'Iddah (Female Menstrual Waiting Period): Difference between revisions

Muslim scholars defend these restrictions upon the women in 'Iddah. They claim that rulings of 'Iddah could neither be abolished, nor could they be changed as the rulings of the [[Shari'ah (Islamic Law)| Islamic Sharia]]  are based upon wisdom, justice and the best interests of the women, and they protect the women against the gender oppression and misogyny, while the man made laws of the modern Western world lead to the sexual exploitation of the women<ref>[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/39286 Islam Question Answer Fatwa Website: Is it correct to think that fatwas may vary according to time and place?] </ref><ref>[https://yaqeeninstitute.org/read/paper/women-in-islamic-law-examining-five-prevalent-myths Women in Islamic Law: Examining Five Prevalent Myths]</ref>. Yet in point of fact women are forced to unilaterally face these restrictions, which make their life difficult, while the husbands don't have to face any such restriction. The basis of these restrictions, the need to be sure of fatherhood, has been rendered obsolete by modern science. In addition, these restrictions are not found anywhere in the bible or Judeo-Christian tradition. Their antecedents seem rather to be pre-Islamic Arab culture (which is known as "Time of Ignorance (i.e. jāhiliyyah)"<ref>[https://www.al-islam.org/man-and-ignorance/what-does-jahiliyah-mean What does Jahiliyah mean?]</ref>.

If the husband says to his wife, once or twice, that he has divorces her (in Arabic), then she begins her 'Iddah period which lasts for three menstrual cycles. During this period, she’s still formally considered to be his wife: He’s obliged to house her and provide for her and they both can inherit from one another in case of death. During the Iddah, the husband can cancel the divorce even without her approval by saying that he's taken her back to him or by having sex with her. But if the 'Iddah period passes without either of these two events, then she’s formally divorced.<ref>[https://al-maktaba.org/book/9486/1034 Fiqh Al-Sunnah by Sayyid Sabiq, Dar Al-Kitab Al-Arabi, vol.2 p.274]</ref> After that, if the husband wishes to remarry her, he needs a new marriage contract, two witnesses, to pay the [[Mahr (Marital Price)]] and he also needs her approval.<ref>[https://al-maktaba.org/book/9486/1037 Fiqh Al-Sunnah by Sayyid Sabiq, Dar Al-Kitab Al-Arabi, vol.2 p.277]</ref>

1- In one moment of anger, a husband could end the marriage and the family by saying a triple divorce, and the literature is clear that his remorse or regret does not invalidate the triple-talaq.

2- Triple divorce led to the spread of a fake kind of marriage where a divorced woman is married to another man only for him to immediately divorce her so that she can return to her original husband. This practice is called Nikah Al-Tahlil نكاح التحليل. <ref>[https://al-maktaba.org/book/9486/1031 Fiqh Al-Sunnah by Sayyid Sabiq, Dar Al-Kitab Al-Arabi, vol.2 p.271 footnote.1]</ref>

This triple divorce in one sitting is considered valid by most classical scholars and by the four traditional Sunni schools of Islamic jurisprudence.<ref>[https://al-maktaba.org/book/9486/1029 Fiqh Al-Sunnah by Sayyid Sabiq, Dar Al-Kitab Al-Arabi, vol.2 p.269]</ref>

Jurists agree that a woman observing her Iddah must not leave her house, with many jurists saying she can only leave for necessary needs. Many Islamic fatawa (religious rulings) decree that Muslim women observing their 'iddah must not leave their (husband's) house even for a walk and certainly not for any type of social gathering ([https://web.archive.org/web/20211014114224/https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/349861/woman-in-iddah-may-go-out-for-need Fatwa 1], [https://web.archive.org/web/20211014114300/https://idealwoman.org/2021/can-a-woman-go-out-for-a-walk-during-iddat/ Fatwa 2]). Although this makes sense from the perspective of ensuring that her next husband does not inherit the baby of a man she had relations with during her 'iddah and that any pregnancy which comes about in the 'iddah can only be the work of her husband, it completely disregards her human rights. No consideration is given for the women's freedom of movement, freedom of choice, social or relationship needs.   

Widowed women observing their 'Iddah are not allowed to wear good clothes, or jewelry, or use perfume or Henna. With some jurists saying that even combing their hair and applying the oil to it is forbidden<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20211028112250/https://islamqa.org/hanafi/askmufti/45291/laws-of-the-iddat/ IslamQA Fatwa Website]</ref>.   

