'Iddah (Female Menstrual Waiting Period): Difference between revisions

In Islamic [[Sharia]], '<nowiki/>''iddah'' or '''iddat'' (Arabic: العدة‎; ''period (of waiting)''), also spelled ''iddah'', ''idda'', or ''iddat'', is the period a woman must observe after the death of her husband or after a divorce, during which she may not marry another man.<ref name="Esposito2004">{{cite book | editor = John L. Esposito | date = 21 October 2004 | title = The Oxford Dictionary of Islam | publisher = Oxford University Press | pages = 131 | isbn = 978-0-19-975726-8 | oclc = 286438886 | url = https://books.google.com/books?id=E324pQEEQQcC}}</ref> The 'iddah (waiting period) of different kind of women in Islam varies depending on her status:

*'''A widowed woman''': The waiting period is 4 months and 10 days

*'''A pregnant woman''': The waiting period is up to 9 months (till the birth of the baby)

*'''A divorced woman''': The waiting period is 3 menstrual cycles. (On paper; in actuality she would not get the attention, love, or support and emotional help from any man for 6 menstrual cycles. The first 3 menstrual cycles are the process of Divorce, during which time she cannot not leave the husband's house, and her husband cannot touch her. And after the divorce, again she has to endure another  "waiting period" of 3 more menstrual cycles with many restrictions. She practically has to stay under these strict restrictions for about 6 months).

Muslim Scholars claim that rulings of 'Iddah could neither be abolished, nor could they be changed as the rulings of the [[Shari'ah (Islamic Law)| Islamic Sharia]]  are based upon wisdom, justice and the best interests of the women, and they protect the women against the gender oppression and misogyny, while the man made laws of the modern Western world lead to the sexual exploitation of the women<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/39286 Islam Question Answer Fatwa Website: Is it correct to think that fatwas may vary according to time and place?] </ref><ref>[https://yaqeeninstitute.org/read/paper/women-in-islamic-law-examining-five-prevalent-myths Women in Islamic Law: Examining Five Prevalent Myths]</ref>. Yet all of these restrictions target only women, and the non-religious reasons (supposedly pertaining to the interest of the woman) given for these restrictions don't pass the test of reason.  

==‘Iddah and the ‘parentage’ of the child==

Islamic legal texts make the claim that ‘Iddah is necessary in order to keep the ‘parentage’ of the child secure. Yet in point of fact, in light of modern science, being free of blood from the first menstrual cycle is not enough to know if a woman is or is not pregnant. And even Islamic law itself stipulates that the 'iddah (waiting period) of a new prisoner<ref>[https://sunnah.com/abudawud:2158 Sunnan Abu Dawud: 2158]</ref>, and also of a free Muslim woman who takes divorce through [[Khul']]<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/5163/does-iddah-apply-in-the-case-of-khula Islam Question Answer Fatwa Website]</ref> should only be one month. According to Islamic law, after the first menstrual cycle Muslim men may marry them and have intercourse with them. Muhammad himself had sex with [[Safiyah]] the same night after he had had her father, brother and husband killed, while she became free from blood of her first menstrual cycle the same day<ref>[https://sunnah.com/bukhari/64/251 Sahih Bukhari:2158]</ref>. Muhammad married her as a free woman. These facts cast doubt on the idea that the 3 month 'iddah of a divorced women or the 4 month 10 day 'iddah of a widow has anything to do with determining parental rights and responsibilities

==Restrictions upon the women during her 'Iddah:==

The Islamic concept of 'Iddah entails a waiting period that a women must undergo between marriages. This period of waiting entails a number of restrictions on the woman before she can re-enter society, let alone marry again.  

According to the traditional rulings of shari'ah, the after the death and divorce of a woman's husband she is not entitlted to any support from his family or estate. As the Dar-ul-Ifta says:{{Quote|[https://daruliftaa.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/rules_of_iddat-1.pdf Dar-ul-Ifta]|The '''maintenance and providing of shelter for a woman observing the Iddat of Death are not the responsibility of her in-laws. She also does not have the right to take her maintenance out of the Estate of her deceased husband.'''}}A woman has no choice but to compulsorily undergo the 'Iddah of period of 4 months and 10 days (or up to 9 months in case of pregnancy), yet she has no right for maintenance money from the estate of her husband for this long period of time, and this in traditional cultures where women often rely upon men for their sustenance. In such cultures this stricture would be a huge financial burden upon the women, who often did not and do not even have any source of income in such cultures.

