Khadijah bint Khuwaylid: Difference between revisions

{{QualityScore|Lead=3|Structure=4|Content=4|Language=4|References=4}}{{Infobox Person|name=Khadījah bint Khuwaylid|image=Khadijah bint Khuwaylid.jpg|caption=Khadijah’s “medal” in ''Promptuarii iconum insigniorum ''(1553). Lyon: Rouillé. This illustration made no pretense of being an accurate portrait but it has become a widely accepted symbolic representation of Khadijah.|date_of_birth=555|place_of_birth=[[Mecca]], Mecca, Hijaz, Arabia (present day Saudi Arabia)|death_date=c. 619 (aged 63-64)|other_names=Khadījah al-Kubra|occupation=Merchant|title=''Umm al-Mu'mineen'' ("Mother of the Believers")|spouse=[[Muhammad ibn Abdullah]]|children=Qasim<br>Abdullah<br>Zainab<br>Fatimah<br>Ruqayyah<br>Umm Kulthum|relations=Khuwaylid ibn Asad<br>Fatimah bint Za'idah}}

'''Khadijah''' or '''Khadīja bint Khuwaylid''' (خديجة بنت خويلد‎) (555 - c.619) was Prophet [[Muhammad]]’s first wife and she was his only wife as long as she lived.<ref>Ibn Hisham note 127, note 918. {{Muslim|31|5975}}.</ref> She is known to Muslims as ''al-Kubra'' (“the Great”)<ref>E.g., [http://www.al-islam.org/khadija/ Razwy, S. A. A. (1990). ''Khadija tul Kubra: A Short Story of Her Life''. New York: Tahrike Tarsile Qur'an.]</ref> and ''al-Tahira'' (“the Pure”).<ref>E.g., [http://l.b5z.net/i/u/6103974/f/wives_of_the_prophet.pdf/ Mus’ad, M. F. (2001). ''Wives of the Prophet Muhammad: their Strives and Their Lives'', p. 7. Cairo: Islamic Inc.]</ref> Twelve of [[Muhammad's Wives|Muhammad’s wives]] are credited with the title ''Umm al-Muminun'' (“Mother of the Faithful”),<ref>{{Quran|33|6}}.</ref> but Khadijah occupies a unique position as ''the'' Mother of [[Islam]] itself.

Khadijah was born in Mecca, a member of the dominant Quraysh tribe. Her grandfather Asad, chief of her clan, was a grandson of Qusayy ibn Kilab, Keeper of the [[Kaaba|Ka’aba]] and ruler of Mecca.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 24, 82.</ref> This Qusayy had also been a great-great-great-grandfather of Muhammad.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 3.</ref> Her mother, Fatima bint Za’ida, was from another Quraysh clan, the Amir ibn Luayy.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> The name ''Khadijah'' means “premature”,<ref>“Khadija” in [http://www.almaany.com/home.php?language=english&lang_name=Arabic&word=Khadija/ Almaany Arabic-English Dictionary]. [http://www.behindthename.com/name/Khadija/ Behind the Name].</ref> suggesting the circumstances of her birth.

The traditions about Khadijah’s early life are scarce and often contradictory. It is generally accepted that she was born “fifteen years before the Elephant” and that she was 65 ([[lunar]]) years old when she died,<ref>E.g., {{Tabari|6|p. 47}}.</ref> indicating a birth date between July 556 and July 557. However, the source of this tradition is Khadijah’s nephew, Hakim ibn Hizam,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9, 11-12. {{Tabari|39|pp. 41, 106}}.</ref> who was one of the many early Muslims who claimed his own age to be 120.<ref>{{Muslim|10|3662}}. See also {{Tabari|39|pp. 40, 43}}, where Huwaytib ibn Abduluzza claims to be 120 years old, yet in the same breath betrays that he cannot count.</ref> By contrast, Abdullah ibn Abbas, the cousin who lived at Muhammad’s side through the final years in [[Medina]],<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 95}}.</ref> stated that “on the day Khadijah married Allah’s Messenger, she was 28 years old.”<ref>[http://qurango.com/images/b/5/293.jpg/ Ibn Kathir, ''Al-Bidaya wa’l-Nihaya'' vol. 5 p. 293]. Majlisi, ''Bihar al-Anwar'' vol. 16 p. 12. Ibn Ishaq, cited in Al-Hakim al-Nishaburi, ''Mustadrak'' vol. 3 p. 182.</ref> If this is correct, she was born between March 568 and March 569. Variant traditions claim other years.<ref>See [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister, M. J. (1993). The Sons of Khadija. ''Jerusalem Studies in Arabic and Islam, 16'', 59-95.]</ref> Whatever her precise date of birth, she was still of childbearing age as late as 605.

