Khadijah bint Khuwaylid: Difference between revisions

The traditions about Khadijah’s early life are scanty and often contradictory. It is generally accepted that she was born “fifteen years before the Elephant” and that she was 65 (lunar) years old when she died,<ref>E.g., {{Tabari|6|p. 47}}.</ref> indicating a birthdate between July 556 and July 557. However, the source of this tradition is Khadijah’s nephew, Hakim ibn Hizam,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9, 11-12. {{Tabari|39|pp. 41, 106}}.</ref> who was one of the many early Muslims who claimed his own age to be 120.<ref>{{Muslim|10|3662}}. See also {{Tabari|39|pp. 40, 43}}, where Huwaytib ibn Abduluzza claims to be 120 years old, yet in the same breath betrays that he cannot count.</ref> By contrast, Abdullah ibn Abbas, the cousin who lived at Muhammad’s side through the final years in Medina,<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 95}}.</ref> stated that “on the day Khadija married Allah’s Messenger, she was 28 years old.”<ref>[http://qurango.com/images/b/5/293.jpg/ Ibn Kathir, ''Al-Bidaya wa’l-Nihaya'' vol. 5 p. 293]. Majlisi, ''Bihar al-Anwar'' vol. 16 p. 12. Ibn Ishaq, cited in Al-Hakim al-Nishaburi, ''Mustadrak'' vol. 3 p. 182.</ref> If this is correct, she was born between March 568 and March 569. Variant traditions claim other years.<ref>See [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister, M. J. (1993). The Sons of Khadija. ''Jerusalem Studies in Arabic and Islam, 16'', 59-95.]</ref> Whatever her precise date of birth, she was still of childbearing age as late as 605.

Khadija’s first husband was Atiq ibn A’idh (or Abid), a junior member of the Makhzum clan.<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918. Bewley/Saad 8:151.</ref> The Makhzumites had grown wealthy on trade, and their generosity had won them the loyalty of their neighbours. They were now serious contenders for the leadership of the city.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 142-143. See also Bewley/Saad 8:61; {{Tabari|39|p. 196}}.</ref> This match was therefore a step up the social scale for Khadija, though perhaps a small step if her family also had money. Atiq and Khadija had two children, suggesting – since Khadija produced her children within two-year intervals<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10. [http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 36.2/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:36:2].</ref> – that the marriage lasted between two and four years. From their daughter, Hind, Khadija derived her ''kunya'' Umm Hind.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9. {{Tabari|39|p. 161}}.</ref> Their son, Abdullah,<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref> died in infancy.<ref>[http://www.oocities.org/tirmidhihadith/page1.html/ Tirmidhi 117].</ref> Most sources state that Atiq died,<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 127}}.</ref> although there is a variant tradition that the marriage ended in divorce.<ref>[https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)] summarises these sources, citing Ibn Ishaq, as transmitted by Yunus ibn Bukayr, ''Al-Siyar wa-l-Maghazi'' p. 82, and Majlisi, ''Bihar al-Anwar'' vol. 16 p. 10, for Atiq’s death, and Baladhuri, ''Ansab al-Ashraf'' vol. 1 pp. 406-407, for divorce.</ref>

Khadija then married a Bedouin nobleman, Malik ibn An-Nabbash, who was from the Tamim tribe. In the way of nomads who aspired to an urban lifestyle, Malik and his two brothers had immigrated to Mecca and formed an alliance with the Abduldar clan of the Quraysh.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9, 151. {{Tabari|9|p. 127}}. {{Tabari|39|p. 79}}.</ref> Given their highborn origins, the Tamim brothers would have interacted with their new allies as equals rather than as vassals. To complete their Meccan citizenship, they sought Quraysh wives, to whom they could offer rank, connections and probably also money. It is interesting that Malik chose Khadija, for the Asad clan was the traditional rival of Abduldar.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 57.</ref> Their marriage produced three children, suggesting that it lasted between four and six years. From their first son, Hala, Malik took his ''kunya'' Abu Hala.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9. [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)] documents sources in which Malik was also known as Hind and his son Hala was also known as Al-Harith. It was not uncommon for Arabs to be known by alternative and apparently unrelated names.</ref> Their second son was, confusingly, also named Hind.<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918. Bewley/Saad 8:9.</ref> Their daughter, Zaynab,<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref> probably died young, as no more is heard about her, and Khadija later mentioned that she had borne each of her first two husbands a child who had died in infancy.<ref>[http://www.oocities.org/tirmidhihadith/page1.html/ Tirmidhi 117].</ref>

In contradiction to all this, some sources state that Khadija married Abu Hala first and Atiq second.<ref>E.g., Bewley/Saad 8:9.</ref> However, a ''kunya'' was usually taken from a firstborn child, indicating that Umm Hind and Abu Hala did not share the same firstborn.

