomes illogical while:
 
* This issue is not about the 'status' of slave woman or the free woman, but the issue is about the ''''parentage'''<nowiki/>' of the child, which stays the same in both cases.
* And even the 'Iddah of free Muslim woman in Islam in case of Khul' is only one menstrual cycle (link).
* And also the 'Iddah of free Muslim woman who leaves her non-Muslim husband in the non-Islamic country, and enters into an Islamic state, is also only one menstrual cycle.
* And Muhammad himself slept with Saffiyyah the same night when her first menstrual blood stopped. Note that Saffiyyah was not a slave, but a free woman when Muhammad took her as a wife.
 
Sahih Muslim, Book of Marriage (link):<blockquote>Allah's Apostle emancipated Safiyya, and her emancipation was treated as her wedding gift. </blockquote>Sahih Bukhari, Book of al-Maghazi (link):<blockquote>Narrated Anas bin Malik: We arrived at Khaibar, and when Allah helped His Apostle to open the fort, t'''he beauty of Safiya bint Huyai bin Akhtaq''' whose husband had been killed while she was a bride, was mentioned to Allah's Apostle. The Prophet selected her for himself, and set out with her, and when we reached a place called Sidd-as-Sahba,' Safiya became clean from her menses then Allah's Apostle took her into his bed.</blockquote>The place of Sa`d-AsSahba is 14 miles away from Khaibar and it takes one day journey to reach Sa`d-AsSahba.
 
 
Reality is simple that:
 
* There exists no Allah in the heavens.
* Thus Muhammad had absolutely no idea of these exceptional cases where in some cases women could bleed for 3 cycles even after conceiving. There is absolutely no Hadith from Muhammad which tells about this exceptional cases.
* Muhammad adopted the practice of 'Iddah, while it was the tradition of that era of ignorance, and Muhammad was a part of that society.
* But in the modern era, when science discovered these facts, then Muslims now try to present these scientific discoveries as miracles of Islam.
* But Muslims will fail, as contradictions in Islam will then occur (like Muslims having sex with prisoner/slave women and  while Muhammad had himself sex with Saffiyyah after only the first menstrual cycle.
* And what about the (1) minor girl wife (who does not menstruate yet), or old ladies (who could not bear any children), or a woman who hasn't seen her husband for years? Allah/Muhammad ordered them too to observe the 'Iddah. But why? Again Muslims are unable to answer it using this newly invented excuse of exceptional cases too.
 
<br />
 
=== Muslim Excuse: A breastfeeding women could not bleed for 4 months even after conceiving ===
Answer is again the same that these are "exceptional" cases, while the laws are made upon the "generality". And if Muslims don't accept it, then Islam itself becomes illogical, and the prey of 'contradictions'. For example:
 
* Then Allah/Muhammad had to limit the 4 months 'Iddah to the breastfeeding women ONLY. Why did then Allah/Muhammad let those women suffer too the hardships of 'Iddah, who don't breastfeed the babies?
* And then Allah/Muhammad had to extend the 'Iddah of divorced women to 4 months, while 3 menstrual cycles make about 2 to 2+3/4 months at maximum, which means that the divorced women will bear the illegitimate bastard children due to this short 'Iddah.
* And then Allah/Muhammad had also ordered that breastfeeding Slave-Mothers should also undergo the 'Iddah of 4 months, and they should not be raped by the owners after the first menstrual cycle, otherwise they would also bear only the bastard children.  
 
Therefore, if modern Islam Apologists try to misuse the modern scientific discoveries, then Islam will become even more illogical and even more contradictory, and Muslims could never answer these newly occurring contradictions.
<br />
 
== '''Why no ‘Iddah in name of ‘mourning’ for the poor Prisoner/Slave Women?''' ==
Prisoner women and small prepubescent girls were innocent and they had absolutely no role in the wars. But still this didn’t stop Allah/Muhammad in punishing these innocent women/small girls and he allowed the Jihadists to rape them the same night, even though they had killed their fathers/brothers/husbands and sons the same day.
 
So, the question arises: '''Where has the element of ‘MOURNING’ gone in the case of these innocent prisoner women/small girls?'''
 
Muslim Jihadists were allowed to rape the virgin girls with ‘penetration’ the same night, without giving them any time to mourn their dead family members.
 
And as far as the prisoner women were concerned, who already had husbands, then penetration in their vaginas was not allowed. But still Muslim Jihadists were allowed to undress them and to take all kind of sexual pleasures with their naked bodies except for penetration.
 
