Khadijah bint Khuwaylid: Difference between revisions

Khadijah is said to have come from a trading family and, before [[Marriage|marrying]] Muhammad, had been a successful business woman of some standing, and it was as a result being her employee that Muhammad came to know Khadijah and ultimately marry her. It is also believed that she had two husbands, with whom she had multiple children, prior to Muhammad. Little else is known about her life prior to this final marriage.

Khadijah was the richest woman in Mecca. This explains why she attracted so many suitors. By the time Abu Hala died, she had become “a merchant woman of dignity and wealth. She used to hire men to carry merchandise outside the country.”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> While the claims that “half the trade in Mecca” belonged to Khadijah<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> are doubtless exaggerated, she may well have been the wealthiest single trader. The traditions do not state in what commodity she dealt, but among the exports of Mecca are mentioned leather, wool, perfume, silver, cheese and dried raisins.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 424, 547, 716. See also Crone, P. (2007). Quraysh and the Roman army: Making sense of the Meccan leather trade. ''Bulletin of SOAS, 70'', 63–88.</ref> Nor is it known how she originally acquired her business. Perhaps her father helped to set her up, but this opens the question of why Khadijah became more prosperous than any of her siblings. If she had a backer not available to them, it was probably one or both of her husbands. Or perhaps the business flourished because of Khadijah’s personal talents and efforts.

Some today point to Khadijah’s independence and success as an example of the great opportunities that Islam grants to women. She is often used as an example of the "vibrant, liberating spirit of early Islam"<ref>"''Khadija, the first wife of the Prophet ... an outstanding female liberating figure in history ... can help us reclaim the vibrant, liberating spirit of early Islam. That alone could go a long way in removing the current image of Muslims among non Muslims.''" - Bandukwala, J. S. “Hazrat Khadija was an outstanding female liberating figure in history,” letter to the editor in ''New Age Islam'', 22 May 2010.</ref> or state that the modern-day justifications for "denying girls an equal chance at success lies in archaic interpretations of religion".<ref>"''For Muslim girls everywhere, Khadijah is one of the first female role models introduced by parents and teachers of religion. A self-made businesswoman … She had already created her own success … The justification for denying girls an equal chance at success lies in archaic interpretations of religion… There is nothing contradictory about being a powerful Muslim female.''" - Saraswati, R. E. (2012). “[http://www.aquila-style.com/focus-points/khadijah-bint-khuwaylid-one-of-the-four-perfect-women/ Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid: Perfect Woman]” in ''Aquila Style''.</ref> However, Khadijah’s career was established before Islam existed. What it really demonstrates is the opportunities that pre-Islamic Arabs (sometimes) granted to women, who not only mingled freely with men in the market-place but were also respected for doing so. Most merchants were men, but among the non-Muslim women of the time were Hind bint Utba<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:165.</ref> and the perfumer Asma bint Mukharriba.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:209.</ref><ref>[http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., Bianquis, T., Bosworth, C. E., van Donzel, E., & Heinrichs, W. P. (Eds.). (2006). '''Encyclopaedia of Islam, 2nd Ed.'' Brill Online.]</ref> After Khadijah died, Muslim women were ordered to stay at home and wear veils,<ref>{{Quran|33|54}}</ref> and it became difficult if not impossible for an adherent Muslim women to conduct any such enterprise.

Two months later Muhammad returned to Mecca with merchandise worth nearly double what Khadijah had expected.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 48}}. Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> Goods commonly imported from Syria included grain, oil, wine, weapons, cotton and linen.<ref>Crone, P. (2007). [http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., et al. (Eds.) (2006).]</ref> As Khadijah worked on a profit-share basis,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref> she doubled Muhammad’s commission.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> It is said that Khadijah later dispatched him on a second trip, this time to Tihama<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 49}}</ref> in Yemen to import frankincense, myrrh and fine textiles.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 128, 158, 271.</ref> It is not clear whether Khadijah took the unusual step of sending her agent southwards in the heat of summer<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 58. [http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., et al. (Eds.) (2006).] See also {{Quran|106|2}}.</ref> in order to import a near-monopoly; or whether this second venture occurred during a subsequent winter, after Muhammad and Khadijah were already married, in which case the detail that she “employed” him would be an error; or whether the whole timeline has been confused, and these events occurred over a longer timespan than is usually assumed. What is certain is that by the summer of 595, Khadijah had decided to marry her agent.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82; Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref>

==Muhammad's Decision to Marry Khadija==

When Muhammad told Nafisa that he had always wanted to marry but could not afford it, he was speaking directly from his personal experience. He had hoped to marry his cousin Fakhita, but Abu Talib had prevented it by giving her to a wealthy man and telling Muhammad that the family needed to marry money.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 196}}. Bewley/Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 8:109.</ref> So Muhammad was looking for a wife and was in a frame of mind to consider any reasonable offer. Khadijah’s offer, of course, was enticing. She was the Arab equivalent of a multi-millionaire, and her patronage was the most extraordinary luck for Muhammad.

