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(Halala Article) |
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#And if that 2nd husband also divorces her, only then she becomes eligible to remarry her former husband. | #And if that 2nd husband also divorces her, only then she becomes eligible to remarry her former husband. | ||
Many kinds of problems and situations could occur during Halala, where the woman has to pay the price. For example: | |||
*If a husband says 3 times Talaq to his wife in state of anger, then it destroys the whole family in one second. | *If a husband says 3 times Talaq to his wife in state of anger, then it destroys the whole family in one second. | ||
*And it is the | *And it is the woman, who has to suffer, even if she is totally innocent and the divorce was totally the fault of the husband. | ||
* | *And even if she is ready to undergo all these sufferings of Halala, still there is no guarantee that the 2nd husband is going to give her freedom by giving her a divorce later. In this case, she is stuck for her whole life with her 2nd husband and not able to reunite with her children and the family and the former husband. Thus, Halala comes with extreme risk factor for the women. | ||
==Halala Ruling didn't come from Hadith/Fiqh, but directly from Quran== | ==Halala Ruling didn't come from Hadith/Fiqh, but directly from Quran== | ||
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*Hanafi and Shafi'i Fiqhs allow a woman to marry a 2nd man with the 'intention' of taking divorce later, and to remarry her first husband. That is why, you will see lot of 'Halala Centers' in the Islamic countries, and even in the western countries too where Muslim population resides. | *Hanafi and Shafi'i Fiqhs allow a woman to marry a 2nd man with the 'intention' of taking divorce later, and to remarry her first husband. That is why, you will see lot of 'Halala Centers' in the Islamic countries, and even in the western countries too where Muslim population resides. | ||
*While Hanbali and Maliki Fiqhs don't allow such marriage with the intention of later taking Talaq. | *While Hanbali and Maliki Fiqhs don't allow such marriage with the intention of later taking Talaq. In this case, all the doors are shut for a woman to reunite her children and the former husband. | ||
== | == Only option for a Muslim woman to save the family life for her children is to undergo the Halala process == | ||
According to the human nature, it is certainly possible for a woman to still love her ex-husband and vice versa despite the divorce. Thus, according to the Islam critics, "love" should be the reason enough to allow them to remarry, and any prohibition upon their reuniting is against the human nature. | |||
And it is not only the love of husband, but it may be also the love of her children, which makes her to strongly desire/wish to reunite with her ex-husband. | |||
In an Islamic society, it is very difficult for a woman to survive alone. She has to face a lot of restrictions (like taking Hijab and not to make interaction with men). Thus, her life becomes really difficult to go outside of house, and then to find a good job, and then to work whole day there, and at the same time to look after her small children at home too. | |||
Thus, the easiest way for a divorced woman to survive in an Islamic society, is to remarry and get the support of another man. | |||
But here occurs another problem. If she remarries, then she will loose the custody of all of her children immediately, and she could not take her children along with her in the house of the 2nd husband<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210606140409/https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/182019/why-a-wife-loses-custody-of-her-children-in-case-she-remarries Woman looses the custody of children if she remarries. www.Islamweb.net Fatwa Site.] </ref>. | |||
Thus, the only option for a divorced Muslim woman to: | |||
* not to be alone, and to have the financial support, and to have love and care from a man, and to enjoy the sexual life, | |||
* but at the same time to have her children around her, | |||
is to reunite with her ex-husband, in order to save the family life for her and her children. But for this, she has to sacrifice, and undergo the process of Halala. | |||
== Risks, that are involved in Halala for a woman == | |||
There are three big risks involved in Halala for a woman. | |||
In | # Firstly, what if the 2nd husband decides not to giver her a divorce? In Islamic Sharia, a woman has neither a right of divorce, nor of Khul' (Remember, Khul' is also a right of husband. If he does not agree on Khul', then no Islamic Court could provide that woman her freedom. Islamic court could separate them only in case if husband is not paying the maintenance money to her, or if he is impotent. Please read the [[Khul']] article regarding the details). | ||