Imam Ibn Hajar al-Asqallani writes in his book “Fath-ul-Bari (link):<blockquote>وقال عطاء لا بأس أن يصيب من جاريته الحامل ما دون الفرج
 
Translation:
 
Atta said: ‘There is no harm to drive sexual pleasure from the body of the pregnant slave/(or prisoner) woman except of vagina’</blockquote>According to Islamic Scholars, the Fiqh (Jurisprudence) of Imam Bukhari lies in the “Headings of Chapters” of his Book.
 
And Imam Bukhari gives this heading in his book Sahih Bukhari (link):<blockquote>''Chapter: If one buys a slave woman, can he then take her along with him in a journey without her completing her waiting period?''</blockquote>Under this heading, Imam Bukhari writes:<blockquote>ولم ير الحسن بأسا أن يقبلها أو يباشرها. وقال ابن عمر ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ إذا وهبت الوليدة التي توطأ أو بيعت أو عتقت فليستبرأ رحمها بحيضة، ولا تستبرأ العذراء. وقال عطاء لا بأس أن يصيب من جاريته الحامل ما دون الفرج.
 
Translation:
 
Hasan Basri finds nothing objectionable in kissing a woman or to having sex with her. And Ibn Umar said that such a slave woman who is given as a present, or who is sold, or who is made free, but sex had been done with her before that, then she had to undergo a waiting period. And Atta said if a slave woman had become pregnant (from the earlier owner/husband), then still pleasure could be derived from the whole of her body, except for her vagina.</blockquote>In order to understand the trauma of those captive women due to the killing of their relatives, please see the following tradition.
 
History of Tabari, Volume 8, Page 112:<blockquote>Ibn Ishaq said: After the Messenger of God conquered al-Qamus, Safiyyah bint Huyayy was brought to him, and another woman with her. Bilal (a companion), who was the one who brought them, led them past some of the slain Jews. When the woman who was with Safiyyah saw them, she cried out, struck her face, and poured dust on her head. When the Messenger of God saw her, he said, "Take this she-devil away from me!" ... The Messenger of God said to Bilal, when he saw the Jewish woman doing what he saw her do, "Are you devoid of mercy, Bilal, that you take two women past their slain men?"</blockquote>So, why did Allah/Muhammad not allow any these poor prisoner women to ‘mourn’ their husbands and fathers and brothers and the sons?
 
Contrary to Allah/Muhammad, the Jews and the Christians allowed the prisoner women to mourn their relatives for one complete month, during which men were not allowed to rape them, or to take any other sex services.
 
Bible, Deuteronomy, Chap 21 (link):<blockquote>'''Marrying a Captive Woman'''
 
(10) When you go to war against your enemies and the Lord your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives,
 
(11) if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife.
 
(12) Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails
 
(13) and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. '''After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month''', then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife.
 
(14) If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.</blockquote>Muhammad rejected the Sharia of Moses in this case, and he followed the laws of the pagan Arab ignorant society of that time, as it benefitted him and the Muslims financially and they were free to seek sexual pleasures through raping the prisoner women the same night.
 
==References==
{{reflist}}

Latest revision as of 03:54, 29 December 2021

Remarriage to Ex-Spouse after the Divorce

According to Islam, if a man divorces his wife thrice, then he could not directly remarry her. But if the divorced woman marries another man, and he divorces her or dies, after that she is allowed to remarry her first husband. This ruling has been directly mentioned in Quran.

If a man divorces her again (a third time), she becomes unlawful for him (and he cannot remarry her) until she has married another man. Then if he divorces her there is no harm if the two unite again (by remarrying)
Quran 2:230

This affects the whole family, but especially women and the children are affected from it.

This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time of Ignorance, and Islam adopted it from there (along with the other related practices like only husband had the right to divorce, and the system of 3 divorces etc).

The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake.

This was the practice of the pre-Islamic era Arabs

This was a practice of the Arab society of the pre-Islamic time.

Actually, the whole "system" of pre-Islamic era consisted of[1]:

  1. Only husband had the right to give divorce, while the women didn't have this right.
  2. The 3 Talaqs (divorces) system[2] i.e. Husband was allowed to take his wife back till 2 divorces. But after the 3rd divorce, he was not allowed to take her back.
  3. But if he desired her even after the 3rd Talaq, then she had to first marry another man, and after the divorce from the 2nd husband, she could return to her former husband.

The logic behind this ruling was to "punish" the husband for divorcing his wife thrice. Nevertheless, this custom didn't take into consideration the miseries that it brought upon the woman and she was also punished even if she was innocent and didn't make a mistake.