Khadijah’s personality is described as “determined and intelligent”.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> Although it is not explicitly stated that her father was a merchant, “the Quraysh were a people given to commerce,”<ref>Guilaume/Ishaq, p. 82.</ref> so Khadijah may have spent her childhood sitting in the bazaars learning to negotiate bargains. Her known siblings were two brothers, Hizam<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 160.</ref> and Al-Awwam,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 115.</ref> two sisters, Ruqayqa<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:180.</ref> and Hala,<ref>{{Bukhari|5|58|168}}</ref> and a paternal half-brother, Nawfal.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 177.</ref> At one stage, there was talk of [[Marriage|marrying]] Khadijah off to her [[Cousin Marriage in Islam|cousin]], Waraqa ibn Nawfal, but this never happened.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9.</ref>

Khadijah then married a Bedouin nobleman, Malik ibn An-Nabbash, who was from the Tamim tribe. In the way of nomads who aspired to an urban lifestyle, Malik and his two brothers had immigrated to Mecca and formed an alliance with the Abduldar clan of the Quraysh.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9, 151. {{Tabari|9|p. 127}}. {{Tabari|39|p. 79}}.</ref> Given their highborn origins, the Tamim brothers would have interacted with their new allies as equals rather than as vassals. To complete their Meccan citizenship, they sought Quraysh wives, to whom they could offer rank, connections and probably also money. It is interesting that Malik chose Khadijah, for the Asad clan was the traditional rival of Abduldar.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 57.</ref> Their marriage produced three children, suggesting that it lasted between four and six years. From their first son, Hala, Malik took his ''kunya'' Abu Hala.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:9. [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)] documents sources in which Malik was also known as Hind and his son Hala was also known as Al-Harith. It was not uncommon for Arabs to be known by alternative and apparently unrelated names.</ref> Their second son was, confusingly, also named Hind.<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918. Bewley/Saad 8:9.</ref> Their daughter, Zaynab,<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref> probably died young, as no more is heard about her, and Khadijah later mentioned that she had borne each of her first two husbands a child who had died in infancy.<ref>[http://www.oocities.org/tirmidhihadith/page1.html/ Tirmidhi 117].</ref>

In contradiction to all this, some sources state that Khadijah married Abu Hala first and Atiq second.<ref>E.g., Bewley/Saad 8:9.</ref> However, a ''kunya'' was usually taken from a firstborn child, indicating that Umm Hind and Abu Hala did not share the same firstborn.

Khadijah was the richest woman in Mecca. This explains why she attracted so many suitors. By the time Abu Hala died, she had become “a merchant woman of dignity and wealth. She used to hire men to carry merchandise outside the country.”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> While the claims that “half the trade in Mecca” belonged to Khadijah<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> are doubtless exaggerated, she may well have been the wealthiest single trader. The traditions do not state in what commodity she dealt, but among the exports of Mecca are mentioned leather, wool, perfume, silver, cheese and dried raisins.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 424, 547, 716. See also Crone, P. (2007). Quraysh and the Roman army: Making sense of the Meccan leather trade. ''Bulletin of SOAS, 70'', 63–88.</ref> Nor is it known how she originally acquired her business. Perhaps her father helped to set her up, but this opens the question of why Khadijah became more prosperous than any of her siblings. If she had a backer not available to them, it was probably one or both of her husbands. Or perhaps the business flourished because of Khadijah’s personal talents and efforts.

Some today point to Khadijah’s independence and success as an example of the great opportunities that Islam grants to women. She is often used as an example of the "vibrant, liberating spirit of early Islam"<ref>"''Khadija, the first wife of the Prophet ... an outstanding female liberating figure in history ... can help us reclaim the vibrant, liberating spirit of early Islam. That alone could go a long way in removing the current image of Muslims among non Muslims.''" - Bandukwala, J. S. “Hazrat Khadija was an outstanding female liberating figure in history,” letter to the editor in ''New Age Islam'', 22 May 2010.</ref> or state that the modern-day justifications for "denying girls an equal chance at success lies in archaic interpretations of religion".<ref>"''For Muslim girls everywhere, Khadijah is one of the first female role models introduced by parents and teachers of religion. A self-made businesswoman … She had already created her own success … The justification for denying girls an equal chance at success lies in archaic interpretations of religion… There is nothing contradictory about being a powerful Muslim female.''" - Saraswati, R. E. (2012). “[http://www.aquila-style.com/focus-points/khadijah-bint-khuwaylid-one-of-the-four-perfect-women/ Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid: Perfect Woman]” in ''Aquila Style''.</ref> However, Khadijah’s career was established before Islam existed. What it really demonstrates is the opportunities that pre-Islamic Arabs (sometimes) granted to women, who not only mingled freely with men in the market-place but were also respected for doing so. Most merchants were men, but among the non-Muslim women of the time were Hind bint Utba<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:165.</ref> and the perfumer Asma bint Mukharriba.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:209.</ref><ref>[http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., Bianquis, T., Bosworth, C. E., van Donzel, E., & Heinrichs, W. P. (Eds.). (2006). '''Encyclopaedia of Islam, 2nd Ed.'' Brill Online.]</ref> After Khadijah died, Muslim women were ordered to stay at home and wear veils,<ref>{{Quran|33|54}}</ref> and it became difficult if not impossible for an adherent Muslim women to conduct any such enterprise.