# Secondly, what if the 2nd husband not only wants to keep her as his wife, but he also becomes abusive and starts beating her, so that she becomes submissive and starts providing sex services to him properly? Note: Islamic Sharia allows the husband to severely beat the wife (even with bruises) if she is not providing him with the sex services properly. No Islamic court could provide her with freedom even in case of such abusive husband, except that he breaks any part of her body (like bones etc)<ref>[[Khul'|Khul' Article.]] </ref>. | |||
# Third big risk for a woman is the so-called [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghayrah Ghayrah] of the 1st husband. After the 2nd husband has sex with her, then certainly it would lower her status and value in the eyes of her 1st husband, and he could not love her as before. Especially, when men in an Islamic society become extremely emotional and unsensible in name of ('''Ghayrah''' (Arabic: غَيْرَة), which means a person's dislike of another's sharing in a right (which belongs to the former). Thus, the whole Muslim society think bad about such woman, who undergoes the process of Halala in order to reunite with her ex-husband and the children. And it is not only the hatred from the whole Islamic society, but risk is there that 1st husband will deny to remarry her in name of Ghayrah, even after she takes the divorce from the 2nd husband. | |||
==Combination of Halala + Wife Beating + Wife not having the right to get her freedom through divorce== | |||
Halala does not come alone, but it is the combination of 3 Islamic Rulings which affect the women. They are: | |||
# Halala | |||
# Wife Beating | |||
# And a wife does not have any right to get her freedom from an abusive husband in any way. | |||
The combination of all three of them in action is found in the following Hadith:{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5825|darussalam}}|Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband '''and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by severe beating)'''. It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, `Aisha said, ''' "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women (i.e. men were not beating their wives so brutally during the era of ignorance as they beat after Islam). Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" '''When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but '''he is impotent''' and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient '''and wants to go back to Rifa`a (i.e. the first husband)'''." Allah's Apostle said, to her,''' "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you'''." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"}}Therefore: | |||
* | *Firstly, according to this hadith, the husband beat her so brutally that her skin became green (she got bruises), but she was still unable to get freedom from him (through divorce or [[Khul']] or court or any other way), as husbands are fully allowed to beat their wives in Islam. Even the Islamic courts are also not allowed to give her her freedom (except that any part of her body is broken during the beating). | ||
*And | *Even if the sole mistake is of the husband himself, and even if he is an abusive bad-tempered person, still Islam does not allow the woman to get rid of him. She is compelled to live whole of her life with him (if he wishes so). | ||
*And | *And 'Aisha testified that after the arrival of Islam, the Muslim men used to beat the women much more brutally as compared to the pre Islamic period (i.e. Kafir husbands didn't beat their wives so brutally as Muslim husbands beat them). | ||
*And we see that the Lady loved her first husband and she wanted to reunite with him through Halala, as Islam didn't permit her to directly wed he ex-husband without Halala. | |||
*And the risks of Halala became true for that lady, as his 2nd husband turned out to be an abusive person. He didn't give her divorce, despite knowing this fact very well that she didn't love him, but she loved her ex-husband only. | |||
*And in such cases, not only one family is destroyed, but both the families are destroyed. The house of first husband is destroyed, while the children are without the mother. And the house of 2nd husband is destroyed while there is no peace there and this house becomes the the center of beating for the woman. | |||
*The children from the first husband are certainly going to be disturbed to see their mother to be tortured in this way. | |||
*And it is only the woman who has to undergo and face all these difficulties alone. Either it is the period of 3 menstrual cycles during the process of first divorce (where woman is alone in the house, but husband is allowed to enjoy his other wives and the slave-women) or it is the 'Iddah of 3 menstrual cycles after the divorce, or it is marrying the 2nd husband, and then providing him the sex services, and then again going through the process of 2nd divorce and then 2nd Iddah. Please read the [['Iddah (Female Menstrual Waiting Period)|'Iddah]] article for more details. In this whole process, man is free to enjoy his other wives and the slave-women. | |||
Moreover: | |||
* Either this Sahabia lady (i.e. female companion) was telling a lie about the impotency of her husband (and that too in front of Prophet Muhammad himself), or her 2nd husband was telling a lie when he claimed to not to be impotent. | |||
* Muhammad later declared that female companion to be a lair, due to 2 sons of that man from another wife. | |||