It is not known when or how Abu Hala died, but the Sacrilegious War against the Qays-Aylan tribe dominated the years 591–594.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82. [http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 32.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:32:1]. Strangely, Ibn Hisham note 124 claims an outbreak date as early as 585. Although note 124 was designed to be read immediately after the statement of Ibn Ishaq that it contradicts, there is not a word of explanation for the inconsistency. However, the preliminary hostilities commenced several years before the first full-fledged battle ([http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap2.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 2 pp. 2-5]). One possible explanation is that Ibn Hisham deliberately confused the first informal skirmish (when Muhammad was 14) with the first battle proper (when Muhammad was 20) so that his youth might excuse his less-than-glorious prowess in the fighting [http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap2.htm/ (Muir, 1861, pp. 6-7f)].</ref> Khadija’s brother Hizam was killed in the second round of the conflict,<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 41}}</ref> and their father Khuwaylid, who must have been some sixty years old, was a commander on the field.<ref>Waqidi, ''Kitab al-Maghazi'', cited in [http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap2.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 2 pp. 7f9, 22, 24f28].</ref> After Abu Hala’s death, several prominent citizens proposed marriage to the widowed Khadija, some of them investing great sums of money into their courtship, but her father vetoed every match.<ref>{{Tabari|6|pp. 48-49}}. [http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:1].</ref>

The reason why Khadija attracted so many suitors was that she was the richest woman in Mecca. By the time Abu Hala died, she had become “a merchant woman of dignity and wealth. She used to hire men to carry merchandise outside the country.”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> While the legends that “half the trade in Mecca” belonged to Khadija<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> are doubtless exaggerated, she may well have been the wealthiest single trader. The traditions do not state in what commodity she dealt, but among the exports of Mecca are mentioned leather, wool, perfume, silver, cheese and dried raisins.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 424, 547, 716. See also Crone, P. (2007). Quraysh and the Roman army: Making sense of the Meccan leather trade. ''Bulletin of SOAS, 70'', 63–88.</ref> Nor is it known how she originally acquired her business. Perhaps her father helped to set her up, but this opens the question of why Khadija became more prosperous than any of her siblings. If she had a backer not available to them, it was probably one or both of her husbands. Or perhaps the business flourished because of Khadija’s personal talents and efforts.

Muslim apologists sometimes point to Khadija’s independence and success as an example of the great opportunities that Islam grants to women. Typical claims are:

This is illogical, since Khadija’s career was established before Islam existed. What it really demonstrates is the opportunities that pre-Islamic Arabs (sometimes) granted to women, who not only mingled freely with men in the market-place but were also respected for doing so. Most merchants were men, but among the women were the very pagan Hind bint Utba<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:165.</ref> and the perfumer Asma bint Mukharriba.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:209.</ref><ref>[http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., Bianquis, T., Bosworth, C. E., van Donzel, E., & Heinrichs, W. P. (Eds.). (2006). '''Encyclopaedia of Islam, 2nd Ed.'' Brill Online.]</ref> After Khadija died, Muslim women were ordered to stay at home and wear veils,<ref>{{Quran|33|54}}</ref> and it became impossible for an adherent Muslim woman to conduct any such enterprise. Khadija had no way of knowing that within a decade of her death, her lifestyle would be forbidden to her spiritual descendants.

In the spring of 595, Khadija required a new agent to accompany her camels to Syria. Her brother’s wife’s brother, Abu Talib ibn Abdulmuttalib,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 162, 585. Bewley/Saad 8:29.</ref> recommended the services of his ward, a nephew whom he could no longer afford to keep. Hearing that the young man was honest and reliable, Khadija agreed to hire him for a higher commission than she usually paid.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 34.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:34:2.] Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> His name was Muhammad.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref>

Two months later Muhammad returned to Mecca with merchandise worth nearly double what Khadija had expected.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 48}}. Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> Goods commonly imported from Syria included grain, oil, wine, weapons, cotton and linen.<ref>Crone, P. (2007). [http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., et al. (Eds.) (2006).]</ref> As Khadija worked on a profit-share basis,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> she doubled Muhammad’s commission.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> It is said that Khadija later dispatched him on a second trip, this time to Tihama<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 49}}</ref> in Yemen to import frankincense, myrrh and fine textiles.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 128, 158, 271.</ref> It is not clear whether Khadija took the unusual step of sending her agent southwards in the heat of summer<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 58. [http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., et al. (Eds.) (2006).] See also {{Quran|106|2}}.</ref> in order to import a near-monopoly; or whether this second venture occurred during a subsequent winter, after Muhammad and Khadija were already married, and the detail that she “employed” him is an error; or whether the whole timeline has been confused, and these events occurred over a longer timespan than is usually assumed. What is certain is that by the summer of 595, Khadija had decided to marry her agent.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82; Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref>

