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==Aisha bint Abi Bakr==

[[File:DanishAisha.jpg|right|thumb|Aisha’s wedding day. Anonymous. Commissioned for Bluitgen, K. (2006). ''Koranen og profeten Muhammeds Liv'' (''The Quran and the Life of the Prophet Muhammad''). Copenhagen: Hoest & Soen.|300px]]  

Aisha bint Abi Bakr claimed that she was Muhammad’s second wife,<ref>{{Muslim|8|3452}}.</ref> although she was probably stretching the truth to make a point.<ref>Her “point” was that she was Muhammad’s first choice after Khadijah and therefore more important than her co-wives. {{Tabari|9|pp. 128-130}} makes it clear that Muhammad did propose to Aisha first. “Khawlah replied, ‘The Messenger of God has sent me to ask for A’ishah’s hand in marriage on his behalf.’ … Then Khawlah left and went to Sawdah saying, ‘O Sawdah ... the Messenger of God has sent me with a marriage proposal.’” However, Aisha certainly knew that Muhammad finalised his marriage to Sawdah before the close of “Ramadan [the ninth month] in the tenth year,”({{Tabari|39|p. 170}}). It was already “Shawwal [the tenth month] in the tenth year” ({{Tabari|39|p. 171}}; Bewley/Saad 8:43, 55; {{Muslim|8|3312}}) when he finalised his contract with Aisha.</ref> She is known as Aisha ''al-Siddiqa'' (“the Truthful”)<ref>[http://www.islamawareness.net/Muhammed/ibn_kathir_wives.html/ Ibn Kathir, ''The Wives of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW)''].</ref> to complement her father, who was also known as ''al-Siddiq''.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:46. “Masruq … would say, “The truthful daughter of the true, whose innocence was proclaimed, told me such-and-such.”</ref> This byname originally referred, not to Abu Bakr’s personal honesty, but to his “testimony to the truth” of Muhammad’s miraculous [[Night Journey]].<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 183.</ref> Muslims consider Aisha another major “witness to the truth” of Muhammad’s prophetic office.The Syrian scholar Ismail ibn Umar ibn Kathir wrote: “A great deal of the knowledge that we still have today, about how our beloved Prophet lived and behaved, was first remembered and then taught to others by Aisha … This is what makes it so much easier for those who wish to follow in their footsteps to try and follow their example.”<ref>[http://www.islamawareness.net/Muhammed/ibn_kathir_wives.html/ Ibn Kathir, ''The Wives of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW)''].</ref> Aisha’s witness has bequeathed to the world a wealth of truth about the nature of Islam.

Aisha was born in Mecca “at the beginning of the fourth year of prophethood,”<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:55.</ref> i.e., between 25 October 613 and 19 February 614.

The family lived near Khadijah’s house<ref>Muir (1861). ''The Life of Mohamet'', p. 100. London: Smith, Elder & Co.</ref> and must have known Muhammad for several years before the latter declared himself a prophet in 610. Abu Bakr “did not hold back or hesitate.”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 116.</ref> He was the first male outside Muhammad’s family to convert to Islam.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 115. According to {{Tabari|39|p. 201}}, one woman, Lubaba bint Al-Harith, claimed that her conversion pre-dated Abu Bakr’s.</ref> “When he became a Muslim, he showed his faith openly and called others to God and his apostle… He began to call to God and to Islam all whom he trusted of those who came to him and sat with him… He brought them to the apostle when they had accepted his invitation and they accepted Islam and prayed.”<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 115, 116.</ref> The earliest Muslim historian, Muhammad ibn Ishaq, lists 50 people who became Muslims through Abu Bakr’s preaching,<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 115-117.</ref> which was probably the majority of the earliest converts.

Aisha was less than three years old when the Quraysh declared a blockade against the Hashimite clan.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 159-160.</ref> Abu Bakr considered leaving Mecca to join the exiles in Abyssinia. But he found a protector who agreed to keep the neighbours from harassing him on condition he confined his religion to the privacy of his home and did not try to convert anyone else. Abu Bakr kept to the letter of the agreement – he no longer preached outside his home. But he later found a way to break its spirit. He built a mosque in the courtyard of his house, where he once again read the Qur’an out loud. When women and youths flocked to hear his preaching, the men challenged his duplicity, and Abu Bakr renounced his protection.<ref>{{Bukhari|3|37|494}}; Guillaume/Ishaq 171.</ref> But the worst recorded attack on Abu Bakr is that “one of the loutish fellows of Quraysh” once threw dust on his head.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 171-172.</ref> Aisha recalled that the ''ayat'' {{Quran|54|46}}, concerning the occasion when the moon was miraculously split in the sky, was first recited in Mecca when she was “a little girl at play,” three or four years old. She did not, however, claim to remember the miracle itself.<ref>{{Bukhari|6|60|387}}; {{Bukhari|6|60|388}}; {{Bukhari|6|60|399}}; {{Bukhari|6|61|515}}. The Lebanese scholar Dr [http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=4604&CATE=1/ Gibril Haddad] says: “The ''hadith'' masters, ''sira'' historians and Qur’anic commentators agree that the splitting of the moon took place about five years before the Holy Prophet’s Hijra to Madina,” i.e., in 617-618.</ref>