Two months later Muhammad returned to Mecca with merchandise worth nearly double what Khadijah had expected.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 48}}. Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> Goods commonly imported from Syria included grain, oil, wine, weapons, cotton and linen.<ref>Crone, P. (2007). [http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., et al. (Eds.) (2006).]</ref> As Khadijah worked on a profit-share basis,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> she doubled Muhammad’s commission.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> It is said that Khadijah later dispatched him on a second trip, this time to Tihama<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 49}}</ref> in Yemen to import frankincense, myrrh and fine textiles.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 128, 158, 271.</ref> It is not clear whether Khadijah took the unusual step of sending her agent southwards in the heat of summer<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 58. [http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., et al. (Eds.) (2006).] See also {{Quran|106|2}}.</ref> in order to import a near-monopoly; or whether this second venture occurred during a subsequent winter, after Muhammad and Khadijah were already married, in which case the detail that she “employed” him would be an error; or whether the whole timeline has been confused, and these events occurred over a longer timespan than is usually assumed. What is certain is that by the summer of 595, Khadijah had decided to marry her agent.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82; Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref>

==Muhammad's Decision to Marry Khadija==

Khadijah sent as her intermediary Nafisa bint Umayya, a freedwoman from Abu Hala’s tribe.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10, 172. She is sometimes known matrilinearly as Nafisa bint Munya, suggesting that she was illegitimate.</ref> Nafisa approached Muhammad at the bazaar and asked why he had never married. He replied that he could not afford to support a family. “But if money were no obstacle,” Nafisa persisted, “would you be willing to marry a lady of wealth, rank and beauty?” Muhammad asked which lady of that description would be willing to take him, and Nafisa named Khadijah. Muhammad instantly expressed his willingness.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:1].</ref> When Khadijah next sent for Muhammad, it was to make a formal proposal. She spoke of how his noble ancestry, good reputation and personal honesty rendered him eligible, and offered herself as his wife.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 48}}.</ref>

When Muhammad told Nafisa that he had always wanted to marry but could not afford it, he was speaking directly from his personal experience. He had hoped to marry his cousin Fakhita, but Abu Talib had prevented it by giving her to a wealthy man and telling Muhammad that the family needed to marry money.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 196}}. Bewley/Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 8:109.</ref> So Muhammad was looking for a wife and was in a frame of mind to consider any reasonable offer. Khadijah’s offer, of course, was enticing. She was the Arab equivalent of a multi-millionaire, and her patronage was the most extraordinary luck for Muhammad.

Muslim commentators have stressed how Khadijah was a “much older” woman and therefore Muhammad must have been noble and high-minded to marry her for her character rather than her physical charms.<ref>"''The Beloved Holy prophet preferred to have his first marriage with a fifteen years older widow shows [''sic''] how the Beloved Holy Prophet had a value of nobility and character more than anything else.''" - Saleem, H. M. (2012). [http://www.bzu.edu.pk/PJIR/eng%201%20Hafiz%20M.pdf/ Justification of the marriages of the Beloved Holy prophet.] ''Pakistan Journal of Islamic Research, 9'', 1-20.</ref> It would be difficult, however, to prove that Muhammad was attracted only to Khadijah’s character and not to her money. While she was to prove both loyal and sympathetic,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 111</ref> it is not clear that Muhammad had had the opportunity to assess these character-qualities in advance. It is certain that he had had the opportunity to assess her wealth.

Nor is there any reason to assume that Khadijah was physically unattractive. If the report of Abdullah ibn Abbas is correct, she was a mere three years older than Muhammad, which hardly qualifies as an age-difference. While a modern hagiography that describes her as “beautiful, tall and light-skinned”<ref>[http://www.maaref-foundation.com/english/library/pro_ahl/fatima/fatima_the_gracious/03.htm/ Ordoni, Abu M. (1987). ''Fatima the Gracious'', p. 27. Qum: Ansariyan Publications.]</ref> does not cite early sources, the servant Nafisa had also mentioned that she was “beautiful”.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:1].</ref> Even if Nafisa was exaggerating (the word “beautiful” in this context usually means “normal-looking” as opposed to deformed or ugly), she achieved no purpose in telling a falsehood to a man who already knew what Khadijah looked like.

Khadijah asked for a dower of 20 camels.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82; Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref> Twenty camels would have been worth about £8,000,<ref>Numerous ''ahadith'' such as {{Bukhari|2|24|528}} and {{Muslim|10|3893}} indicate that a camel cost about 80 ''dirhams'', although this varied with the age and health of the camel. Hence 20 camels would be worth 1,600 ''dirhams''. {{Bukhari|5|59|357}} indicates that an annual income of 5,000 ''dirhams'' was a comfortable living, so Khadijah’s dower was equivalent to four months’ (middle-class) income. However, it seems that a frugal person could survive on a ''dirham'' a day ([http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life4/chap25.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 4 p. 156]), so the same sum came to over four years’ wages for a labourer. While it is almost impossible to calculate equivalent prices for such a different culture, the ''dirham'', a silver coin, was the price of a wooden bowl or a ground-sheet ({{Abudawud|9|1637}}) or a cheap necklace ({{Abudawud|14|2704}}), so we might, very roughly, think of a ''dirham'' as £5. A ''dinar'', a gold coin worth 10 ''dirhams'', was the price of a sheep.</ref> which was four times the dower that Muhammad gave to any of his subsequent wives.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 189}}. See also Ibn Hisham note 918. The same 400 ''dirhams'' (£2,000) was also the ransom for a war-captive ({{Abudawud|14|2685}}) or the starting price for a slave ({{Tabari|39|p. 6}}).</ref> This suggests that Khadijah was “worth four women” to him, i.e. that it was part of their marriage contract that he would not take another wife in her lifetime. A poor man like Muhammad would have had some trouble amassing such a hefty gift, even if he returned all the beasts that Khadijah had personally given him (she had paid his commissions in camels).<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 34.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:34:2.]</ref> His good fortune in attracting the wealthiest woman in Mecca must have delighted the investment-seeking Abu Talib, and one can plausibly assume that the family combined resources to raise the dower.

