Khadijah bint Khuwaylid: Difference between revisions

Muslim apologists sometimes point to Khadijah’s independence and success as an example of the great opportunities that Islam grants to women. Typical claims cite her as an example of the "vibrant, liberating spirit of early Islam"<ref>"''Khadija, the first wife of the Prophet ... an outstanding female liberating figure in history ... can help us reclaim the vibrant, liberating spirit of early Islam. That alone could go a long way in removing the current image of Muslims among non Muslims.''" - Bandukwala, J. S. “Hazrat Khadija was an outstanding female liberating figure in history,” letter to the editor in ''New Age Islam'', 22 May 2010.</ref> or state that the modern-day justifications for "denying girls an equal chance at success lies in archaic interpretations of religion".<ref>"''For Muslim girls everywhere, Khadijah is one of the first female role models introduced by parents and teachers of religion. A self-made businesswoman … She had already created her own success … The justification for denying girls an equal chance at success lies in archaic interpretations of religion… There is nothing contradictory about being a powerful Muslim female.''" - Saraswati, R. E. (2012). “[http://www.aquila-style.com/focus-points/khadijah-bint-khuwaylid-one-of-the-four-perfect-women/ Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid: Perfect Woman]” in ''Aquila Style''.</ref> These claims are illogical, since Khadijah’s career was established before Islam existed. What it really demonstrates is the opportunities that pre-Islamic Arabs (sometimes) granted to women, who not only mingled freely with men in the market-place but were also respected for doing so. Most merchants were men, but among the women were the very pagan Hind bint Utba<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:165.</ref> and the perfumer Asma bint Mukharriba.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:209.</ref><ref>[http://www.encislam.brill.nl/public/makka/ “Makka” in Bearman, P., Bianquis, T., Bosworth, C. E., van Donzel, E., & Heinrichs, W. P. (Eds.). (2006). '''Encyclopaedia of Islam, 2nd Ed.'' Brill Online.]</ref> After Khadijah died, Muslim women were ordered to stay at home and wear veils,<ref>{{Quran|33|54}}</ref> and it became impossible for an adherent Muslim woman to conduct any such enterprise. Khadijah had no way of knowing that within a decade of her death, her lifestyle would be forbidden to the women of Arabia.

In the spring of 595, Khadijah required a new agent to accompany her camels to Syria. Her brother’s wife’s brother, Abu Talib ibn Abdulmuttalib,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 162, 585. Bewley/Saad 8:29.</ref> recommended the services of his ward, a nephew whom he could no longer afford to keep. Khadijah agreed to hire him for a higher commission than she usually paid.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 34.1/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:34:2.] Bewley/Saad 8:10.</ref> His name was Muhammad.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 82.</ref>

Marriage required the consent of the bride’s guardian, and Khadijah’s father Khuwaylid had refused her previous suitors. She therefore plotted to secure his permission through trickery. She plied her father with wine until he was drunk. Then she slaughtered a cow, covered his shoulders with a new striped robe and sprinkled him with perfume, whereupon Muhammad and his uncles entered the house. Khadijah extracted the legally binding words from her father while he was too inebriated to know what he was saying. As the day wore on and the wedding party was in full swing, Khuwaylid recovered his sobriety enough to ask, “What is this meat, this robe and this perfume?” Khadijah replied, “You have given me in marriage to Muhammad ibn Abdullah.” Khuwaylid was as furious as his daughter had expected, protesting that he had never consented to any such thing and even unsheathing his sword. Muhammad’s kin also brandished weapons before everyone realised that the matter was not worth actual bloodshed. It was too late. Muhammad was Khadijah’s husband.<ref>{{Tabari|6|p. 49}}. [http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 35.4/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:35:4, 5.] See also Guillaume/Ishaq 83 and Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref>

Although the Muslim historian Waqidi denied this embarrassing story (even while reporting it), the British historian Muir points out that nobody had any reason to fabricate it. The tradition is from two independent sources, both of whom were biased in Muhammad’s favour and neither of whom had any reason to disparage Khadijah’s father or his clan. Two further independent sources, without mentioning the drunken party, state that it was Khuwaylid who married Khadijah to Muhammad. Although Waqidi claims that it was Khadijah’s uncle who gave her away because her father had died before the Sacrilegious War (591-594), his pupil Ibn Saad names Khuwaylid as a commander in that war. Muir therefore concludes that the tradition of Khuwaylid’s death “has been invented, to throw discredit on the story of his drunkenness.”<ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap2.htm/ Muir (1861) vol. 2 p. 24f]. See also {{Tabari|6|pp. 48-50}}; Ibn Hisham note 918.</ref>