ويظهر أن الجاهليين كانوا قد أوجدوا حلًّا لهذا الطلاق الشاذ، فأباحوا للزوج أن يرجع زوجه إليه بعد الطلاق الثالث، ولكن بشرط أن تتزوج بعد وقوع الطلاق الثالث من رجل غريب، على أن يطلقها بعد اقترانها به، وعندئذ يجوز للزوج الأول أن يعود إليها بزوج جديد.
It is apparent that the people from the era of Ignorance found a way to make their wives permissible (Halal) for them even after 3 divorces. Therefore, if the husband wanted to take her back, then that woman had to marry a stranger man on the condition that he would divorce her later. After this process had been completed (i.e. the divorce from the stranger), then the first husband was allowed to remarry her.
Dr. Jawad Ali, in his book "Detailed in the history of the Arabs before Islam" كتاب المفصل فى تاريخ العرب قبل الإسلام [جواد علي ]

Later, Islam also adopted whole of this system of the pre-Islamic era (i.e. only husband having the right to divorce + 3 Divorces + the ruling of wife having to marry another man before returning to the 1st husband).

Islam added another extra condition to this pre-Islamic era practice i.e. no contract of divorce could be made at the time of marriage with the 2nd man[3]. This means, if the 2nd husband likes her, then he could keep her for himself. It was intended to make the punishment even more "severe".

The logic was to compel the husband to think more carefully before giving the 3rd divorce, and it was also a warning for a woman to solve the dispute, and to make her husband happy before he divorces her the 3rd time.

Nevertheless, this extra condition brought even more miseries upon the Muslim women as compared to the women of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance. Also, the children were also more affected.

The time period for solving the disputes in the Islamic 3 Talaqs System

There are 2 ways of giving 3 Talaqs in Islam.

  1. A husband gives 3 Talaqs (i.e. divorces) to his wife in one sitting i.e. if he says "Talaq, Talaq, Talaq" (i.e. 3 times Talaq) to his wife at the same time[4], then the final irrevocable divorce takes place within seconds.
  2. A husband gives the 1st Talaq (divorce) after the wife becomes free of her monthly bleeding. Then he gives the 2nd after the 2nd menstrual bleeding. These first 2 Talaqs (divorces) are reversible and he could took her back. But if he also divorces her the 3rd time after the third menstrual bleeding, then it becomes the irrevocable divorce[5]. This procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time.

In the first case, if a husband pronounces 3 divorces at once in anger, then there is absolutely no time left to solve the disputes. The whole family is destroyed within seconds.

In the 2nd case, the procedure of Talaq takes about 3 months time. Nevertheless, still there is no guarantee that the dispute between the husband and the wife is going to be over within 3 months. Some people, sometimes need some more time to learn their lessons than the 3 months.

Why a divorced Muslim couple still wants to reunite?

First Reason: The couple still love each other, despite the temporary anger and dispute

A divorce may occur due to many reasons (like temporary anger, inexperience of the young couple to solve their disputes, or family pressure, or financial situation etc.).

But all these factors could change with time, and they may be able to solve their dispute later.

Nevertheless, problem occurs for the divorced Muslim couples that they don't have any chance to correct their mistake later, and to reunite due to this Islamic ruling.

Second Reason: Preserving the family life for their children

In case of irrevocable divorce, both the partners have to live separately, and thus the children are also separated either from the father or from the mother.

In both cases, the family life of the children is destroyed.

Therefore, for the sake of their children, the divorced couples often wish to reunite later.

But again, due to this Islamic Ruling, the divorced couple get's no chance to correct their mistake and to reunite for the sake of their children.

Women especially feel themselves compelled to reunite with their ex-husbands

Another Islamic Ruling stipulates that[6]:

  • A woman will lose all of her children and they are separated from her if she marries any other man (except for her ex-husband).
  • Islamic Logic is that all the time of the wife (except of the prayers) belongs to the new husband. He could call her for sexual enjoyment at any time. But if children from the first husband are still there, then it hampers the right of 2nd husband to enjoy her. Thus, the children should be separated from her if she decides to remarry another person.

In an Islamic society, it is very difficult for a woman to survive alone. She has to face a lot of restrictions (like taking Hijab and not to make interaction with men). Thus, her life becomes really difficult to go outside of house, and then to find a good job, and then to work whole day there, and at the same time to look after her small children at home too. Thus, the easiest way for a divorced woman to survive in an Islamic society, is to remarry and get the financial support from the 2nd husband.

Thus, all the divorced Muslim mothers are badly affected and they are in a hard rock and hard place. They are practically "compelled" to choose one of the following options below:

  1. Their first option is to choose to stay with their children. But then they could not marry another man, and they have to give away their natural need of being loved by a man, and the financial support of a man, which is very much needed in an Islamic society.
  2. Their second option is to marry another man of their choice, in order to get the financial support and love from him. But the evil for them in this option is that all their children will be separated from them. And it is one of the most horrible thing for any mother to loose any or all of her children.
  3. Their third option is to remarry their ex-husband. In this case, they will get the financial support and love of a man, and children will also not be separated from her. Even if the she does not love the first husband, still getting the "financial support" from him along with the option of separation from her children is enough reason for her to wish to reunite with the former husband.

