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User:Lehrasap/Sandbox 1: Difference between revisions
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*'Iddah rulings are illogical, and thus they have contradictions. | *'Iddah rulings are illogical, and thus they have contradictions. | ||
*And all these restrictions of 'Iddah are only targeting the women and only women have to suffer unilaterally, while men are totally free to enjoy their life. | *And all these restrictions of 'Iddah are only targeting the women and only women have to suffer unilaterally, while men are totally free to enjoy their life. | ||
==‘Iddah and the ‘parentage’ of the child== | ==‘Iddah and the ‘parentage’ of the child== | ||
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*What does that have to do with the ‘parentage’ of the child where she stays after the death of her husband? | *What does that have to do with the ‘parentage’ of the child where she stays after the death of her husband? | ||
*Why could she not spend the waiting period in the house of her parents, where she feels comfortable and where she is among the people who love her? This could help her immensely to come out of the sorrow of the death of her husband. | *Why could she not spend the waiting period in the house of her parents, where she feels comfortable and where she is among the people who love her? This could help her immensely to come out of the sorrow of the death of her husband. | ||
*And in the house of her husband, she could be all alone, and she has to live like she is in a 'solitary confinement' like situation, while she is not allowed to leave the house, and she could not come in contact with any man. | *And in the house of her husband, she could be all alone, and she has to live like she is in a 'solitary confinement' like situation, while she is not allowed to leave the house, and she could not come in contact with any man. | ||
*Moreover, it could be a huge mental torture for many women to live for 4 long months (or upto 9 months in case of pregnancy) in the house where their husbands died. | *Moreover, it could be a huge mental torture for many women to live for 4 long months (or upto 9 months in case of pregnancy) in the house where their husbands died. | ||
===She has to stay in the husband’s house, even if it doesn’t belong to her husband, or even if he hasn’t left any maintenance money for the wife=== | ===She has to stay in the husband’s house, even if it doesn’t belong to her husband, or even if he hasn’t left any maintenance money for the wife=== | ||
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*All these restrictions are non-Natural and against the human nature. | *All these restrictions are non-Natural and against the human nature. | ||
*And putting these restrictions 'unilaterally' only upon the women does not constitute to 'doing Justice with the women'. | *And putting these restrictions 'unilaterally' only upon the women does not constitute to 'doing Justice with the women'. | ||
*These restrictions are draconian, and practically putting a woman in a 'solitary confinement' like situation. | *These restrictions are draconian, and practically putting a woman in a 'solitary confinement' like situation. | ||
===Fourth Restriction: She could not even use collyrium/kohl in eyes despite eye disease, while it beautifies her=== | ===Fourth Restriction: She could not even use collyrium/kohl in eyes despite eye disease, while it beautifies her=== | ||
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{{Quote|[https://sunnah.com/mishkat:3333 Mishkat al-Masabih 3333]|Umm Salama said: God’s Messenger came to visit me when Abu Salama died, and I had put the juice of aloes on myself. He asked me what it was, and I told him it was only the juice of aloes and contained no perfume, so he said, “It gives the face a glow, so apply it only at night and remove it in the daytime, and do not comb yourself with scent or henna, for it is a dye.” I asked God’s Messenger what I should use when combing myself, and he told me to use lote-tree leaves and smear my head copiously with them. Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani declared this Hadith to be FAIR (حسن) (link).}}Islam critics question here the Islamic logic, that: | {{Quote|[https://sunnah.com/mishkat:3333 Mishkat al-Masabih 3333]|Umm Salama said: God’s Messenger came to visit me when Abu Salama died, and I had put the juice of aloes on myself. He asked me what it was, and I told him it was only the juice of aloes and contained no perfume, so he said, “It gives the face a glow, so apply it only at night and remove it in the daytime, and do not comb yourself with scent or henna, for it is a dye.” I asked God’s Messenger what I should use when combing myself, and he told me to use lote-tree leaves and smear my head copiously with them. Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani declared this Hadith to be FAIR (حسن) (link).}}Islam critics question here the Islamic logic, that: | ||
* A woman is not coming in any kind of contact with any man during the 'iddah, as she is not allowed to let any non-Mahram man to enter her house, and she is herself not allowed to leave the house. | *A woman is not coming in any kind of contact with any man during the 'iddah, as she is not allowed to let any non-Mahram man to enter her house, and she is herself not allowed to leave the house. | ||
* So, what is wrong if she wear good clothes, and jewelry, and use perfume, and use henna and comb her hairs with oil, and wash her face with aloe in the house, where she is alone, or at maximum with other women? | *So, what is wrong if she wear good clothes, and jewelry, and use perfume, and use henna and comb her hairs with oil, and wash her face with aloe in the house, where she is alone, or at maximum with other women? | ||
* At maximum, the usage of perfume could be restricted in case if she had to leave the house in urgent situation. | *At maximum, the usage of perfume could be restricted in case if she had to leave the house in urgent situation. | ||