Modern hagiographers sometimes claim that the virtuous Khadijah, "unlike her people, never believed in nor worshipped idols." <ref>"''One particular quality in Khadija was quite interesting, probably more so than any of her other qualities mentioned above: she, unlike her people, never believed in nor worshipped idols.''" - [http://www.al-islam.org/masoom/bios/khadija.htm/ Al-Jibouri, Y. T. (1994). ''Khadija Daughter of Khuwaylid, Wife of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).]</ref> The early sources state otherwise. Khadijah kept in her house an idol of Al-Uzza, a virgin star-goddess who was the patroness of Mecca and was supposed to be powerful in war.<ref>[http://www.pantheon.org/areas/mythology/other/articles.html/ “Al-Uzza” in ''Encyclopaedia Mythica''].</ref><ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Al-Kalbi/uzza.htm/ Al-Kalbi, ''The Book of Idols'', pp. 16-29.]</ref><ref>[http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1691&Itemid=109/ Ibn Kathir, ''Tafsir'' on Quran 53:19–26.]</ref> The family used to worship it just before bedtime.<ref>Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 4 p. 222.</ref> Muhammad sometimes sacrificed a white sheep to the goddess,<ref>[http://answering-islam.org/Books/Al-Kalbi/uzza.htm/ Al-Kalbi, pp. 16-17.]</ref> and Khadijah sacrificed two kids at the birth of each son and one at the birth of each daughter.<ref>[http://www.soebratie.nl/religie/hadith/IbnSad.html#Book 36.2/ Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:36:2].</ref> When Muhammad complained of the Evil Eye, Khadijah used to send for an elderly sorceress to charm it away.<ref>Yunus ibn Bakayr from Ibn Ishaq, cited in [http://books.google.com.au/books?id=tNHnAAAAIAAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_vpt_buy#v=onepage&q&f=false/ Guillaume, A. (1960). ''New Light on the Life of Muhammad'', p. 7. Manchester: Manchester University Press.]</ref> In 605 a severe flood damaged the Ka’aba, and the principal citizens of Mecca cooperated to rebuild it. Muhammad played a prominent part by arbitrating a dispute over who should have the honour of reinstalling the [[Black Stone]].<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 84-86.</ref> He gave no hint at that date that he had rejected any of the 360 gods whom he thus rehoused.

However, at an unspecified date and for an unknown reason, Muhammad and Khadijah became disillusioned with their traditional religion. Muhammad and his son Zayd came under the influence of the outspoken monotheist Zayd ibn Amr al-Adiyi, who told them that he never ate meat offered to idols. Muhammad then decided that he too would never again sacrifice to Al-Uzza.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 99. See also {{Bukhari|7|67|407}}; {{Bukhari|5|58|169}}. Variant forms of this ''hadith'' are cited in [http://www.kister.huji.ac.il/content/bag-meat-study-early-%E1%B8%A5ad%C4%ABth/ Kister, M. J. (1970). “A Bag of Meat.” A Study of an Early Hadith. ''Bulletin of the School of Oriental and African Studies, 33'', 267-75.] Ibn Ishaq (Guillaume, pp. 102-103) describes how Zayd ibn Amr was eventually murdered. Although the culprit was never discovered, Ibn Ishaq apparently suspected Zayd’s half-brother, Al-Khattab ibn Nufayl, the father of Caliph Umar.</ref> Finally he confessed his unbelief to Khadijah. She replied by telling him to “Leave Al-Lat and leave Al-Uzza.”<ref>"''A neighbour of Khadijah bint Khuwaylid heard the Prophet say, “O Khadija! By Allah, I do not worship Al-Lat or Al-Uzza. By Allah, I do not worship [them] at all.” Khadijah replied, “Leave Al-Lat and leave Al-Uzza.” He [the neighbour] said this was their idol, which they all used to worship, after which they would lie down to sleep.''" - Ibn Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 4 p. 222.</ref> (Al-Lat was an earth-mother goddess who was revered in Ta’if.)<ref>[http://www.pantheon.org/articles/a/allat.html/ “Allat” in ''Encyclopaedia Mythica''.]</ref><ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Al-Kalbi/allat.htm/ Al-Kalbi, ''The Book of Idols'', pp. 14-15.]</ref> Such a placid acceptance of her husband’s apostasy suggests that Khadijah in her turn had already lost faith.