Marriage required the consent of the bride’s guardian, and Khadijah’s father Khuwaylid had refused her previous suitors. She therefore plotted to secure his permission through trickery. She plied her father with wine until he was drunk. Then she slaughtered a cow, covered his shoulders with a new striped robe and sprinkled him with perfume, whereupon Muhammad and his uncles entered the house. Khadijah extracted the legally binding words from her father while he was too inebriated to know what he was saying. As the day wore on and the wedding party was in full swing, Khuwaylid recovered his sobriety enough to ask, “What is this meat, this robe and this perfume?” Khadijah replied, “You have given me in marriage to Muhammad ibn Abdullah.” Khuwaylid was as furious as his daughter had expected, protesting that he had never consented to any such thing and even unsheathing his sword. Muhammad’s kin also brandished weapons, and bloodshed was avoided.Muhammad was now Khadijah’s husband.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 49}}. [http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.4/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:4, 5.] See also Guillaume/Ishaq 83 and Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref>

Although the Muslim historian Waqidi rejected this story (even while reporting it), the British historian Muir points out that nobody had any reason to fabricate it. The tradition is from two independent sources, both of whom were biased in Muhammad’s favour and neither of whom had any reason to disparage Khadijah’s father or his clan. Two further independent sources, without mentioning the drunken party, state that it was Khuwaylid who married Khadijah to Muhammad. Although Waqidi claims that it was Khadijah’s uncle who gave her away because her father had died before the Sacrilegious War (591-594), his pupil Ibn Saad names Khuwaylid as a commander in that war. Muir therefore concludes that the tradition of Khuwaylid’s death “has been invented, to throw discredit on the story of his drunkenness.”<ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap2.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 2 p. 24f]. See also {{Tabari|6|pp. 48-50}}; Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref>

This story highlights the Arab assumption that marriage was a contract between bridegroom and father-in-law in which they transferred the guardianship of a woman. It was somewhat similar to buying a camel: the purchase required the consent of the vendor. Muhammad never questioned this view of marriage. To the end of his life, he was particular about meeting the legal requirement to contract with a guardian;<ref>E.g., see Bewley/Saad 8:63, 65; {{Tabari|39|pp. 178-179}}; Bewley/Saad 8:105.</ref> and explicitly endorsed the transactional nature of the [[mahr]] as being a sort of payment for unlimited sexual access to a woman, even against her will, so long as she consented once in the form of agreeing to marry.  

This story also foreshadows any type of consent Muhammad would go one to consider as legally binding. He was to extract consent at sword-point,<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 547.</ref> under duress,<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 314-315. Bewley/Saad 8:87-88.</ref> from an immature or unsound mind,<ref>E.g., Bewley/Saad 8:43.</ref> by withholding essential information,<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 463-464. {{Tabari|39|p. 165}}.</ref> by offering a choice between two bad alternatives,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:40. Guillaume/Ishaq 493.</ref> by exploiting spiritual beliefs,<ref>[http://altafsir.com/Tafasir.asp?tMadhNo=0&tTafsirNo=74&tSoraNo=33&tAyahNo=36&tDisplay=yes&UserProfile=0/ Jalalayn, ''Tafsir'' Q33:36]. See also {{Quran|33|36}}. {{Bukhari|3|43|648}}, {{Muslim|4|3511}}.</ref> through bribery<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 438; 594-597.</ref> or by making promises that he intended to break.<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 504, 509. Bewley/Saad 8:181-182.</ref>

==Marriage to Muhammad==

Muhammad and Khadijah were married for 25 years. Modern biographies of Khadijah sometimes claim her duties during the first fifteen years of her marriage were "purely those of a housewife and a mother,"<ref>"''During the first fifteen years of her marriage, Khadija’s duties were purely those of a housewife and a mother.''" - Razwy, S. A. A. (1990). ''Khadija-Tul-Kubra: The Wife of the Prophet Muhammed'', p. 146. New York: Tahrike Tarsile Qur’an.</ref> or that she "decided to retire and enjoy a comfortable life with her husband who, on his part, preferred an ascetic life to that of money making."<ref>"''Khadija ... felt no need to keep trading and increasing her wealth; instead, she decided to retire and enjoy a comfortable life with her husband who, on his part, preferred an ascetic life to that of money making.''" - [http://www.al-islam.org/biographies/khadija.htm/ Al-Jibouri, Y. T. (1994). ''Khadija Daughter of Khuwaylid, Wife of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).'']</ref>

These new interpretations, however, do not accord with early records that Muhammad went into partnership with a Makhzumite, Qays ibn Saayib, and sold merchandise in his shop.<ref>Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 4 p. 352.</ref> Since Muhammad was not producing anything by means of a craft, he could only have sold items in Mecca if he had imported them from elsewhere; and if he could pay for imports, he must have been exporting at a profit. In other words, Khadijah’s business continued after their marriage exactly as it had beforehand.