This is one of the main reason why Muslim women are very harshly and unilaterally hit by divorce, and they may feel themselves strongly compelled to return to their first husband (even if these women were totally innocent, and it was the fault of their husbands to divorce them). This is the "Only Chance" available for a Muslim woman in Islam to have a complete family life (which includes husband and her children).

Combination of This Ruling + Wife Beating + Wife not having the right to get her freedom through divorce

This Islamic Ruling does not affect the woman's life alone, but it works in combination of two other Islamic ruling (i..e Wife beating + A wife does not have the right to take divorce).

The combination of all three of them in action is found in the following Hadith:

Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by severe beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, `Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women (i.e. men were not beating their wives so brutally during the era of ignorance as they beat after Islam). Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but he is impotent and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifa`a (i.e. the first husband)." Allah's Apostle said, to her, "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"
Sahih Bukhari 5825 (Dar-us-Salam Ref)

Why this Sahabaia lady (i.e. female companion) made false slander of impotency against her 2nd husband?

From the Hadith of wife of Rifa`a, it is clear that either this Sahabia lady (i.e. female companion) was telling a lie about the impotency of her husband (and that too in front of Prophet Muhammad himself), or her 2nd husband was telling a lie when he claimed to not to be impotent.

Muhammad later declared that female companion to be a lair, while her 2nd husband already had 2 sons from another wife.

So, what compelled that female companion to come up with this lie of impotency of her husband?

Answer is, in case of impotency, she had a chance to get her freedom through an Islamic court. Here you could read about these rare cases, where an Islamic court could give freedom to the women through Faskh (i.e. dissolution of marriage).

Risks involved for the Muslim woman in the 2nd marriage:

This hadith of the wife of Rifa`a also makes clear about the huge risks and the severe consequences that a woman could face in case of marriage with the 2nd husband.

Even if a woman marries with the intention of divorce to the 2nd man, still there is a huge risk for her that the 2nd husband would not grant her freedom by giving her divorce as it is solely his right according to Islam. A Muslim woman could not get her freedom even through Khul' in Islam, as Khul' is also the right of the husband in Islam and no Islamic court could compel him to set her free.

Even more risk is involved for her that Islam also allows the 2nd husband to beat her severely in order to make her submissive, so that she provides him with the sex-services properly.

This beating could be so severe that she could even get the bruises all over her body. Even 'Aisha was complaining and testifying that the women in the pre-Islamic era were not beaten so brutally, as the Muslim women were being beaten by their Muslim husbands.

Love and desire to reunite with the first husband is "natural" despite the irrevocable divorce

This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves that love is natural, and desire to return to him is also natural and no irrevocable divorce could end this love and desire.

And if a Sahabia (female companion) lady was unable to control over her love and desire for the 1st husband, and if she was ready to come up with false slanders to achieve her desire, then it could not be expected from the women of today to not to love their ex-husbands and not to make such false moves in order to achieve their true desires.

Two houses and two families are going to be destroyed due to the restriction upon the love

This hadith of wife of Rifa`a also proves if religion is going to curb the love, and even succeeds in compelling her to marry another man, then still two families are going to be destroyed.

The house of first husband is going to be destroyed, while the children are without the mother. And the house of 2nd husband is going to be destroyed while there is no peace there and this house becomes the the center of beating of the woman.

Therefore, it is not only the woman, but the children and the whole two families are going to pay the price of this restriction.

Halala (Tahleel Marriage)

In Halala (or Tahleel Marriage), the 2nd marriage tooks place with the intention of later giving divorce to the woman, so that she could become lawful (Halal) for her former husband to marry her again.

There is a difference of opinion in different Fiqhs regarding the 2nd marriage with the intention of divorce[7]

  • Hanafi and Shafi'i Fiqhs allow a woman to marry a 2nd man with the 'intention' of taking divorce later, and to remarry her first husband. That is why, we see 'Halala Centers' in the Islamic countries, and even in the western countries too where Muslim population resides.
  • While Hanbali and Maliki Fiqhs don't allow such marriage with the intention of later taking Talaq. In this case, practically all the doors are shut for a woman to reunite her children and the former husband.

References:

  1. ↑ Divorce during the pre-Islamic era of Arab.
  2. ↑ Triple-Talaq
  3. ↑ No contract of divorce could be made at the time of marriage in Islam.
  4. ↑ Three Talaqs in one sitting.
  5. ↑ Quranic way of giving divorce.
  6. ↑ Woman looses the custody of children if she remarries. www.Islamweb.net Fatwa Site.
  7. ↑ Intention of Divorce makes Tahleel Marriage invalid. Islamqa.com
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