* So, what compelled that female companion to come up with this lie of impotency of her husband? Answer is, in this rare case of impotency, she has a chance to get her freedom through an Islamic court. Here you could read about these rare cases, where an Islamic court could give freedom to the women through [https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Khul%27#Faskh_.D9.81.D8.B3.D8.AE_.28i.e._dissolution_of_marriage.29.2C_and_the_unilateral_women.27s_sufferings: Faskh (i.e. dissolution of marriage)]. | |||
* But such false charges and disputes are only going to destroy the peace in the house, and no one could live happily in such an environment. | |||
* And if a Sahabia (female companion) lady was unable to control over her love and desire for the 1st husband, and if she was ready to come up with false slanders to achieve her desire, then it could not be expected from the women of today to not to love their ex-husbands and not to make such false moves in order to achieve their desires. | |||
== What is the LOGIC behind Halala? == | |||
Questions are asked: | |||
== | * What is the logic behind Halala? | ||
Islam | |||
* And how Halala is going to solve the problems between the husband and the wife and secure their children and proves to be positive in children's interest? | |||
Islam advocates give the following logic behind Halala. | |||
=== (1) Halala is a punishment for the 1st husband for his bad temper === | |||
Islam advocate gives the following reason<ref>[https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-logic-behind-Nikah-Halala-which-makes-the-reunion-of-a-divorced-couple-so-difficult Logic behind Halala. Quora.com.]</ref>. | |||
* In Islam, only husband has the right to give divorce. | |||
* Thus, if a husband wants to remarry his ex-wife, it means that he made a mistake and divorced her in anger. | |||
* That is why, Halala is a punishment for the 1st husband of his bad temper. | |||
* It is a severe punishment for him to share his wife with another person. | |||
But problem with this logic is that the wife and the children have also been suffering severely due to Halala, despite being innocent: | |||
* It is the wife, who has to first face the hardships of process of divorce (which is 3 menstrual cycles long). In this period, she has to stay in the house of husband, but he would neither touch her, not show her any love. She is in a solitary confinement like situation. | |||
* Then after the divorce, she again has to suffer alone the difficulties of 'Iddah for 3 more menstrual cycles, where she is again in a solitary confinement like situation, and could not fulfill her sexual desires, or to get the love and attention of any other maThen she has to go through the hardships of marrying another man, and let him play with her body against her wish. And then comes again the 6 months long process of 2nd Talaq and 2nd 'Iddah. | |||
* And if the 2nd husband is an evil person, and he wants to keep her against her wishes, then he is going to beat her whole of her life and keep on playing with her body against her will for the rest of her life. | |||
* And despite being innocent, she also has to face the hatred of whole Islamic society, which deems Halala to be against the modesty of a woman. | |||
* And it also lowers the status of the innocent woman in the eyes of her 1st husband, and he might not love her as before, or even deny to remarry her. | |||
* And what about the children? Why do they have to bear the hardships of being separated from their mother (when she goes to the house of 2nd husband according to the Islamic law)? Why do they have to see their mother with another person except for their real father? | |||
=== (2) Halala was introduced in order that men don't take divorce lightly === | |||
Another Islam advocate claims that<ref>[https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:C7qreKMHxGcJ:https://www.facebook.com/habibullah.009/posts/%25D8%25AD%25D9%2584%25D8%25A7%25D9%2584%25DB%2581-%25DA%25A9%25DB%258C-%25D8%25AD%25DA%25A9%25D9%2585%25D8%25AA%25D8%25A2%25D8%25AC-%25DA%25A9%25D8%25A7-%25D8%25B3%25D9%2588%25D8%25A7%25D9%2584-%25D9%2586%25D9%2585%25D8%25A8%25D8%25B1-%25DB%25B1%25DB%25B4%25DB%25B2%25DB%25B5%25D8%25B4%25D8%25B1%25DB%258C%25D8%25B9%25D8%25AA-%25D9%2585%25DB%258C%25DA%25BA-%25D8%25AD%25D9%2584%25D8%25A7%25D9%2584%25DB%2581-%25D8%25AB%25D8%25A7%25D8%25A8%25D8%25AA-%25DB%2581%25DB%2592-%25D8%25A7%25DA%25AF%25D8%25B1-%25D8%25AB%25D8%25A7%25D8%25A8%25D8%25AA-%25DB%2581%25DB%2592-%25D8%25AA%25D9%2588-%25D8%25A7%25D8%25B3%25DA%25A9%25D8%25A7-%25D8%25B5%25D8%25AD%25DB%258C/2159873084297679/+&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=de شیخ الحدیث حبیب اللہ القاسمی] </ref>: | |||
* Halala was a warning for the husband to think carefully before divorcing her. | |||
* In the pre-Islamic days, people used to divorce in the morning, and then take the wives back in the evening. | |||
* Therefore, the logic behind Halala is that men don't take the divorce lightly. | |||
But the problem with this logic is: | |||
* Halala is still a big risk for the woman and the children. | |||
* If husband does not think carefully, and still divorces her, then it is she who has to suffer a lot of hardships and her life is going to be ruined, along with the children. | |||
* She either has to separate herself from her children, or to give up her right of fulfilling her sexual desires and have love and attention of a man in her life. | |||
* Muslim men are bad tempered, while Islam usurped this right from the women to get their freedom if their Muslim husbands are not behaving sensibly. And then Islam gave the unilateral right to the husbands to beat their wives too. | |||