This circumstance explains a great deal about Muhammad’s relationship with Khadijah. His assertion that Khadijah “spent her wealth for me”<ref>Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 6 pp. 117-118.</ref> indicates his keen awareness that the money was hers and not his. However important his managerial position in the family firm, and however generously Khadijah shared her wealth, she remained in control of her own money. Muhammad was effectively his wife’s employee. That he allowed Khadijah to make all their major decisions, in this light, is less surprising.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 313.</ref>

Her regular childbearing and fidelity to Muhammad and numerous other accounts of his quickness to “draw close to her” for comfort,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 106</ref> are described in the traditions.There even seems to have been a manner in which Khadija employed sex to distract him from his troubles.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 107; {{Tabari|6|p. 73}}.</ref> All this would appear to suggest that their marriage was a functional one, and there is little reason to believe that Muhammad would have had to have some sort of exceptional virtue to have been successful within it.

Khadijah’s two sons lived with Muhammad for several years,<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 127}}. Note that Tabari assumes that Hind was a girl (''Hind'' and ''Hala'' were both unisex names, though more common for females), which only adds to the general confusion.</ref> and it is known that he liked to play with children.<ref>{{Bukhari|8|73|151}}. See also {{Bukhari|8|73|150}}.</ref> Of Hala it is recalled that “the Prophet arose and saw Hala in his room. He pressed him to his breast and uttered joyously: ‘Hala, Hala, Hala!’”<ref>Ibn Hajar, ''Al-Isaba'' 6:516:8919, cited in [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)].</ref> Little more than this account is available in the traditional sources. Hala was later killed in a street-brawl after he challenged a man who had insulted Muhammad.<ref>Baladhuri, ''Ansab al-Ashraf''; Ibn Hajar, ''AI-Isaba'' 1:604:1501; both cited in [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)].</ref> This was probably before Islam,<ref>{{Tabari|39|pp. 79-80}}.</ref> as the Muslims never suggested that their Prophet’s own stepson had been martyred for the cause.

The younger stepson, Hind, reminisced to his nephew, Hussayn ibn Ali, that Muhammad's "blessed face shone like the full moon… His modest habit was to look at something without staring... He greeted whomever he met ... He was not short-tempered, nor did he embarrass anyone…", and so on.<ref>"''[Muhammad’s] blessed face shone like the full moon… His modest habit was to look at something without staring... He greeted whomever he met ... He was not short-tempered, nor did he embarrass anyone… When he became angry with someone, he turned his face away from that person and either ignored him or forgave him. When he was happy due to humility it seemed as if he had closed his eyes. His laugh was mostly a smile, when his blessed front teeth glittered like white shining hailstones.''" - [http://www.hadithcollection.com/shama-iltirmidhi/269-shama-il-tirmidhi-chapter-01-the-noble-features-of-rasoolullah/191-shama-il-tirmidhi-chapter-001-hadith-number-007-007.html/ Tirmidhi, ''Shama’il'' 1:7]; [http://www.hadithcollection.com/shama-iltirmidhi/301-shama-il-tirmidhi-chapter-33-the-speech-of-rasoolullah/431-shama-il-tirmidhi-chapter-033-hadith-number-003-215.html/ Tirmidhi, ''Shama’il'' 33:3.]</ref>  Hind’s affection for his stepfather was likely real; there is no evidence of any conflict between them. However, he gave this memoir – and much more in similar vein – long after the Islamic empire was established, when only good things could be spoken of Muhammad; and he did not include any specific events from his childhood. It is clear that Hind was never in Muhammad’s inner circle. His name does not appear in Ibn Hisham’s recension of Ibn Ishaq’s ''Sirat'', which lists all the early converts and describes, name by name, the doings of the emigrants in Medina. Nor does he appear in the ''ahadith'' covering that period. This suggests that he did not become a Muslim until  perhaps the conquest of Mecca in 630, when Muhammad appointed him a governor in Yemen.<ref>{{Tabari|3|pp. 228-230, 318-321, 328}}; Ibn Hajar, ''Al-Isaba'' 3:515:3258; both cited in [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)].</ref> The distant location of this post would have continued to keep him away from Muhammad’s intimate affairs. Hind died after 656 at Basra in Syria. “The market was cancelled that day, and there was no loading or unloading of ships.”<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 80}}.</ref> He had at least one son, also named Hind; but it is again reported that no descendants survived to the time of writing.<ref>Ibn al-Kalbi, ''Jamharat al-Nasabi'', cited in [https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/sites/default/files/khadija.pdf&embedded=true/ Kister (1993)].</ref>

