'Iddah (Female Menstrual Waiting Period)

In Islamic Sharia, 'iddah or 'iddat (Arabic: العدة‎; period (of waiting)), also spelled iddah, idda, or iddat, is the period a woman must observe after the death of her husband or after a divorce, during which she has to face numbers of restrictions^[1].

The 'iddah (waiting period) of different kind of women in Islam varies depending on her status:

• A widowed woman: The waiting period is 4 months and 10 days
• A pregnant woman: The waiting period is up to 9 months (till the birth of the baby)
• A divorced woman: The waiting period is 3 menstrual cycles. (On paper; in actuality she would not get the attention, love, or support and emotional help from any man for 6 menstrual cycles. The first 3 menstrual cycles are the process of Divorce, during which time she cannot not leave the husband's house, and her husband cannot touch her. And after the divorce, again she has to endure another "waiting period" of 3 more menstrual cycles with many restrictions. She practically has to stay under these strict restrictions for about 6 months).

Muslim scholars defend these restrictions upon the women in 'Iddah. They claim that rulings of 'Iddah could neither be abolished, nor could they be changed as the rulings of the Islamic Sharia are based upon wisdom, justice and the best interests of the women, and they protect the women against the gender oppression and misogyny, while the man made laws of the modern Western world lead to the sexual exploitation of the women^[2][3]. Yet in point of fact women are forced to unilaterally face these restrictions, which make their life difficult, while the husbands don't have to face any restriction. The basis of these restrictions, the need to be sure of fatherhood, has been rendered obsolete by modern science. In addition, these restrictions are not found anywhere in the bible or Judeo-Christian tradition. Their antecedents seem rather to be pre-Islamic Arab culture (which is known as "Time of Ignorance (i.e. jāhiliyyah)"^[4].

The different lengths of the waiting periods and their reasons

The length of 'iddah (waiting period) of different kind of women in Islam varies depending on her status:

• A prisoner/slave woman: The waiting period is becoming free from the blood of the first menstrual cycle^[5]. The reason is to determine the PARENTAGE of the child. Islam considers first menstrual cycle as enough to determine if a woman is pregnant or not.
• A divorced woman: The waiting period is 3 menstrual cycles. The reason is to give time to the couple to solve their dispute during this period^[5][6].
• A widowed woman: The waiting period is 4 months and 10 days. The reason is to give time to the woman to MOURN the death of her husband^[5][6].
• A pregnant woman: The waiting period is up to 9 months (till the birth of the baby). The reason is to prevent that another man (as 2nd husband) could "water" the fetus from the previous husband^[5][7].

Restrictions upon the woman during her 'Iddah:

Islamic 'Iddah not only prohibits the women from remarriage with another man, but it also puts other restrictions upon them.

First Restriction: She has to undergo the 'Iddah even without any 'maintenance' money

According to the traditional rulings of Shari'ah, after the death and divorce of a woman's husband she is not entitled to any support from his family or estate. As the Dar-ul-Ifta says:

A woman has no choice but to compulsorily undergo the 'Iddah of period of 4 months and 10 days (or up to 9 months in case of pregnancy), yet she has no right for maintenance money from the estate of her husband for this long period of time, and this in traditional cultures where women often rely upon men for their sustenance. In such cultures this stricture would be a huge financial burden upon the women, who often did not and do not even have any source of income.

Second Restriction: She has to stay in the house of her ex-Husband during the entirety of the ‘Iddah

According to the ruling of traditional Islamic Sharia'h, if a woman's husband dies then she is allowed to stay only in the house of her husband during this whole period of 'Iddah. She is not allowed to spend this time of 'Iddah in any other place (like house of her parents or any other family members).^[8][9] Sunan Abu Dawud bears witness to this custom, and further clarifies that her need for financial support is not to be taken into consideration:

The woman has to stay in the husband’s house, even if it doesn’t belong to her husband, or even if he hasn’t left any maintenance money for the wife

Although this clearly serves the purpose of insuring that the next man who marries her does not inherit a son from the previous marriage or another man she had relations with during her 'Iddah, the wellbeing of the woman here is not considered at all; her need to either work to support herself or be with her own family for succor and support is not taken into account at all, and neither is her freedom of movement and intention.

Third Restriction: The Woman should not leave the house even for daily walks, or visit the relatives or attend any social gathering

Many Islamic fatawa (religious rulings) decree that Muslim women observing their 'iddah must not leave their (husband's) house even for a walk and certainly not for any type of social gathering (Fatwa 1, Fatwa 2). Although this makes sense from the perspective of insuring that her next husband does not inherit the baby of a man she had relations with during her 'iddah and that any pregnancy which comes about in the 'iddah can only be the work of her husband, it completely disregards her human rights. No consideration is given for the women's freedom of movement, freedom of choice, social or relationship needs.

Fourth Restriction: The woman should not even use collyrium/kohl on her eyes even for eye disease, since it beautifies her

Although a woman is allowed to take medical care during her ‘iddah, still she should not use collyrium/kohl as a cure even against any eye disease, since this substance can be used as a form of makeup to beautifie her.

