Khadijah bint Khuwaylid: Difference between revisions

[[File:Khadijah bint Khuwaylid.jpg|right|thumb|Khadijah’s “medal” in ''Promptuarii iconum insigniorum'' (1553). Lyon: Rouillé. This illustration made no pretense of being an accurate portrait but it has become a widely accepted symbolic representation of Khadijah.|200px]]

'''Khadijah''' or '''Khadīja bint Khuwaylid''' (خديجة بنت خويلد‎) was Prophet [[Muhammad]]’s first wife and she was his only wife as long as she lived.<ref>Ibn Hisham note 127, note 918. {{Muslim|31|5975}}.</ref> She is known to Muslims as ''al-Kubra'' (“the Great”)<ref>E.g., [http://www.al-islam.org/khadija/ Razwy, S. A. A. (1990). ''Khadija tul Kubra: A Short Story of Her Life''. New York: Tahrike Tarsile Qur'an.]</ref> and ''al-Tahira'' (“the Pure”).<ref>E.g., [http://l.b5z.net/i/u/6103974/f/wives_of_the_prophet.pdf/ Mus’ad, M. F. (2001). ''Wives of the Prophet Muhammad: their Strives and Their Lives'', p. 7. Cairo: Islamic Inc.]</ref> Twelve of [[Muhammad's Wives|Muhammad’s wives]] are credited with the title ''Umm al-Muminun'' (“Mother of the Faithful”),<ref>{{Quran|33|6}}.</ref> but Khadijah occupies a unique position as the Mother of [[Islam]] itself.

==Background==

Khadijah was born in Mecca, a member of the dominant Quraysh tribe. Her grandfather Asad, chief of her clan, was a grandson of Qusayy ibn Kilab, Keeper of the [[Kaaba|Ka’aba]] and ruler of Mecca.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 24, 82.</ref> This Qusayy had also been a great-great-great-grandfather of Muhammad.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 3.</ref> Her mother, Fatima bint Za’ida, was from another Quraysh clan, the Amir ibn Luayy.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> The name ''Khadijah'' means “premature”,<ref>“Khadija” in [http://www.almaany.com/home.php?language=english&lang_name=Arabic&word=Khadija/ Almaany Arabic-English Dictionary]. [http://www.behindthename.com/name/Khadija/ Behind the Name].</ref> suggesting the circumstances of her birth.

The traditions about Khadijah’s early life are scarce and often contradictory. It is generally accepted that she was born “fifteen years before the Elephant” and that she was 65 ([[lunar]]) years old when she died,<ref>E.g., {{Tabari|6|p. 47}}.</ref> indicating a birth date between July 556 and July 557. However, the source of this tradition is Khadijah’s nephew, Hakim ibn Hizam,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9, 11-12. {{Tabari|39|pp. 41, 106}}.</ref> who was one of the many early Muslims who claimed his own age to be 120.<ref>{{Muslim|10|3662}}. See also {{Tabari|39|pp. 40, 43}}, where Huwaytib ibn Abduluzza claims to be 120 years old, yet in the same breath betrays that he cannot count.</ref> By contrast, Abdullah ibn Abbas, the cousin who lived at Muhammad’s side through the final years in [[Medina]],<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 95}}.</ref> stated that “on the day Khadijah married Allah’s Messenger, she was 28 years old.”<ref>[http://qurango.com/images/b/5/293.jpg/ Ibn Kathir, ''Al-Bidaya wa’l-Nihaya'' vol. 5 p. 293]. Majlisi, ''Bihar al-Anwar'' vol. 16 p. 12. Ibn Ishaq, cited in Al-Hakim al-Nishaburi, ''Mustadrak'' vol. 3 p. 182.</ref> If this is correct, she was born between March 568 and March 569. Variant traditions claim other years.<ref>See [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister, M. J. (1993). The Sons of Khadija. ''Jerusalem Studies in Arabic and Islam, 16'', 59-95.]</ref> Whatever her precise date of birth, she was still of childbearing age as late as 605.

Khadijah’s personality is described as “determined and intelligent”.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> Although it is not explicitly stated that her father was a merchant, “the Quraysh were a people given to commerce,”<ref>Guilaume/Ishaq, p. 82.</ref> so Khadijah may have spent her childhood sitting in the bazaars learning to negotiate bargains. Her known siblings were two brothers, Hizam<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 160.</ref> and Al-Awwam,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 115.</ref> two sisters, Ruqayqa<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:180.</ref> and Hala,<ref>{{Bukhari|5|58|168}}</ref> and a paternal half-brother, Nawfal.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 177.</ref> At one stage, there was talk of [[Marriage|marrying]] Khadijah off to her [[Cousin Marriage in Islam|cousin]], Waraqa ibn Nawfal, but this never happened.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9.</ref>