Khadija sent as her intermediary Nafisa bint Umayya, a half-negro freedwoman from Abu Hala’s tribe.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10, 172. She is sometimes known matrilinearly as Nafisa bint Munya, suggesting that she was illegitimate.</ref> Nafisa approached Muhammad at the bazaar and asked why he had never married. He replied that he could not afford to support a family. “But if money were no obstacle,” Nafisa persisted, “would you be willing to marry a lady of wealth, rank and beauty?” Muhammad asked which lady of that description would be willing to take him, and Nafisa named Khadija. Muhammad instantly expressed his willingness.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:1].</ref> When Khadija next sent for Muhammad, it was to make a formal proposal. She spoke of how his noble ancestry, good reputation and personal honesty rendered him eligible, and offered herself as his wife.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 48}}.</ref>

When Muhammad told Nafisa that he had always wanted to marry but could not afford it, he was speaking directly from his personal experience. He had hoped to marry his cousin Fakhita, but Abu Talib had prevented it by giving her to a wealthy man and telling Muhammad that the family needed to marry money.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 196}}. Bewley/Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 8:109.</ref> So Muhammad was looking for a wife and was in a frame of mind to consider any reasonable offer. Khadija’s offer, of course, was beyond reasonable. She was the Arab equivalent of a multi-millionaire, and her patronage was the most extraordinary luck for Muhammad.

Muslim commentators have stressed how Khadija was a “much older” woman and therefore Muhammad must have been noble and high-minded to marry her for her character rather than her physical charms.

It would be difficult, however, to prove that Muhammad was attracted only to Khadija’s character and not to her money. While she was to prove both loyal and sympathetic,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 111</ref> it is not clear that Muhammad had had the opportunity to assess these character-qualities in advance. It is certain that he had had the opportunity to assess her wealth.

Nor is there any reason to assume that Khadija was physically unattractive. If the report of Abdullah ibn Abbas is correct, she was a mere three years older than Muhammad, which hardly qualifies as an age-difference. While a modern hagiography that describes her as “beautiful, tall and light-skinned”<ref>[http://www.maaref-foundation.com/english/library/pro_ahl/fatima/fatima_the_gracious/03.htm/ Ordoni, Abu M. (1987). ''Fatima the Gracious'', p. 27. Qum: Ansariyan Publications.]</ref> does not cite early sources, the servant Nafisa had also mentioned that she was “beautiful”.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:1].</ref> Even if Nafisa was exaggerating (the word “beautiful” in this context usually means “normal-looking” as opposed to deformed or ugly), she achieved no purpose in telling an outright lie to a man who already knew what Khadija looked like.

Khadija asked for a dower of 20 camels.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82; Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref> Twenty camels would have been worth about £8,000,<ref>Numerous ''ahadith'' such as {{Bukhari|2|24|528}} and {{Muslim|10|3893}} indicate that a camel cost about 80 ''dirhams'', although this varied with the age and health of the camel. Hence 20 camels would be worth 1,600 ''dirhams''. {{Bukhari|5|59|357}} indicates that an annual income of 5,000 ''dirhams'' was a comfortable living, so Khadija’s dower was equivalent to four months’ (middle-class) income. However, it seems that a frugal person could survive on a ''dirham'' a day ([http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life4/chap25.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 4 p. 156]), so the same sum came to over four years’ wages for a labourer. While it is almost impossible to calculate equivalent prices for such a different culture, the ''dirham'', a silver coin, was the price of a wooden bowl or a ground-sheet ({{Abudawud|9|1637}}) or a cheap necklace ({{Abudawud|14|2704}}), so we might, very roughly, think of a ''dirham'' as £5. A ''dinar'', a gold coin worth 10 ''dirhams'', was the price of a sheep.</ref> which was four times the dower that Muhammad gave to any of his subsequent wives.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 189}}. See also Ibn Hisham note 918. The same 400 ''dirhams'' (£2,000) was also the ransom for a war-captive ({{Abudawud|14|2685}}) or the starting price for a slave ({{Tabari|39|p. 6}}).</ref> This suggests that Khadija was “worth four women” to him, i.e. that it was part of their marriage contract that he would not take another wife in her lifetime. A poor man like Muhammad would have had some trouble amassing such a hefty gift, even if he returned all the beasts that Khadija had personally given him (she had paid his commissions in camels).<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 34.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:34:2.]</ref> His good fortune in attracting the wealthiest woman in Mecca must have delighted the investment-seeking Abu Talib, and we can only assume that the family combined resources to raise the dower.