==Islam==

Muhammad took to meditating in caves, often leaving his family for days at a time to focus on his devotions.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 105.</ref> In August 610, when he was 39 years old, these meditations were interrupted by an experience that terrified him.<ref>It could have been an epileptic fit, a psychotic episode or an ordinary nightmare. Since he was alone, there is no way to know.</ref> He staggered home to Khadijah under the conviction that he had seen the angel Jibreel (Gabriel) and that he was demon-possessed.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 106.</ref> Khadijah wrapped him in a blanket and consoled him. She did not believe that Muhammad could be possessed. “Allah would not treat you thus since he knows your good character. So rejoice and be glad! I have hope that you will be the prophet of this community.” Then she put on her cloak and took Muhammad to consult her cousin Waraqa.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 106-107. {{Tabari|6|p. 72}}.</ref>

Muhammad kept preaching, and the public arguments led to fights in the streets. It was a Muslim who struck the first blow,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 118.</ref> but when Muhammad continued his "shameless" attacks,<ref>Francis Edwards Peters,Muhammad and the Origins of Islam, SUNY Press, p.169</ref> mocking the idols in the Ka’aba, the pagans began a systematic campaign of punishing Muslim slaves and teenagers.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 143-145.</ref> One of the worst offenders was Khadijah’s brother Nawfal, whom the Muslims called “a satan of the Quraysh.” He once tied Abu Bakr to his kinsman Talha ibn Ubaydullah and left them helplessly roped together.<ref>Guillaume/Ibn Ishaq 127-128.</ref> His attitude raises interesting questions about Khadijah’s relationship with her brother – especially as Nawfal’s own son was an early convert to Islam.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 147.</ref> However, while his spiteful prank no doubt caused Abu Bakr and Talha some inconvenience, if this was deemed the action of a “satan”, then the general harassment of freeborn adults was far from life-threatening. The majority of these converts fled to Abyssinia, where the Christian King extended his unqualified protection. Muhammad and Khadijah, being under the protection of Muhammad’s uncle Abu Talib, remained in Mecca.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 146ff.</ref>

Muhammad warned his opponents of Hellfire, graphically describing how sinners would be “thrown headlong”<ref>{{Quran|26|94}}.</ref> into “a fierce blast of fire and boiling water, shades of black smoke,”<ref>{{Quran-range|56|42|43}}.</ref> to drink “a boiling fluid, and a fluid dark, murky, intensely cold,”<ref>{{Quran-range|38|56|64}}</ref> allowing nothing to survive and nothing to escape, “darkening and changing the colour of man.”<ref>{{Quran-range|74|26|29}}. See also {{Quran|92|14}}. {{Quran-range|89|23|26}}. {{Quran|102|6}}. {{Quran-range|85|4|6}}. {{Quran|85|10}}. {{Quran-range|101|8|11}}. {{Quran-range|90|19|20}}. {{Quran|54|48}}. {{Quran-range|7|36|41}}. {{Quran|7|50}}. {{Quran|7|179}}. {{Quran|72|15}}. {{Quran|36|63}}. {{Quran-range|25|65|69}}. {{Quran-range|35|6|7}}. {{Quran-range|35|36|37}}. {{Quran|19|86}}. {{Quran|20|74}}. {{Quran-range|56|93|94}}. {{Quran-range|28|41|42}}.</ref> Khadijah had to take her share of the warning. When she asked of her children who had died in the days of ignorance, Muhammad replied “They are in Hellfire.” When she asked of the child that she bore to him, he replied “He is in Paradise... Verily, the believers and their children will be in Paradise, and the polytheists and their children in the Hellfire.”<ref>"''Khadijah asked Allah’s Apostle about her children who had died in the days of ignorance. Thereupon Allah’s Messenger said: “They are in Hellfire.” When he saw the sign of disgust on her face, he said: “If you were to see their station, you would hate them.” She said: “Allah’s Messenger, what about the child that I bore to you?” He said: “He is in Paradise.” Then Allah’s Messenger said: “Verily, the believers and their children will be in Paradise, and the polytheists and their children in the Hellfire.''” - [http://www.oocities.org/tirmidhihadith/page1.html/ Tirmidhi 117.]</ref>

