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===Style & Tone=== | ===Style & Tone=== | ||
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! Incorrect {{spaces|1}}[[File:Cross.png]] | |||
! Corrected [[File:Checkmark.svg|20px]] | |||
! Notes | |||
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| ''Because of this double standard, countries such as France, Belgium, Italy, and the Netherlands have banned people concealing their identity in public completely.'' | |||
| ''Because of this conflicting standard, [...]'' | |||
| The term double-standard should be replaced | |||
|- | |||
| ''Aisha even started a war against her old enemy Ali, causing ten thousand Muslims to kill each other in one day.'' | |||
| ''Aisha began a war against Ali that resulted in ten thousand fatalities in one day.'' | |||
| Avoid writing in an emotional, dramatic style. State the facts and nothing else. This is what the reader wants to know. | |||
|} | |||
===Content=== | ===Content=== | ||
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! Corrected [[File:Checkmark.svg|20px]] | ! Corrected [[File:Checkmark.svg|20px]] | ||
! Notes | ! Notes | ||
|- | |- | ||
| ''Time would show that Aisha was confident, spirited, strong-willed and highly intelligent – she had indeed “some of the qualities of Khadijah”.'' | | ''Time would show that Aisha was confident, spirited, strong-willed and highly intelligent – she had indeed “some of the qualities of Khadijah”.'' | ||
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| (avoid) | | (avoid) | ||
| Once again we're drawing conclusions that are not present in the original text. | | Once again we're drawing conclusions that are not present in the original text. | ||
|- | |- | ||
| ''Juwayriya was sweet-natured, charming and as alluringly beautiful as a fairy; men became infatuated with her at first sight.'' | | ''Juwayriya was sweet-natured, charming and as alluringly beautiful as a fairy; men became infatuated with her at first sight.'' |
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