In addition to their biological children, Muhammad and Khadijah freed and adopted their slave-boy, Zayd ibn Haritha. Zayd was from the Udhra tribe. At a young age he was kidnapped by slave-traders and sold on the slave-market for 400 ''dirhams'' (about £2,000). He was purchased by Khadijah’s nephew, who made her a present of him. When it became clear that Muhammad and Khadijah would not have a son of their own, Muhammad took Zayd to the steps of the Ka’aba and declared before the assembled citizens that he took Zayd to be his heir.<ref>{{Tabari|39|pp. 6-9}}.</ref> Muhammad kept Zayd close to him<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 115; 314-315. {{Tabari|7|p. 8}}. {{Bukhari|4|53|324}}. {{Abudawud|12|2271}}. {{Muslim|8|3441}}.</ref> and conferred many small favours on him,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 186; 308; 364; 660; 662; 664. {{Tabari|7|16}}. Bewley/Saad 8:72. {{Bukhari|5|59|562}}.</ref> although when the two eventually had a conflict of interest, it appears that Muhammad ignored Zayd’s rights in favor of himself.<ref>See {{Tabari|8|pp. 1-4}}.</ref>

Modern hagiographers sometimes claim that the virtuous Khadijah, "unlike her people, never believed in nor worshipped idols." <ref>"''One particular quality in Khadija was quite interesting, probably more so than any of her other qualities mentioned above: she, unlike her people, never believed in nor worshipped idols.''" - [http://www.al-islam.org/masoom/bios/khadija.htm/ Al-Jibouri, Y. T. (1994). ''Khadija Daughter of Khuwaylid, Wife of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).'']</ref>, however early sources state seem to tell a different story. They suggest that Khadijah kept in her house an idol of Al-Uzza, a virgin star-goddess who was the patroness of Mecca and was supposed to be powerful in war.<ref>[http://www.pantheon.org/areas/mythology/other/articles.html/ “Al-Uzza” in ''Encyclopaedia Mythica''].</ref><ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Al-Kalbi/uzza.htm/ Al-Kalbi, ''The Book of Idols'', pp. 16-29.]</ref><ref>[http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1691&Itemid=109/ Ibn Kathir, ''Tafsir'' on Quran 53:19–26.]</ref> The family used to worship it just before bedtime.<ref>Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 4 p. 222.</ref> Muhammad sometimes sacrificed a white sheep to the goddess,<ref>[http://answering-islam.org/Books/Al-Kalbi/uzza.htm/ Al-Kalbi, pp. 16-17.]</ref> and Khadijah sacrificed two kids at the birth of each son and one at the birth of each daughter.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 36.2/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:36:2].</ref> When Muhammad complained of the Evil Eye, Khadijah used to send for an elderly sorceress to charm it away.<ref>Yunus ibn Bakayr from Ibn Ishaq, cited in [http://books.google.com.au/books?id=tNHnAAAAIAAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_vpt_buy#v=onepage&q&f=false/ Guillaume, A. (1960). ''New Light on the Life of Muhammad'', p. 7. Manchester: Manchester University Press.]</ref> In 605 a severe flood damaged the Ka’aba, and the principal citizens of Mecca cooperated to rebuild it. Muhammad played a prominent part by arbitrating a dispute over who should have the honour of reinstalling the [[Black Stone]]<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 84-86.</ref>, not showing any disapproval in this instance of the 360 idols the Ka'aba housed at the time.

However, at an unspecified date and for an unknown reason, Muhammad and Khadijah became disillusioned with their traditional religion. Muhammad and his son Zayd came under the influence of the outspoken monotheist Zayd ibn Amr al-Adiyi, who told them that he never ate meat offered to idols. Muhammad then decided that he too would never again sacrifice to Al-Uzza.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 99. See also {{Bukhari|7|67|407}}; {{Bukhari|5|58|169}}. Variant forms of this ''hadith'' are cited in [http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/content/bag-meat-study-early-%E1%B8%A5ad%C4%ABth/ Kister, M. J. (1970). “A Bag of Meat.” A Study of an Early Hadith. ''Bulletin of the School of Oriental and African Studies, 33'', 267-75.] Ibn Ishaq (Guillaume, pp. 102-103) describes how Zayd ibn Amr was eventually murdered. Although the culprit was never discovered, Ibn Ishaq apparently suspected Zayd’s half-brother, Al-Khattab ibn Nufayl, the father of Caliph Umar.</ref> Finally he confessed his unbelief to Khadijah. She replied by telling him to “Leave Al-Lat and leave Al-Uzza.”<ref>"''A neighbour of Khadijah bint Khuwaylid heard the Prophet say, “O Khadija! By Allah, I do not worship Al-Lat or Al-Uzza. By Allah, I do not worship [them] at all.” Khadijah replied, “Leave Al-Lat and leave Al-Uzza.” He [the neighbour] said this was their idol, which they all used to worship, after which they would lie down to sleep.''" - Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 4 p. 222.</ref> (Al-Lat was an earth-mother goddess who was revered in Ta’if.)<ref>[http://www.pantheon.org/articles/a/allat.html/ “Allat” in ''Encyclopaedia Mythica''.]</ref><ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Al-Kalbi/allat.htm/ Al-Kalbi, ''The Book of Idols'', pp. 14-15.]</ref> Her acceptance of her husband’s apostasy from their traditional religion suggests that Khadijah in her turn had already lost faith.