In one sense this is true. For example, when the Quraysh chiefs wanted to end the boycott, they offered Muhammad “as many wives as he wanted in marriage,” together with wealth, political power and a competent exorcist, if only he would stop reviling their gods. Muhammad scorned this bribe.<ref>{{Tabari|6|pp. 106-107}}. See also Guillaume/Ishaq 132-133.</ref> In this case, however, his loyalty to Khadijah can scarcely be disentangled from his loyalty to his own prophetic office. He responded to Khadijah’s support with a nepotistic revelation that the Virgin Mary had been the best woman of her generation while Khadijah was the best woman of the present generation.<ref>[http://www.searchtruth.com/book_display.php?book=55&translator=1&start=91&number=633/ Bukhari|4|55|642]. {{Bukhari|5|58|163}}. {{Muslim|31|5965}}.</ref> He claimed that although there were many perfect men, there had only ever been only three perfect women: Asiya “wife of Pharaoh,” who had rescued the infant Moses; Mary the virgin mother of the Prophet Jesus; and Khadijah. He later allowed that their daughter Fatima was also one of the four “best among the women of Paradise.”<ref>[http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1298&Itemid=122/ Ibn Kathir, ''Tafsir''] on {{Quran|66|11}}. See also {{Muslim|31|5966}}. He never called any of his other wives or daughters “perfect”, not even his fourth divine spouse, Kulthum the sister of Moses.</ref> How his three elder daughters reacted to such open favouritism is not recorded. When Khadijah once brought Muhammad a bowl of soup, she was granted a personal message from Jibreel (of which Aisha was later intensely jealous): “Give her Allah’s greeting and the good news that in Paradise she will have a palace built of a hollow pearl, where there will be no noise or fatigue.”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 111. Ibn Hisham note 148. {{Bukhari|3|27|19}}. {{Bukhari|5|58|167}}. {{Bukhari|5|58|168}}. {{Bukhari|9|93|588}}. {{Muslim|31|5967}}. {{Muslim|31|5968}}. {{Muslim|31|5970}}.</ref>

Yet despite this outward loyalty to Khadijah, it was exactly at this period when Muhammad frankly admitted that he was thinking about other women. It was only after 614 that he introduced to his descriptions of Paradise the “modest ''houris''” (virgins) with “lustrous eyes” and “swelling breasts” who reclined “like pearls or rubies” on “green cushions”.<ref>{{Quran|38|52}}. {{Quran-range|56|22|23}}. {{Quran-range|37|48|49}}. {{Quran|44|54}}. {{Quran|52|20}}. {{Quran|78|33}}.</ref> According to Muir, all of the Qur’anic descriptions of ''houris'' date to the last few years of Khadijah’s life; after Muhammad moved to Medina, remarried to a younger woman, there were only two brief and tame references<ref>{{Quran|2|25}}. {{Quran|4|57}}.</ref> to “companions pure”.<ref>[http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life2/chap4.htm/ Muir (1861) 2:141-144]. See also [http://www.muhammadanism.org/Canon_Sell/Quran/p024.htm/ Sell, E. (1923). ''The Historical Development of the Qur'an'', 4th Ed, pp. 25-26. London: People International.]</ref> Muir might have miscalculated, as the most detailed reference to the divine virgins<ref>{{Quran-range|55|56|58}} {{Quran-range|55|70|76}}.</ref> is sometimes dated to the Medina period,<ref>[http://www.wikiislam.net/wiki/Chronological_Order_of_the_Qur'an]</ref> although the German historian Nöldeke assigned even this one to Khadijah’s lifetime.<ref>[http://www.truthnet.org/islam/Watt/Chapter7.html/ Bell, R. (1953). Introduction to the Qur’an. Revised by Montgomery Watt (1970). Chapter 7: “The Chronology of the Qur’an.” Edinburgh University Press.]</ref> Regardless of the exact date when Muhammad eventually shifted his focus, it is certain that the ageing Khadijah knew about the ''houris''.