===Sixth Restriction: She should give up her Natural needs of getting any emotional support and attention and love from any other partner during the ‘Iddah=== | ===Sixth Restriction: She should give up her Natural needs of getting any emotional support and attention and love from any other partner during the ‘Iddah=== | ||
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*Need of sex is not only limited to men, but it is a natural need of woman too. But Islam does not recognise this right and natural need of a woman, and it has limited it to the man only. Thus, a woman is not allowed to have sex with any partner for this long period of time of ‘Iddah. | *Need of sex is not only limited to men, but it is a natural need of woman too. But Islam does not recognise this right and natural need of a woman, and it has limited it to the man only. Thus, a woman is not allowed to have sex with any partner for this long period of time of ‘Iddah. | ||
*But sex is not the only problem, while divorce or death of husband also comes with extreme emotional stress for the woman. This is exactly the time when some of them may need emotional support and attention from a caring partner the most, who could talk with them and give them love and attention, so that they feel themselves “secure” in the partner's arms. | *But sex is not the only problem, while divorce or death of husband also comes with extreme emotional stress for the woman. This is exactly the time when some of them may need emotional support and attention from a caring partner the most, who could talk with them and give them love and attention, so that they feel themselves “secure” in the partner's arms. | ||
*On the other hand, Muslim men are allowed to have sex with other wives and dozens of slave-girls the same night. There is absolutely no restrictions upon them to even control themselves for even for a single day. | *On the other hand, Muslim men are allowed to have sex with other wives and dozens of slave-girls the same night. There is absolutely no restrictions upon them to even control themselves for even for a single day. | ||
===Seventh Restriction: She could not secure herself and her children financially through relationship with any other partner in the ‘Iddah=== | ===Seventh Restriction: She could not secure herself and her children financially through relationship with any other partner in the ‘Iddah=== | ||
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Islam critics claim that: | Islam critics claim that: | ||
* Muhammad copied this ‘Iddah from the culture of people of Pre-Islam period of ignorance. | *Muhammad copied this ‘Iddah from the culture of people of Pre-Islam period of ignorance. | ||
* And when Muslim women protested upon it, then Muhammad told the women to accept all these Islamic restriction of waiting period | *And when Muslim women protested upon it, then Muhammad told the women to happily accept all these Islamic restriction of waiting period without questioning them, as they last only for 4 months and 10 days, and while they had to stay in 'Iddah for complete one year in the pre-Islamic days. | ||
And as a proof, Islam critics quote the following hadith: | And as a proof, Islam critics quote the following hadith: | ||
{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5336|darussalam}}|Um Salama said that a woman came to Allah's Messenger and said, "O Allah's Messenger ! The husband of my daughter has died and she is suffering from an eye disease. Can she apply collyrium/kohl to her eye?" Allah's Messenger replied, "No," twice or thrice. (Every time she repeated her question) he said,''' "No." Then Allah's Messenger added, "It is just a matter of four months and ten days. In the Pre-Islamic Period of ignorance a widow among you should throw a globe of dung when one year has elapsed (i.e. she had to stay in ‘Iddah for the whole one year)." '''}} | {{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5336|darussalam}}|Um Salama said that a woman came to Allah's Messenger and said, "O Allah's Messenger ! The husband of my daughter has died and she is suffering from an eye disease. Can she apply collyrium/kohl to her eye?" Allah's Messenger replied, "No," twice or thrice. (Every time she repeated her question) he said,''' "No." Then Allah's Messenger added, "It is just a matter of four months and ten days. In the Pre-Islamic Period of ignorance a widow among you should throw a globe of dung when one year has elapsed (i.e. she had to stay in ‘Iddah for the whole one year)." '''}}Islam critics object that this reason (which was given by Muhammad in the above mentioned hadith) is illogical. An oppression does not become legal while it is on smaller scale than the previous larger scale oppression. | ||
== Islam Advocates: Reason for 4 months and 10 days long 'iddah of a widow == | |||
Islam advocates claim that reason for the 4 month and 10 days long 'iddah of a widow is to ''''mourn'''<nowiki/>' the death of the husband<ref>Reason for 4 months 10 days long Iddah of a widow [https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/88684/rights-of-a-deceased-husband-on-his-wife]</ref>. | |||
While Islam critics object upon it while: | |||
*There is no obligation of any “mourning” upon a man if the wife dies. This makes it a double standard situation against the women. | |||
*Husband is totally free to marry a new wife the same night. | |||
*There is no obligation of any “mourning” upon a man if the wife dies. | |||
* | |||
*And he is also totally free to have sex with his other wives and dozens of slave girls the same night, and there is no restriction upon him in name of ‘mourning’. | *And he is also totally free to have sex with his other wives and dozens of slave girls the same night, and there is no restriction upon him in name of ‘mourning’. | ||
* | *Only the woman is compelled to ‘mourn’ the death of her husband. | ||
* | *Only she is deprived of her natural needs of having love with any partner in the name of ‘mourning’, and only she has to undergo the strickt restrictions of 'Iddah. | ||