Fifth Restriction: Women are not allowed to use good clothes, jewelry, perfume, Henna and to comb their hair or to oil it

Women observing their 'Iddah are not allowed to wear good clothes, or jewelry, or use perfume or Henna. Even combing their hair and applying the oil to it is forbidden^[10]. Washing the face with aloe is also forbidden.

Although these strictures again work to keep the woman from having any intercourse or attracting any male attention during her 'iddah by keeping herself (relatively) unattractive, these laws once again completely disregard the happiness and freedom of the woman to whom they are applied. They also seem excessively harsh, as if she is truly keeping herself confined to her house the question arises as to who would see her with all of this makeup on even if she did apply it.

Pre-Islamic Influences on the Concept of ‘Iddah

According to the following hadith, the concept of 'iddah was taken from pre-Islamic Arabian culture:

Apparently women even at the time the hadith was created were complaining of the burdens of the 'iddah, but the hadith admonishes them that they ought to be thankful for Islam, since in the jahiliyyah (the pre-islamic time of "ignorance" before the coming of Islam in the Arab peninsula) the 'iddah lasted a whole year. That there were complaints, though, can be seen from the existence of the hadith in the first place, so even in the time of this hadith women were not happy with them; by comparison, modern secular culture imposes no such restrictions on women at all.

Waiting period for the captive/slave-women

The waiting period of captive/slave-women is as follows:

• If she is a virgin girl, then no waiting period is necessary, and the Muslim owner is allowed to force her to provide him the sexual services the same night.
• If she's married and has a husband, then the waiting period is to become free of the first menstrual blood. Even if this blood stopped the first night after the capture/purchase, the owner is allowed to force her to provide him the sexual services the same night.

Imam Abdullah Ibn Abi Zayd (who is also knows as younger Imam Malik), writes in his Fiqh book Risalah:

Even if the first menstrual blood stops the first night after becoming captive/purchase, the Muslim owner is allowed to have sex with her the same night.

Saffiyyah (a Jewish captive woman) became free of her blood the next night after her father, brother and husband were killed in the war by Muslims. Thus Muhammad had sex with her the next night

Criticism of the Islamic 'Iddah

Criticism of the 'Iddah of a widow

Some Islamic du'aah, shaykhs, and ulemaa' argue that the reason for the 4 month and 10 days long 'iddah of a widow is to 'mourn' the death of the husband.^[6][11] Yet it should be noted that there is no obligation of any “mourning” upon a man if the wife dies. There is a clear a double standard vis-a-vis the same situation involving a man and a woman, as the husband is totally free to marry a new wife the same night, without any waiting period in name of "mourning." He's also totally free to have sex with his other wives and dozens of slave girls the same night as his divorce, and there is no restriction upon him in name of "mourning."

Moreover, the 'iddah is even incumbent upon the widow in cases where she has never seen her husband after the marriage, and in cases where the marriage has not been consummated, and even if she is a minor child, or even if the marriage was abusive ^[12]. In all such cases, a widow has no emotional connection with the deceased husband, but still she has to undergo the restrictions of 'Iddah in name of mourning. As such, feminist critics of the institution of the 'iddah have decried it as misogynist.

Criticism of the 'Iddah of a pregnant woman

According to the Quran, the 'iddah of a pregnant woman is till the birth of a child (Quran 65:4).

Muhammad in the hadith of Sunan Abu Dawud justifies the practice in this manner:

This prohibition seems to imply some impurification of the fetus by the seed of the second man, but scientifically once the woman has been impregnated this is impossible, the DNA of the baby will not be affected by any other semen in the woman's body. This hadith thus seems to present an unscientific view of human gestation. Moreover, the man is under all circumstances able to take sexual pleasure from any other wife or sex slave that he possess immediately after the end of his marital bond, but it is only the woman who is not allowed to fulfil her natural need to have love and sex from any man.

Criticism of the Islamic Ruling that a pregnant woman has to stay in the house of her ex-husband till the delivery

A pregnant woman has to stay in the house of her ex-husband:

This ruling is criticized while a woman is alone in the house of her ex-husband, and she has to observe Purdah (Hijab) from him too^[13]. Living under one roof with the ex-husband is a cause of mental torture for a woman.

As compared to the house of ex-husband, she could find a lot of love in house of her parents or relatives and live freely there and deliver the child in the comfort of her family.

Criticism of 'Iddah in case of divorce

There are 2 procedures of giving the Triple Talaq in traditional Sunni Islam^[14][15]:

• Either the husband may pronounce the 3 Talaqs (repeating the word for "divorce" in Arabic, "talaq talaq talaq") in one sitting (known as Talaq al-Bidah).
• Or husband gives each divorce after one menstrual cycle without touching her (known as Talaq al-Sunnah). This means, the process of 3 Talaqs takes 3 menstrual cycles.