Muhammad took to meditating in caves, often leaving his family for days at a time to focus on his devotions.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 105.</ref> In August 610, when he was 39 years old, these meditations were interrupted by an experience that terrified him.<ref>It could have been an epileptic fit, a psychotic episode or an ordinary nightmare. Since he was alone, there is no way to know.</ref> He staggered home to Khadijah under the conviction that he had seen the angel Jibreel (Gabriel) and that he was demon-possessed.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 106.</ref> Khadijah wrapped him in a blanket and consoled him. She did not believe that Muhammad could be possessed. “Allah would not treat you thus since he knows your good character. So rejoice and be glad! I have hope that you will be the prophet of this community.” Then she put on her cloak and took Muhammad to consult her cousin Waraqa.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 106-107. {{Tabari|6|p. 72}}.</ref>

It was not Waraqa whose confidence moved Muhammad to discard his terrors and believe in his own mission, but Khadijah herself.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 112.</ref> Within hours of deducing that her husband was a prophet, she secured the conversion of her next-door neighbour.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 201}}.</ref> When he next announced that Jibreel was in the room, Khadijah tested the visitor (whom she could not see) by standing in his supposed line of vision, and stripping naked. Muhammad then reported that Jibreel had departed, and Khadijah declared that Jibreel’s modesty was a certain sign that he was an angel and not a demon.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 107. {{Tabari|6|p. 73}}. The sanitised version of this story, in which Khadijah merely removes her veil, is unlikely to be the correct one, as Khadijah died long before the veil was mandated. The mere removal of a veil would not have shocked anyone at that early date – assuming that a lady sitting indoors was even wearing one.</ref>

Muhammad never again mentioned being afraid of the angel. Thenceforth he reported regular visits from Jibreel, who brought new revelations from Allah.<ref>{{Bukhari|1|1|3}}. {{Bukhari|6|60|478}}. Guillaume/Ishaq 111-112.</ref> One of the earliest messages concerned the correct ritual for the five daily prayers. After this Muhammad was often to be seen in full public view, first abluting then standing face to the Ka’aba to pray, with Ali at his side and Khadijah a pace behind them.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 112-114. Bewley/Saad 8:11.</ref> Their four daughters and Zayd were also among the earliest converts.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 114-115, 313-314.</ref> Shortly thereafter Abu Bakr would convert, beckoning a new era of Muhammad's mission.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 114-117.</ref>

==The Persecution==

More questions about Khadijah’s family arise over Abu Bakr’s purchase and manumission of seven mistreated slaves,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 144.</ref> among them Al-Nahdiya bint Habib and her (unnamed) daughter. The story is told of how Al-Nahdiya’s mistress swore never to free them, of how quickly she changed her mind when she heard Abu Bakr’s ransom-offer, and how they dutifully postponed accepting their freedom until they had finished grinding their ex-mistress’s flour.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 144.</ref> But the usual retellings of this story omit one important detail: Al-Nahdiya was Khadijah’s own grand-niece. Khadijah’s sister Ruqayqa had a daughter named Umayma bint Abdullah.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:1, 180.</ref> There was something irregular about Umayma’s married life: “she went to a foreigner” (whatever this expression means) and married a man from Ta’if. The daughter of this union was the slave Al-Nahdiya bint Habib.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:180-181. Umayma appears not to have become a Muslim until the conquest of Mecca in 630, hence she was not persecuted.</ref> What is more, Al-Nahdiya’s owner belonged to the rival Abduldar clan.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 144.</ref> It is not clear whether Umayma herself had been for some reason reduced to slavery or whether it was only her daughter, perhaps deemed in some way illegitimate, who was in bondage. Either way, Khadijah could have easily afforded to ransom her nieces if she had wanted to; since she did not, there must have been some social disgrace or personal grudge associated with Al-Nahdiya’s situation that made Khadijah unwilling to help her. For that matter, no other family member helped either. Since the exact chronology of these events is unknown, it is difficult to discern whether there was any connection between Nawfal’s trick with the rope and Abu Bakr’s ransom of Nawfal’s embarrassing nieces. Indeed, it is difficult to calculate overall how much of the harassment of Muslims was due to Islam and how much might be attributed to old quarrels from pre-Islamic times. It is isimilarly unclear how many of these stories of harassment were later inventions of Muslims seeking to galvanize their past, but so is the case with perhaps the entirety of the hadith collection.

After the conversions of two famously violent citizens, Hamza ibn Abdulmuttalib<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 131-132.</ref> and Umar ibn Al-Khattab,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 155-159.</ref> the ruling clans of Mecca declared a boycott. This boycott was against Muhammad’s entire clan, including its non-Muslims. Thenceforth no Meccan might trade, socialise or intermarry with the Hashimites.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 159-160.</ref> The clan inferred that they had been condemned to outlaw status and would not be protected against theft or violence. Fearing worse hostility to follow, in September 616 Abu Talib evacuated the Hashimites from Mecca proper. They camped out in a mountain gorge “formed by one of the defiles, or indentations of the mountain, where the projecting rocks of [Mount] Abu Cobeis pressed upon the eastern outskirts of Mecca. It was entered on the city side by a low gateway, through which a camel passed with difficulty. On all other sides it was detached from the town by cliffs and buildings.”<ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap5.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 2 pp. 176-178.]</ref> Such a narrow entrance could be constantly guarded, leaving the Hashimites safe but effectively trapped.

