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When Muhammad made his formal request for Aisha’s hand, he did not mention that Allah had “commanded” him to marry her.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:55.</ref> Abu Bakr hesitated at first, saying, “Would this be suitable, since she is like my brother’s daughter?” But Muhammad said that their brotherhood was purely spiritual and did not preclude such a marriage.<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 129}}; {{Bukhari|7|62|18}}.</ref> Abu Bakr had to break off Aisha’s informal engagement to Jubayr ibn Al-Mutim, but this proved easy, as the pagan family no longer wished to risk that their son might convert to Islam.<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 129-130}}.</ref> So Abu Bakr married his daughter to Muhammad in May or June 620.<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918; {{Bukhari|1|7|88}}; {{Bukhari|7|62|90}}; {{Muslim|2|3309}}; {{Muslim|2|3310}}; {{Muslim|2|3311}}; {{Muslim|4|3309}}; {{Muslim|8|3311}}; Bewley/Saad 8:55; {{Tabari|9|pp. 130-131}}; Ibn Majah 3:1876; Ibn Majah 3:1877.</ref> | When Muhammad made his formal request for Aisha’s hand, he did not mention that Allah had “commanded” him to marry her.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:55.</ref> Abu Bakr hesitated at first, saying, “Would this be suitable, since she is like my brother’s daughter?” But Muhammad said that their brotherhood was purely spiritual and did not preclude such a marriage.<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 129}}; {{Bukhari|7|62|18}}.</ref> Abu Bakr had to break off Aisha’s informal engagement to Jubayr ibn Al-Mutim, but this proved easy, as the pagan family no longer wished to risk that their son might convert to Islam.<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 129-130}}.</ref> So Abu Bakr married his daughter to Muhammad in May or June 620.<ref>Ibn Hisham note 918; {{Bukhari|1|7|88}}; {{Bukhari|7|62|90}}; {{Muslim|2|3309}}; {{Muslim|2|3310}}; {{Muslim|2|3311}}; {{Muslim|4|3309}}; {{Muslim|8|3311}}; Bewley/Saad 8:55; {{Tabari|9|pp. 130-131}}; Ibn Majah 3:1876; Ibn Majah 3:1877.</ref> | ||
Soon afterwards, Aisha was sent to Muhammad with a basket of dates. As soon as they were alone in the room, Muhammad “stretched out his blessed hand and grabbed her clothes.” Aisha “glared” at him and exclaimed, “People call you The Trustworthy, but to me you are The Treacherous!” She shook him off, rearranged her clothes and went to complain to her father.<ref>Abdulrahman Hamdanius, ''Al-Shabayat'', cited in Maracci, L. (1698). ''Vita Mahometis'', p. 23. CITY: PUBLISHER | Soon afterwards, Aisha was sent to Muhammad with a basket of dates. As soon as they were alone in the room, Muhammad “stretched out his blessed hand and grabbed her clothes.” Aisha “glared” at him and exclaimed, “People call you The Trustworthy, but to me you are The Treacherous!” She shook him off, rearranged her clothes and went to complain to her father. Abu Bakr showed no anger or even surprise; he only told her that she was now married to Muhammad, who was therefore treating her like a wife. <ref>Abdulrahman Hamdanius, ''Al-Shabayat'', cited in Maracci, L. (1698). ''Vita Mahometis'', p. 23. CITY: PUBLISHER.</ref> While there is no record that Muhammad attacked Aisha again as long as she lived in her father’s house (he had probably not expected that a child as young as six would resist him), it is sufficient evidence of his sexual intentions towards her that such an attack should have occurred even once. | ||
Although Aisha heard her father’s words, it seems she did not really understand them, for she later claimed that she had not known that she was married until the very day of the consummation.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:43. “I did not know that the Messenger of Allah had married me until my mother took me and made me sit in the room rather than being outside [on the day of the consummation]. Then it occurred to me that I was married.”</ref> That Aisha did not know that she was married was, of course, nothing unusual. Throughout history and in nearly every culture, betrothals have been arranged over cradles, and women in particular have been married without their knowledge, understanding or consent. The fact that Aisha was a child is barely an issue here; no woman of any age should be married without her own consent, whether she is six, sixteen, thirty-six or sixty. However, it is unlikely that any seventh-century Arab grasped “informed consent” in the way the modern West understands it. Muhammad’s similar failure to grasp it betrays that he was no prophet or pioneer of human rights but was simply a normal product of his own culture. | Although Aisha heard her father’s words, it seems she did not really understand them, for she later claimed that she had not known that she was married until the very day of the consummation.