===Sixth Restriction: She should give up her Natural needs of getting any emotional support and attention and love from any other partner during the ‘Iddah===

Islam critics point out that:

*Need of sex is not only limited to men, but it is a natural need of woman too. But Islam does not recognise this right and natural need of a woman, and it has limited it to the man only. Thus, a woman is not allowed to have sex with any partner for this long period of time of ‘Iddah.

*But sex is not the only problem, while divorce or death of husband also comes with extreme emotional stress for the woman. This is exactly the time when some of them may need emotional support and attention from a caring partner the most, who could talk with them and give them love and attention, so that they feel themselves “secure” in the partner's arms.

*On the other hand, Muslim men are allowed to have sex with other wives and dozens of slave-girls the same night. There is absolutely no restrictions upon them to even control themselves for even for a single day.

===Seventh Restriction: She could not secure herself and her children financially through relationship with any other partner in the ‘Iddah===

Islam critics object here that the Hadith of Furay'ah (which has already been mentioned above) proves that a woman has to stay in the waiting period in the house of her deceased husband, even though he left no maintenance money for her.

*And women in Islamic society are poorly educated.

*And Islamic society also does not provide women with job opportunities too, but she has to face so many hurdles in doing a job outside.

*Thus, the best bet for such a divorced/widow Muslim woman (even if she is pregnant) is to get another partner and get herself and her children financially secured in this way.

*But Islam has also completely blocked this opportunity for the woman too. Neither other men are allowed to see her, nor to meet her and decide if they could come into the relationship, nor they could make any proposal to them.

*She is all alone during the ‘Iddah period to financially secure herself and her children.<br />

==Islamic Reasoning Behind the Restrictions: Promoting Virtue, Preventing Vice==

A powerful idea within Islamic law and preaching is "promoting virtue and preventing vice" or in Arabic الأمر بالمعروف والنهي عن المنكر literally "commanding in virtue and prohibiting vice." Muslims scholars argue that the institution of the 'iddah is in harmony with this principle, as the isolation of the woman during this period keeps her from falling into [[Zina]]. This idea is maintained even though going to parks, picnics, going on walks, going to social gatherings, visiting their relatives and staying with their parents is normally allowed to never-married women, who could also theoretically fall into zina. Unmarried Muslim women not undergoing their 'iddah are also allowed to use Kolh and perfume, and to wear jewerly and good clothes, to take part in Henna and to wash their faces with Aloe. Never the less, all of these things are forbidden to women undergoing their 'iddah.

According to the following hadith, the concept of 'iddah was taken from pre-Islamic Arabian culture:

{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5336|darussalam}}|Um Salama said that a woman came to Allah's Messenger and said, "O Allah's Messenger ! The husband of my daughter has died and she is suffering from an eye disease. Can she apply  collyrium/kohl to her eye?" Allah's Messenger replied, "No," twice or thrice. (Every time she repeated her question) he said,''' "No." Then Allah's Messenger added, "It is just a matter of four months and ten days. In the Pre-Islamic Period of ignorance a widow among you should throw a globe of dung when one year has elapsed (i.e. she had to stay in ‘Iddah for the whole one year)." '''}}Apparently women even at the time the hadith was created were complaining of the burdens of the 'iddah, but the hadith admonishes them that they ought to be thankful for Islam, since in the jahiliyyah (the pre-islamic time of "ignorance" before the coming of Islam in the Arab peninsula) the 'iddah lasted a whole year. That there were complaints, though, can be seen from the existence of the hadith in the first place, so even in the time of this hadith women were not happy with them; by comparison, modern secular culture imposes no such restrictions on women at all.

==Reason for 'Iddah of a widow==

Many Islamic du'aah, shaykhs, and ulemaa' argue that the reason for the 4 month and 10 days long 'iddah of a widow is to ''''mourn'''<nowiki/>' the death of the husband.<ref>Reason for 4 months 10 days long Iddah of a widow [https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/88684/rights-of-a-deceased-husband-on-his-wife]</ref> Yet it should be noted that there is no obligation of any “mourning” upon a man if the wife dies. There is a clear  a double standard vis-a-vis the same situation involving a man and a woman:

*The Husband is totally free to marry a new wife the same night, without any waiting 'iddah

*A man is is also totally free to have sex with his other wives and dozens of slave girls the same night as his divorce, and there is no restriction upon him in name of "mourning."