{{Quote|{{Bukhari|||5336|darussalam}}|Um Salama said that a woman came to Allah's Messenger and said, "O Allah's Messenger ! The husband of my daughter has died and she is suffering from an eye disease. Can she apply  collyrium/kohl to her eye?" Allah's Messenger replied, "No," twice or thrice. (Every time she repeated her question) he said,''' "No." Then Allah's Messenger added, "It is just a matter of four months and ten days. In the Pre-Islamic Period of ignorance a widow among you should throw a globe of dung when one year has elapsed (i.e. she had to stay in ‘Iddah for the whole one year)." '''}}Apparently women even at the time the hadith was created were complaining of the burdens of the 'iddah, but the hadith admonishes them that they ought to be thankful for Islam, since in the jahiliyyah (the pre-islamic time of "ignorance" before the coming of Islam in the Arab peninsula) the 'iddah lasted a whole year. That there were complaints, though, can be seen from the existence of the hadith in the first place, so even in the time of this hadith women were not happy with them; by comparison, modern secular culture imposes no such restrictions on women at all.  

This prohibition seems to imply some impurification of the preborn child by the seed of the second man, but scientifically once the woman has been impregnated this is impossible, the DNA of the baby will not be affected by any other semen in the woman's body. This hadith thus seems to present an unscientific view of human gestation. Moreover, the man is under all circumstances able to take sexual pleasure from any other wife or sex slave that he possess immediately after the end of his marital bond, but it is only the woman who is not allowed to fulfil her natural need to have love and sex from any man.   

This ruling is criticized while a woman is alone in the house of her ex-husband, and she has to observe Hijab from him too<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210512143740/https://daruliftaa.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/rules_of_iddat-1.pdf Staying in the house of ex-husband, but also doing Purdah (Hijab) from him.] </ref>. Living under one roof with the ex-husband is a cause of mental torture for a woman.

If the husband says to his wife three times that he has divorced her, then she's formally considered to be divorced from him even if he said the three announcements in one sitting. The husband cannot remarry his wife unless she marries another man and gets divorced by him. This means that the moment the husband pronounces three Talaqs (announcements of divorce) in one sitting, his wife will need to go through a waiting period of three menstrual cycles where she's forced to stay at her ex-husband's home. But this ruling is criticized as unnecesary, since the parentage of the child could be determined after just the first menstrual cycle (as in case of the captive/slave woman). Therefore, logically the 'Iddah should be only one menstrual cycle long if the idea of assuring the parentage of any babies were to be followed to its logical conclusion<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20220113121219/https://atheism-vs-islam.com/index.php/women/94-iddah-i-e-waiting-period-is-illogical-unnecessary-oppressive-injustice-against-the-women Iddah of 3 menstrual cycles in case of 3 Talaqs in one sitting]</ref>. Scholars claim that one of the purposes of the Iddah is to give a chance for reconciliation between the couple. This may be true in the case of a single or double talaq divorce, but after 3 Talaqs there's no chance of reconciliation which makes the additional two menstrual cycles not only meaningless but also mentally harmful for the divorced wife as she's forced to live with her ex-husband in the same home for three menstrual cycles.{{Quote|[https://web.archive.org/web/20210512143740/https://daruliftaa.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/rules_of_iddat-1.pdf Rules of Iddat]|When the husband divorces his wife, she will have to spend her Iddat in the matrimonial home. She must not leave the house during the day nor at night, nor can she make nikah with anyone else ... This rule will apply irrespective of whether the man issued one two or three divorces, and irrespective of whether he issued a talaaqul baa-in (irrevocable divorce) or a talaaq-ur-raj’ee (revocable Talaaq). The same rule will apply in all cases ... If she is observing her ‘Iddat in the same house wherein the man who issued a talaaqul baain to her is also living, she will have to observe strict Purdah (Hijab) with him.}}Moreover, in the present modern era, it is not necessary to wait even for one menstrual cycle, as the pregnancy and paternity can be determined right away through the modern medical tests.   

The clear disregard for the well-being of women presents a conundrum for modern day advocates of these Islamic laws and traditions. On one hand, Islamic law advocates claim that a Muslim woman is not allowed to be wed during 3 periods/months long 'Iddah while she is mentally under stress after the divorce. Yet on the flip side of the coin, by endorsing a tradition with such endorsements of sexual slavery, they ignore any such mental stress for the prisoner women and girls. Far away from the subject of divorce, even after killing all the men of their family, Muslim men are allowed to use them as sex objects the very same night that their slavery begins. They are provided with no 'waiting period' to come out of their mental stress.

Contrary to Islam, even the laws of the Jewish Bible allowed the prisoner women to mourn their relatives for one complete month, during which men were not allowed  to take any other sexual services from them.   

In creating these new rulings around taking the sexual pleasure of female sex slaves, Islamic law rejected the law of the Bible in this case, and more closely followed the laws of the pagan Arab society of the time of Muhammad, as it benefitted the Muslims financially and they were free to seek sexual pleasures through the prisoner women the same night.