Thighing

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The process of thighing (مفاخذة, mufākhadhah) refers to rubbing between the legs[1] as an alternative to sexual intercourse when that is not possible due to age or menstruation.

Ayatollah Khomeini, the founder of the Islamic republic of Iran, wrote of this practice regarding its practice with pre-pubescent children:

ﻣﺴﺄﻟﺔ 12 : ﻻ ﻳﺠﻮﺯ ﻭﻁﺀ ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺟﺔ ﻗﺒﻞ ﺇﻛﻤﺎﻝ ﺗﺴﻊ ﺳﻨﻴﻦ ، ﺩﻭﺍﻣﺎ ﻛﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﻨﻜﺎﺡ ﺃﻭ ﻣﻨﻘﻄﻌﺎ , ﻭ ﺃﻣﺎ ﺳﺎﺋﺮ ﺍﻻﺳﺘﻤﺘﺎﻋﺎﺕ ﻛﺎﻟﻠﻤﺲ ﺑﺸﻬﻮﺓ ﻭ ﺍﻟﻀﻢ ﻭ ﺍﻟﺘﻔﺨﻴﺬ ﻓﻼ ﺑﺄﺱ ﺑﻬﺎ ﺣﺘﻰ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺮﺿﻴﻌﺔ

Ruling # 12: It is not permission to have intercourse before (her) being 9 years old, be it in nikah (permanent marriage) or temporary marriage. And as for all other pleasures such as lustful touch, embracing, and thighing (ﺍﻟﺘﻔﺨﻴﺬ), there is no problem in it even with a suckling infant.
Tahreer al-Waseelah, vol. 2, page 221-222

The practice is also attested to and confirmed by Sunni legal sources. Islamweb.net, one of the largest Fatwa sites on the internet that includes more than 250 thousand Fatwas, includes the following Fatwa:

السؤال: ما هو حكم مفاخذة الصغار؟

الإجابة: فإن كان المقصود بالسؤال مفاخذة الرجل زوجته الصغيرة فهذا جائز. وأما إن كان المقصود بالسؤال مفاخذة غير الزوجة فهذا محرم سواءً كان المفاخذ صغيراً أو كبيراً ذكراً أو أنثى


Question: What's the ruling on thighing minors?.
Answer: If the question refers to the thighing of a minor wife by her man then this is permissible. But if the question refers to the thighing of a non-wife then it's forbidden whether it's the thiging of a minor or an adult, a male or a female.


حكم مفاخذة الصغار، الشبكة الإسلامية فتوى رقم 77718

Islamweb.net Fatwa no.77718

The following is a Fatwa from the same website archived by Al-Maktabah Al-Shamilah library in 2009. The Fatwa on the site now no longer mentions the kissing and the thiging of a minor. The archived Fatwa says:

فإنه لا حرج في تقبيل الزوجة ‌الصغيرة بشهوة ‌والمفاخذة ونحو ذلك ولو كانت لا تطيق الجماع، وقد بين العلماء رحمهم الله تعالى أن الأصل جواز استمتاع الرجل بزوجته كيف شاء إذا لم يكن ضرر، وذكروا في ذلك استمناءه بيدها ومداعبتها وتقبيلها وغير ذلك

There’s no issue in the sexual kissing, thighing..etc of a minor wife, even if she can't yet endure sexual intercourse. Scholars have stated that the default ruling is that a man can enjoy his wife however he wants as long as no harm is caused. The examples they mentioned for this include masturbating with her hand, fondling, kissing, etc.


فتاوى الشبكة الإسلامية، المكتبة الشاملة، ج3 ص8445

The Fatawa of the Islamic web, archived by Al-Maktabah Al-Shamilah library in 2009, vol.3 p.8445


Another archived fatwa from Islamweb.net that's now deleted from the site:

السؤال: أهلي زوجوني من الصغر صغيرة وقد حذروني من الاقتراب منها ماهو حكم الشرع بالنسبة لي مع زوجتي هذه وما هي حدود قضائي للشهوة منها وشكرا لكم؟

فإذا كانت هذه الفتاة لا تحتمل الوطء لصغرها، فلا يجوز وطؤها لأنه بذلك يضرها، وقد قال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم " لا ضرر ولا ضرار " رواه أحمد وصححه الألباني. وله أن يباشرها، ويضمها ويقبلها، وينزل بين فخذيها، ويجتنب الدبر لأن الوطء فيه حرام، وفاعله ملعون.


Question: My family married me to a female minor and they warned me not to touch her. What’s the ruling regarding me and my wife and what are the limits of pleasuring myself with her?

Answer: If this girl can’t endure sexual intercourse due to her young age, then it’s forbidden to have sex with her because it would harm her. The prophet said: “There is no injury nor return of injury”. The husband can touch her, embrace her, kiss her and ejaculate between her thighs. And he should avoid anal sex because it’s forbidden and the one who does it is cursed.


حكم مفاخذة الصغار، فتاوى الشبكة الإسلامية ج13 ص8798 فتوى رقم 77718

The Fatawa of the Islamic web, archived by Al-Maktabah Al-Shamilah library in 2009, vol.13, p.8798, Fatwa no.23672

External links

  1. Mu'jam Lughat Al-Fuqaha', p445
    ‌المفاخذة: إيلاج الذكر بين فخذي المرأة

    Thighing: Shoving the penis between the thighs of a woman.