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:43. “I did not know that the Messenger of Allah had married me until my mother took me and made me sit in the room rather than being outside [on the day of the consummation]. Then it occurred to me that I was married.”</ref> That Aisha did not know that she was married was, of course, nothing unusual. Throughout history and in nearly every culture, betrothals have been arranged over cradles, and women in particular have been married without their knowledge, understanding or consent. The fact that Aisha was a child is barely an issue here; no woman of any age should be married without her own consent, whether she is six, sixteen, thirty-six or sixty. However, it is unlikely that any seventh-century Arab grasped “informed consent” in the way the modern West understands it. Muhammad’s similar failure to grasp it betrays that he was no prophet or pioneer of human rights but was simply a normal product of his own culture. | ||
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===Relationship with Muhammad=== | ===Relationship with Muhammad=== | ||
Aisha was to remain Muhammad’s favourite wife.<ref>{{Bukhari|3|47|755}}; {{Muslim|31|5984}}.</ref> He claimed that Aisha was dearer to him “than butter with | Aisha was to remain Muhammad’s favourite wife.<ref>{{Bukhari|3|47|755}}; {{Muslim|31|5984}}.</ref> He claimed that Aisha was dearer to him “than butter with dates”<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:55.</ref> and superior to all other women in the same way that a meat stew was superior to plain bread.<ref>{{Bukhari|4|55|623}}; {{Bukhari|5|57|113}}; {{Bukhari|5|57|114}}; {{Bukhari|7|65|329}}; {{Bukhari|7|65|330}}; {{Bukhari|7|65|339}}.</ref> When a companion asked him, “Whom do you love most in this world?” he replied, “Aisha!” When the young man protested that he had meant ''male'' persons, Muhammad corrected his reply to, “Her father.”<ref>{{Bukhari|5|57|14}}.</ref> He made himself a doorway in the mosque wall close to Aisha’s house-door,<ref>{{Tabari|39|p. 173}}; Bewley/Saad 8:45.</ref> presumably to visit her more conveniently. At table he would eat meat from a bone that she had bitten and drink from her cup.<ref>[http://ahadith.co.uk/chapter.php?cid=153&page=8/ Nasa’i 1:70.]</ref> As he once sat repairing his sandals, Aisha stared at him until he asked why. She replied, “Al-Huthali’s poem was written for you! He said that if you looked to the majesty of the moon, it twinkles and lights up the world for everybody to see.” Muhammad walked over to her, kissed her between the eyes, and said, “I swear to Allah, Aisha, you are like that to me and more.”<ref>Sunan al-Bayhaqi 15825.</ref> She once asked, “How is your love for me?” and he replied that it was, “Like the rope’s knot.” After that she would often ask, “How is the knot?” and he would reply, “The same as ever!”<ref>[http://www.islamawareness.net/Muhammed/ibn_kathir_wives.html/ Ibn Kathir, ''The Wives of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW)''].</ref> | ||
Muhammad allowed Aisha her playtime. Her collection of dolls included at least three shaped like female humans<ref>{{Bukhari|8|73|151}}; {{Muslim|8|3311}}; {{Muslim|31|5981}}.</ref> and a stuffed horse with wings. Muhammad questioned her about this anomaly but he laughed when she reminded him that Solomon was supposed to have owned winged horses.<ref>{{Abudawud|41|4914}}.</ref> Strangely, neither of them mentioned that Muhammad himself claimed to have ridden a winged horse a few years earlier.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 182; {{Bukhari|4|54|429}}; {{Bukhari|5|58|227}}.</ref> Aisha said that (presumably after she grew older) she used to hide her dolls under a garment when Muhammad entered, “but she did not stop.”<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:47.</ref> | Muhammad allowed Aisha her playtime. Her collection of dolls included at least three shaped like female humans<ref>{{Bukhari|8|73|151}}; {{Muslim|8|3311}}; {{Muslim|31|5981}}.</ref> and a stuffed horse with wings. Muhammad questioned her about this anomaly but he laughed when she reminded him that Solomon was supposed to have owned winged horses.<ref>{{Abudawud|41|4914}}.</ref> Strangely, neither of them mentioned that Muhammad himself claimed to have ridden a winged horse a few years earlier.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 182; {{Bukhari|4|54|429}}; {{Bukhari|5|58|227}}.</ref> Aisha said that (presumably after she grew older) she used to hide her dolls under a garment when Muhammad entered, “but she did not stop.”<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:47.</ref> | ||