Muslim commentators have stressed how Khadijah was a “much older” woman and therefore Muhammad must have been noble and high-minded to marry her for her character rather than her physical charms.<ref>"''The Beloved Holy prophet preferred to have his first marriage with a fifteen years older widow shows [''sic''] how the Beloved Holy Prophet had a value of nobility and character more than anything else.''" - Saleem, H. M. (2012). [http://www.bzu.edu.pk/PJIR/eng%201%20Hafiz%20M.pdf/ Justification of the marriages of the Beloved Holy prophet.] ''Pakistan Journal of Islamic Research, 9'', 1-20.</ref> It would be difficult, however, to prove that Muhammad was attracted only to Khadijah’s character and not to her money. While she was to prove both loyal and sympathetic,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 111</ref> it is not clear that Muhammad had had the opportunity to assess these character-qualities in advance. It is certain that he had had the opportunity to assess her wealth.

Nor is there any reason to assume that Khadijah was physically unattractive. If the report of Abdullah ibn Abbas is correct, she was a mere three years older than Muhammad, which hardly qualifies as an age-difference. While a modern hagiography that describes her as “beautiful, tall and light-skinned”<ref>[http://www.maaref-foundation.com/english/library/pro_ahl/fatima/fatima_the_gracious/03.htm/ Ordoni, Abu M. (1987). ''Fatima the Gracious'', p. 27. Qum: Ansariyan Publications.]</ref> does not cite early sources, the servant Nafisa had also mentioned that she was “beautiful”.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:1].</ref> Even if Nafisa was exaggerating (the word “beautiful” in this context usually means “normal-looking” as opposed to deformed or ugly), she achieved no purpose in telling a falsehood to a man who already knew what Khadijah looked like.

==Controversial Wedding==

Khadijah asked for a dower of 20 camels.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82; Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref> Twenty camels would have been worth about £8,000,<ref>Numerous ''ahadith'' such as {{Bukhari|2|24|528}} and {{Muslim|10|3893}} indicate that a camel cost about 80 ''dirhams'', although this varied with the age and health of the camel. Hence 20 camels would be worth 1,600 ''dirhams''. {{Bukhari|5|59|357}} indicates that an annual income of 5,000 ''dirhams'' was a comfortable living, so Khadijah’s dower was equivalent to four months’ (middle-class) income. However, it seems that a frugal person could survive on a ''dirham'' a day ([http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life4/chap25.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 4 p. 156]), so the same sum came to over four years’ wages for a labourer. While it is almost impossible to calculate equivalent prices for such a different culture, the ''dirham'', a silver coin, was the price of a wooden bowl or a ground-sheet ({{Abudawud|9|1637}}) or a cheap necklace ({{Abudawud|14|2704}}), so we might, very roughly, think of a ''dirham'' as £5. A ''dinar'', a gold coin worth 10 ''dirhams'', was the price of a sheep.</ref> which was four times the dower that Muhammad gave to any of his subsequent wives.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 189}}. See also Ibn Hisham note 918. The same 400 ''dirhams'' (£2,000) was also the ransom for a war-captive ({{Abudawud|14|2685}}) or the starting price for a slave ({{Tabari|39|p. 6}}).</ref> This suggests that Khadijah was “worth four women” to him, i.e. that it was part of their marriage contract that he would not take another wife in her lifetime. A poor man like Muhammad would have had some trouble amassing such a hefty gift, even if he returned all the beasts that Khadijah had personally given him (she had paid his commissions in camels).<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 34.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:34:2.]</ref> His good fortune in attracting the wealthiest woman in Mecca must have delighted the investment-seeking Abu Talib, and one can plausibly assume that the family combined resources to raise the dower.