After Aisha had recovered, “and my hair had grown back past my earlobes,”<ref>{{Muslim|8|3309}}; Ibn Majah 3:1876</ref> Abu Bakr approached Muhammad and asked him if he would like to consummate the marriage. Muhammad did not express any outrage or disgust at this invitation; instead of correcting his friend’s morality, he merely confessed that he had no cash to pay the dower. Abu Bakr replied that he would provide this.<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 172-173}}.</ref> The earliest source states that it was a sum of 400 ''dirhams''<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918</ref> (about £2,000), but others say 12½ ounces,<ref>{{Tabari|39|pp. 173, 189}}; {{Muslim|38|3318}; {{Abudawud|11|2101}}; Bewley/Saad 8:118. The ounces were presumably of silver, since the same weight of gold would have had ten times this value.</ref> which would have been worth 500 ''dirhams'' (£2,500). It is also said that that dower was “some household goods worth 50 ''dirhams''”<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:44</ref> (£250), so perhaps part of the value was paid in kind. Abu Bakr did not explain why he suddenly lost his scruples over child-marriage and urged that the union be finalised; but Aisha’s illness would have hinted at her mortality, while the flight to Medina must have altered the political landscape unrecognisably, so perhaps Abu Bakr felt the need to confirm his continuing importance in the Muslim hierarchy. The family landscape had also changed, for Abu Bakr had lately acquired a new wife, Habiba bint Kharija, a Medinese woman whom he visited in the suburbs at a discreet distance from the mosque.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:243. “Habiba bint Kharija ibn Zayd … married Abu Bakr ''as-Siddiq'' and bore him Umm Kulthum.” See also Guillaume/Ishaq 227, 234. Page 681 shows that Habiba never resided near the mosque even after Umm Ruman died.</ref> Perhaps he expected this marriage to produce new financial burdens, although in fact Habiba’s only child, Umm Kulthum, was not to be born until 634.<ref>{{Tabari|11|p. 141 & f769}}; Bewley/Saad 8:243; {{Muwatta|36|33|40}}.</ref>

Aisha was always very proud of her position as the beloved of the Prophet<ref>E.g., Bewley/Saad 8:44: “Which of his wives is more fortunate than I?” Bewley/Saad 8:46: “I was preferred over the wives of the Prophet.”</ref> and never recognised that she had been raped. She spoke calmly of the way Muhammad sucked her tongue<ref>{{Abudawud|13|2380}}.</ref> and took baths with her in the same tub,<ref>{{Bukhari|1|5|263}}; {{Bukhari|1|6|298}}.</ref> and of how she would then wash the semen off his clothes<ref>{{Bukhari|1|4|229}}; {{Bukhari|1|4|230}}; {{Bukhari|1|4|231}}; {{Bukhari|1|4|232}}; {{Bukhari|1|4|233}}.</ref> and anoint him with perfume<ref>{{Bukhari|1|5|267}}.</ref> (his favourite was ''dhikarat al-tayyib'', a blend of musk and ambergris<ref>Ibn Saad, ''Tabaqat'' 1:2:90:11.</ref>).

===Poverty===

Muhammad taught that women “have the right to their food and clothing in accordance with the custom.”<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 112-113}}. See also {{Abudawud|11|2137}}.</ref> But he did not provide much food for Aisha, and she was always hungry. She was underweight because she so rarely ate meat.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 494; {{Muslim|37|6673}}.</ref> She claimed she never ate barley bread for more than three successive days. Sometimes the family did not light a fire for a month on end because they had nothing to cook but lived off dates and water.<ref>{{Muslim|42|7085}}; {{Muslim|42|7083}}; {{Muslim|42|7086}}; {{Muslim|42|7084}}; {{Muslim|42|7087}}; {{Muslim|42|7089}}; {{Muslim|42|7092}}; {{Muslim|42|7093}}; {{Muslim|42|7097}}; {{Muslim|42|7098}}.</ref> A neighbour once sent Aisha a pudding. While she was finishing her prayers, a cat came in and ate some of it, but she had no compunction in eating from the place that the cat had licked.<ref>{{Abudawud|1|76}}. This incident probably dates from after Aisha was widowed; but she maintained the habits she had learned from Muhammad.</ref>

Muhammad set up an orderly roster so that each wife would have an equal share of his attention. Every afternoon he paid a social call on all his wives before settling in the house where he intended to sleep.<ref>{{Bukhari|3|47|766}}. See also {{Bukhari|3|48|853}}; {{Muslim|8|3450}}; {{Muslim|8|3451}}; {{Muslim|8|3452}}.</ref> When he went on a journey, he cast lots among his wives to determine who would accompany him.<ref>{{Muslim|37|6673}}.</ref> But rosters and lotteries did little to secure fair turns, for all the wives knew about his preference. As Aisha said, “When a lot other than mine came out, his dislike could be seen. He did not return from any journey and visit any of his wives before me. The division [roster] began with me.”<ref>Bewely/Saad 8:124.</ref> He said, “Aisha has a part in me occupied by no one else.”<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 176}}.</ref> When he teased his wives by saying that he would give his favourite an onyx necklace, he waited for them to whisper that he would give it to Aisha before presenting it to his little granddaughter.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:27-28.</ref>