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At first her playmates “felt shy of Allah’s Messenger”<ref>{{Muslim|31|5981}}.</ref> and “used to hide themselves” when Muhammad entered her house, “but the Prophet would call them to join and play with me.”<ref>{{Bukhari|8|73|151}}</ref> At festival time her friends sang badly and beat tambourines in her house, although Muhammad came to lie down there. Abu Bakr rebuked them: “Musical instruments of Satan near the Prophet!” But Muhammad told the girls not to stop their play for him.<ref>{{Bukhari|2|15|70}}; {{Bukhari|2|15|72}}.</ref> Later that day, some Abyssinian guests put on a display in the mosque courtyard to demonstrate their prowess with shields and spears. Women were not really allowed, but Muhammad circumvented the regulation by standing in front of Aisha at her front door, screening her with his cloak, so that she could watch the performance without being seen.<ref>{{Bukhari|2|15|70}}.</ref> She once beat him in a running race. Later, after she had put on weight, they raced again, and he won, remarking, “This pays you back for that other time!”<ref>{{Abudawud|14|2572}}.</ref> Given the chance to mount an unbroken camel, she drove it “round and round” until Muhammad had to remind her to be gentle with the animal.<ref>{{Muslim|32|6275}}; {{Muslim|32|6274}}. See also {{Abudawud|41|4790}}.</ref> | At first her playmates “felt shy of Allah’s Messenger”<ref>{{Muslim|31|5981}}.</ref> and “used to hide themselves” when Muhammad entered her house, “but the Prophet would call them to join and play with me.”<ref>{{Bukhari|8|73|151}}</ref> At festival time her friends sang badly and beat tambourines in her house, although Muhammad came to lie down there. Abu Bakr rebuked them: “Musical instruments of Satan near the Prophet!” But Muhammad told the girls not to stop their play for him.<ref>{{Bukhari|2|15|70}}; {{Bukhari|2|15|72}}.</ref> Later that day, some Abyssinian guests put on a display in the mosque courtyard to demonstrate their prowess with shields and spears. Women were not really allowed, but Muhammad circumvented the regulation by standing in front of Aisha at her front door, screening her with his cloak, so that she could watch the performance without being seen.<ref>{{Bukhari|2|15|70}}.</ref> She once beat him in a running race. Later, after she had put on weight, they raced again, and he won, remarking, “This pays you back for that other time!”<ref>{{Abudawud|14|2572}}.</ref> Given the chance to mount an unbroken camel, she drove it “round and round” until Muhammad had to remind her to be gentle with the animal.<ref>{{Muslim|32|6275}}; {{Muslim|32|6274}}. See also {{Abudawud|41|4790}}.</ref> | ||
But what these “innocent” episodes demonstrate, above anything else, is that Aisha ''was'' a child. A grown woman does not play with dolls and swings. Aisha was just a little girl who, like any other little girl, was inconsiderate about noise<ref>{{Bukhari|2|15|72}}</ref> and could not cook.<ref>Al-Nasa’i 8917 tells an incident where a co-wife declines to eat Aisha’s cooking and Muhammad also avoids tasting it; since politeness compelled people, even if “not hungry,” to accept at least a small portion, the food is presumably not fit to eat. {{Bukhari|3|48|829}} reveals that Aisha usually delegated the daily baking to her maid and did not even watch the rising dough reliably. In Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 6 p. 227 (see also {{Bukhari|1|7|152}}), the teenaged Aisha is so jealous of a co-wife’s superior culinary skills that she smashes her dish.</ref> | But what these “innocent” episodes demonstrate, above anything else, is that Aisha ''was'' a child. A grown woman does not play with dolls and swings. Aisha was just a little girl who, like any other little girl, was inconsiderate about noise<ref>{{Bukhari|2|15|72}}</ref> and could not cook.