*The 'iddah is only incumbent upon the woman in case of the death of her husband.

 

==Reason for the 'Iddah of a pregnant woman==

This prohibition seems to imply some impurification of the fetus by the seed of the second man, but scientifically once the woman has been impregnated this is impossible, the DNA of the baby will not be affected by any other semen in the woman's body. This hadith thus seems to present an unscientific view of human gestation. In traditional societies where these laws were established, pregnant women were especially vulnerable and relied almost entirely upon men for their sustenance; yet the strictures of the 'iddah prevent her from finding support, and this unscientific idea thus promotes to the woman's further impoverishment. Meanwhile, the man is under all circumstances able to take sexual pleasure from any other wife or sex slave that he possess immediately after the end of his marital bond.  

 

The whole process of Divorce + ‘Iddah lasts for 6 menstrual cycles for a divorced woman. If the Muslim husband decides to give her a divorce, then the woman is still compelled to stay for the next 3 menstrual cycles with him in his house<ref>Woman has to stay for 3 menstrual cycles at home of husband during the process of [https://abukhadeejah.com/divorce-talaq-iddah-remarriage-khula/ Talaq] </ref>.

During these 3 months, the wife is not allowed to come in contact with any man, and her husband also cannot touch her (or else the divorce will be cancelled and the marriage will be back in force). The woman is in a "solitary confinement" like situation in the house of her husband, yet the husband is free to have sex with other wives and slave girls during this period.

Even if the husband has not touched her for the last 3 menstrual cycles, according to many Islamic shaikhs and ulema the woman still has to observe restrictions of 'Iddah of 3 more months<ref>Privacy under one roof causes women to observe 'Iddah of 3 months. [https://daruliftaa.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/rules_of_iddat-1.pdf]</ref>. The restrictions of 'Iddah of 3 more menstrual cycles is meant to safeguard the parentage of the child in case she became pregnant from the previous husband. Yet in terms of how the actual process works, the witness of ONLY the man is accepted during the process of Talaq (i.e. on the fact he didn’t touch her for the last 3 menstrual cycles), and he obtains his divorce from her on the basis of his testimony alone. The process relies upon his testimony of no sexual contact during the 'iddah alone. Yet at the same time the witnesses of BOTH the Man and Woman are considered insufficient in the case of a sexless marriage, and the woman is still forced to undergo the 3 months of the 'iddah. Islamic law also allows the man to start having sex with the slave woman of another woman, on the bases of ''''singular testimony'''<nowiki/>' of the slave-girl alone, that she is not pregnant, and her owner made her Halal for him to use her as a sex object, yet the testimony of 2 Muslims (a man and a woman) cannot obviate the need for an 'iddah for the woman. These strictures apply past the first menstruation after the divorce, for children who are married, and also for old women, all of which indicates that the purpose of the 'iddah goes beyond merely ensuring paternity.

{{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20201101155533/http://www.shiapen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/fatwa_alamgiri_v3_p268.jpg Fatawa Alamgiri, vol 3, page 268, Urdu edition]|A Singular Report is enough in the religious issues. Therefore, if a slave woman comes to any person and tells him that her master has gifted her to him, then that person could trust the testimony of that slave-girl and have sex with her.}}

*

===Necessity of the 'Iddah while a women is emotionally disturbed after the divorce===

{{Quote|1=[https://www.reddit.com/r/DebateReligion/comments/q8lp7y/comment/hgr5oij/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Reddit]|2="The last thing on a woman's mind after she has got divorced is intimacy. She is mentally disturbed and needs time to come out of this shock"}}

Islamic laws allows the pregnant woman to deliver a child after divorce or becoming a widow (be it only few hours), and then immediately wed to another man. The mental stress issue seems to be irrelevant in that case. Muhammad himself married Saffyah the same night, when in the day her husband was killed, and Muhammad didn't care if she was mentally stressed or emotionally attached with her previous husband.  