Moreover, Islamic critics also criticise Islamic Sharia, while it says that a widow has also to observe 'Iddah, even if <ref>Widow has to observe 'Iddah even if she never saw the husband after the marriage, or even if she is a small child. [https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/145179/the-waiting-period-of-an-old-woman-after-the-death-of-her-husband]</ref>: | |||
* She has never seen his husband after the marriage. | |||
* Or even if the marriage has not been consummated. | |||
* Or even if she is a small child. | |||
* Islam critics thus question why should she mourn if she no emotional connection and love for him in her heart? | |||
*What if the husband was abusive and he tortured her when he was alive, and thus she HATED him? This is cruel to still compel a woman for such a long obligatorily waiting period, with so many restrictions. | |||
Therefore, Islam critics point out that Islam could have left it upon the woman: | |||
Therefore, Islam could have left it upon the woman: | |||
*That she could decide for herself if she loved her deceased husband or not. | *That she could decide for herself if she loved her deceased husband or not. | ||
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*That she decides if living in her deceased husband’s house is causing her unnecessary mental stress or not. | *That she decides if living in her deceased husband’s house is causing her unnecessary mental stress or not. | ||
*That she decides for herself if she needs the help and love of her parents and family or not by staying with them. | *That she decides for herself if she needs the help and love of her parents and family or not by staying with them. | ||
*Woman is not a “'''Brainless Creature'''”, who is unable to even decide for the matters which are only related to her and her personal life? | |||
== Islam Advocates: Reason for the 'Iddah of a pregnant woman == | |||
According to the Quran, the waiting period of a pregnant woman is till the birth of a child ([https://quranx.com/65.4 Quran 65:4]). | |||
According to the Quran, the waiting period of a pregnant woman is till the | |||
And then Muhammad further told the '''Scientific LOGIC''' behind this Quranic order: | And then Muhammad further told the '''Scientific LOGIC''' behind this Quranic order: | ||
{{Quote|{{Abudawud||2158|darussalam}}|The Messenger of Allah said: It is not lawful for a man who believes in Allah and the last day '''to water what another has sown with his water (meaning intercourse with a woman who is pregnant from her previous husband).'''}} | |||
Islam critics objects that this is a scientific mistake, while: | |||
* Science is very clear if woman has already become pregnant, then other man could do as much sex as possible, but his sperms are not going to have any effects upon the fetus (i.e. he is not going to water the fetus from previous man). No DNA changes are going to take place in the fetus due to the sex. These were the concepts of times of ignorance, and Muhammad took this concept from them. | |||
Moreover, Islam critics also points out that once again the pregnant woman has to bear the consequences of this practice unilaterally. | |||
*The pregnant woman is alone after the death of her husband, and she is financially very weak. | |||
*What if the deceased husband left no money for her and the baby? | |||
*And it is impossible for her to go to the work outside while carrying the baby in her belly. | |||
*A woman is in a state of extreme emotion during the pregnancy. This is exactly the time when she needs emotional support the most from a partner, who could take care of her, or of her father/mother/family, but she is compelled to stay at the husband's house. | |||
*She is compelled to face all these difficulties 'alone' till the birth of the baby. | |||
Moreover, Islam critics also point out that in principle: | |||
*A pregnant woman should not go for ‘Iddah of even a single day, while the parentage of the child is already known due to her pregnancy. | |||
*If husband could divorce such a pregnant woman and then start having sex with dozens of other slave girls and wives, why then should the pregnant woman be deprived of the emotional support and love and attention and care of the new partner, in a hard time when she needs these things the most? | |||
== Islam Advocates: Reasons for the 'Iddah in case of divorce == | |||
Islam critics point out that: | |||
* | *The whole process of Divorce + ‘Iddah lasts for 6 menstrual cycles for a divorced woman. | ||
* | *If Muslim husband decides to give her a divorce, then woman is still compelled to stay for the next 3 menstrual cycles with him in his house. | ||
*During these 3 months, wife is not allowed to come in contact with any man. And her husband also does not touch her. She is again in a 'solitary confinement' like situation in the house of her husband. | |||
*But the husband is free to have sex with other wives and slave girls during all this time. | |||
*And after the divorce, she again has to undergo a waiting period of 3 more menstrual cycles. But why? What is the logic behind it? There is no issue of parentage of the child either, while her husband didn’t touch her for the last 3 menstrual cycles. And there is no option of reunion of both of them after the divorce, till the time she undergoes the Quranic Halala. So, why is the woman then still forced to undergo solitary confinement like situation for the next 3 more months in the name of ‘Iddah? | |||
=== Islam Advocates: Reason for 3 month divorce Process is to give enough time to the couple to have "settlement" and to save their marriage === | |||
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<br /> | <br /> | ||
===Muslim Excuse: Some women keep on bleeding for three months after conceiving=== | ===Muslim Excuse: Some women keep on bleeding for three months even after conceiving=== | ||
Muslim come up with this excuse that some women keep on bleeding for three months even after conceiving, and thus Islamic ruling of 3 months of 'Iddah in case of divorce is correct. | Muslim come up with this excuse that some women keep on bleeding for three months even after conceiving, and thus Islamic ruling of 3 months of 'Iddah in case of divorce is correct. | ||