<ref>Al-Nasa’i 8917 tells an incident where a co-wife declines to eat Aisha’s cooking and Muhammad also avoids tasting it; since politeness compelled people, even if “not hungry,” to accept at least a small portion, the food is presumably not fit to eat. {{Bukhari|3|48|829}} reveals that Aisha usually delegated the daily baking to her maid and did not even watch the rising dough reliably. In Hanbal, ''Musnad'' vol. 6 p. 227 (see also {{Bukhari|1|7|152}}), the teenaged Aisha is so jealous of a co-wife’s superior culinary skills that she smashes her dish.</ref> While (as shown above) she could be surprisingly assertive towards her elders, she was no match for Muhammad. She often resorted to expressing her displeasure indirectly, by declaiming, “By the lord of Ibrahim,” instead of her usual, “By the lord of Muhammad.” However, he took the hint.<ref>{{Bukhari|7|62|155}}.</ref> | ||
===Poverty=== | ===Poverty=== | ||
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Muhammad taught that women “have the right to their food and clothing in accordance with the custom.”<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 112-113}}. See also {{Abudawud|11|2137}}.</ref> But he did not provide much food for Aisha, and she was always hungry. She was underweight because she so rarely ate meat.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 494; {{Muslim|37|6673}}.</ref> She claimed she never ate barley bread for more than three successive days. Sometimes the family did not light a fire for a month on end because they had nothing to cook but lived off dates and water.<ref>{{Muslim|42|7085}}; {{Muslim|42|7083}}; {{Muslim|42|7086}}; {{Muslim|42|7084}}; {{Muslim|42|7087}}; {{Muslim|42|7089}}; {{Muslim|42|7092}}; {{Muslim|42|7093}}; {{Muslim|42|7097}}; {{Muslim|42|7098}}.</ref> A neighbour once sent Aisha a pudding. While she was finishing her prayers, a cat came in and ate some of it, but she had no compunction in eating from the place that the cat had licked.<ref>{{Abudawud|1|76}}. This incident probably dates from after Aisha was widowed; but she maintained the habits she had learned from Muhammad.</ref> | Muhammad taught that women “have the right to their food and clothing in accordance with the custom.”<ref>{{Tabari|9|p. 112-113}}. See also {{Abudawud|11|2137}}.</ref> But he did not provide much food for Aisha, and she was always hungry. She was underweight because she so rarely ate meat.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 494; {{Muslim|37|6673}}.</ref> She claimed she never ate barley bread for more than three successive days. Sometimes the family did not light a fire for a month on end because they had nothing to cook but lived off dates and water.<ref>{{Muslim|42|7085}}; {{Muslim|42|7083}}; {{Muslim|42|7086}}; {{Muslim|42|7084}}; {{Muslim|42|7087}}; {{Muslim|42|7089}}; {{Muslim|42|7092}}; {{Muslim|42|7093}}; {{Muslim|42|7097}}; {{Muslim|42|7098}}.</ref> A neighbour once sent Aisha a pudding. While she was finishing her prayers, a cat came in and ate some of it, but she had no compunction in eating from the place that the cat had licked.<ref>{{Abudawud|1|76}}. This incident probably dates from after Aisha was widowed; but she maintained the habits she had learned from Muhammad.</ref> | ||
Muhammad told Aisha, “Beware of sitting with the wealthy, and do not replace a garment until you have already mended it.”<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:53.</ref> Throughout her life, she disliked discarding worn-out clothes.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:52.</ref> She did own a gown costing about 5 ''dirhams'' (£25), and “no woman desiring to appear elegant before her husband failed to borrow [it] from me.” But the cloth cannot have been of very high quality compared to what became available in Medina in later decades, for although the widowed Aisha continued to wear similar clothes, her [[Slavery|slave]] refused to wear such a coarse gown in the house.<ref>{{Bukhari|3|47|796}}.</ref> The mosque had no indoor toilets, “for we loathe and detest them,”<ref>Guilaume/Ishaq 495.</ref> and Aisha did not have a lamp in her house.<ref>{{Bukhari|1|9|492}}.</ref> | Muhammad told Aisha, “Beware of sitting with the wealthy, and do not replace a garment until you have already mended it.”<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:53.</ref> Throughout her life, she disliked discarding worn-out clothes.<ref>Bewley/Saad 8:52.</ref> She did own a gown costing about 5 ''dirhams'' (£25), and “no woman desiring to appear elegant before her husband failed to borrow [it] from me.” But the cloth cannot have been of very high quality compared to what became available in Medina in later decades, for although the widowed Aisha continued to wear similar clothes, her [[Slavery|slave]] refused to wear such a coarse gown in the house.<ref>{{Bukhari|3|47|796}}.</ref> The mosque had no indoor toilets, “for we loathe and detest them,”<ref>Guilaume/Ishaq 495.</ref> and Aisha did not have a lamp in her house.<ref>{{Bukhari|1|9|492}}.</ref> When her quilt was stolen, it was a real loss, and she began to curse the unknown thief. However, Muhammad told her not to do so, because curses on earth would only lessen the thief’s punishment in the Hereafter.<ref>{{Abudawud|8|1492}}; {{Abudawud|41|4891}}.</ref> | ||