Defenders of the traditional Islamic 'iddah claim that a woman has to stay in the house of husband for 3 menstrual cycles during the process of divorce, while this could provide them with the chance to reconcile<ref>Staying in husband's home during the process of divorce.[https://abukhadeejah.com/divorce-talaq-iddah-remarriage-khula/]</ref>. Although the possibility of reconciling and healing the family is noble, no consideration is given to the interest of a woman in a potentially abusive relationship who may want to leave her husbands presence as quickly as possible, and no such restrictions are placed on the man. Moreover, if the triple talaaq was invoked or he had invoked the singular talaaq one time, they cannot get back together after the 'iddah without the semi-legal institution of the halalah or tahleel marriage, precluding family reconciliation altogether. Also not taken into consideration is the possibility that distance and time might solve some of the problems the couple are facing.  

==The Triple Talaaq and 'Iddah==

Traditional Islamic law also allows pronouncing the word "talaaq" طلاق "divorce" in one sitting, which will spare the woman of 3 months restrictions of divorce process. But only the man is allowed divorce in this fashion, women cannot do this. Emotional outbursts of this triple talaaq are still considered valid, and many cases have transpired where the man has divorced his wife in anger and later regretted it, with the only recourse to get the marriage back being the semi-legal institution of the halalah or tahleel marriage.

==The Role of the 'Iddah in the Islamic Marriage==

The Islamic texts speak of "justice" with regards to the relationship between man and woman in a marriage: 

{{Quote|1=[https://quranx.com/4.128?context=3 Quran 4:128-129]|2=And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of '''settlement''' between them (i.e. woman agrees upon leaving some of her rights) … And you will never be able to do '''Justice (Arabic: تَعْدِلُوْا)''' between wives, even if you should strive [to do so].}}

{{Quote|{{Quran|4|3}}|If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal '''JUSTLY (Arabic: تَعْدِلُوا۟)''' with them, then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.}}

Yet troublingly for this idea, the institution of the 'iddah places many difficulties upon the wife in the case of a separation and does not place these same restrictions on the man; this creates an unequal framework for the marriage, where the man may walk away at any time and immediately begin a new life with a new partner, but the woman will be restricted from even seeing her family for months after their separation.  

==Implantation Bleeding Despite Being pregnant==

Islamic du'aah and shaikhs claim that the Islamic 'Iddah of 3 menstrual cycles is correct, while some women have implantation bleeding despite being pregnant, and it is difficult for a woman to differentiate between he periods and the [https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-does-spotting-last#implantation-spotting implantation bleeding]. Yet despite this rule, traditional Islamic law itself stipulates an 'Iddah of a prisoner/slave woman as only one menstrual cycle, in contradiction to this idea. If parentage were the main issue, the status of the woman (free or slave) should not matter. Also the 'Iddah of a free Muslim woman in the case of [[Khul']] is only one period.<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/5163/does-iddah-apply-in-the-case-of-khula 'Iddah in Khul' is one menstrual period]</ref> Even Muhammad himself slept with [[Safiyah]] the same night when her first menstrual blood stopped, after he had murdered her previous husband. Note that Safiyyah was not a slave, but a free woman when Muhammad took her as a wife:  {{Quote|{{Muslim|16|99}}|He (the Holy Prophet) then granted Saffiyyah emancipation and married her. Thabit said to him: Abu Hamza, how much dower did he (the Holy Prophet) give to her? He said: He granted her freedom and then married her. On the way Umm Sulaim embellished her and then sent her to him (the Holy Prophet) at night.}}{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||2893|darussalam}}|Narrated Anas bin Malik: We arrived at Khaibar, and when Allah helped His Apostle to open the fort, the beauty of Safiya bint Huyai bin Akhtaq whose husband had been killed while she was a bride, was mentioned to Allah's Apostle. The Prophet selected her for himself, and set out with her, and when we reached a place called Sidd-as-Sahba,' '''Safiya became clean from her (first) menses then Allah's Apostle took her into his bed.'''}}

==The 'Iddah of Slaves and Women Taken As War Booty==

In spite of the aforementioned claims of concern for the well-being of women, according to traditional [[Fiqh (Islamic Jurisprudence)]] Muslim men are allowed to derive sexual pleasures from the virgin girls taken as war booty during Jihad  without giving them any 'waiting period' to mourn their dead family members. As far as the non-virgin slaves taken as war booty are concerned, if already have husbands, then vaginal coitus is not allowed till they become free of their first menstrual period, but theMuslim mujhaahiduun are allowed to undress them the same night and to take all kinds of other sexual pleasures and sexual favors from them aside from vaginal penetration.