==Husbands==

Khadijah’s first husband was Atiq ibn A’idh (or Abid), a junior member of the Makhzum clan.<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918. Bewley/Saad 8:151.</ref> The Makhzumites had grown wealthy on trade, and their generosity had won them the loyalty of their neighbours. They were now serious contenders for the leadership of the city.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 142-143. See also Bewley/Saad 8:61; {{Tabari|39|p. 196}}.</ref> This match was therefore a step up the social scale for Khadijah, though perhaps a small step if her family also had money. Atiq and Khadijah had two children, suggesting – since Khadijah produced her children within two-year intervals<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10. [http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 36.2/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:36:2].</ref> – that the marriage lasted between two and four years. From their daughter, Hind, Khadijah derived her ''kunya'' Umm Hind.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9. {{Tabari|39|p. 161}}.</ref> Their son, Abdullah,<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref> died in infancy.<ref>[http://www.oocities.org/tirmidhihadith/page1.html/ Tirmidhi 117].</ref> Most sources state that Atiq died,<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 127}}.</ref> although there is a variant tradition that the marriage ended in divorce.<ref>[https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)] summarises these sources, citing Ibn Ishaq, as transmitted by Yunus ibn Bukayr, ''Al-Siyar wa-l-Maghazi'' p. 82, and Majlisi, ''Bihar al-Anwar'' vol. 16 p. 10, for Atiq’s death, and Baladhuri, ''Ansab al-Ashraf'' vol. 1 pp. 406-407, for divorce.</ref>

Khadijah then married a Bedouin nobleman, Malik ibn An-Nabbash, who was from the Tamim tribe. In the way of nomads who aspired to an urban lifestyle, Malik and his two brothers had immigrated to Mecca and formed an alliance with the Abduldar clan of the Quraysh.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9, 151. {{Tabari|9|p. 127}}. {{Tabari|39|p. 79}}.</ref> Given their highborn origins, the Tamim brothers would have interacted with their new allies as equals rather than as vassals. To complete their Meccan citizenship, they sought Quraysh wives, to whom they could offer rank, connections and probably also money. It is interesting that Malik chose Khadijah, for the Asad clan was the traditional rival of Abduldar.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 57.</ref> Their marriage produced three children, suggesting that it lasted between four and six years. From their first son, Hala, Malik took his ''kunya'' Abu Hala.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9. [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)] documents sources in which Malik was also known as Hind and his son Hala was also known as Al-Harith. It was not uncommon for Arabs to be known by alternative and apparently unrelated names.</ref> Their second son was, confusingly, also named Hind.<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918. Bewley/Saad 8:9.</ref> Their daughter, Zaynab,<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref> probably died young, as no more is heard about her, and Khadijah later mentioned that she had borne each of her first two husbands a child who had died in infancy.<ref>[http://www.oocities.org/tirmidhihadith/page1.html/ Tirmidhi 117].</ref>

In contradiction to all this, some sources state that Khadijah married Abu Hala first and Atiq second.<ref>E.g., Bewley/Saad 8:9.</ref> However, a ''kunya'' was usually taken from a firstborn child, indicating that Umm Hind and Abu Hala did not share the same firstborn.

It is not known when or how Abu Hala died, but the Sacrilegious War against the Qays-Aylan tribe dominated the years 591–594.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82. [http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 32.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:32:1]. Strangely, Ibn Hisham note 124 claims an outbreak date as early as 585. Although note 124 was designed to be read immediately after the statement of Ibn Ishaq that it contradicts, there is not a word of explanation for the inconsistency. However, the preliminary hostilities commenced several years before the first full-fledged battle ([http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap2.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 2 pp. 2-5]). One possible explanation is that Ibn Hisham deliberately confused the first informal skirmish (when Muhammad was 14) with the first battle proper (when Muhammad was 20) so that his youth might excuse his lack of prowess in the fighting [http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap2.htm/ (Muir, 1861, pp. 6-7f)].</ref> Khadijah’s brother Hizam was killed in the second round of the conflict,<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 41}}</ref> and their father Khuwaylid, who must have been some sixty years old, was a commander on the field.<ref>Waqidi, ''Kitab al-Maghazi'', cited in [http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap2.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 2 pp. 7f9, 22, 24f28].</ref> After Abu Hala’s death, several prominent citizens proposed marriage to the widowed Khadijah, some of them investing great sums of money into their courtship, but her father vetoed every match.<ref>{{Tabari|6|pp. 48-49}}. [http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:1].</ref>

==Business==

Khadijah was the richest woman in Mecca. This explains why she attracted so many suitors. By the time Abu Hala died, she had become “a merchant woman of dignity and wealth. She used to hire men to carry merchandise outside the country.”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> While the claims that “half the trade in Mecca” belonged to Khadijah<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> are doubtless exaggerated, she may well have been the wealthiest single trader. The traditions do not state in what commodity she dealt, but among the exports of Mecca are mentioned leather, wool, perfume, silver, cheese and dried raisins.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 424, 547, 716. See also Crone, P. (2007). Quraysh and the Roman army: Making sense of the Meccan leather trade. ''Bulletin of SOAS, 70'', 63–88.</ref> Nor is it known how she originally acquired her business. Perhaps her father helped to set her up, but this opens the question of why Khadijah became more prosperous than any of her siblings. If she had a backer not available to them, it was probably one or both of her husbands. Or perhaps the business flourished because of Khadijah’s personal talents and efforts.