Charity was a way of life for the Arabs, and of course the Prophet’s young wife had to set the example. In the early years, beggars sat on the Bench in the mosque courtyard waiting for food distribution.<ref>{{Bukhari|1|10|576}}: “The ''Suffa'' companions were poor people, and the Prophet said, ‘Whoever has food for two persons should take a third one from them.’” See also [http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life3/chap8.htm/ Muir (1861), pp. 20-21.]</ref> Aisha used to count them until Muhammad told her, “Give and do not calculate, [or else] calculation will be made against you.”<ref>{{Abudawud|9|1696}}.</ref> On one occasion a beggar came to her door on a fast-day, and Aisha told her maid to give him their only loaf. The servant protested that there would be nothing to break their fast, but Aisha insisted.<ref>{{Muwatta|58|1|5}}.</ref> On another occasion, a widow with two daughters came begging, and Aisha’s larder was reduced to one date. She handed it over, and the widow divided it between the children without taking anything for herself.<ref>{{Muslim|32|6362}}; {{Bukhari|8|73|24}}.</ref> Ibn Kathir, writing 700 years after the event, cited this old tradition. | Charity was a way of life for the Arabs, and of course the Prophet’s young wife had to set the example. In the early years, beggars sat on the Bench in the mosque courtyard waiting for food distribution.<ref>{{Bukhari|1|10|576}}: “The ''Suffa'' companions were poor people, and the Prophet said, ‘Whoever has food for two persons should take a third one from them.’” See also [http://www.answering-islam.org/Books/Muir/Life3/chap8.htm/ Muir (1861), pp. 20-21.]</ref> Aisha used to count them until Muhammad told her, “Give and do not calculate, [or else] calculation will be made against you.”<ref>{{Abudawud|9|1696}}.</ref> Sometimes he brought them into her house to be fed, although she struggled to find food “as small in quantity as a pigeon” to serve them.<ref>{{Abudawud|41|5022}}.</ref> On one occasion a beggar came to her door on a fast-day, and Aisha told her maid to give him their only loaf. The servant protested that there would be nothing to break their fast, but Aisha insisted.<ref>{{Muwatta|58|1|5}}.</ref> On another occasion, a widow with two daughters came begging, and Aisha’s larder was reduced to one date. She handed it over, and the widow divided it between the children without taking anything for herself.<ref>{{Muslim|32|6362}}; {{Bukhari|8|73|24}}.</ref> Ibn Kathir, writing 700 years after the event, cited this old tradition. | ||
{{Quote|[http://www.islamawareness.net/Muhammed/ibn_kathir_wives.html/ Ibn Kathir, ''The Wives of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW)''].|The Prophet had sacrificed an animal, and Ayesha was so generous in sharing the meat out amongst the poor that she found that she had left nothing for the Messenger’s large household except the shoulder of the animal. Feeling a little distressed, she went to the Prophet, and said, | {{Quote|[http://www.islamawareness.net/Muhammed/ibn_kathir_wives.html/ Ibn Kathir, ''The Wives of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW)''].|The Prophet had sacrificed an animal, and Ayesha was so generous in sharing the meat out amongst the poor that she found that she had left nothing for the Messenger’s large household except the shoulder of the animal. Feeling a little distressed, she went to the Prophet, and said, ‘I’ve only been able to save this.’ ‘That is the only part that you have not saved,’ smiled the Prophet, ‘for whatever you give away in the name of Allah, you save, and whatever you keep for yourself, you lose.’”}} | ||
The shoulder was Muhammad’s favourite part of the sheep.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 516</ref> | The shoulder was Muhammad’s favourite part of the sheep.<ref>Guillaume/Ishaq 516</ref> | ||