==Co-Wives==

Muhammad's fidelity to Khadijah is often referenced as a positive aspect of the Islamic tradition. It is described as the "prime time of his youth and constitutes two-thirds of his marriage life,"<ref>"''His first marriage was with Khadija. He lived with her alone for twenty-five years. It was the prime time of his youth and constitutes two-thirds of his marriage [''sic''] life.''" - Al-Jibouri, Y. T. (1994). “[http://www.al-islam.org/muhammad-yasin-jibouri/8.htm/ Marriages of the Prophet]” in ''Muhammad: The Prophet and Messenger of Allah. Qum, Iran: Ansariyan Publications.''</ref> and it is stated that it "should be noted by those who criticise him for his polygamy in later years."<ref>"''The Prophet did not marry another woman during his first marriage with Khadija, is a fact that should be noted by those who criticise him for his polygamy in later years.''" - [http://www.bzu.edu.pk/PJIR/eng%201%20Hafiz%20M.pdf/ Saleem (2012)]</ref>

In one sense this is true. For example, when the Quraysh chiefs wanted to end the boycott, they offered Muhammad “as many wives as he wanted in marriage,” together with wealth, political power and a competent exorcist, if only he would stop reviling their gods. Muhammad scorned this bribe.<ref>{{Tabari|6|pp. 106-107}}. See also Guillaume/Ishaq 132-133.</ref> In this case, however, his loyalty to Khadijah can scarcely be disentangled from his loyalty to his own prophetic office. He responded to Khadijah’s support with a (perhaps nepotistic) revelation that the Virgin Mary had been the best woman of her generation while Khadijah was the best woman of the present generation.<ref>[http://www.searchtruth.com/book_display.php?book=55&translator=1&start=91&number=633/ Bukhari|4|55|642]. {{Bukhari|5|58|163}}. {{Muslim|31|5965}}.</ref> He claimed that although there were many perfect men, there had only ever been only three perfect women: Asiya “wife of Pharaoh,” who had rescued the infant Moses; Mary the virgin mother of the Prophet Jesus; and Khadijah. He later allowed that their daughter Fatima was also one of the four “best among the women of Paradise.”<ref>[http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1298&Itemid=122/ Ibn Kathir, ''Tafsir''] on {{Quran|66|11}}. See also {{Muslim|31|5966}}. He never called any of his other wives or daughters “perfect”, not even his fourth divine spouse, Kulthum the sister of Moses.</ref> How his three elder daughters reacted to such open favouritism is not recorded. When Khadijah once brought Muhammad a bowl of soup, she was granted a personal message from Jibreel (of which Aisha was later intensely jealous): “Give her Allah’s greeting and the good news that in Paradise she will have a palace built of a hollow pearl, where there will be no noise or fatigue.”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 111. Ibn Hisham note 148. {{Bukhari|3|27|19}}. {{Bukhari|5|58|167}}. {{Bukhari|5|58|168}}. {{Bukhari|9|93|588}}. {{Muslim|31|5967}}. {{Muslim|31|5968}}. {{Muslim|31|5970}}.</ref>

Yet despite this loyalty to Khadijah, it was exactly in this period of his life when Muhammad pronounced verses that strongly suggested that he was thinking about other women.After 614 he introduced to his descriptions of Paradise the “modest ''houris''” (virgins) with “lustrous eyes” and “swelling breasts” who reclined “like pearls or rubies” on “green cushions”.<ref>{{Quran|38|52}}. {{Quran-range|56|22|23}}. {{Quran-range|37|48|49}}. {{Quran|44|54}}. {{Quran|52|20}}. {{Quran|78|33}}.</ref> According to Muir, all of the Qur’anic descriptions of ''houris'' date to the last few years of Khadijah’s life; after Muhammad moved to Medina, remarried to a younger woman, there were only two brief and tame references<ref>{{Quran|2|25}}. {{Quran|4|57}}.</ref> to “companions pure”.<ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap4.htm/ Muir (1861) 2:141-144]. See also [http://www.muhammadanism.org/Canon_Sell/Quran/p024.htm/ Sell, E. (1923). ''The Historical Development of the Qur'an'', 4th Ed, pp. 25-26. London: People International.]</ref> Muir might have miscalculated, as the most detailed reference to the divine virgins<ref>{{Quran-range|55|56|58}} {{Quran-range|55|70|76}}.</ref> is sometimes dated to the Medina period,<ref>[http://www.wikiislam.net/wiki/Chronological_Order_of_the_Qur'an]</ref> although the German historian Nöldeke assigned even this one to Khadijah’s lifetime.<ref>[http://www.truthnet.org/islam/Watt/Chapter7.html/ Bell, R. (1953). Introduction to the Qur’an. Revised by Montgomery Watt (1970). Chapter 7: “The Chronology of the Qur’an.” Edinburgh University Press.]</ref> Regardless of the exact date when Muhammad eventually shifted his focus, it is certain that the ageing Khadijah knew about the ''houris''.

*[[Muhammad's Wives]]'' - A hub page that leads to other articles related to Muhammad's wives and concubines''

[[Category:Islam and Women]]