Muslim apologists sometimes point to Khadijah’s independence and success as an example of the great opportunities that Islam grants to women. Typical claims cite her as an example of the "vibrant, liberating spirit of early Islam"<ref>"''Khadija, the first wife of the Prophet ... an outstanding female liberating figure in history ... can help us reclaim the vibrant, liberating spirit of early Islam. That alone could go a long way in removing the current image of Muslims among non Muslims.''" - Bandukwala, J. S. “Hazrat Khadija was an outstanding female liberating figure in history,” letter to the editor in ''New Age Islam'', 22 May 2010.</ref> or state that the modern-day justifications for "denying girls an equal chance at success lies in archaic interpretations of religion".<ref>"''For Muslim girls everywhere, Khadijah is one of the first female role models introduced by parents and teachers of religion. A self-made businesswoman … She had already created her own success … The justification for denying girls an equal chance at success lies in archaic interpretations of religion… There is nothing contradictory about being a powerful Muslim female.''" - Saraswati, R. E. (2012). “[http://www.aquila-style.com/focus-points/khadijah-bint-khuwaylid-one-of-the-four-perfect-women/ Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid: Perfect Woman]” in ''Aquila Style''.</ref> These claims are illogical, since Khadijah’s career was established before Islam existed. What it really demonstrates is the opportunities that pre-Islamic Arabs (sometimes) granted to women, who not only mingled freely with men in the market-place but were also respected for doing so. Most merchants were men, but among the women were the very pagan Hind bint Utba<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:165.</ref> and the perfumer Asma bint Mukharriba.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:209.</ref><ref>[http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., Bianquis, T., Bosworth, C. E., van Donzel, E., & Heinrichs, W. P. (Eds.). (2006). '''Encyclopaedia of Islam, 2nd Ed.'' Brill Online.]</ref> After Khadijah died, Muslim women were ordered to stay at home and wear veils,<ref>{{Quran|33|54}}</ref> and it became impossible for an adherent Muslim woman to conduct any such enterprise. Khadijah had no way of knowing that within a decade of her death, her lifestyle would be forbidden to the women of Arabia.

In the spring of 595, Khadijah required a new agent to accompany her camels to Syria. Her brother’s wife’s brother, Abu Talib ibn Abdulmuttalib,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 162, 585. Bewley/Saad 8:29.</ref> recommended the services of his ward, a nephew whom he could no longer afford to keep. Khadijah agreed to hire him for a higher commission than she usually paid.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 34.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:34:2.] Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> His name was Muhammad.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref>

Two months later Muhammad returned to Mecca with merchandise worth nearly double what Khadijah had expected.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 48}}. Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> Goods commonly imported from Syria included grain, oil, wine, weapons, cotton and linen.<ref>Crone, P. (2007). [http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., et al. (Eds.) (2006).]</ref> As Khadijah worked on a profit-share basis,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> she doubled Muhammad’s commission.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> It is said that Khadijah later dispatched him on a second trip, this time to Tihama<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 49}}</ref> in Yemen to import frankincense, myrrh and fine textiles.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 128, 158, 271.</ref> It is not clear whether Khadijah took the unusual step of sending her agent southwards in the heat of summer<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 58. [http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., et al. (Eds.) (2006).] See also {{Quran|106|2}}.</ref> in order to import a near-monopoly; or whether this second venture occurred during a subsequent winter, after Muhammad and Khadijah were already married, and the detail that she “employed” him is an error; or whether the whole timeline has been confused, and these events occurred over a longer timespan than is usually assumed. What is certain is that by the summer of 595, Khadijah had decided to marry her agent.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82; Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref>

When Muhammad told Nafisa that he had always wanted to marry but could not afford it, he was speaking directly from his personal experience. He had hoped to marry his cousin Fakhita, but Abu Talib had prevented it by giving her to a wealthy man and telling Muhammad that the family needed to marry money.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 196}}. Bewley/Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 8:109.</ref> So Muhammad was looking for a wife and was in a frame of mind to consider any reasonable offer. Khadijah’s offer, of course, was beyond reasonable. She was the Arab equivalent of a multi-millionaire, and her patronage was the most extraordinary luck for Muhammad.