Marriage required the consent of the bride’s guardian, and Khadijah’s father Khuwaylid had refused her previous suitors. She therefore plotted to secure his permission through trickery. She plied her father with wine until he was drunk. Then she slaughtered a cow, covered his shoulders with a new striped robe and sprinkled him with perfume, whereupon Muhammad and his uncles entered the house. Khadijah extracted the legally binding words from her father while he was too inebriated to know what he was saying. As the day wore on and the wedding party was in full swing, Khuwaylid recovered his sobriety enough to ask, “What is this meat, this robe and this perfume?” Khadijah replied, “You have given me in marriage to Muhammad ibn Abdullah.” Khuwaylid was as furious as his daughter had expected, protesting that he had never consented to any such thing and even unsheathing his sword. Muhammad’s kin also brandished weapons, and bloodshed was avoided.Muhammad was now Khadijah’s husband.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 49}}. [http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.4/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:4, 5.] See also Guillaume/Ishaq 83 and Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref>

Although the Muslim historian Waqidi rejected this story (even while reporting it), the British historian Muir points out that nobody had any reason to fabricate it. The tradition is from two independent sources, both of whom were biased in Muhammad’s favour and neither of whom had any reason to disparage Khadijah’s father or his clan. Two further independent sources, without mentioning the drunken party, state that it was Khuwaylid who married Khadijah to Muhammad. Although Waqidi claims that it was Khadijah’s uncle who gave her away because her father had died before the Sacrilegious War (591-594), his pupil Ibn Saad names Khuwaylid as a commander in that war. Muir therefore concludes that the tradition of Khuwaylid’s death “has been invented, to throw discredit on the story of his drunkenness.”<ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap2.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 2 p. 24f]. See also {{Tabari|6|pp. 48-50}}; Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref>

This story highlights the Arab assumption that marriage was a contract between bridegroom and father-in-law in which they transferred the guardianship of a woman. It was somewhat similar to buying a camel: the purchase required the consent of the vendor. Muhammad never questioned this view of marriage. To the end of his life, he was particular about meeting the legal requirement to contract with a guardian;<ref>E.g., see Bewley/Saad 8:63, 65; {{Tabari|39|pp. 178-179}}; Bewley/Saad 8:105.</ref> and explicitly endorsed the transactional nature of the [[mahr]] as being a sort of payment for unlimited sexual access to a woman, even against her will, so long as she consented once in the form of agreeing to marry.  

This story also foreshadows any type of consent Muhammad would go one to consider as legally binding. He was to extract consent at sword-point,<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 547.</ref> under duress,<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 314-315. Bewley/Saad 8:87-88.</ref> from an immature or unsound mind,<ref>E.g., Bewley/Saad 8:43.</ref> by withholding essential information,<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 463-464. {{Tabari|39|p. 165}}.</ref> by offering a choice between two bad alternatives,<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:40. Guillaume/Ishaq 493.</ref> by exploiting spiritual beliefs,<ref>[http://altafsir.com/Tafasir.asp?tMadhNo=0&tTafsirNo=74&tSoraNo=33&tAyahNo=36&tDisplay=yes&UserProfile=0/ Jalalayn, ''Tafsir'' Q33:36]. See also {{Quran|33|36}}. {{Bukhari|3|43|648}}, {{Muslim|4|3511}}.</ref> through bribery<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 438; 594-597.</ref> or by making promises that he intended to break.<ref>E.g., Guillaume/Ishaq 504, 509. Bewley/Saad 8:181-182.</ref>  

Muhammad and Khadijah were married for 25 years. Modern biographies of Khadijah sometimes claim her duties during the first fifteen years of her marriage were "purely those of a housewife and a mother,"<ref>"''During the first fifteen years of her marriage, Khadija’s duties were purely those of a housewife and a mother.''" - Razwy, S. A. A. (1990). ''Khadija-Tul-Kubra: The Wife of the Prophet Muhammed'', p. 146. New York: Tahrike Tarsile Qur’an.</ref> or that she "decided to retire and enjoy a comfortable life with her husband who, on his part, preferred an ascetic life to that of money making."<ref>"''Khadija ... felt no need to keep trading and increasing her wealth; instead, she decided to retire and enjoy a comfortable life with her husband who, on his part, preferred an ascetic life to that of money making.''" - [http://www.al-islam.org/biographies/khadija.htm/ Al-Jibouri, Y. T. (1994). ''Khadija Daughter of Khuwaylid, Wife of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).'']</ref>

These new interpretations, however, do not accord with early records that Muhammad went into partnership with a Makhzumite, Qays ibn Saayib, and sold merchandise in his shop.<ref>Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 4 p. 352.</ref> Since Muhammad was not producing anything by means of a craft, he could only have sold items in Mecca if he had imported them from elsewhere; and if he could pay for imports, he must have been exporting at a profit. In other words, Khadijah’s business continued after their marriage exactly as it had beforehand.

Her regular childbearing and fidelity to Muhammad and numerous other accounts of his quickness to “draw close to her” for comfort,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 106</ref> are described in the traditions.There even seems to have been a manner in which Khadija employed sex to distract him from his troubles.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 107; {{Tabari|6|p. 73}}.</ref> All this would appear to suggest that their marriage was a functional one, and there is little reason to believe that Muhammad would have had to have some sort of exceptional virtue to have been successful within it.