Thighing

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The process of thighing (مفاخذة, mufākhadhah) refers to rubbing between the legs as an alternative to sexual intercourse when that is not possible due to age or menstruation.

Ayatollah Khomeini, the founder of the Islamic republic of Iran, wrote of this practice regarding its practice with pre-pubescent children:

ﻣﺴﺄﻟﺔ 12 : ﻻ ﻳﺠﻮﺯ ﻭﻁﺀ ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺟﺔ ﻗﺒﻞ ﺇﻛﻤﺎﻝ ﺗﺴﻊ ﺳﻨﻴﻦ ، ﺩﻭﺍﻣﺎ ﻛﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﻨﻜﺎﺡ ﺃﻭ ﻣﻨﻘﻄﻌﺎ , ﻭ ﺃﻣﺎ ﺳﺎﺋﺮ ﺍﻻﺳﺘﻤﺘﺎﻋﺎﺕ ﻛﺎﻟﻠﻤﺲ ﺑﺸﻬﻮﺓ ﻭ ﺍﻟﻀﻢ ﻭ ﺍﻟﺘﻔﺨﻴﺬ ﻓﻼ ﺑﺄﺱ ﺑﻬﺎ ﺣﺘﻰ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺮﺿﻴﻌﺔ

Ruling # 12: It is not permission to have intercourse before (her) being 9 years old, be it in nikah (permanent marriage) or temporary marriage. And as for all other pleasures such as lustful touch, embracing, and thighing (ﺍﻟﺘﻔﺨﻴﺬ), there is no problem in it even with a suckling infant.
Tahreer al-Waseelah, vol. 2, page 221-222

The practice is also attested to and confirmed by Sunni legal sources. Islamweb.net, one of the largest Fatwa sites on the internet, used to include the following Fatwa as archived by Al-Shamilah library in 2009. The Fatwa on the site now doesn’t mention the kissing and the thighing of a child wife. The original Fatwa said:

فإنه لا حرج في تقبيل الزوجة ‌الصغيرة بشهوة ‌والمفاخذة ونحو ذلك ولو كانت لا تطيق الجماع، وقد بين العلماء رحمهم الله تعالى أن الأصل جواز استمتاع الرجل بزوجته كيف شاء إذا لم يكن ضرر، وذكروا في ذلك استمناءه بيدها ومداعبتها وتقبيلها وغير ذلك

There’s no issue in the sexual kissing, thighing..etc of a child wife, even if she's incapable yet of performing sexual intercourse. Scholars have stated that the default ruling is that a man can enjoy his wife however he wants as long as no harm is caused. The examples they mentioned for this include masturbating with her hand, fondling, kissing, etc.


فتاوى الشبكة الإسلامية، المكتبة الشاملة، ج3 ص8445

The Fatawa of the Islamic web, archived by Al-Maktabah Al-Shamilah library in 2009, vol.3 p.8445

Another Fatwa that's still up on Islamweb.net (as of April 2022) mentions that thighing the child wife is permissible:

السؤال: ما هو حكم مفاخذة الصغار؟

الإجابة: فإن كان المقصود بالسؤال مفاخذة الرجل زوجته الصغيرة فهذا جائز. وأما إن كان المقصود بالسؤال مفاخذة غير الزوجة فهذا محرم سواءً كان المفاخذ صغيراً أو كبيراً ذكراً أو أنثى


Question: What's the ruling on thighing children?.
Answer: If the question refers to the thighing of a child wife by her man then this is permissible. But if the question refers to the thighing of a non-wife then it's forbidden whether it's the thiging of a child or an adult, a male or a female.


حكم مفاخذة الصغار، الشبكة الإسلامية فتوى رقم 77718


Islamweb.net Fatwa no.77718


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