Muslim commentators have stressed how Khadijah was a “much older” woman and therefore Muhammad must have been noble and high-minded to marry her for her character rather than her physical charms.<ref>"''The Beloved Holy prophet preferred to have his first marriage with a fifteen years older widow shows [''sic''] how the Beloved Holy Prophet had a value of nobility and character more than anything else.''" - Saleem, H. M. (2012). [http://www.bzu.edu.pk/PJIR/eng%201%20Hafiz%20M.pdf/ Justification of the marriages of the Beloved Holy prophet.] ''Pakistan Journal of Islamic Research, 9'', 1-20.</ref> It would be difficult, however, to prove that Muhammad was attracted only to Khadijah’s character and not to her money. While she was to prove both loyal and sympathetic,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 111</ref> it is not clear that Muhammad had had the opportunity to assess these character-qualities in advance. It is certain that he had had the opportunity to assess her wealth.

Nor is there any reason to assume that Khadijah was physically unattractive. If the report of Abdullah ibn Abbas is correct, she was a mere three years older than Muhammad, which hardly qualifies as an age-difference. While a modern hagiography that describes her as “beautiful, tall and light-skinned”<ref>[http://www.maaref-foundation.com/english/library/pro_ahl/fatima/fatima_the_gracious/03.htm/ Ordoni, Abu M. (1987). ''Fatima the Gracious'', p. 27. Qum: Ansariyan Publications.]</ref> does not cite early sources, the servant Nafisa had also mentioned that she was “beautiful”.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:1].</ref> Even if Nafisa was exaggerating (the word “beautiful” in this context usually means “normal-looking” as opposed to deformed or ugly), she achieved no purpose in telling an outright lie to a man who already knew what Khadijah looked like.

Marriage required the consent of the bride’s guardian, and Khadijah’s father Khuwaylid had refused her previous suitors. She therefore plotted to secure his permission through trickery. She plied her father with wine until he was drunk. Then she slaughtered a cow, covered his shoulders with a new striped robe and sprinkled him with perfume, whereupon Muhammad and his uncles entered the house. Khadijah extracted the legally binding words from her father while he was too inebriated to know what he was saying. As the day wore on and the wedding party was in full swing, Khuwaylid recovered his sobriety enough to ask, “What is this meat, this robe and this perfume?” Khadijah replied, “You have given me in marriage to Muhammad ibn Abdullah.” Khuwaylid was as furious as his daughter had expected, protesting that he had never consented to any such thing and even unsheathing his sword. Muhammad’s kin also brandished weapons before everyone realised that the matter was not worth actual bloodshed. It was too late. Muhammad was Khadijah’s husband.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 49}}. [http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.4/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:4, 5.] See also Guillaume/Ishaq 83 and Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref>

Although the Muslim historian Waqidi denied this embarrassing story (even while reporting it), the British historian Muir points out that nobody had any reason to fabricate it. The tradition is from two independent sources, both of whom were biased in Muhammad’s favour and neither of whom had any reason to disparage Khadijah’s father or his clan. Two further independent sources, without mentioning the drunken party, state that it was Khuwaylid who married Khadijah to Muhammad. Although Waqidi claims that it was Khadijah’s uncle who gave her away because her father had died before the Sacrilegious War (591-594), his pupil Ibn Saad names Khuwaylid as a commander in that war. Muir therefore concludes that the tradition of Khuwaylid’s death “has been invented, to throw discredit on the story of his drunkenness.”<ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap2.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 2 p. 24f]. See also {{Tabari|6|pp. 48-50}}; Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref>

This story also reveals how Khadijah and Muhammad understood consent. It did not need to be “free” or “informed”; any type of consent was legally binding. This theme was to recur in Muhammad’s life. He was to extract consent at sword-point,<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 547.</ref> under duress,<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 314-315. Bewley/Saad 8:87-88.</ref> from an immature or unsound mind,<ref>E.g., Bewley/Saad 8:43.</ref> by withholding essential information,<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 463-464. {{Tabari|39|p. 165}}.</ref> by offering a false dichotomy between two bad alternatives,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:40. Guillaume/Ishaq 493.</ref> by exploiting spiritual beliefs,<ref>[http://altafsir.com/Tafasir.asp?tMadhNo=0&tTafsirNo=74&tSoraNo=33&tAyahNo=36&tDisplay=yes&UserProfile=0/ Jalalayn, ''Tafsir'' Q33:36]. See also {{Quran|33|36}}. {{Bukhari|3|43|648}}, {{Muslim|4|3511}}.</ref> through bribery<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 438; 594-597.</ref> or by making promises that he intended to break.<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 504, 509. Bewley/Saad 8:181-182.</ref> Yet he never suggested there was any kind of ethical problem in extracting consent in whatever manner might succeed; it was the one who consented to Muhammad, no matter how, who was morally obliged to stand by his word.