Criticism of the 'Iddah in case of Talaq al-Bidah (i.e. Triple Talaqs in one sitting):

In the first case of triple Talaqs in one sitting, a woman has to go the restrictions of 'Iddah for 3 menstrual cycles before remarrying another man. But this ruling is criticized, while the parentage of the child could be determined only after the first menstrual cycle (as in case of the captive/slave woman). Therefore, logically the 'Iddah should be only one menstrual cycle long if this idea were to be followed to its logical conclusion^[16]. There is no chance of reconciliation between the couple after the 3 Talaqs.

Moreover, it is also claimed that in the present modern era, it is not necessary to wait even for one menstrual cycle, as the pregnancy could be determined right away through the medical tests.

Criticism of the 'Iddah in case of Talaq al-Sunnah (i.e. Triple Talaqs in 3 different sittings)

In case of Talaq al-Sunnah, the process of divorce itself takes the time of 3 menstrual cycles, during which husband is not allowed to touch the woman^[14][15]. Therefore, this process of divorce (which is 3 menstrual cycles long) is itself enough to make sure if the woman is pregnant or not (as the husband has not touched her during this period).

Yet according to the traditional Sunni Islam, a woman has to undergo 3 more menstrual cycles of 'Iddah (i.e. The whole process of Divorce + ‘Iddah lasts for at least 6 menstrual cycles for a divorced woman).

Criticism of the Islamic Ruling that in case of Divorce too, woman has to stay in the house of her ex-husband during the period of 'Iddah

Not only does the widow have to compulsorily stay in the house of her deceased husband during 'Iddah, but in case of divorce too, the woman is forced by these laws stay in the house of her ex-husband:

The critics of this ruling point out that after the irrevocable triple talaq (either in one sitting or three different sittings), no reconciliation is possible (except that she marries another man and he also divorces her), which begs the question of why an 'iddah is even necessary in today's world with genetic parental testing.

Implantation Bleeding Despite Being pregnant

Islamic du'aah and shaikhs claim that the Islamic 'Iddah of 3 menstrual cycles is correct, while some women have implantation bleeding despite being pregnant, and it is difficult for a woman to differentiate between the periods and the implantation bleeding. Yet despite this rule, traditional Islamic law itself stipulates an 'Iddah of a prisoner/slave woman as only one menstrual cycle, in contradiction to this idea. If parentage were the main issue, the status of the woman (free or slave) should not matter. Also the 'Iddah of a free Muslim woman in the case of Khul' is only one period.^[17] Even Muhammad himself slept with Safiyah the same night when her first menstrual blood stopped, after he had murdered her previous husband. Note that Safiyyah was not a slave, but a free woman when Muhammad took her as a wife:

There is no Sahih Hadith of the prophet in which he ever mentions the 'Iddah of 3 periods due to any implantation bleeding. Muhammad adopted the practice of 'Iddah from his native Arabian culture. It is in response to modern conceptions of biology and ideals about women's rights that these arguments about parentage have been formulated. But Muslims will fail, as contradictions in Islam will then occur (like Muslims having sex with prisoner/slave women and  while Muhammad had himself sex with Safiyyah after only the first menstrual cycle. They are not based on the actual source material but rather on a desire to make the source material acceptable to a modern audience.

Why no waiting period in name of "mourning" for the captive/slave women?

In spite of the aforementioned claims of concern for the well-being of women, according to traditional Fiqh (Islamic Jurisprudence) Muslim men are allowed to derive sexual pleasures from the virgin girls taken as war booty during Jihad without giving them any 'waiting period' to mourn their dead family members. As far as the non-virgin slaves taken as war booty are concerned, if already have husbands, then vaginal coitus is not allowed till they become free of their first menstrual period, but the Muslim Mujhaahiduun (i.e. warriors) are allowed to undress them the same night and to take all kinds of other sexual pleasures and sexual favors from them aside from vaginal penetration.

According to Islamic Scholars, the Fiqh (Jurisprudence) of Imam Bukhari lies in the “Headings of Chapters” of his Book. And Imam Bukhari gave this heading in his book Sahih Bukhari^[18]:

Chapter: If one buys a slave woman, can he then take her along with him in a journey without her completing her waiting period?

Under this heading, Imam Bukhari writes:

The sorrow and pain of such women are recorded in Tabari:

The clear disregard for the well-being of women presents a conundrum for modern day advocates of these Islamic laws and traditions. On one hand, Islamic law advocates claim that a Muslim woman is not allowed to be wed during 3 periods/months long 'Iddah while she is mentally under stress after the divorce. Yet on the flip side of the coin, by endorsing a tradition with such endorsements of sexual slavery, they ignore any such mental stress for the prisoner women and girls. Far away from the subject of divorce, even after killing all the men of their family, Muslim men are allowed their use sex objects the very same night that their slavery begins. They are provided with no 'waiting period' to come out of their mental stress.

Contrary to Islam, even the laws of the Jewish Bible allowed the prisoner women to mourn their relatives for one complete month, during which men were not allowed to take any other sexual services from them.

In creating these new rulings around taking the sexual pleasure of female sex slaves, Islamic law rejected the law of the Bible in this case, and more closely followed the laws of the pagan Arab society of the time of Muhammad, as it benefitted the Muslims financially and they were free to seek sexual pleasures through the prisoner women the same night.

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