Some Muslims, especially Shi’a, hold up Aisha’s “jealousy” as an example ''not'' to be followed: “She was absolutely consumed by jealousy throughout her whole life, and jealousy is a major sin. I don’t know why such a person should be considered to be a great saint, when many ordinary women are able to rid themselves of this disease.”<ref>Haydar Husayn on [http://www.shiachat.com/forum/index.php?/topic/234992525-why-aisha-is-a-bad-woman/ ''Why Aisha is a Bad Woman''].</ref> This attempt to label Aisha as “selfish” for wanting a normal monogamous marriage deflects the blame for the conflict away from Muhammad the “perfect man”. Once the focus is returned to Muhammad, it is obvious that he showed very imperfect judgment about the nature of marriage. He claimed to be a prophet in the line of the Jews, and they did not find polygamy acceptable.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:143. “When the Jews saw Allah’s Messenger marrying women, they said, ‘Look at this person who is not satisfied by food. By God, he is only interested in women!’ They envied him because of the number of his wives and they criticised him for that, saying, ‘If he had been a prophet, he would not have desired women.’”</ref> While it is true that polygyny was normal for the pagans, Muhammad was claiming to know better than they did. The same pagans also practised polyandry, and Muhammad had enough insight to forbid this.<ref>Watt, W. M. (1956). ''Muhammad at Medina'', pp. 277-280. Oxford: Oxford University Press.</ref> He also knew that polygyny hurt women. When his son-in-law Ali considered taking a second wife, Muhammad preached from the pulpit that he forbade it because, “What hurts Fatima hurts me.”<ref>{{Bukhari|7|62|157}}.</ref> If he did not forbid polygyny for everyone, beginning with himself, it was essentially because he wanted this form of adultery to be legal. The South African theologian John Gilchrist believes: “Ayishah … may have been his favourite wife but her grievances clearly were motivated … by the fact that she was not his ''only'' wife … Ayishah’s expressions of jealousy are perhaps the best judgment that can be passed on the whole defence that polygamy is justified where all the wives are treated equally.”<ref>[http://www.bible.ca/islam/library/Gilchrist/Vol1/2c.html/ Gilchrist, J. (1986). “The Circumstances of his Marriages,” pp. 77-90, in ''Muhammad and the Religion of Islam''. Benoni, South Africa: Jesus to the Muslims.]</ref>

After the new revelation, “in the night seventy women came to the family of Muhammad, all of whom complained about their husbands.”<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:144.</ref> If they came by night, they presumably did not feel safe to complain in the open. “So Allah’s Apostle said: ‘Many women have gone round Muhammad's family complaining against their husbands. They are not the best among you.’”<ref>{{Abudawud|11|2141}}.</ref> Elsewhere he warned that women who complained about their husbands were likely to go to Hell.<ref>E.g., {{Bukhari|7|62|125}} “I saw the (Hell) Fire, and I have never before, seen such a horrible sight as that, and I saw that the majority of its dwellers were women … because … they are not thankful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favours done to them. Even if you do good to one of them all your life, when she senses some harshness from you, she will say, ‘I have never seen any good from you.’” See also {{Bukhari|1|6|301}} and {{Bukhari|2|18|161}}.</ref> When Tamima bint Wahb came to Aisha for help because she was covered with bruises from her husband’s beatings, Aisha observed: “Her face is greener than her veil. Believing women suffer more than any others!” Muhammad took no interest in Tamima’s bruises; he only attended to determining why her marriage had apparently never been consummated.<ref>{{Bukhari|7|72|715}}; Bewley/Saad 8:295.</ref> He also had no recorded reaction to Aisha’s complaint that pagans treated their wives better than Muslims did.

Later generations of Muslims have too often inferred from all this that, although Muhammad discouraged wife-beating, this was one of those impossible ideals to which no ordinary Muslim could reasonably aspire. A 2013 study by Dr Lateefa Latif is said to have found that nearly half of Saudi women were being beaten by their husbands, fathers, brothers and even their sons, who used their hands, sticks, head-covers and sharp objects.<ref>[http://www.emirates247.com/crime/region/nearly-half-saudi-women-are-beaten-at-home-2013-02-26-1.496510/ “Nearly half Saudi women are beaten at home”] in ''Emirates 24/7'', 26 February 2013.</ref> Leaders of six Swedish mosques in 2012 advised beaten wives not to report their husbands to the police.<ref>[http://www.thelocal.se/40866/20120516/ Mosques’ advice: ‘don’t report abusive husbands’]. ''The Local'', 16 May 2012.</ref>

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