* If the women would have also got the right to get the divorce in case of their husband's show non-sensible behaviour and in case of abusing and beating them, then Muslim men would have automatically shown a careful behaviour right from the beginning. | |||
* And what is wrong if the husband divorces her in the morning, and then takes her back in the evening with the mutual consent. Let them divorce each other thousands of times and then reuniting with each other's mutual consent again and again. Such a reuniting is not harming anyone. But Halala closed this door of reuniting and it caused a damage to the women and the children. | |||
=== (3) The husband and the wife had to think about the consequences during the process of 3 Talaqs === | |||
Islam advocates claim that: | |||
* | * Quran stipulated the process of Talaq which consists of a period of 3 menstrual cycles. | ||
* | * This period is enough for the husband and the wife to think about all the consequences in case of divorce. | ||
* And if after that, they still proceed for the 3rd and the final divorce, then they are themselves responsible for Halala, and Islam should not be blamed for it. | |||
But the problem with this logic is: | |||
* | *What is the guarantee that the dispute between the husband and the wife '''is going to be over within 3 months'''? | ||
* | *Is it not possible that they need more time to learn their lesson? For example, what if the husband learns his lesson after 1 year that it was his mistake to divorce his wife? So, what could be done in this case? In simple words, limiting this problem within 3 menstrual cycles is not a wisdom, but this is a blunder. Somepeople, sometimes need some more time to learn their lessons than 3 months. | ||
*Moreover, it has been seen that the disputes are also solved if the couples don't stay under one roof, but take a break from each other. But in an Islamic divorce, the wife is forced to stay in the house of her husband during the whole divorce process (which is about 3 months long), along with their children. But if they live separately, and wife has to stay at home of her parents/brothers, and father has to live without his children (or to look after them alone in case the children stay with him), then chances of learning lesson from both the parties become better. | |||
*Human logic guides that the pair should be given as much longer time as they wish/need to overcome their disputes. This is always a much better option than any permanent separation in name of Halala. | |||
==A Muslim Owner could destroy the family of his slave-woman and do Halala with her as many times as he wishes== | |||
Moreover: | |||
* | *Islam allows a Muslim owner to do sex with his slave-woman, and after fulfilling his sexual lust in temporary sexual relationship, he could forcefully marry her to any of his slave-man. | ||
* | *But if the Muslim owner again wishes for her later, then Islam allows him fully to break the slave's family, and take her back again to have sex with her. | ||
{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5105|darussalam}}|وَقَالَ أَنَسٌ: {وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ} ذَوَاتُ الأَزْوَاجِ الْحَرَائِرُ حَرَامٌ إِلاَّ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ لاَ يَرَى بَأْسًا أَنْ يَنْزِعَ الرَّجُلُ جَارِيَتَهُ مِنْ عَبْدِهِ. </br> | |||
Translation:</br> | |||
Anas said: The meaning of the Quranic verse: {وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ} (Suran Nisa) is this that if the slave-woman of any person is in the Nikah of his slave, '''then he could take her back from his slave for himself (to have sex with her)'''}}('''Note''': There is a distortion in the English translation of Sahih Bukhari, as this tradition is present in the Arabic Sahih Bukhari, but the Muslim translator of Sahih Bukhari didn't translate it.) | |||
This becomes a sort of 'double standards' here: | |||
* | *On one side, there is a free man and a free woman, who want to again begin their family life along with their children, with each others mutual consent, but this door is closed upon them in name of Halala. | ||
*While on the -other hand, there is a slave-woman, who wants to live in a family life modestly with her slave-husband, but she is forced against her will, to leave her husband, and to to go to the owner, who rapes her again against her consent. | |||
== Secular Western Laws vs Halala == | |||
Secular western laws are totally opposite to Halala: | |||
* Secular western countries have given equal rights to the women in case of divorce. | |||
* They have also provided full protection to the women in case if their husband turn abusive. | |||
* They accept it as a part of human nature that a wife could still love her ex-husband, despite the divorce (and vice versa). | |||
* They value the mutual consent of both the parties the most. Thus they give the option of resolving the conflict between the husband and the wife internally, with their mutual consent. | |||
* They give this opportunity to the pair to decide themselves, how long do they need to solve their disputes and to reconcile. | |||
== References: == | |||
<references /> | <references /> |
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